Choices

AN: Oh My Gawd! Plot actually starts appearing in this chapter! It only took 7 f'n chapters! And everyone see's how long this fic is, right? I haven’t even gotten through a third of it! Though some parts may write quicker than others....

And this is an early b-day gift for Mello, since I didn't want to make anyone wait longer for this, and I dont actually get around to Mello's b-day in here until chapter 11... hehe. Happy last official b-day! T-T

Suggested Listening: Distracted by KSM (Hahaha this soooooo fits for poor Matt! Seriously...)

Chapter Eight: Conversation

Matt walked down the hallway with his eyes glued to the game, though his thoughts had strayed slightly. He had been summoned to Rodger's office, for some reason or another. It was either about his latest set of requested items having arrived, or it was about Mello.

Rodger, even after four months, still seemed certain that Matt would want to change rooms. It was almost amusing, if it weren't for the annoying habit of the man calling when he was trying to look over surveillance feeds.

His lips twitch slightly. Four months. Matt had been undercover at Whammys for four whole months. And yet, strangely it felt longer; but in a good way.

Mainly, it was because of Mello. He kept things interesting. He was Matt's best friend. Though Matt was still trying to get used to it.

Despite their hectic first week together, they had just clicked. Matt was able to handle Mello's almost bi polar mood swings and chocolate addiction just as Mello didn't mind the long silences and sarcastic remarks.

Matt had found himself enjoying the mission far more than he knew he should have. After all, he was there about L, not for himself. Though he tried not to think too much on that, because once he got the required information he was supposed to leave. Recently when he thought about that, he would feel an odd twinge in his chest; distinctly unpleasant.

He couldn't figure it out. And that bothered him.

Matt didn't bother to knock on the door as Rodger was expecting him. Rodger had appeared to be talking to himself, as no one else was in the room with him, except for the fact that an electronic sounding voice was speaking.

Matt eyed the second computer on Rodger's desk warily.

“Ah, there you are Matt.” Rodger nodded approvingly though he had a sort of worried look about him.

“I will leave take my leave now...” Rodger fumbled slightly as he turned the laptop around so that the screen faced Matt, who was now seated before the desk. There was a single, solitary black letter in the middle of a white background.

L.

Everything was silent for a moment as Rodger quickly exited his office and shut the door. Matt was surprised, to say the least. Though he didn't show it outwardly.

“Hello Matt, I suppose there is no need to introduce myself. I would like to ask you a few questions.” Matt nodded, not really knowing what, if anything, to say to L.

“Good. First, how are you adjusting to Whammys? Rodger said that the first week or so you were rather reluctant to speak to anyone.” Matt sat silently for just a moment before replying.

“I'm fine here. And there was no reason to talk. I was... observing.” Matt found no real reason to lie, if L knew about his true reasons for being at Whammys he would have already been arrested and interrogated for information.

“I am curious, what did you gain from your observations?” he doubted that L was truly curious but L had caught him in a good mood so he wouldn't just give a one word answer.

“Understanding, habits, personalities. Everything.” L made a small noise, a hum like sound, of understanding.

It was true that Matt had gained a lot, and the more important things were not even from the surveillance but from his own personal observations. Though the downside was that his silence had seemed to interest Near so he had his own personal albino stalker sometimes.

He doubted anyone other than perhaps Mello could see that.

“And about the classes. How are they for you?” L's voice sounded almost calculating, though it was hard to tell from the voice distortion.

“Moderately hard, but rather boring.”

“From what I gather about you, if you tried harder in your studies you may perhaps reach the rank of second or even first. So why are you consistently third, with a score that hardly fluctuates?”

Matt smiled. He should have known that L would see what he had been doing. The answer to L's question was easy, and he didn't even have to think on it.

“Because I don't want to become L.” though as he said that Matt also realized something, with some small amount of shock, that it wasn't quite as simple as that anymore.

He didn’t know why he hadn't thought of it before; he only spent most of his waking moments around the blonde. He didn't want to be L because Mello did.

“Hm, that's quite interesting.” L said. Matt wasn't sure what was so interesting about it. Well, besides him not wanting to be L. As it seemed everyone there wanted to. Matt would have called it strange, not interesting.

“One last thing. Every other person to room with Mello has requested a change of rooms, and yet you still have not. Why?” Matt could almost see L cock his head to the side in question.

“I retaliated.” Matt left it at that. And it seemed to be enough for L as well.

