Drievuldigheid - Drie Samen

Shuichi sat alone at the bar.

Alone. He liked that word—it was fun to say. Aloooone. Unfortunately, being fun to say was the only thing it had going for it. Being alone wasn’t fun.

Drinking, though. Drinking was the opposite of alone. There was very little entertainment to be had from saying it, but as a verb, the action of it, doing it… well, if it wasn’t amusing enough for your tastes, you just had to continue on doing it and eventually everything would seem fun.

So; Shuichi sat alone at the bar, drinking. Those two words, in the same sentence, seemed to cancel each other out. One was fun to say, depressing in action; the other- boring to say, but in action… after a long enough time period, it could be blissful.

Anyway.

What was he drinking? It didn’t matter—he’d had so many that he couldn’t remember… and if he couldn’t remember the alcohol had done what he needed it to, so it didn’t matter. Was that a paradox? Or just circular logic? Were those two options even separate… or just two descriptions of the same idea? Who knew?

Well, Hiro would. If he were here, which he wasn’t. Obviously, because then Shuichi wouldn’t be drinking at this little bar at this hour alone. Oh, he’d still be drinking and probably be at this same bar at this same time but… he wouldn’t be alone and he wouldn’t be drinking so much. Probably. Maybe. Okay, so the only difference if Hiro was here would be that he wouldn’t be alone. Which, to be fair, is a very large difference. But Hiro wasn’t here. Hiro was with his precious
Ayaka-chan; sweet, kind, compassionate Ayaka who was caring and generous enough to monopolize Hiro’s free time completely.

Shuichi knew he was being callous: they were in love, and they deserved to see each other as often as they could. But he was also bitter, the loss of his own lover still stinging. And why shouldn’t it? It had only been a few weeks. At least, only a few weeks since their official break up. For months before then they’d been having problems, as per usual. But as Shuichi watched Hiro and Ayaka, so
happy together, and began to grow more aware of the people and situations around him, he began to realize how unhealthy his relationship was with Yuki. It wasn’t exactly abusive, but nothing that caused more harm than it helped could be good for anyone. Yuki had come a long way, but gradually they settled into a pattern that left his ex-lover unreceptive to his needs, and him too ready to let
Yuki have anything he liked. Even Hiro was hinting that he needed to break it off when he eventually stopped crying over Yuki’s injustices towards him. And so, a little over three weeks ago he had finally told Yuki they had to split, and moved into the apartment he had managed to rent only a few blocks from NG Studio. Yuki hadn’t seemed to upset, hadn’t even bothered to hint he was adverse to the suggestion. The separation was amicable, and although he couldn’t say he still saw Yuki, the situation had been such that it would not be awkward if he ever did again.

Now, despite how mutual the split was, BAD LUCK’s singer couldn’t deny he hadn’t been a little broken-hearted for a while afterwards. However, something occurred only three days after he moved out that gave him food for thought that was more than enough to distract him from his loneliness.

~FLASHBACK~

Trudging towards NG with a sigh, he felt and heard more than saw the doors open before him as he entered the building. Three days. Only three days since he had left Yuki. Oddly enough, what was bothering him wasn't that he was separated from Yuki, but rather that he wasn't bothered by being alone. He missed the company, of course; found himself listening for the sounds of a keyboard being typed on, or soft footsteps trying to walk from room to room without arousing his notice and very loud attention. But these things he missed out of habit. He didn't long to see Yuki or kiss him, any more than he longed for anyone to kiss and hold. So what had all those long months meant? Wasted time? Shuichi refused to believe that. At the very least, it had taught him what it felt like to be in a relationship where you had to work for every compromise. After dealing with Yuki, anyone else he might become involved with would seem simple. Surely nobody else could be so difficult.

Looking up, Shuichi realized his feet had carried him all the way to BAD LUCK's studio. Heaving another sigh, he opened the door to let himself in, bracing himself for gunshots from K or wailing from Sakano. Blinking in surprise when no catastrophe met his late arrival, he saw that there were two other people in the room that shouldn't have been, and it was they who accounted for the lack of drama over his entry.

Tohma was leaning back against a wall talking to Suguru, the only member from his band that was actually in their studio. Ryuichi stood next to Tohma, happily munching on Kumagoro's ear. None of the occupants noticed his arrival, and he stood quietly as he overheard their conversation. After all, it was his studio right? And he was right there in the doorway, so it didn't count as eavesdropping.

