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October 31, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Well this was certainly an epic chapter, with so much happening on many levels. I liked Riki's touch of giving Raoul a cat, the man would never have learned on his own, and advise isn't the same as practical hands on experience. And of course as in RL, the pet trains the owner. I'm just wondering if the human cat and the pet cat will get on, as they are both laying claim to one particular Blondie. . rofl
So what now? I'd imagine that Katze and Raoul still have a few things to settle between them. . after all a 'humping' does not a relationship make. . . :)
I think we can all say this story didn't take the direction I thought it would. . .but it has been fun, watching it growth.
Don't know if you are coming to an end with this or your head can find another angle to explore. . .but whatever happens. . .its been fun :)
So what now? I'd imagine that Katze and Raoul still have a few things to settle between them. . after all a 'humping' does not a relationship make. . . :)
I think we can all say this story didn't take the direction I thought it would. . .but it has been fun, watching it growth.
Don't know if you are coming to an end with this or your head can find another angle to explore. . .but whatever happens. . .its been fun :)
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October 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
@ Orant mihi:
The fact that someone gives the author's stories a 3-star-rating doesn't make them a "hater" and nobody here is "lowering the rate". The world isn't divided into black and white, "haters" and "admirers", you know. There is also a major difference between constructive criticism and negativity. The fact is: There are several things that are seriously wrong with this story as well as the first one the author wrote.
1. There are so many spelling and grammar mistakes in both stories it is borderline painful. This particular issue has improved somewhat and the style changed as well lately which led me to believe the author found a beta at last. But if you read the first chapters of this story... it is an insult to the English language. English isn't my first language (it's my fourth, actually), but I would never butcher it like that.
2. The storyline of both stories is all over the place. There is no apparent concept there AT ALL.
3. The author, on several occasions uses dialogue straight out of the original OVA without a specific disclaimer. That is called plagiarism.
4. The characters are so OUT of character in regard to the novel and the original OVA it is a mystery why the author even bothers to call this "Ai no Kusabi". She could have labeled it OOC, I suppose, but the thing is: The actions of these characters make no SENSE whatsoever. It's like the author had an idea here and there and just threw it all together without thinking it through, without contemplating where she was going with this story. She also doesn't seem to know one iota about the original story beyond the anime. Both her stories are a complete travesty of what Reiko Yoshihara's classic work is all about.
5. Not only did the author use lengthy parts of the anime's dialogue without an explicit disclaimer. There are also, repeatedly lines and phrases that don't sound like here at all. You can tell by the constant deviation from her style throughout the first few chapters. Again, this is plagiarism.
If you REALLY want to read good Ai no Kusabi fanfiction, read Ainzfern's beautiful stories at http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=ainzfern&keyword=Ai+no+Kusabi+Fic&filter=all or check out Lena's fantastic collection on http://www.ainokusabi.net/ .
THAT'S how you write good Ai no Kusabi fanfiction, not the bullshit this author has come up with. She has a 3-star-rating, because most people here feel that this is by far the best rating she deserves for it. Plain and simple. So the the next time you feel like calling someone "haters" you may want to take into consideration that people here DO know what they are talking about and thus rate a story accordingly. And before you ask: No. I didn't even rate this gunk, so I am not one of your "haters".
No response required. I only come here once a year anyway so I won't bother to read it.
Abraxas
The fact that someone gives the author's stories a 3-star-rating doesn't make them a "hater" and nobody here is "lowering the rate". The world isn't divided into black and white, "haters" and "admirers", you know. There is also a major difference between constructive criticism and negativity. The fact is: There are several things that are seriously wrong with this story as well as the first one the author wrote.
1. There are so many spelling and grammar mistakes in both stories it is borderline painful. This particular issue has improved somewhat and the style changed as well lately which led me to believe the author found a beta at last. But if you read the first chapters of this story... it is an insult to the English language. English isn't my first language (it's my fourth, actually), but I would never butcher it like that.
