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schedule
February 11, 2019 at 12:00 AM
please I want to see what happened next.
schedule
November 25, 2018 at 12:00 AM
Plesdr continue this stories.
schedule
March 11, 2012 at 12:00 AM
The first thing I noticed about the story was that you started the very first sentence with a number and not a letter. In all rules of grammar, this is a big no-no. It's alright to use the numbers themselves in the sentence but you never start one with them. It's always a letter you do that with.
Moving on from there, the sentence structure and way it's worded makes it feel stilted and hard to read, as though it was written for a child that is just starting to read rather than an adult. This can be easily fixed with the help of a beta to go over things for you.
After that, there are issues with punctuation. Again, a beta can most assuredly help you with such things and correct it in a way that you learn the right and wrong way to go about things until the correct usage becomes second nature.
While the plot has promise and is interesting, the issues with some things make it hard to read but it wouldn't take much to get it fixed up. Kudos!
Moving on from there, the sentence structure and way it's worded makes it feel stilted and hard to read, as though it was written for a child that is just starting to read rather than an adult. This can be easily fixed with the help of a beta to go over things for you.
After that, there are issues with punctuation. Again, a beta can most assuredly help you with such things and correct it in a way that you learn the right and wrong way to go about things until the correct usage becomes second nature.
While the plot has promise and is interesting, the issues with some things make it hard to read but it wouldn't take much to get it fixed up. Kudos!