rate_review Reviews

This is really hot. You should really make a second one where it continues after this to Unova and Misty and Dawn turn Iris into another slut for Misty. Try having her walk in on Dawn and Misty during there fun time and Iris is to horny to think and falls for Misty's tricks into becoming her whore.

Holy crap that was so fucking hot.

So this is the story you mentioned? I liked it, but you keep revolving around the themes of making other girls lose themselves, almsot akin to a complete mind break. The only difference here is that Dawn (and May? I didn't notice if she gave herself over or not) willfully surrended herself. Under normal conditions she would do no such thing of course, but then the story wouldn't be that good if the situation was under normal conditions.

Though you said this story wouldn't contain futa, you still had a strap-on, which isn't exactly futa, but has the same idea. But I'm not berating you for either the almost mind break and the strap-on, as it is hard to play with new ideas unless you know exactly what you're doing. I was simply hoping for something different. You did a good job and the person who RPd with you certainly seems brillant. Have you let them know though, that you have borrowed their work and posted it? You might want to let them know that, even if they won't get upset. Might help to credit the inspration giver, the other RPer in this case. But that's just my suggestion, so whatever works for you. Good job, but this time only worth a 4.

If you keep up this pace, quality, and uncanny ability to write what I want to see, you'll be well on your way to ending up one of my favorite writers on the site. Keep it up, man.