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for Temptation

by Sephy

person Anonymous
schedule December 17, 2016 at 12:00 AM

Thank you for writing this. Out of all the legato knives fanfictions this is my favourite. It had disappeared from this website for a while but I'm glad its back here now.:)

person phoeyay
schedule September 22, 2013 at 12:00 AM
This is delicious! There truly needs to be more Trigun yaoi. I particularly liked the ending - it added a nice bittersweet tinge to balance some of the rather lighthearted feel of the sex scene. For my personal tastes the scene was a bit *too* lighthearted and sappy, but the ending saved it.

The one suggestion I have is regarding the bit where the two of them position themselves on the library table. I tend to try and intersperse descriptions like that with dialogue, so there isn't a long and potentially awkward description of what's been happening while the dialogue was going on. It can actually be very sexy to switch between dialogue and action, or have the character doing something while they're saying something, which can make the scene sort of come alive a bit more in the reader's mind. I think that would work really well here.

You rock! Definitely keep writing. If you write for fandoms I know, I will look forward to coming back for more!

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