Having appeased his conscience, he crept a bit closer, hearing Suguru's next words.

"Why can't you come to the wedding Seguchi-san? It is a family enagement." He appeared confused as to why his perfect cousin would be absent from something duty demanded he attend. Shuichi, however, was confused as to why they were discussing this.

"Because, Fujisaki-kun, I have the last court meeting with Mika that afternoon." Suguru looked lost, clueless as to why they'd be going to court at all. Shuichi felt his curiosity peaking. Ryuichi continued to chew at Kumagoro, his only sign of any impatience being the rocking from foot to foot. Being Ryuichi, this could have meant anything from impatience to boredom to having to go to the bathroom. Nobody took any notice.

Suguru finally asked the major question on Shuichi's mind. "Why do you have to go to court with Mika-san?"

Tohma looked surprised at the question, but before he could answer, Ryuichi burst into the conversation, several decibels louder than the other two had been. "To~ohma! You're such a meanie! You didn't tell poor Suguru-kun about your divorce? You told everyone else!"

This surprising statement left both Suguru and Shuichi speechless. Not that it mattered for Shuichi-- nobody knew he was there yet, after all. However, Suguru, in full view of both Tohma and Ryuichi, proceeded to gape for a good minute or two.

Just as he appeared to be returning to sanity,Tohma interrupted before he could speak. "As Ryuichi just blurted out to you...Quite rudely," He muttered under his breath at his grinning singer, "Mika and I are getting divorced. I'm sorry you hadn't been informed. I'd notified the rest of the family a couple of months ago and assumed you had heard. But, that is why I'll be absent from our dear cousin's wedding."

Suguru knew he shouldn't let his curiosity overcome his manners, but he found himself caring less about what Tohma thought of him and more about why, after years of marriage, his cousin was divorcing his wife. "Demo, Seguchi-san... Why? I thought you and Mika-san got along well?" There. That was phrased politely enough.

"Mika-san and I have never had any problem with getting along, no. However, a few months ago she discovered she was pregnant, and, not wishing to have her child born into a family where the husband was not it's father, she asked for a divorce. I understood her reasons, of course, and we parted cordially." Tohma didn't seem to find anything strange about this explanation. Or perhaps he was just accustomed to pretending everything was normal. Ryuichi watched Tohma and Suguru alternately, giggling as Suguru gave varying strange facial expressions in response to Tohma's speech.

Finally, he'd found his tongue again and any pretenses at politeness flew out the window Tohma was standing next to as he fired off questions as he wondered about them. "Wait, why is she pregnant with another man's child? She was having an affair? Why aren't you insulted? And what are you going to do about the press?" Leave it to Suguru to think about the media. He definitely was related to Tohma.

"Mika-san and I have had an open relationship since the first days of our marriage. We never thought of each other that way, and agreed that we shouldn't be miserable because of an arranged union. The press will be told of our divorce, and the birth of her child will be viewed as totally seperate within seven months' time." Tohma delivered this information with a calm, collected smile. Ryuichi had gone to staring out the window; obviously, none of this was news to him. Suguru sat quietly, processing these revelations with more maturity than he had shown in the conversation so far. Over by the door, Shuichi was quietly going insane.

'He's not married. He's had affairs with other people outside his wife. He's been free to sleep with whomever he likes for basically forever!' The little fanboy in his head was ranting... secretly, for years, he'd fantasized about Ryuichi and Tohma having a relationship. There was the fanservice of course, not to mention the fact that the overtly sexy and covertly (at least onstage) immature singer of Nittle Grasper would look perfect paired with the classically beautiful and frighteningly controlled blond keyboardist of the same band. Oh yes, the fanboy was very happy. But quietly, in the back of his mind, he heard himself give a happy little thought to Tohma's availability.

Having realized he'd just thought that, Shuichi promptly fell over, announcing his presence to the three other people in the room. He curled up in a chibi-sized ball, wailing at himself to not think that way about Tohma. He was a fan, sure, but this was his boss, member of a rival band, a man twice his age, and someone who quite frequently scared him. Yes, he was as gorgeous as Ryuichi in his own way, and don't get him started on Sakuma-san, but... Seguchi Tohma!? Oh, and the man who had tried very hard to keep him from Yuki!

