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August 6, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Your style of writing reminds me strongly of William Faulkner. His writing seems simple at first, but the stream of consciousness way he presents everything is very unique. I enjoyed the premise of the story and rated it "5 stars." The sensuality was tangible and perfectly executed, and it made it a delicious read without seeming like a gratuitous sex scene. My only suggestion would be to develop both characters. Seras was beautifully rounded in this, but Pip was little more than a blurb. It made the sex seem a little one sided to me, (even though it really wasn't.) It's okay to develop other characters than the main. It gives the story a juicy weight to it. Great read!