schedule
May 19, 2012 at 12:00 AM
It's a nice pairing I hadn't previously considered, and for a while I've wanted to use the premise of "lost on a mission" as a reason for two characters to start engaging sexually (I write Call of Duty: Modern Warfare slash).
The premise of them being lost in the jungle is a bit confusing at first, because you haven't given us a reason for them being there. The series of GITS is set entirely in an urban environment, and they are a specialist cybernetic division as I recall. That's not to say they won't go into a rural environment if required, but I think you should set the scene as to why they are there. Also, I'd spend a little more time setting up their attraction to each other and build some tension.
The premise of them being lost in the jungle is a bit confusing at first, because you haven't given us a reason for them being there. The series of GITS is set entirely in an urban environment, and they are a specialist cybernetic division as I recall. That's not to say they won't go into a rural environment if required, but I think you should set the scene as to why they are there. Also, I'd spend a little more time setting up their attraction to each other and build some tension.
schedule
July 13, 2010 at 12:00 AM
awsome story and awsome pairing, however alot of bad grammer can kill any good story. I re read my own stuff several times before i post anything i also recomend getting someone else to proof read it as well before you post anything. Sometimes we dont pick up own mistakes.
As i said awsome story though, love the plot and the pairing which i never really pictured (i always pair saito with batou for some reason myself) might try and find these ghost in the shell doujins you talk about.
As i said awsome story though, love the plot and the pairing which i never really pictured (i always pair saito with batou for some reason myself) might try and find these ghost in the shell doujins you talk about.