'And you saw how well that worked out in spite of his interference!' Sniped the little voice in the back of his head. A different little voice this time, which began to concern Shuichi a little. And so, barely half a second after he'd fallen to the floor, all these thoughts had fled through his mind leaving behind the desperate question he blurted out to his three audience members.

"Is it okay to have more than one little voice in your head?" Suguru and Tohma simply looked at him, as Ryuichi propelled himself across the room to land a flying tackle flat on top of Shuichi.

"Yes, Shu-chan, it's perfectly fine to hear little voices! Kuma-chan and I hear them all the time, no da!" Ryuichi didn't see how this wouldn't reassure someone, and so said it as if it were the only possible answer to the nonsense question. Shuichi, who would normally have profusely thanked his idol for helping him with yet another of his problems, was too busy trying not to blush as he lay pinned beneath the body of the man he had only moments ago envisioned with Tohma.

His little voice, the first one, decided to pipe up again, with the oh-so-helpful comment of how this was a very good situation and Shuichi should be happy. His body listened to the little voice, apparently, and Shuichi had to shove Ryuichi off of him in a hurry before he responded too strongly to hide.

Ryuichi had a problem with being thrown halfway across the room by his living chair, and began to pout at Shuichi. "Shu-chan? Why do you hate mee~ee? Please don't be mad at me!" His eyes had teared up and he looked prepared to start bawling.

"Gomen nasai, Sakuma-san! I don't hate you, I could never hate you! You just startled me, is all!" Hoping Ryuichi would buy his explanation for his strange behavior (after all, he'd never thrown him off before) and wouldn't question him further, Shuichi scratched his head sheepishly as he smiled apologetically.

"Mou, Shu-chan! Don't call me Sakuma-san! I'm not old!" He continued to rant about his age and Shuichi's cruelty towards him and how that meant he must hate him, before Shuichi had to interrupt mid-rant.

"Gomen, Ryuichi-san! I just keep forgetting! I won't do it again!" Dearly hoping the other singer would forgive him, Shuichi babbled this out in a half-second space where Ryuichi had to take a breath.

"Yay! Kuma-chan, Shu-chan doesn't hate us!" Gleeful over this new development, Ryuichi glomped Shuichi again, resulting in a deja vu experience for the younger as he was once again on his back with his idol straddling him.

'No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts!' Having successfully clubbed the little voices into silence, Shuichi was yanked to his feet by the older singer who dragged him over to the two cousins who'd been watching the loud spectacle silently.

"Ne, Tohma, can I watch Shuichi sing today? Please?" It appeared even Tohma was not immune to the begging eyes of his singer as Ryuichi stared at him from inches away. This scene, however, with the two men close enough to kiss, was not helping Shuichi's fantasies any. Stray thoughts kept running through his head about how he'd like to see them make out... or see them naked.

Oh shit. Nosebleed time. He really should have known that'd happen. And really, it couldn't have been worse. Now Tohma was watching him curiously, as Suguru muttered about loud singers who were more trouble than they were worth, and Ryuichi pitched a hissy fit about how he was going to die from blood loss.

Die from blood loss?

"Can you die from a nosebleed?" Having put the idea into Shuichi's head, Ryuichi promptly began to assure him it was impossible... right Tohma?

"No, Shindou-san, you will not die from your nosebleed, especially seeing as how it's unfounded. And yes, Ryuichi-san, you may accompany Shindou-san in his studio today, providing you are not to much of a distraction and don't cause any problems."

Ryuichi's celebration at gaining permission, combined with being assured Shu-chan wasn't going to end up dead, meant that he was extremely loud, and he and Kuma rambled about ice cream and karaoke. Shuichi wasn't sure how they'd do karaoke and have ice cream in the studio, but it sounded fun all the same.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Later that day, Shuichi had been forced to admit to himself that any fanboy obsession he'd had with Ryuichi and Tohma, whether individually or as a couple, had more than reignited. Every time Ryuichi talked to him he watched his mouth, and every time Tohma's name was mentioned, he'd blush. It was getting rather embarrassing. Suguru, K, and Sakano had yet to notice anything in particular, other than that he was unusually jumpy and hyper-active today, but Hiro was shooting him looks that promised a talk and he'd caught Ryuichi watching him with the strangest look on his face three times already. He almost looked... contemplative. Of what, Shuichi didn't know. But it sure had to be something, because he'd been quieter all day, ever since that morning when Shuichi had blushed when Tohma had bid him goodbye. Quietly, Shuichi prayed Ryuichi didn't suspect anything. For Tohma to find out his infatuation had kicked in again would be embarrassing. Furthermore, if Ryuichi learned about that, what would keep him from realizing Shuichi's adoration for him? And that would be as bad as Tohma finding out. Not for the first time, Shuichi wished he was a better actor.

