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January 25, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Okay well first off you need a real summary. Something that makes people curious about your story. If you can't think of a good way to summarize your plot, you can use a direct quote from your story, a line or two that you find particularly catchy or intriguing.
As to the story itself, I like how you manage to show her torn between attraction and resentment; that it's possible to feel both at the same time. I'll be curious to see if she/they can resolve that.
The story as a whole is pretty dark, and Nana is giving off definite child-vibes. The combination of grim + child + sex is possibly not going to get you a whole lot of readers. That said, you manage to keep the whole thing vaguely creepy even as nothing bad happens; if you were going for that you did it masterfully.
As to the story itself, I like how you manage to show her torn between attraction and resentment; that it's possible to feel both at the same time. I'll be curious to see if she/they can resolve that.
The story as a whole is pretty dark, and Nana is giving off definite child-vibes. The combination of grim + child + sex is possibly not going to get you a whole lot of readers. That said, you manage to keep the whole thing vaguely creepy even as nothing bad happens; if you were going for that you did it masterfully.