To the Moon and Back
folder
+G to L › Junjou Romantica (Junj? Romanchika)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
18
Views:
4,209
Reviews:
11
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
+G to L › Junjou Romantica (Junj? Romanchika)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
18
Views:
4,209
Reviews:
11
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Junjo Romantica, or any of their characters, though i wish i did own Usagi-san ): I am not making any profits out of this, just happiness and satisfaction.
Chapter 10
Chapter 10
4 months later
Five months had pass since Hiroki had started his treatment, and five months and one week since he left Nowaki and their life together behind. The treatment was going well, and his doctors here in Tokyo were extremely pleased with the results so far. Despite that, it did not mean that the pain of the chemotherapy was any easier for Hiroki to bear, especially since he had to go through it alone. Yes, his parents had been wonderful, supporting him, taking care of his daily needs and such, but as he was now an adult, and having lived many years away from them, he no longer felt comfortable relying on them emotionally like he did as a child. It was bad enough he had to rely on them physically, when it should be the other way around. He felt extremely wretched and useless every time he thought of that.
Stretching his arms as he lay tiredly in bed, he groaned unconsciously as pain shot through both his arms. The chemotherapy, having reached the final stage was getting even more intensive. The cocktail of chemicals that they injected into his body were extremely harsh on his already frail body, and it had caused the veins in his right arm, that they originally used to inject the chemicals into, to collapse. This meant that they could no longer inject the chemicals through those veins, but rather had to switch to other viable veins, like that on his left arm or other areas.
Hiroki sighed resignedly and threw his less damaged left arm over his eyes. He was sick of this existence. The symptoms of his chemotherapy seemed to be amplified on him, leaving him with horrible nausea spells, resulting in him being unable to keep much food down, and being extremely picky about his food. Coupled with the weight-loss that would definitely come with the treatment, his already slim body had now shrivelled to the point of skin and bones. Dark shadows hung on his face, and his hollowed cheeks gave Hiroki an even more emaciated look, a look he knew gave his mother a lot of grief.
That was why he kept himself in his room most of the time, accompanied by his precious books. The constant dizziness and nausea played a major part in that too, for he could not stand up for too long before the world started spinning. He had figured that the best way to deal with the dizziness, which he hated, was to just sleep it away. Furthermore, he was never a massive lover of nature anyway. Hence, Hiroki spent his days cooped up in his room, reading and writing.
And so Hiroki was writing one day, when he remembered the letters that Nowaki had written to him, but never sent when Nowaki was in the States. A sharp pang hit his heart, when he thought of how angry, abandoned, hurt and betrayed he had felt when Nowaki left. He was putting Nowaki through the very same thing, and that knowledge was killing him inside. He couldn’t help but wonder if leaving had been the right decision. It felt right at that time, especially if he put Nowaki’s career first, but now, feeling the pain of separation again, doubts constantly plagued his mind.
‘NO NO NO!!! You didn’t torture yourself for so long about whether to leave, what was the right thing to do, then packing up and actually leaving him, and going through almost the entire treatment just to doubt your actions NOW. You’ve held on for too long to just give in like this. Recover and then you can go back to him to seek his forgiveness. Get healthy and then you can be with him again, and he’d never know. This was the best choice for him and his future.’ Hiroki raged at himself mentally, attempting to force those doubts out of his mind.
Suddenly, the thought struck him. He should write to Nowaki, just like Nowaki did in the past. But Hiroki did not intend to send those letters; it was just his way of dealing with his pain, from the treatment and leaving Nowaki. If Nowaki had been here, they would have gone through each detail of the treatment and shared the times together. That was what he would put into the letters... though he was not sure if he ever would show Nowaki those letters, for he had not decided if he ever wanted Nowaki to know of his illness and the treatment he had undergone behind Nowaki’s back. Maybe one day, if Nowaki even took him back, would he perhaps tell Nowaki of all that happened, and even show him the letters, that was if he did not die of embarrassment first. But for now, it was Hiroki’s way of dealing, an outlet for all the emotions and thoughts that he had kept bottled inside of him for the past five months. As he gently caressed the large sweatshirt that Nowaki always wore at home with one hand, he put pen to paper, and began writing his heartfelt letters to Nowaki.
---------------------------------------------------
Not so far away in Tokyo, Nowaki tossed restlessly in ‘his’ room, being unable to sleep in the room he used to share with Hiroki ever since Hiroki left. Sleep was hard to come these few days, and when he was finally able to, it was usually a restless sleep, plagued with dreams of Hiroki’s back turned towards him, and him always reaching out for Hiroki but never getting anywhere near.
