Neurosis

Neurosis By: Aelia Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. Summary: L didn't always have such peculiar habits. What gave him such strange tendencies? And why does Light bring back so many memories? Chapter 1: Recollection ** Light shifted in his sleep, the chains of his handcuffs causing a slightly amusing tinkling sound, loud enough to wake L, chained only several feet away. Luckily, L was already awake. L was plugged into his computer as usual, hunched over with his thumb to his lips. He cast a sidelong glance at the brunette, noting the long bangs falling in his closed eyes. Light's t-shirt was bunched up at the waist, revealing a white strip of flesh above the blanket thrown over his hips. The case files lighting up his computer screen were things he's pored over for weeks already, trying to pin down any other possible suspects in the Kira case. Light was Kira. There was no denying this fact, yet L had no proof. And, frankly, L grasping at straws to prove himself wrong, that Light wasn't Kira. Light moved again, mumbling something incoherent under his breath. L jerked his head up, watching curiously. Light muttered again, possibly "Mother," or "Misa," or "Moment." L briefly straightened his back, hearing the grotesque sound of it crack. Once Light settled down again, he allowed himself to look over the boy once again... ... "What are you afraid of?" L looked fearfully at the closed door. "Someone walking in." "Why?" Caramel eyes met his own inky black ones. "There's no reason for anyone to come in here." A momentary pause. "Or will you get in trouble?" L mentally scanned the Wammy House rules. They weren't strict, and things like this weren't specifically forbidden. "No, I don't believe so." This seemed to be all the permission needed. He felt slender fingers on his neck, and soft lips on his, and he gasped like a fish out of water and pulled away. "Please, wait!" He searched for another excuse. Truthfully, he had no good reason, but his fear and nervousness prevented him from going any further. They'd kissed, and touched, and for the time that was enough. "Hmm?" "I have to be up early, I have work to do." "You're the youngest, and smartest student in University! That can't wait three hours while you sleep in a little?" "I have to practice for my tennis match." "Stop with the excuses!" A deep breath. "Tell me the truth." L turned scarlet as he confessed. "I'm afraid of this...intimacy." Fearing any sound of indignation, he pushed forward. "I'm not afraid of you, but..." He struggled to phrase it properly. "I haven't exactly been well-loved as a child," he added, with slight bitterness. "I owe everything to Watari, but..." He felt hands in his hair. "Do you want me to leave tonight?" Warm breath in his ear both tickled and sent an unfamiliar shiver down his spine. L could only answer truthfully. "No." ... L snapped awake. He was unsure of what woke him, so he stole a sidelong glance at Light, still sleeping soundly in a tangle of bedsheets. He allowed his head to fall back and he rolled his shoulders, easing the tension built up by sleeping in such an awkward position. Rifling through the drawers of his desk, L procured a package of wrapped snack cupcakes, delicately ripping open the wrapper and raising one to his lips. In bed, Light exhaled dreamily, and L felt a wild rush of tenderness towards the man. It wouldn't do for him to have a weakness for the enemy, and L stuffed a large bite of cupcake in his mouth to sweeten his bitter thoughts. His fingers dug into the soft mess of icing and cake and he imagined caressing sweet flesh. He allowed his eyes to roam Light once more as he finished his cake, softly licking a dollop of frosting off his finger. L turned to his laptop once more, determined to read these case files, but the letters instead pooled and swam before his eyes... ... L sat at a table alone in the student cafŽ, flipping through stacks of heavy books. His tea had long gone cold, but he was too involved in his research to care. Around him, the sounds of loud, happy university students echoed, serving as a lonely reminder. Rather then allow himself the comfort of melancholy, he pushed himself forwards, pinching his pen tightly between his fingers. He scribbled more notes, flipping the pages in his notebook. "Shit!" A loud crash startled L out of his concentration. "I'm sorry, can I just lay my cup down here?" L nodded and watched the figure crouch down to collect the pile of books that had fallen out of overfilled arms. He realized he should help, and reached down to scoop up some of the volumes and pass them off. He didn't notice the titles of most of them but one caught his eye. "Lolita?" he asked curiously. "You're reading Nabokov?" Before he could stop himself, he rushed on. "I just finished it last night." A musical laugh echoed from the head of dark brown hair crouched on the floor, still stuffing things in a bookbag. "Yeah, for my Psychology and Literature class." "You're taking Psych and Lit?" L asked, shifting the books to a free area on the table. Getting a good look, L had a start of recognition. "I remember you, you sit on the left." "And I remember you, smartest in the class, top on all exams." L smiled humbly. Before he realized what he was doing, he'd shifted some of his own books around, making room at the table. "If you're not heading anywhere right away, do you want to sit down?" A smile played around rose-colored lips. "I'd like that, very much." L pulled out the chair and passed over the abandoned teacup. "I'm sorry," L said after a moment, "I don't believe I caught your name." ... This time, Light was the one to awaken. It was early morning, and sunlight was beginning to flood into the room. He stretched and turned his head, and discovered L sitting in his same chair, asleep. How that could be comfortable, Light didn't know. L wasn't exactly curled up, but his legs were folded so he was jackknifed closer to himself, knees against his chest and his head slumped against his chest. Despite his contempt for the older man, Light felt a slight swell of compassion. He stood up quietly, and went to go close the lid of L's laptop. He brushed L's shoulder lightly, and L shifted, mumbling in his sleep. "Helena." Light paused, confused. And then L said it again. "Helena." $^$^$^$^$^$^$^$ Author's Note: I know this is a little teaser, but I want to see how people respond to this before I get any further. It might not be entirely canonical, and for that I apologize in advance. Read and review? Flames welcome.