rate_review Reviews

Enjoyed your story. I especially like the way you balanced the romantic and sexual elements at the same time. If such a pairing had occurred during the actual story line, things would have turned out a lot differently for Shinji.

Thanks,
ten/mark

"pacing out the dialogue onto separate chapters when a different character starts speaking" Did I say that? I need to stop reading stuff late at night... I meant Paragraphs, not Chapters... crikes... Yeah proofreading isn't my greatest skill... but at least I'm in the habit of checking back on stuff I write days later to make sure they still make sense to me.

Alright, till next time!

A cool sexy filler to the story, alright!

The story was hot, the narration at time I thought sounded a little mature for Touji, but just having a story being written first person is always a welcome change. One thing I'd recommend is spacing out the dialogue onto separate chapters when a different character starts speaking. It makes it easier to follow so you don't get as confused as to which character is talking at the moment. Very good grammar and editing though! I can't think of any place in the story that tripped up the flow of reading it.

So yes... very hot... Maybe it's just that I haven't been to the Evangelion section in a while, but I recall Shinji/Touji pairings (or Shinji/anyone other than Kaworu) to be quite rare. I always wanted to see more Shinji/Touji/Kensuke in any order since they always made quite the troupe.

I'd definitely like to see more on this, find out where this story would interact with the actual one. The idea of getting some alone time on the navy ship does sound promising. After all that is the episode where Shinji has to wear Asuka's plug suit.

Good luck with any endeavors you decide on!