Red Roses for Your Lover
folder
Hellsing › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
14
Views:
6,917
Reviews:
19
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Hellsing › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
14
Views:
6,917
Reviews:
19
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Hellsing, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Graduation
A break in the routine didn’t come for several more days. Seras used the time to get as much practice in as she could with her telepathy. She was getting more familiar with Doc’s mind than she ever wanted to be. It was reptilian and completely without empathy. She continued to be frustrated by Captain Günsche. He was as unreadable inside as out. It was like trying to slide through an opaque glass wall, but she found she could still learn from the enigmatic captain; he was her unknowing tutor in how to shield her mind. Seras was exploring the range limitations of what she could do and was surprised that there were none within the ship that she could find.
Her greatest limitations were in getting through the Captain’s walls and past the pain that was Walter’s mindscape. Seras wanted to be able to read Walter better, both as a matter of self-preservation and because she still held out a weak hope that he was redeemable. Walter was unwittingly helping her with tolerating the pain of his mind with his daily lessons to her in redefining pain and pleasure. The Seras Victoria she had been before Millennium and before Walter’s tender mercies would never have been able to withstand even the moments within his mind that Seras could now endure.
Those moments were confusing to her. It seemed that there was more than one Walter in there. The dominant Walter was the one she slept with every day; the other Walter was like an echo of Hellsing’s trash man. Seras racked her brain for a way to bolster the older persona, but even the old Walter was more bloodthirsty than Seras had known. He wasn’t as averse to his new freedoms as she would have thought. When she thought back to the first time she had touched Walter’s dreams, she realized his dream had been a true memory, not one colored by his new lack of moral restraint. Walter the butler was a more complicated man than she had ever imagined.
•••
Another night, another series of painful and degrading tests at Doc’s hands. Seras sat quietly in the chair where Captain Günsche had placed her and watched the two men. Doc’s attention was divided between his computer screen and the notes he was taking. The Captain’s attention was seemingly completely on her. When she turned away from Doc, she saw the tall man watching her as he always did. Seras and her silent captor stared unspeaking into each other’s eyes.
Do you ever talk, Hans? Are you in there? She hadn’t meant to, but she had projected her question to him. She felt, rather than saw, his attention sharpen.
Seras flinched. She didn’t want to reveal this part of herself to Millennium. It chilled her to consider what they might do to her if they thought she had an ability they couldn’t easily control. At least her slipup had been with the Millennium member least likely or able to tell anyone else about it.
She thought hard about the chances she could take with the Captain. She had never seen him communicate in anything other than the most minimal of nods or headshakes. Nobody else seemed to expect anything more of him. She had reached something of a dead end with the work she’d done with her new abilities. It just wasn’t enough to help her escape. Learning more from and about Captain Günsche might give her more ammunition for her fight to escape. She thought about her nights with Doc and her days with Walter and decided that she had to take more risks or she would die having made no more progress.
Hans? Can you hear me? Seras held herself completely still, fearing that at any moment he was going to speak aloud and tell the Doc to lobotomize her for their safety. His head moved a fraction in a barely perceptible nod. Are you going to tell on me? An almost subliminal headshake.
Now Seras was stuck. She had never expected this and didn’t know where to go. It won’t do me any good to ask you to help me get away, will it? She got the feeling of a smile that never touched his face, and he gave her another virtually invisible negation. Why…why are you with these people? You aren’t like them, are you?
The glass wall between her and the Captain came down for a moment and Seras was given a view that no one in a generation had seen: he threw memories at her the way she had plunged hers into the sleeping vampire, the onslaught was fierce – images of the Captain wading through battle; of the man saluting in the midst of thousands of other men, all cheering their leader; of the Major sharing with him the secret of war and eternity; of a young Walter killing people Hans knew and cared about, and laughing; of a dark young woman holding her arms out to him; of that same young woman with half of her head gone, bleeding out in the snow; and of the Captain, watching himself in the mirror as the trademark impassivity settled over his face like a curtain. The wall came back up and Seras watched him through a bloody haze until she was able to blink back her tears. There didn’t seem to be any more to say after those revelations. “I’m sorry.”
•••
“Fräulein, how nice of you to join us again.”