~END FLASHBACK~

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Shuichi looked up from his contemplation of the drink where it sat on the bar as a new person stepped up to try their hand at karaoke. Normally, this bar didn't host karaoke, but this was a special occasion. They'd needed something to draw more patrons, and so hosted this one night where the usually quiet, secluded bar would allow a singing competition to take place on a makeshift stage in the corner. Their ploy had worked, as Shuichi saw. There were twice as many people as usual in the two small rooms that made up the establishment. Unfortunately, none of the singers had been very good so far. There were one or two that didn't kill his ears, but most were... vocally challenged. The bar owners, who knew who he was because he came here often, had tried to convince him to sing a song or two at the beginning of the evening, but were kind enough to let the matter go when he expressed a wish to be by himself. And so, the music the people at the bar were being entertained with were usually bad renditions of songs that had been less than great with their original singers. Absently, Shuichi wondered, if three lefts make a right, whether three bad alterations to a song would make it good. Let's see: The bad karaoke singer could be the first left; the song bad with the original singer would make the second... so what could be the third? Perhaps... yes! That was it. It would take a bad original song, a remake of the original, done badly, and then someone singing the newer version badly. That would be three lefts! But... knowing his luck, that would just make the song so unbelievably horrible it was impossible to listen to without bursting your eardrums. So that plan was a no-go.

Shuichi was broken out of his thoughts about horrible songs with the entry of a new person. A person who was in the top three of people he did not want to see. Yuki, of course, would have to be number one. He didn't want to encounter him for the first time since their break-up when he was totally drunk. The other two... well, he'd managed to avoid them at work fairly well, which was good considering how confused he was. And how badly his hormones acted up whenever he saw one of them. He shouldn't be thinking about someone in that way so soon after breaking up with the man he thought he loved, should he? But every time he saw one of them, his body was more than happy to ignore his mind's commands about propriety, and react to the prescence of either Tohma or Ryuichi.

And so, there were three people he didn't want to see, and one of them had just walked in at the most inopportune of moments. He knew very well that most of his inhibitions vanished when he was drunk, and boy, was he drunk right now. But, luck seemed to be on his side for once, because as soon as Tohma walked in, he turned towards the karaoke stage...exactly away from Shuichi. Realizing he just possibly had a chance to sneak out the door--providing Tohma didn't turn around too quickly-- Shuichi measured the distance and decided to make a dash for it. Leaving more than enough money on the bar, he got up and ran towards the door. Or he tried to. He got about two steps, and then a strange feeling of vertigo kicked in and he fell towards the floor. The odd knowledge ran through his mind that he was drunk, and then he was laying on the floor and moaning at the people around him.

Tohma was leaning over him suddenly, looking down at him. "Shindou-san, are you alright? You look a bit ill."

Shuichi mumbled something incoherent.

"I did not understand what you just said, Shindou-san. Tell me, how much have you had to drink?" He had kneeled next to him on the floor and was checking his pupils. Shuichi, his vision filled with one of the men he'd found himself fantasizing about, did the only thing conceivable to him in his drunken state. He reached up and latched onto Tohma, his arms locking around his neck.

Tohma, looking surprised, reached up and tried to untangle Shuichi's arms from his neck. "Shindou-san, you're acting very oddly. I think you've had enough to drink for this evening. You need to go home." He stood, bringing the young singer still attached to his neck to his feet as well. Or, somewhat to his feet. Tohma was left staggering under the weight of someone who seemed to have forgotten they had feet. Or even legs, for that matter.

Shuichi, none too happy with this new development in his position--who wanted to be standing, anyway? The floor was so comfortable!-- grumbled and pulled away to look blearily at Tohma. Unfortunately, this left him about three inches away from the mouth of a person he very desperately wanted to kiss.