“Thank you for your time. Please let Rodger know that I wish to speak with him.” Matt nodded and stood, though he did take one last glance at the monitor, before he left.

Rodger stood a few feet away from the door, and Matt wondered if he'd been listening in. “L wants to speak with you.” It seemed to cut off whatever Rodger had planned on saying to him, as the man hurried back into his office.

Matt would definitely have to listen to the audio from before and after his little conversation with L. He had a feeling that L's last question had been more of Rodger's idea rather than L's. Rodger seemed more concerned with that sort of thing than a detective of L's caliber would.

He sighed; he wanted a smoke but knew that if he stayed away much longer Mello would question the reason for the visit much more than usual. He would pry. And then Matt would have to decide whether to outright lie to the blonde, which Mello would undoubtedly pick up on, or tell him the truth.

Neither option was appealing. It was a toss up as to which would have the worse reaction.

When Matt walked into their room he spied Mello quietly studying while he sat on his bed. He only had the one textbook and knew that Mello would probably go through another two that night.

On Matt's third week at Whammys Mello had gone back to his usual study habits and ended up two points behind his previous weekly score, though he'd still been second. From then on Mello had started to add in more rest periods instead of studying all hours of the day.

His score hadn't gone up dramatically, thought it was up by a good seven points.

To Matt, it was proof that the blonde had been overworking his mind and not just his body. To Mello, it was just small steps towards his goal of beating Near and obtaining the title of L. As well as a way to get his preferred brand of chocolate.

“What did he want this time?” Mello asked without having glanced up. Matt pulled his PSP free of his pocket and sat on the edge of the bed as he hunched foreword.

“Same as usual. If you're worried about the chocolate I doubt it will take much longer to come in. I just want my damn cigarettes.” he placed one in his mouth as he said this, and grinned at the glare Mello sent his way.

Mello hated that he smoked. Matt didn't particularly care.

“I don't complain about your chocolate.” he commented while began to play a strategy game. He really should start to request what games he wanted, Rodger seemed to pick the most boring ones.

“My chocolate won’t give me lung cancer and it doesn’t smell horrid.” Mello scoffed.

“True, but my cigarettes wont make me fat or give me diabetes.” it was becoming a familiar argument between the two, and if Matt cared to let it, it could get rather heated.

“I'm not fat!” and as usual Mello only heard the parts he wanted to.

“Really, didn't you have to buy new leather pants recently?” Mello snarled and Matt ducked the textbook that was sent his way, again a rather familiar thing between them.

“Mello!” they both looked up as their door swung open and two boys stood in the entryway.

“We’re going to be playing football, are you coming?” Mello glanced at his textbook for a second before he stood up.

“Sure.” it was one of the few times Matt had seen Mello agree to do something 'normal' rather than study or hang around their room.

“Meet us outside; we're going to get a few more guys to join.” Mello waved them off before he snatched a chocolate bar from his desk and turned to Matt.

“You're welcome to join us you know.” Matt looked up from his game and scoffed making Mello's eye twitch just the slightest bit; his expression caught somewhere between amused and irritated.

“Me? Going outside for something other than a cigarette? Mello, please tell me what is wrong with that.”

Mello rolled his eyes.

“Fine, become a pale as that little freak Near. And don't smoke in the room just because I’m gone.” Mello warned. Matt didn't bother to hide his smirk. He knew he'd been caught.

“I lit it by the window.” Matt said. Mello grabbed another bar off his desk and sighed.

“But the room still reeks of smoke, just don't do it.” there was an unspoken 'please' tacked on the end that made Matt nod.

Mello's lip twitched upwards as he walked from the room, or more like ran. That had been his 'thank you.' Matt had to wonder why it was so easy to read the blonde now. He'd only known him for such a short time, and it seemed like he was able to understand more about him than those who'd known him for years.

It was strange.

Matt saved his current game before he turned the PSP off; now that Mello wasn't in the room with him he had the opportunity to listen to the audio from Rodger's office. He grabbed the laptop and settled himself on his bed, facing the door, and pulled up the desired files.

He skimmed until the part where Whammy entered Rodger's office and dropped off the laptop before leaving, saying that he had business to take care of. Matt listened through Rodger and L's entire conversation.

Basically L had only called because Matt had successfully stayed third for four months. He had apparently done the same for Mello and Near when they reached their positions. Matt had also been correct in his assumption that it was Rodger who brought up the subject of Matt staying as Mello's roommate.

