AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for More then we expected

by Melzikun

schedule December 20, 2011 at 12:00 AM
The main thing I can say to do is break the story into paragraphs. It makes it seem a lot less overwhelming to read. If you would like I can break it up for you and then send it to you so you can resubmit it and if you want I could help by doing this to all your stories like be a beta for you I really wouldn't mind.

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