Seras was clinging to Walter, attempting to look like she was standing on her own, while the Major smiled cordially at her from his seat above the control room of the blimp. She shifted her gaze away from the man she hated more than anyone to the view behind him. They were drifting over utter blackness with more blackness above and around them that even her eyes couldn’t penetrate. Seras could almost believe that the blimp had flown them to a quiet section of Hell where they would soon disembark to begin their eternity of torment. Mine just started earlier than theirs.
“Rather than enjoy the view, Fräulein Victoria, perhaps you should pay attention to me.” Seras reluctantly turned her eyes back to the deceptively cheerful little man. “We’re pleased that you’ve been helping Doc with his research without giving him trouble. I’m also delighted that you’ve been keeping our Butler so happy.”
Seras began to feel a strange crawling sensation behind her eyes. The Major’s stare was intense in a way she recognized from her own attempts to get through to the Captain. She let the expression slip from her face and mirrored the silent man she had been studying for weeks. She should have known that someone on this accursed blimp would be able to do what she had been learning to do. It was her bad luck that it would have to be the most dangerous person there.
I can’t let him see how much I’ve learned about keeping people out, he might understand that I can get in as well. Seras put up a screen of thoughts about Walter and the things they did together that she enjoyed. She knew she would be giving the evil man a peepshow, but if he thought she was enamored of Walter, that served her and Walter’s interests.
The crawling continued for so long that Seras thought she was going to scream soon if he didn’t get out of her head. She kept up the mental inventory of the various lessons Walter had taught her over the previous weeks until the feeling of being spied on finally backed off.
The Major turned his attention to Walter. “Butler, I must congratulate you. I didn’t believe that you could break her while keeping her functional, but you have succeeded. I am quite impressed.” Seras watched the fat man and realized that this was Walter’s graduation. He had passed their tests and this was the acknowledgement. She had been the final exam.
She returned from her meditations when she heard the Major telling Walter what was coming. “We are over the Channel now and should arrive in Berlin in another day. We expect more heavy fighting, but the decadent Germans do not have Alucard’s assistance nor does Iscariot have any more resources to interfere with us. Warrant Officer Schrödinger will watch your little friend during the assault, as we will need both Doc and Captain Günsche.”
“Of course, Major. I’ll ensure that she is in properly sedate condition.”
Schrödinger peeked around the Major’s seat for the first time and waved to Seras. She acted as though she hadn’t seen him.
“You may go, Butler. I assume you’ll want some quiet time with your little girl before the fighting begins.” Seras clamped down on her hatred of the Millennium leader, not wanting to reveal how unbroken she really was. Walter scooped her up in his arms and turned to leave, over his shoulder she saw Schrödinger blow her a kiss. What the hell?
Her greatest limitations were in getting through the Captain’s walls and past the pain that was Walter’s mindscape. Seras wanted to be able to read Walter better, both as a matter of self-preservation and because she still held out a weak hope that he was redeemable. Walter was unwittingly helping her with tolerating the pain of his mind with his daily lessons to her in redefining pain and pleasure. The Seras Victoria she had been before Millennium and before Walter’s tender mercies would never have been able to withstand even the moments within his mind that Seras could now endure.
Those moments were confusing to her. It seemed that there was more than one Walter in there. The dominant Walter was the one she slept with every day; the other Walter was like an echo of Hellsing’s trash man. Seras racked her brain for a way to bolster the older persona, but even the old Walter was more bloodthirsty than Seras had known. He wasn’t as averse to his new freedoms as she would have thought. When she thought back to the first time she had touched Walter’s dreams, she realized his dream had been a true memory, not one colored by his new lack of moral restraint. Walter the butler was a more complicated man than she had ever imagined.
Another night, another series of painful and degrading tests at Doc’s hands. Seras sat quietly in the chair where Captain Günsche had placed her and watched the two men. Doc’s attention was divided between his computer screen and the notes he was taking. The Captain’s attention was seemingly completely on her. When she turned away from Doc, she saw the tall man watching her as he always did. Seras and her silent captor stared unspeaking into each other’s eyes.
Do you ever talk, Hans? Are you in there? She hadn’t meant to, but she had projected her question to him. She felt, rather than saw, his attention sharpen.
Seras flinched. She didn’t want to reveal this part of herself to Millennium. It chilled her to consider what they might do to her if they thought she had an ability they couldn’t easily control. At least her slipup had been with the Millennium member least likely or able to tell anyone else about it.