2. The storyline of both stories is all over the place. There is no apparent concept there AT ALL.
3. The author, on several occasions uses dialogue straight out of the original OVA without a specific disclaimer. That is called plagiarism.
4. The characters are so OUT of character in regard to the novel and the original OVA it is a mystery why the author even bothers to call this "Ai no Kusabi". She could have labeled it OOC, I suppose, but the thing is: The actions of these characters make no SENSE whatsoever. It's like the author had an idea here and there and just threw it all together without thinking it through, without contemplating where she was going with this story. She also doesn't seem to know one iota about the original story beyond the anime. Both her stories are a complete travesty of what Reiko Yoshihara's classic work is all about.
5. Not only did the author use lengthy parts of the anime's dialogue without an explicit disclaimer. There are also, repeatedly lines and phrases that don't sound like here at all. You can tell by the constant deviation from her style throughout the first few chapters. Again, this is plagiarism.
If you REALLY want to read good Ai no Kusabi fanfiction, read Ainzfern's beautiful stories at http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=ainzfern&keyword=Ai+no+Kusabi+Fic&filter=all or check out Lena's fantastic collection on http://www.ainokusabi.net/ .
THAT'S how you write good Ai no Kusabi fanfiction, not the bullshit this author has come up with. She has a 3-star-rating, because most people here feel that this is by far the best rating she deserves for it. Plain and simple. So the the next time you feel like calling someone "haters" you may want to take into consideration that people here DO know what they are talking about and thus rate a story accordingly. And before you ask: No. I didn't even rate this gunk, so I am not one of your "haters".
No response required. I only come here once a year anyway so I won't bother to read it.
Abraxas
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October 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I guess everyone is entitled to an opinion... how ever there is constructive criticism and all out bashing. I consider what Abraxas has written is the latter and not the former.
Anyone who writes fanfic, as far as I'm concerned has guts to put it out there. This is after all for fun, not profit as is stated in each story. No one here is a professional, so bravo to all the brave souls who put their stories here for our entertainment.
I won't go into details defending this story, because there are enough positive reviews that already do that in their praise.
I for one would rather go by the old maxim, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.. . .
And as far as I can tell, there is not one positive statement in that 'review'. ..
Another maxim. . .don't like.. .don't read. . . .
and if one does need to express their dissatisfaction, then their is a more 'polite' way of doing it.
Anyone who writes fanfic, as far as I'm concerned has guts to put it out there. This is after all for fun, not profit as is stated in each story. No one here is a professional, so bravo to all the brave souls who put their stories here for our entertainment.
I won't go into details defending this story, because there are enough positive reviews that already do that in their praise.
I for one would rather go by the old maxim, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.. . .
And as far as I can tell, there is not one positive statement in that 'review'. ..
Another maxim. . .don't like.. .don't read. . . .
and if one does need to express their dissatisfaction, then their is a more 'polite' way of doing it.
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October 17, 2009 at 12:00 AM
If Raoul and Iason were like dogs and Katze is so much like his name(cat) then maybe him and Raoul will never get along. Was ver curious about Iason's and Raoul's dark history together. Great chapter, cant wait to read more.
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October 17, 2009 at 12:00 AM
The best thing about this chapter is the new direction it took in giving the Blondies specific flaws in their make up. And that flaw also explains why Jupiter did what she did. So her Blondies were not so perfect after all and had to be kept apart for a very good reason. . .
Of course the howling and only having sex at the full moons, gave me pause when I next expected to hear about them turning into werewolves (rofl) but the effect is still the same. They are not as controlled as they would like to believe they are and are affected by the moon's cycle, when it comes to Blondies mating with Blondies.
So all in all finding that Iason has a serious weakness here , and needs Riki for stability adds to his dimensions as a character.
As to Raoul and Katze. . .
Well my eyes did pop when I realized what was going on under the desk. . . but what do you do now?