‘Hiro-san...’, Nowaki heartbreakingly mumbled in his sleep.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello hello
4 months later
Five months had pass since Hiroki had started his treatment, and five months and one week since he left Nowaki and their life together behind. The treatment was going well, and his doctors here in Tokyo were extremely pleased with the results so far. Despite that, it did not mean that the pain of the chemotherapy was any easier for Hiroki to bear, especially since he had to go through it alone. Yes, his parents had been wonderful, supporting him, taking care of his daily needs and such, but as he was now an adult, and having lived many years away from them, he no longer felt comfortable relying on them emotionally like he did as a child. It was bad enough he had to rely on them physically, when it should be the other way around. He felt extremely wretched and useless every time he thought of that.
Stretching his arms as he lay tiredly in bed, he groaned unconsciously as pain shot through both his arms. The chemotherapy, having reached the final stage was getting even more intensive. The cocktail of chemicals that they injected into his body were extremely harsh on his already frail body, and it had caused the veins in his right arm, that they originally used to inject the chemicals into, to collapse. This meant that they could no longer inject the chemicals through those veins, but rather had to switch to other viable veins, like that on his left arm or other areas.
Hiroki sighed resignedly and threw his less damaged left arm over his eyes. He was sick of this existence. The symptoms of his chemotherapy seemed to be amplified on him, leaving him with horrible nausea spells, resulting in him being unable to keep much food down, and being extremely picky about his food. Coupled with the weight-loss that would definitely come with the treatment, his already slim body had now shrivelled to the point of skin and bones. Dark shadows hung on his face, and his hollowed cheeks gave Hiroki an even more emaciated look, a look he knew gave his mother a lot of grief.
That was why he kept himself in his room most of the time, accompanied by his precious books. The constant dizziness and nausea played a major part in that too, for he could not stand up for too long before the world started spinning. He had figured that the best way to deal with the dizziness, which he hated, was to just sleep it away. Furthermore, he was never a massive lover of nature anyway. Hence, Hiroki spent his days cooped up in his room, reading and writing.
And so Hiroki was writing one day, when he remembered the letters that Nowaki had written to him, but never sent when Nowaki was in the States. A sharp pang hit his heart, when he thought of how angry, abandoned, hurt and betrayed he had felt when Nowaki left. He was putting Nowaki through the very same thing, and that knowledge was killing him inside. He couldn’t help but wonder if leaving had been the right decision. It felt right at that time, especially if he put Nowaki’s career first, but now, feeling the pain of separation again, doubts constantly plagued his mind.
‘NO NO NO!!! You didn’t torture yourself for so long about whether to leave, what was the right thing to do, then packing up and actually leaving him, and going through almost the entire treatment just to doubt your actions NOW. You’ve held on for too long to just give in like this. Recover and then you can go back to him to seek his forgiveness. Get healthy and then you can be with him again, and he’d never know. This was the best choice for him and his future.’ Hiroki raged at himself mentally, attempting to force those doubts out of his mind.
Suddenly, the thought struck him. He should write to Nowaki, just like Nowaki did in the past. But Hiroki did not intend to send those letters; it was just his way of dealing with his pain, from the treatment and leaving Nowaki. If Nowaki had been here, they would have gone through each detail of the treatment and shared the times together. That was what he would put into the letters... though he was not sure if he ever would show Nowaki those letters, for he had not decided if he ever wanted Nowaki to know of his illness and the treatment he had undergone behind Nowaki’s back. Maybe one day, if Nowaki even took him back, would he perhaps tell Nowaki of all that happened, and even show him the letters, that was if he did not die of embarrassment first. But for now, it was Hiroki’s way of dealing, an outlet for all the emotions and thoughts that he had kept bottled inside of him for the past five months. As he gently caressed the large sweatshirt that Nowaki always wore at home with one hand, he put pen to paper, and began writing his heartfelt letters to Nowaki.
---------------------------------------------------
Not so far away in Tokyo, Nowaki tossed restlessly in ‘his’ room, being unable to sleep in the room he used to share with Hiroki ever since Hiroki left. Sleep was hard to come these few days, and when he was finally able to, it was usually a restless sleep, plagued with dreams of Hiroki’s back turned towards him, and him always reaching out for Hiroki but never getting anywhere near.
‘Hiro-san...’, Nowaki heartbreakingly mumbled in his sleep.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello hello