She thought hard about the chances she could take with the Captain. She had never seen him communicate in anything other than the most minimal of nods or headshakes. Nobody else seemed to expect anything more of him. She had reached something of a dead end with the work she’d done with her new abilities. It just wasn’t enough to help her escape. Learning more from and about Captain Günsche might give her more ammunition for her fight to escape. She thought about her nights with Doc and her days with Walter and decided that she had to take more risks or she would die having made no more progress.
Hans? Can you hear me? Seras held herself completely still, fearing that at any moment he was going to speak aloud and tell the Doc to lobotomize her for their safety. His head moved a fraction in a barely perceptible nod. Are you going to tell on me? An almost subliminal headshake.
Now Seras was stuck. She had never expected this and didn’t know where to go. It won’t do me any good to ask you to help me get away, will it? She got the feeling of a smile that never touched his face, and he gave her another virtually invisible negation. Why…why are you with these people? You aren’t like them, are you?
The glass wall between her and the Captain came down for a moment and Seras was given a view that no one in a generation had seen: he threw memories at her the way she had plunged hers into the sleeping vampire, the onslaught was fierce – images of the Captain wading through battle; of the man saluting in the midst of thousands of other men, all cheering their leader; of the Major sharing with him the secret of war and eternity; of a young Walter killing people Hans knew and cared about, and laughing; of a dark young woman holding her arms out to him; of that same young woman with half of her head gone, bleeding out in the snow; and of the Captain, watching himself in the mirror as the trademark impassivity settled over his face like a curtain. The wall came back up and Seras watched him through a bloody haze until she was able to blink back her tears. There didn’t seem to be any more to say after those revelations. “I’m sorry.”
“Fräulein, how nice of you to join us again.”
Seras was clinging to Walter, attempting to look like she was standing on her own, while the Major smiled cordially at her from his seat above the control room of the blimp. She shifted her gaze away from the man she hated more than anyone to the view behind him. They were drifting over utter blackness with more blackness above and around them that even her eyes couldn’t penetrate. Seras could almost believe that the blimp had flown them to a quiet section of Hell where they would soon disembark to begin their eternity of torment. Mine just started earlier than theirs.
“Rather than enjoy the view, Fräulein Victoria, perhaps you should pay attention to me.” Seras reluctantly turned her eyes back to the deceptively cheerful little man. “We’re pleased that you’ve been helping Doc with his research without giving him trouble. I’m also delighted that you’ve been keeping our Butler so happy.”
Seras began to feel a strange crawling sensation behind her eyes. The Major’s stare was intense in a way she recognized from her own attempts to get through to the Captain. She let the expression slip from her face and mirrored the silent man she had been studying for weeks. She should have known that someone on this accursed blimp would be able to do what she had been learning to do. It was her bad luck that it would have to be the most dangerous person there.
I can’t let him see how much I’ve learned about keeping people out, he might understand that I can get in as well. Seras put up a screen of thoughts about Walter and the things they did together that she enjoyed. She knew she would be giving the evil man a peepshow, but if he thought she was enamored of Walter, that served her and Walter’s interests.
The crawling continued for so long that Seras thought she was going to scream soon if he didn’t get out of her head. She kept up the mental inventory of the various lessons Walter had taught her over the previous weeks until the feeling of being spied on finally backed off.
The Major turned his attention to Walter. “Butler, I must congratulate you. I didn’t believe that you could break her while keeping her functional, but you have succeeded. I am quite impressed.” Seras watched the fat man and realized that this was Walter’s graduation. He had passed their tests and this was the acknowledgement. She had been the final exam.
She returned from her meditations when she heard the Major telling Walter what was coming. “We are over the Channel now and should arrive in Berlin in another day. We expect more heavy fighting, but the decadent Germans do not have Alucard’s assistance nor does Iscariot have any more resources to interfere with us. Warrant Officer Schrödinger will watch your little friend during the assault, as we will need both Doc and Captain Günsche.”
“Of course, Major. I’ll ensure that she is in properly sedate condition.”
Schrödinger peeked around the Major’s seat for the first time and waved to Seras. She acted as though she hadn’t seen him.
“You may go, Butler. I assume you’ll want some quiet time with your little girl before the fighting begins.” Seras clamped down on her hatred of the Millennium leader, not wanting to reveal how unbroken she really was. Walter scooped her up in his arms and turned to leave, over his shoulder she saw Schrödinger blow her a kiss. What the hell?