Canti

Disclaimer: I do not own Demon Diary.


Canti
By 11


Chapter 10


Maybe I wasn’t being totally fair to him… Erutis wondered as she traced over a pattern in the sand, it had been a few hours already and sulking was only making her realize how she had perhaps over reacted. But it was just so weird! Krayon, sure he was her boyfriend, but he had a key to her room?

The redhead sighed and dropped the stick on the beach. This was so stupid.

“Erutis?”

She looked up surprised to see the dark blonde standing a little ways away, “Mind if I join you?” he asked with a small smile.

“Sure,” she said turning back to look out over the sea, the sun was setting now, and the pink and orange clouds made one of the more beautiful pictures Erutis had seen, next to those at an art gallery.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he started, “I promise I won’t be using that key while we’re here. There you go,” he said taking her hand and putting the small bit of bronze metal into it. It was the key, and she looked up at him for an explanation.

“Just don’t lose it, I’m letting you hold onto it,” Krayon told her with a grin. Erutis looked over his face carefully, he looked sincerely sorry. Blue eyes watching her, hoping that he wouldn’t be turned away again.

“I’m sorry too Krayon… I was being… difficult, this morning,” Erutis said slowly. It felt odd to apologize, and more than anything she just wanted to throw her arms around him and tell him how sorry she was and wished that they could just forget about this whole mess.

“Yeah you were difficult!” he agreed, “But it’s okay,” he told her, his hand stroking her arm soothingly, his warmth felt good after sitting alone with nothing but the wind off the ocean cooling her most of the day. “We probably should have just talked it out from the beginning.”

Yeah, but I might not have listened to you… Erutis thought. She really had been kind of irrational then, and it hadn’t been so much of a big deal, nothing happened.

“Wanna head back?” He asked. She hesitated a moment, and her hand covered his on her arm. She nodded and smiled as she stood with him.

Krayon left his hair out, it looked nice she thought to herself as she followed him on the short trek across the beach back to the wood house.

A dark and light spot in the grass caught Erutis’ eyes, and Krayon felt her pause and change direction. He followed to see what had gotten his redhead’s attention. Among the soft dry reeds, where they had smoothed out a little, forming a nest of soft cool sand lay two familiar forms.

Chris lay on his side, with Leeche fitted with her back against him, one of his arms over their heads the other fallen loosely over her side. Leeche’s arm covered Chris’, and her other lay on the sand in front of her slightly gripping, like a child in sleep. They both looked to be asleep actually.

It made a peaceful picture, and Erutis admired it a moment, “They’re so cute,” she breathed, voicing her thoughts.

“We should wake them up though,” Krayon said. He agreed with Erutis though, they did make a cute pair. Chris dark hair, and Leeche’s long blonde hair splayed over the sand, the position added to the idea of a cute and fluffy romance.

“Maybe,” Erutis said as she turned away from the pair in the sand, “But not now.” she said wrapping her arms around Krayon’s neck and leaning up a little to brush her lips against Krayon’s. His arms went instinctively to her waist and he held her close, relishing the soft feel of her lips against his.

“Too pretty a picture to ruin,” Erutis breathed pulling back a little, “Let’s go inside.” She suggested pulling out of his arms, her hand gripping onto his and smiling she started off towards the house, Krayon walking beside her, they hands still loosely holding one another.

Entering the door, Erutis and Krayon’s hands didn’t seem to want to be released just yet, “Maybe I should make us all a really nice dinner.” He suggested turning to face the redheaded girl.

“That’d be really sweet of you Krayon, thank you,” Erutis told him with a smile. “I look forward to it,” she said pulling away from him again, and looking around the room, “So where’d Raenef and Eclipse go?” she wondered aloud as she wandered off to find them.

Krayon smiled slightly to himself as he started off for the kitchen. For now, the kisses, the touching, it would do, but he was slowly starting to need her more. He needed her every day, just seeing her, hearing her, being with her, was becoming addicting. It could all be summed up in one thing though, he loved her, simple as that, but he had to tell her. He had already been thinking on it too, he’d be finished and out of college soon, he was already working with Eclipse at the Ravenhold company. His future was already assured, now he just wanted Erutis.