He skipped over his conversation with L, as he obviously knew what was said in it, and went straight to when Rodger entered the room. He listened intently, not really expecting much of anything.

Nothing about their conversation was mentioned and Matt couldn't help but wonder at that; it wasn't as though anything important had been said. And Rodger had obviously wanted to know.

The only thing of interest was when L stated 'that Watari was finishing with the preparations'; for what though Matt didn't know. In all of the other audio feeds from that office nothing of the sort was ever discussed.

Either L believed there was a chance of being overheard or he was truly just paranoid.

The entire thing left him with more questions than answers.

He sat in silence, eyes locked on the screen, before his fingers began to move at a rapid pace across the keyboard. He would be in a rather large amount of trouble if he was caught doing this, and it really was not something he should be doing, but for some inexplicable reason it felt right.

He deleted all of the audio and video concerning L. It was the only time he had caught anything on his techs about L. And he had deleted it.

Matt sighed heavily as he tampered with the files and made them loop so that the missing pieces could not be noticed. Since he had done this there was no need to mention it in either the report or when he checked back in.

Which was supposed to be sometime in the next seven hours. He was almost running late that week.

Matt pulled on his headphones and rummaged around under the edge of his bed to find his wireless microphone; he also took out a small box and turned it on. In his first call all those weeks ago, he'd forgotten all about it, which was really not something that should have happened.

Thankfully it hadn't led to a breach in security, though he hadn’t exactly followed that all too well at the moment...

He minimized all other running programs and pushed 'call' when it popped up mid-screen. One would think that it would instantly connect instead of acting like dial-up internet.

And when it was finally connected Matt was rather displeased with who was on the other end.

“Just when we were beginning to wonder if you would call in. Nice of you to grace us with your presence.” came the voice of one of Matt's least favorite people.

“I'm sure you are secretly riveted.” he commented dryly as he stuck a cigarette in his mouth. He momentarily pondered whether or not he should just keep one in his mouth at all times, as it always seemed he was sticking one in.

Takada looked rather put off; it was enough to cause Matt to smirk.

“I assume that you have everything ready? Or did you call once again unprepared?” Takada's voice was calm, superior like, and it grated on Matt's nerves just a little. The more contact he had with her, the less he liked her.

Kind of like Rodger actually.

“Yup, now if you will just click the button on the bottom of the screen everything will be sent to you. Just like last time.” Matt watched as Takada's eyes narrowed in irritation though she did as suggested only for her eyes to flicker back at him angrily.

He may have neglected to actually send anything... really it must have slipped his mind.

“There is no prompt, stop fooling around!” Takada snapped. Matt felt his mouth twitch; she was so easy to rile up.

“You must have missed it, look again.” she glanced off screen again and Matt saw the bar pop up on his side to tell him the estimated time that remained before the file was sent.

“Your eyes must be going in your old age, maybe you need glasses?” he questioned lightly, and as expected it only infuriated her; though she didn't snap at him this time. If he had to deal with her most of the time when calling in, the least she could do was entertain him properly.

As usual, Takada took her time to look over the report before she got on with the meeting. It was the fifth time he'd had to deal with her.

“Is there anything else you would like to report?” the way Takada asked that made Matt's heart speed up ever so slightly. There was no possible way for her to know what he’d done, and no reason for her to suspect anything for that matter.

“Not really. Unless you want me to tell you what I do before breakfast every morning?” Takada got a rather scandalized look to her face, though Matt really had only thought of his pre-breakfast cigarette.

“That won't be necessary. You really need to get your act together. We should already have at least some sort of information and yet everything you have to report is useless. It doesn’t appear that you are doing everything you could be to get this mission completed, not like I would be if it were my assignment.” Takada said while her cold professional eyes bore into him through the computer.

It didn't intimidate Matt in the least. If that was the best she could do, while sounding like an envious schoolgirl, then Light hadn’t taught her very well.

“But it's not your mission. Light chose me because he knew you couldn't handle it.” Matt smirked at Takada's gasp though he was already bored of her.

“Well, I think this concludes this weeks torture session, don't you?” he didn't wait for her to confirm and instead terminated the transmission.

“Well that went well.” he mumbled as he yanked the headphones off and putt away the small box and the wireless microphone. He sighed and flopped backwards on the bed.

Did Takada suspect something? Or was it just her usual paranoia concerning his performance? It was a toss up, if she told Light, whether or not he would take her seriously. It was known by mostly everyone that the two of them didn't get along, at all, so her concerns may just be brushed aside.