As he started to lean towards him, Tohma pulled him over to a chair which he haphazardly was placed in. This put him a much further distance from the keyboardist, and he whined at him for it. "Tohma...", He muttered some other unintelligible things, with the words pretty and something about kissing dispersed throughout. He was too busy complaining about being seperated from him to notice that he'd just called his boss, who, as far as he knew, didn't like him very much, by his first name, without any form of honorific. If he'd been less blitzed he would have whacked himself for signing his career's death warrant. As it was, he had no problem with referring to Tohma very familiarly and while the room had stopped spinning, he didn't feel sober enough to stand up and stop mooning at the blond-haired man.

"Wha...?" Shuichi had just realized that Tohma had been talking to him. From the look on his face, he'd apparently asked a question and had been waiting for an answer for quite a while. How long, Shuichi had no idea.

"I asked, Shuichi-kun, where you live. You need to go home and get some rest. You'll have a bad hangover tomorrow morning as it is." Tohma said this with an air of patience that leant itself from dealing with Ryuichi for years.

Thinking hard, Shuichi grasped at straws to remember his address... and then realized that he had no idea whether it really was his, after all. "Ne, Tohma, what would you do if I told you I don't remember where I live now?" Shuichi found himself giggling at this piece of knowledge, though he didn't know why. Absently, he wondered why he was so cheerful as opposed to moments ago when he'd been antisocial and nearly depressed, and shrugged, chalking it as yet another wonder of the alcohol he'd consumed.

Wait...

Had Tohma just called him Shuichi-kun? Where had that come from?

"I would say, Shuichi-kun, that you've had more to drink than I thought and you need to lie down somewhere very soon. Especially before you decide to become sick." Tohma was frowning at him, looking decidedly too grumpy for how Shuichi felt.

"Tohma! You should be more cheerful! If you keep frowning all the time, you'll get wrinkles!" This little bit of advice was spouted between bursts of giggles. He had no idea, really, what was so funny, except that he was happy Tohma was still talking to him... not yelling or threatening, but for once talking!

"We're going to try to find a hotel for you to sleep in tonight. I'm going to get you out to my car, but I need you to try to stand up and walk, okay, Shuichi-kun?" Tohma seemed less upset than he had a moment ago. Indeed, small twitches at the corners of his mouth hinted he might even find Shuichi humorous in this state.

Shuichi tottered to his feet, and was about to fall forward when one of Tohma's arms slid around his waist and he leaned back against the keyboardist. Walking slowly, Tohma led him outside, managing to maneuver him into the black car Tohma had driven to the bar before going around the other side to get in himself.

Wait... driven to the bar? What was Seguchi Tohma doing at a bar like this?

As he looked over at him as he closed the door, Shuichi realized he'd said that out loud. Blushing from the older man's scrutiny-- though he didn't know whether it was because he was embarrassed he'd said it or because he was in the same car, only a few feet away from the man he'd been thinking about all evening and still wanted to kiss-- Shuichi ducked his head and stared at his lap.

"I came to this bar to drink, Shuichi-kun. Isn't that why someone would usually go to a bar?" It took him a moment to realize that was the answer to his question. Then, it took another moment to remember what his question had been.

"Gomen, Tohma-san, you didn't get to drink because of me! I'm sorry I'm such a bother!" This time he'd remembered an honorific that wasn't too familiar, but he couldn't for the life of him remember what he was supposed to be calling him. Tohma was Tohma.

"I had a few drinks at a restaurant before coming here. It is probably for the best that I didn't have much more. I don't wish to be driving too intoxicated, of course, and I've had enough to drink I can feel a few of the effects." His answer was calm with a hint of a smile in his voice. Amused with Shuichi again?

Turning to face him in his seat and leaning closer, Shuichi's voice dropped to a husk. "What effects?"

Tohma was watching him out of the corner of his eye, not answering.

"What effects?" Shuichi asked again, reaching over to slide his hand down Tohma's shoulder and arm.

He looked to be debating what to say to the passenger in his car who was making it more and more obvious that he was interested in something from him. Clearing his throat, he finally answered, having decided that making Shuichi ask again might lead to actions that... were less than appropriate in a car. "I feel less tense."

Blinking, Tohma jerked his eyes from the young singer. When he'd thought about anything happening between him and Shuichi, he should have thought how inappropriate it was for them to do anything, not how inappropriate it was to do such things in a car. The former left options open to him once they arrived at a hotel. Which, Tohma realized, was a problem. No hotel would take an obviously drunk famous rockstar dropped off in the early hours of morning by his boss. Even should one do it-- highly unlikely as it was-- the rumors that would spread would be very, very bad for them. And very, very hard to suppress. So, Tohma was left with two options. Drop Shuichi at NG Studios and hope he didn't manage to kill himself overnight--hadn't there been many superstars who'd drowned in pools of their own vomit?-- or take him to his house. As it would be seriously troublesome for BAD LUCK if their singer asphyxiated in throw-up, the second was really the only viable option.