He had the ring, now all he needed was the perfect time, he had been thinking about proposing that morning if it weren’t for the whole mess about the key. It was fine though, her temper was a part of her, and no matter how infuriating at the time, he still loved her, then and later. She was difficult, and when they got married, they’d have to work at it; but Krayon was already sure it’d be worth it.
She already was.

`

“Eclipse? Raenef?” Erutis called knocking on their room door, it was open. “Hey, you guys in here?” she asked entering the room slowly, wary for privacy, but she needn’t have worried for that.

“Eclipse, what’s wrong?” Erutis asked when she opened the door and found the dark-haired young man pacing back and forth in the main area of the room. He looked up at her, a little shocked to see her.

“Oh, Erutis… you and Krayon make up then?” he asked, but something was still bothering him, something that was making him very nervous.

“Yeah we did, so are you okay? You seem really jittery about something.” Erutis voiced her thoughts on his somewhat shaky behavior.

“Oh it’s nothing… I’m just a little worried about Raenef…” Eclipse relented somewhat, “He… he locked himself in the bathroom since this morning you see.”

“What? Why?” Erutis asked shocked, Raenef never did impulsive stuff like that unless… “Did something happen?”

“No!” Eclipse replied, a little too quickly, “Of course not. What could have happened?” Eclipse asked becoming a little more self-conscious of what he said. Erutis didn’t miss the slight blush that tinted Eclipse’s pale cheeks.

So something did happen, but Eclipse wasn’t going to tell her what. “Okay, well I’m his sister, so why don’t you leave and I’ll see if I can coax Rae out of there,” Erutis reason as she pushed Eclipse towards the door.

“Wait, why?” Eclipse asked.

“I don’t know what happened, but I know something did, and you aren’t going to tell me, Raenef can’t feel threatened or he won’t open up,” Erutis reason, “Now go!” she said pushing him out the door and closing it. She locked it just as Eclipse rattled the knob.

“Erutis, is this really necessary?” he sounded very nervous now, even worse than before.

“Absolutely, why don’t’ you go help Krayon with dinner, ‘kay!” Erutis told him as she walked away from the door. She could hear Eclipse complaining on the other side, but he gave up after a bit it seemed. He might have stayed just outside the door, but either way there was no other sound disturbance.

Erutis knocked three times on the bathroom door; like a friend a little nervous they were a little early to their arrival. “Rae?”

He wasn’t answering; with the door locked she might need a key from Krayon…

`

Why was it so difficult? Raenef wondered as he sat there on the bathroom floor. It shouldn’t have been this difficult to pull the pieces together. But they were shattered, that’s what they were weren’t they? But if something breaks, it can be fixed, he’d been able to fix it thousands of times before, and each time he thought he’d gotten stronger, that he somehow was able to do it better each time. Each time so no one could see through.

No one had… even Eclipse hadn’t yet gotten that far through. He’d managed to save himself. But he was still so afraid. He needed to get out of here, this room, but that fear still sat in the pit of his belly holding him still.

He wasn’t shaking anymore, he wasn’t crying. Now he was just still, trying in vain to fit everything back to how it was. It used to be so easy, he had accepted what had happened, now all he had to do was stand and smile. Pretend everything was fine. He’d done it so many times, no one suspected a thing, all those times. He had to go out and smile, that way no one would come here and become suspicious.

Why was it so difficult to call upon his mask now? Why did he really feel no disappointment over it, just an emptiness, and cold fear that froze him to the floor.

“Rae?”

It was his sister at the door, so they were already getting suspicious, worried perhaps. Erutis may be in any case. But he couldn’t let her in yet. He couldn’t bring it up, and he couldn’t move. He felt like he should be hurting but he felt oddly numb about his lack of an action.

After a moment the sound of the lock moving jolted a motion through Raenef and he stood up as the door opened his eyes wide as he came face to face with his sister.