However if they weren't, what exactly would happen then? Light couldn't just send another agent to watch him. It was lucky enough that he'd gotten into Whammys, never mind another agent.

So what would Light do, call him back to HQ? No, his boss wanted information too badly to do that. Was there a way for Light to monitor him using his own systems?

Matt's eyes widened momentarily.

It was more than possible. Light knew all of his pass codes in case of an emergency or of a breach. Though Light didn't like to use them since he had so many firewalls and security protocols to go through.

Matt couldn't chance it, not with what he'd just done.

The laptop was brought out of standby and he immediately set to work on deleting all history of his transgression, as well as adding extra protection to his system that would make it nearly impossible for Light to break through a small area. He couldn’t have a large protected area, as it would be a dead giveaway that he had something to hide.

With that done Matt lay on his side and pulled out his PSP. He'd rather smoke, but it was a rather sunny day out for a change. And him plus bright sunlight didn’t mix very well. At least not without sun block.

Which he had none of.

So he settled for the rather boring game he'd been playing earlier. He really did need to request his own games....

A while later, Matt didn't know how long exactly, the heavy sound of footsteps rushed down the hallway and the door was flung open; though it didn't startle him.

Mello strode in sweaty, shirtless and his hair in disarray.

Matt felt is mouth go dry and he couldn't help but stare at Mello, who was still breathless, as he raced around his side of the room to grab clean clothing. Matt could see the muscles move beneath the lightly tanned skin before Mello hurried into the bathroom.

Matt heard the shower being turned on, as well as the sound of the curtain being pulled closed, and hated the way his face heated up at the thought of Mello naked. Naked and in the shower.

He hated having those thoughts. Because he shouldn’t be having them about a friend. His best friend. Because he shouldn't be having them about Mello. But he couldn't help it.

Why did the blonde have to be so damn perfect?

He had been having thoughts like that for a few weeks and really, it had started when he'd accidently seen Mello naked that first week. Though back then it hadn't really mattered if a random thought like that crossed his mind or not. Mello hadn't been a friend. Just his roommate.

Now it was becoming a problem. A confusing problem.

It wasn't just the thoughts. It was the fact that his heart raced whenever he saw a strip of exposed skin, or when the light hit Mello's face at just the right angle, or when he smiled and his lips would curve ever so slightly, or when he would just walk in the damn room.

And it distracted him, at the most inappropriate moments.

Like when he was trying to sleep and he could hear the blonde’s gentle breathing. Or even when he went over video feeds and he would see something that reminded him of Mello; work was practically impossible after that.

Matt just didn't understand it.

A small beep made him glance down at the PSP, as his eyes had lingered on the closed door. His character had died. He sighed heavily and tossed the handheld away from him.

“That boring?”

Matt's eyes flickered back to the bathroom and to Mello who now stood in the doorway. He leaned against the doorframe, his hair slightly damp and clinging to his face in a way that made Matt start to stare.

Matt held in a groan and had to look away.

“If you didn't procrastinate so much you would already have your type of games.”

Matt could hear when Mello deposited his clothes in the hamper and when he walked over to his desk. Why couldn't Mello use a blow dryer like most normal people?

Why couldn't he be like most normal people, just for once, and not have disturbing thoughts about his best friend?

“You're in a rare mood today, when was the last time you had a smoke?” the blonde asked. Matt let out a half laugh. He probably needed a cigarette. And with his thoughts betraying him, probably needed more than one.

“Sometime before lunch.” he answered. And that really was the last time he remembered having one. He should have just smoked in the room while Mello was gone...

“Go have one before you keel over. I'd prefer not to share my room with a corpse.” Mello stared at him; Matt could feel it, though he didn't meet his gaze. Mello's team must have won if he had suggested Matt go and have one of his 'cancer sticks' as Mello liked to call them.

“I'll just wait until after dinner. It's always better on a full stomach.” he mumbled.

“Sounds more like you’re talking about sex.” Mello commented with amusement laced in his voice. Matt couldn't help but look at him, eyebrow raised in question. Really, Mello wasn't helping his thought process at all.

Mello smirked and shrugged a shoulder before he hopped onto his bed with a textbook in hand.

Did Mello notice when he stared at him? Was that the reason for the random comment? It was possible… he wasn't exactly subtle about it, mainly because he didn't notice he was doing it half the time.

Matt had the sudden urge to scream or pull his hair in pure frustration. This was why he didn't get close to people, things always got complicated. Well besides the fact that everyone else he knew were rather unsociable just like him.