Shuichi was still watching Tohma raptly, his hands smoothing over the steering wheel as his eyes showed he was deep inthought. So deeply engrossed in Tohma-studying was Shuichi that he jumped when Tohma sighed and started speaking.

"Shuichi-kun, you'll have to come stay with me at my house. It would be to your serious disadvantage for you to be seen drunk in a public hotel. Also, I think you'll probably need some help in the morning with your hangover." Shuichi internally rejoiced at the prospect of staying with Tohma--at his house!-- but was still mostly occupied with the thought of what Tohma said the effects of the alcohol were.

"So... less tense means more relaxed, right?" The question was obviously hypothetical as he once again shifted closer-- about a foot and a half from the other's lap, in fact-- and purred his question into his ear. "What do you do when you're... relaxed?"

Tohma's eyebrows rose sharply, and Shuichi had to hold in a giggle at the collected man's reaction. He had sobered up slightly in the car, where they'd been for over twenty minutes now, and he had gained enough of his mind back from impairment that he knew perfectly well what he was doing. He was still without inhibitions, and so didn't care why he shouldn't do it, but knew nonetheless what he was doing and why it could be a very good or a very bad idea. It all depended on Tohma's reaction, after all. And since he had yet to shove Shuichi off of him, it looked promising.

"Shuichi, what do you think you're doing?" Tohma knew perfecly well what he was doing, and even suspected why. After all, nobody starts avoiding someone religiously after a break up, especially people they saw almost every day, like him and Ryuichi, unless said person had something they didn't want the person they were avoiding to know. Shuichi's advances made it very clear what it was he hadn't wanted them to know. Apparently, being involved with Eiri-san had given him some modicum of restraint, but now, under the influence of alcohol and loneliness, he had no objections to letting one of the people know his interest. Unfortunately, it was under impaired judgement. Tohma hoped to surprise Shuichi to a semblance of normalcy by calling him by something he normally would not, but it seemed to have only encouraged him. He had moved even closer, and the only thing keeping him from the driver's lap was the seatbelt he had his full weight leaned against. Tohma decided that perhaps he should try to distance himself again, see if the young man could be discouraged; he was now giggling slightly as he tried to press against Tohma. Shuichi knew that Tohma understood perfectly well what he wanted; and, so far still, had yet to push him off.

"Shindou-san, I think you should sit back in your seat." This sentence didn't have the effect he'd hoped. Shuichi didn't sit back... he did just the opposite. His other arm came up around Tohma, and he'd managed to snuggle himself into his side, one arm draped over his shoulders between him and the back of the seat, and the otherwrapping underneath his arms to go around his chest. Letting out a contented purr, Shuichi whispered something against Tohma's ear that he thankfully missed, as he was too busy pulling into the driveway to his house. Shutting off the car and disentangling himself from the limbs wrapped around him, Tohma climbed out to the sounds of whining about his movement.

As he walked around to the other side of the car, he had to remind himself that sleeping with Shuichi would be a very bad idea. When he couldn't exactly remember why, he decided he'd had too much to drink himself and having the other drunk here was one of the worst ideas he'd had in years. Having settled with himself that it was a bad idea and with too much more prompting he'd do it anyway, he reached into the passenger car door to help the younger man to his feet. Surprisingly, he wasn't unstable anymore. He followed Tohma to the door, but as he stopped in front to unlock arms snaked around him again.

Shuichi knew he was being touchy-feely. He couldn't help it! Tohma was so warm, and he was beginning to feel really, really horny. And since Tohma still hadn't pushed him off to do anything more than was absolutely necessary, he hoped he was close to getting his way and getting his blond obsession to screw him. But as soon as they were inside he was pressed firmly to a couch and told to stay put. He watched as Tohma left the room, and began to feel more nervous. What did he think he was doing? Why would Tohma want him? He was in the house, drunk, with a mostly sober, much older man who'd never shown him more affection than to tell him that what he did to him was cruel but for his own good. But, damn those hormones... he still couldn't convince himself to apologize for his actions and go home. Well... he still didn't remember where home was, but he could've gone to Hiro's! But, unfortunately, he began to think he wasn't quite pissed enough to continue coming on to Tohma. So, he figured, awkwardness would be the situation for the rest of the night.