You can't have Raoul, go back to work or hide out to hide his pain. If you remember that is what happened after the Riki/Iason incidents and why Katze what sent to him in the first place.
So either you have him run back to Riki, with his tail between his legs,
or, talk to Iason for more male bonding (how much exactly does Raoul remember?)
or. . .Have Riki take matters in his own hands straight away. He's no fool. And he knows exactly what would have happened when Raoul and Katze left and what the outcome would be. He did warn Raoul. . remember? It might be an idea for Riki to talk to Katze and explain to him about a few new Blondie traits he just found out about.
Then let Katze, take control. . . Let him go and control Raoul, and explain a few things to him about relationships and straighten him out once and for all.
Or does Raoul do what all children do. . .Run to Mother to make it better. . . .(damn, why do I see Jupiter, looking at him going. . .are you stupid?)
Can't wait to see what direction you will take, or if your head comes up with something different again.
Your characters in this chapter especially Iason and Riki went in a new direction with more depth to their make up. The story so far has had many twists and turns, and not the expected straight line, the beginning implied.
Can't wait to see the next twist in the tale.
:) Hope it's soon
Of course the howling and only having sex at the full moons, gave me pause when I next expected to hear about them turning into werewolves (rofl) but the effect is still the same. They are not as controlled as they would like to believe they are and are affected by the moon's cycle, when it comes to Blondies mating with Blondies.
So all in all finding that Iason has a serious weakness here , and needs Riki for stability adds to his dimensions as a character.
As to Raoul and Katze. . .
Well my eyes did pop when I realized what was going on under the desk. . . but what do you do now?
You can't have Raoul, go back to work or hide out to hide his pain. If you remember that is what happened after the Riki/Iason incidents and why Katze what sent to him in the first place.
So either you have him run back to Riki, with his tail between his legs,
or, talk to Iason for more male bonding (how much exactly does Raoul remember?)
or. . .Have Riki take matters in his own hands straight away. He's no fool. And he knows exactly what would have happened when Raoul and Katze left and what the outcome would be. He did warn Raoul. . remember? It might be an idea for Riki to talk to Katze and explain to him about a few new Blondie traits he just found out about.
Then let Katze, take control. . . Let him go and control Raoul, and explain a few things to him about relationships and straighten him out once and for all.
Or does Raoul do what all children do. . .Run to Mother to make it better. . . .(damn, why do I see Jupiter, looking at him going. . .are you stupid?)
Can't wait to see what direction you will take, or if your head comes up with something different again.
Your characters in this chapter especially Iason and Riki went in a new direction with more depth to their make up. The story so far has had many twists and turns, and not the expected straight line, the beginning implied.
Can't wait to see the next twist in the tale.
:) Hope it's soon
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October 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Well good for Katze, he shouldn't let Raoul use him like that. Raoul had it coming and Katze shouldn't take him back till the blondie learns that. Anther awesome chapter, please update soon.
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October 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
WTF!!! I am gone for a couple of chapters and this happens?! I don't know what to say, although I love the imagery of Iason and Rauol howling like dogs. I cant wait to see where this going. Keep it up!!! Email me when you update again.
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October 8, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Poor Katze, and idiot Raoul. .but more on them later. . .there are other issues to cover here :)
The two Blondie idiots howling, Riki's reaction (feeling left out) and Raoul's reply opens up a whole area of questions. The main one being. . when did they do this? Has some vague memories returned to them before the first mind wipe when they were friends and then lovers. Or does this refer to a time pre Riki when they were just friends. Or even worse. . . did this take place when Riki first became Iason's pet, and Raoul not realizing, how serious the situation really was, sharing a vulgar moment with his friend over the taking of the mongrel and what happened in the bedroom. . .