Or they were like Light.

Neither were good choices.

Matt closed his eyes, still lying down, and idly played with the fallen PSP. How had things turned on him so quickly the in span of a few hours? Maybe he could just blame it on L... Everything did start because of him.

Though that did bring forth a question he had wondered for some time.

“Mello, have you ever met L?” the blonde looked up at his question and to Matt's surprise there was anger and frustration in his eyes.

“No! I was supposed to but I got sick! That bastard Near got to see him though...” Mello trailed off, though Matt could still make out words like 'unfair' 'albino' and 'murder'.

“If you've never met him, why are you so determined to be him?” Matt couldn't seem to stop the question even though it felt like he was treading on thin ice with it. Mello immediately stilled.

A slightly haunted look passed over Mello's face, but only for a moment. “I have been here for almost as long as I can remember... I can’t recall my parents faces, or their voices but I do remember how they died. It was L who took me away from the hospital. I owe him everything.”

Matt felt a lump begin to form in his throat.

Not all of his actions may have been purely for the benefit of the children, such as training them to find his successor, but L was...

Not someone Matt wanted harm to come to. If not for L, how many of the orphans would have had worse things happen to them?

Just what would happen to L once Light got his info, because Matt had no doubt now that he would be able to get it.

Would Light capture him, torture him, or even kill him? What would happen to those who resided at Whammys? What would Happen to... to Mello...?

Matt began to wonder if those were the thoughts he should focus on rather than how to get info on L.

Matt had always respected Light, Kira, in a way. He was thankful to Light for getting him off the streets. But... he had never been wholly comfortable with the things the brunette genius did, or had him do.

He'd never had a reason, never cared, to question things. But now... now Matt had Mello. His best friend. And L. And Whammys. Those people weren't doing anything sketchy at all. Nothing to warrant Light's obsession, other than the mystery of L's identity.

Well L might be, but not the sketchy kind of things 'Kira' had been and was currently doing. None of them deserved what might happen to them if he succeeded in his mission.

He wasn't even sure if he should...

“Matt?” Matt blinked and looked up. “You spaced out for a moment...” Though Mello had rolled his eyes, there had been some worry in them. Could Matt really put him in danger...?

“You don’t have to answer, but... what happened for you to come here?”

Matt suddenly felt completely uncomfortable. His story was a lie. A complete lie. But he couldn't exactly tell Mello his real story. At least not all of it.

Mello looked ready to speak again and Matt closed his eyes.

“My father used to smack me around a bit. Me and my mother. He finally lost it one night and killed her, tried to kill me too. I obviously didn't die. Whammy found me not too long after.” Mello's eyes had widened and Matt felt rater horrible for telling him that.

Though it was a bit closer to the actual truth than even Light knew. Well, he was almost certain Light didn't know much about him. Light had found him when he had been living on the streets, and Matt was almost certain that he'd deleted all of his records before then.

He had never been the kind of child people would really remember anyway. He had always preferred his own company to that of others.

“Is that why you... never liked to be touched by anyone?” Mello's voice was hesitant, almost reluctant. Like he was curious and despite not wanting to make Matt feel bad, simply couldn't contain himself.

“Yes.” but not for the reason you're thinking, Matt added silently.

Matt almost couldn't hold in a smirk. It wasn't a funny situation in the least, far too close to his own memories, but he had never been good at emotions like sorrow.

He rather preferred to get over things quickly, or hide them with a smile or a smirk, burry them until it didn't connect to him anymore. He was naturally easy going. He just didn't like to deal with the darker emotions.

“I'm sorry for bringing it up.” Mello practically whispered, and Matt felt a twinge of guilt.

“I started it. Besides, it’s over and done with. It's not something I really dwell too much on. I don't have the motivation.” Matt shrugged and picked the handheld off the bed to play, but not before Mello let out a small snort.

Matt was never all that great at diffusing a tense situation, but he'd have to say he did rather well that time.

He didn't have all the answers, and everything seemed to be piling up at the moment, but he did know that a decision would have to be reached.

And soon.

-End Conversation-

AN: *falls over* I killed my hands again writing this fic. I swear, its like once a fic I end up writing too much and mess up my hands/fingers. Its f'd up. (probably doesn't help that I don't wait for them ho heal, I type through the pain! *shrugs*)

So how was this?

Plot strikes... you all like plot right?

But recently I have made some edits to my plot... buwhahahaha! You will all thank me. Hehehe.