Secrets

Hellsing belongs to Kohta Hirano, not to me. No copyright infringement is intended or implied.

Thank you to dasaod for beta reading.

In Dreams Alone

Seras had never asked for mental powers and sometimes she wasn\'t sure she wanted them. But Alucard wanted to teach her to master the ability to see into the mind of others, and she knew she would have to do her best. He had warned her that she wasn\'t ready to fight vampires mentally but said that she could practice her talent on humans.

\"That doesn\'t seem right,\" she had said. \"Reading people\'s minds without their permission.\"

Alucard had only laughed. \"Who cares about the petty thoughts of humans in any case?\"

Seras had reluctantly nodded and decided that though her powers might be weak she would be careful how she used them. But her master had told her to practice, so it couldn\'t be helped.

A few nights later she was passing Walter\'s bedroom, and she could easily tell with her extra senses that he was inside. She decided that she would try for a moment to see into his mind. Perhaps she would get a glimpse of the book he was reading, or some dream he was having if he was asleep. She began to reach out with her mind the way Alucard had instructed her.

Suddenly it was as if she were in Walter\'s body, feeling the sensations he was feeling and seeing and thinking his thoughts along with him. He was lying in bed, but he wasn\'t asleep; he was having some sort of daydream. The visual aspect of it was blurred, but it was clear to Seras that he was imagining that he was kissing someone.

She was embarrassed now; she had never meant to intrude on such a private moment. Seras knew that breaking contact immediately would have been the proper thing to do. But when Walter pulled back from his daydream kiss to look at his companion, she saw her own face. Walter was fantasizing about her.

This was such a shock that she didn\'t know what to do. For a moment she wondered how he dared to do this, then reflected that really it was his mind and he could do what he liked with it. It wasn\'t as if he were really treating her with disrespect. None of this was real. In fact, she told herself, she was the interloper here and should leave. In the end she felt too curious, and she stayed in his mind as his fantasy continued. He was saying sweet words into the ear of his imaginary Seras now, calling her a beautiful woman and telling her that he cared for her.

Seras couldn\'t for a moment imagine Walter really saying those things to her. But she was completely fascinated now. She asked herself how far Walter would take this. The answer became apparent when his dream self began unbuttoning the blouse of dream Seras. She watched enthralled as he removed her clothes and visualized her naked body. At least Walter had not been spying on her, she told herself. It was not an accurate picture of her naked form. But he didn\'t picture her body as flawless or exaggerated either. She really did look rather like herself, as this portrayal of her smiled and began removing the clothing of dream Walter.

Walter didn\'t picture his own body, just his hands and the sensation of running them over her skin. Seras was beyond being ashamed of herself for eavesdropping now. She was only grateful that he would never know that she was here watching all this unfold.

In the dream, nude Seras was straddling Walter. She could feel his excitement as he dreamed of her caressing his chest and then descending on his erection, taking him up inside her. Then suddenly she felt a more direct physical feeling. Walter, in reality, was touching himself.

She knew she should feel at least a little repulsed by this, but she was feeling all the physical sensation, albeit from a male point of view, and it was all intriguing and frankly sexy. Leaving was impossible now; she stood there watching the visualization of herself moving on top of Walter, his hands caressing her breasts. Meanwhile she felt everything his real hand was doing, and though she didn\'t have that organ on her body she felt herself becoming as excited as he must have been.

Walter\'s actions increased as he tried to bring himself release. He rubbed his foreskin over his tip, and Seras began to shudder from the intense feeling. Finally she saw her imaginary self laughing as Walter imagined her orgasm. At the same time, in reality, he came. She felt it as strongly as if she had been touching herself, and let herself enjoy the feeling.

She then stood for a moment, simply breathing as Walter\'s daydream dissipated and his body calmed. Remembering where she was, she started walking away. Her mind was completely confused as she tried to think about what had just happened.

She had never thought of Walter as a lover, to herself or to anyone, but now she couldn\'t help it. Even in the daydream he had been gentle and respectful. He could have made the unreal her look or act like anything, but he had only made love to her with happiness for both of them. She knew that someone else might feel disgusted that a man, especially a man Walter\'s age, was making himself come while thinking of having sex with her. But that wasn\'t the way she felt about it now. She felt curiosity and arousal.

And she also felt a certain sadness, knowing that neither of them would ever make a dream like that real. There was no way she could tell Walter that she knew his secret, and just because he had fantasies about her didn\'t mean that he wanted to be with her in reality. But the experience had been both sensual and emotional to her, and she didn\'t want to let go of the feelings it gave her. In the end she walked away and went to her bedroom and to dreams of her own.