schedule
January 31, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Wow,so much poetry behind those words.I honestly found that romantic,much more romantic than a poem.Great job!
schedule
April 24, 2009 at 12:00 AM
You know, you have a really good story going on here, and I have to admit that you have excellent grammar.
However... I'd recommend you to use more words than just their names to describe what they're doing. Reading 'Doumeki did... so Watanuki did... then Doumeki did... so Watanuki did...' and so on and so forth gets really tiring for the reader in the long run :) This isnt meant as a flame, only as constructive criticism to help you grow as an author. Believe me, I have my fair share of rookie mistakes.
Keep up the good job!
However... I'd recommend you to use more words than just their names to describe what they're doing. Reading 'Doumeki did... so Watanuki did... then Doumeki did... so Watanuki did...' and so on and so forth gets really tiring for the reader in the long run :) This isnt meant as a flame, only as constructive criticism to help you grow as an author. Believe me, I have my fair share of rookie mistakes.
Keep up the good job!