I am really hoping you have the scene between Riki and Iason where this all comes out.. ..and Riki besides putting Iason in his place, makes sure the top Blondie understands that what happens in the house between them, stays in the house between them and is not something the rest of Eos (or Raoul either for that matter) has to know. I keep hearing Riki in my head screaming at Iason that if that's all he wants from him is to be a sex toy, then he will find a way of getting to Jupiter himself and volunteering for a mind wipe and be made into a mindless sex droid. .. since that seems to be what Iason wants and doesn't care how he feels - rofl. . .
As to idiot Raoul. . . once again. . . I don't know if you meant it or not, but in that scene in the elevator, he didn't take off his gloves.. . .To my mind, this was the ultimate insult, that he didn't consider touching him with his flesh, but with a gloved hand. Even when preparing him, his gloves are still on. . .To Katze besides everything else, this would have made it totally impersonally. Raoul didn't want him, he just wanted 'release'. In reality though, Raoul is so dense when it comes to this, he probably didn't even realize he had his gloves on, but still. . ..
Riki is going to have his hands full. . .as the dog runs back upstairs crying for help. . .But the bigger problem is would Katze even agree to see Riki at this stage. After all, he too was involved in getting him totally screwed by Raoul.
Bet you didn't realize all the problems you caused yourself with this chapter. . rofl
Hope real life has eased up for you, because, selfish me, really can't wait to see the next chapter :)
The two Blondie idiots howling, Riki's reaction (feeling left out) and Raoul's reply opens up a whole area of questions. The main one being. . when did they do this? Has some vague memories returned to them before the first mind wipe when they were friends and then lovers. Or does this refer to a time pre Riki when they were just friends. Or even worse. . . did this take place when Riki first became Iason's pet, and Raoul not realizing, how serious the situation really was, sharing a vulgar moment with his friend over the taking of the mongrel and what happened in the bedroom. . .
I am really hoping you have the scene between Riki and Iason where this all comes out.. ..and Riki besides putting Iason in his place, makes sure the top Blondie understands that what happens in the house between them, stays in the house between them and is not something the rest of Eos (or Raoul either for that matter) has to know. I keep hearing Riki in my head screaming at Iason that if that's all he wants from him is to be a sex toy, then he will find a way of getting to Jupiter himself and volunteering for a mind wipe and be made into a mindless sex droid. .. since that seems to be what Iason wants and doesn't care how he feels - rofl. . .
As to idiot Raoul. . . once again. . . I don't know if you meant it or not, but in that scene in the elevator, he didn't take off his gloves.. . .To my mind, this was the ultimate insult, that he didn't consider touching him with his flesh, but with a gloved hand. Even when preparing him, his gloves are still on. . .To Katze besides everything else, this would have made it totally impersonally. Raoul didn't want him, he just wanted 'release'. In reality though, Raoul is so dense when it comes to this, he probably didn't even realize he had his gloves on, but still. . ..
Riki is going to have his hands full. . .as the dog runs back upstairs crying for help. . .But the bigger problem is would Katze even agree to see Riki at this stage. After all, he too was involved in getting him totally screwed by Raoul.
Bet you didn't realize all the problems you caused yourself with this chapter. . rofl
Hope real life has eased up for you, because, selfish me, really can't wait to see the next chapter :)
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October 8, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Definitively...men are...just men...stupids, arrogants, idiots to the end and to my disapoinment my dear (not so much now...) Raoul is one more of the group. In this chapter i actually undersatnt the embarrasment and the anger of Katze, afeter all, Riki it's totally right! They still are Blondies, who thinks better of themselfs over the rest of the people, even Iason who is soooooo in love with Riki. Just liky my mother says: "you can't change a man...EVER!!!!"
I'll be waiting for the next chapter, when Katze makes Raoul eat a little piece of his own treatment!
I'll be waiting for the next chapter, when Katze makes Raoul eat a little piece of his own treatment!
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October 4, 2009 at 12:00 AM
aw...don't end it there with a cliffy! I hope Katze rips a strip off both of them. By the way, he was raped. Raoul should know better. Don't mess with the redhead!!