Tohma walked back into the room where he'd left Shuichi to see him still sitting on the couch as told, appearing to be deep in thought. He handed the boy the aspirin and coffee he'd gone to retrieve, and sat down next to him. Seeing as how Shuichi had seemed to be calmer than in the car, Tohma was surprised when he had a lapful of a person who was warm, and apparently squirmed a lot. Reflexively, he reached up to help settle the smaller body atop his own, and was pleased to see that movement stopped after a few more adjustments.

Shuichi hadn't meant to end up in his lap, he really hadn't. But, he was here now, and really, it was quite comfortable. Wondering if Tohma was humoring his weird behavior because he'd been drinking, Shuichi decided to get drunk much more often. The keyboardist's hands petted up and down his back, seemingly from habit because he didn't think Tohma realized he was doing it. Still, it lulled him, and he cuddled close after taking the pills Tohma had given him. He didn't drink the coffee, but set it down on the table in front of the couch.

They had been sitting on the couch for a good ten minutes, Tohma wondering whether the body curled up on his was sleeping, when he felt hands sliding through his hair, and light puffs of breath against his ear. Sighing, he realized Shuichi had yet to give up his goal. Sighing again, he realized he himself had given up his. He no longer had any aversion to sleeping with the young rockstar-- but he wouldn't if he wasn't fully aware of what he was doing.

"Shuichi, why are you doing this?" Shuichi barely realized the question. He was too busy trying to figure out where would be the best place on Tohma's neck to try to leave a lovebite. When the hands that had been petting him pulled him away and forced him to look at who he was sitting on, he would've been seriously perturbed. However, the adjustment meant he was that close to being able to kiss Tohma. He leaned forward again, and was again prevented from his goal. He groaned low in his throat at his captor, who, for the first time Shuichi had ever seen, smiled at him with real amusement. He perked up at the sight of the smile, and giggled back.

Tohma doubted Shuichi had even comprehended that he'd been asked a question; he looked to gleeful, sitting there only a few inches away from Tohma's face and giggling again. Tohma desperately wanted to kiss him. "Shuichi! Why are you doing this?"

At last, Shuichi took notice that he needed to answer Tohma. "'Cause I want to!" This being a perfectly good answer from where he was coming from, he tried to kiss Tohma again. And, for the third time that evening, he was prevented. This was getting irritating.

Trying not to laugh at the simple answer and frustrated look on the singer's face, Tohma phrased another question. "Why do you want to do this? Why have you been trying to kiss me, especially after you've been avoiding Ryuichi and I for weeks?" That should get an answer from him, Tohma decided.

Frowning, Shuichi puzzled it out. Why had he avoided Tohma? "Oh! I avoided you 'cause it was embarrassing to have to see someone I'd decided I liked again even though I'd just gotten out of a relationship, and I kept thinking really really bad things that I wasn't supposed to but I couldn't stop and then you showed up tonight and you're less 'grrrr' than you usually are and I still can't kiss you because you won't let me!" All this was said in one breath with a gasp at the end for oxygen.

Tohma sat quietly and tried to puzzle that sentence out. With a few pauses here and there, it might have made sense. Unfortunately for logic, Tohma didn't have a chance to fully process what Shuichi had blurted, because said singer took advantage of his preoccupation to lean forward and press their lips together.

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AN:
Okay, so this looks very long when it's uploaded in one part. On Gurabiteshiyon it's in three parts, and much more manageable. :P

So, I'd like reviews, please. And I'm looking for a beta desperately, so help is much appreciated. The next chapter has a lemon and the morning after. Then, Chapter Three gets into the relationship. I don't write smut without plot, and this story started out as ideas for sex, so I have to throw in several relationships. I have no idea where it's gonna go beyond that, unfortunately. Expect the next Chapter later tonight. And please, feel free to email me at idwyt_nome(at)yahoo(dot)com. I like talking to people.

Last note: First person who gets the meaning of the title and what language it's in will get a prize. Also, the meaning of the title is a hint as to what will happen later :D

If you want to read the full AN for each section, go to gurabiteshiyon where I'm under the same name. They're at the end of each chapter!