“Oh hey, Erutis, what’s up?” he asked, trying to smile, as if playing a game that hadn’t turned out quite right. But he could tell he wasn’t doing a very good job, the smile felt half-hearted, far more mellow than usual.

“Raenef… you look terrible, are you okay?” she asked concern appearing in her eyes as she stepped forward, reaching out to him.

He backed away from her, still trying to keep that weak smile in place, trying to improve it without success, “Of course, I’m fine Erutis,” he told her, but his voice felt forced and he inwardly winced, because it sounded forced as well. “Don’t worry.” He tried again, trying to relax his voice a little, but the smile faltered.

“Don’t give me that garbage Raenef,” Erutis said, the cold biting at Raenef, guilt making a stab somewhere at his weaker surface, causing it to crumble further than it had. “I know something’s wrong, and you’re going to tell me what it is.”

She had his eyes locked with hers and she wouldn’t relent. His hands clenched at air and unclenched repeatedly. “Tell me.” She persisted that same biting voice as before made the numbness seem to dim as it was replaced by cold.

“You’re going to hate me for it,” Raenef warned blinking slightly, to keep the water welling there from ever coming out. If she knew she’d hate him, and she was going to make him tell her.

“Tell me Raenef.” She ordered a bit more calmly this time. Raenef looked down at the floor, he couldn’t watch her face when he told her.

“I… Eclipse…” his throat was dry, he really didn’t want to say it, and it came out as the barest of whispers, he stayed silent and still after that, hoping he wouldn’t have to repeat it any louder.

“You like Eclipse…?” Erutis half stated half asked after a time. Raenef stayed still, his silence was the affirmation. Now all he had to do was wait, she’d leave the room and not come back. She’d hit him and call him an idiot. She’s scream at him and reprimand him. Eclipse would know soon, everyone would… and they’d all hate him. Even Chris, because he was also ashamed of Raenef wasn’t he?

Reenef didn’t care. He couldn’t care, because if he did… it’d hurt.

“It’s okay Raenef, why are you acting like I sentenced you to death?” Erutis asked, her hands coming to rest warmly on his shoulders.

“Then…” Raenef asked looking up at his sister’s warm loving face.

“Of course I don’t hate you, why would you think I would?” she asked as if puzzled he could think such a thing. “I think it’s fine you like Eclipse. If he wasn’t so cold and I wasn’t currently taken I’d probably be chasing after him too.”

“But I’m so scared….” Raenef said suddenly falling forward his arms wrapping around her tightly in a hug, “I don’t know when! I was dating someone else, it was a guy too, and we broke up, and Eclipse… I think I’ve liked him for a while… and just a while ago, he was too close and I lost it! I was scared and I ran away, now he must think I’m weird because I was hiding, but I was so scared Erutis!”

“It’s okay Rae… it’s okay,” she assured him as she stroked his loose blonde hair, her poor little brother, it’d been a while since they’d done this. Since he admitted he was scared. Since he confided in her what he was thinking, what he was feeling.

“The worst is that he doesn’t like me,” Raenef finished quietly still holding on tightly and not looking up at her.

“How do you know he doesn’t like you?” Erutis asked.

“Because…” Raenef answered. “I’m scared. What if he doesn’t like me…”

“It’ll be fine.” Erutis said her other hand rubbing his back, “He wouldn’t be mean.”

“What if I don’t do it right…” Raenef asked calmly, a sigh of defeated fatigue.

“Well, you could practice. You know with a mirror,” she suggested, Raenef pulled away slightly looking up at her, “you know, so you can get what you want to say just right, and you won’t look bad. Then you just hope for the best. It’s all you can do at this point, right?”

Raenef slid out of her arms looking at the floor and nodded. Erutis smirked, “But I think it’ll work out.” Her brother glanced up at her with skeptical eyes. “I really think it will.” She told him with a wink. “It’s not like he’d hurt you over it, not on purpose. It’s fine to like Eclipse. People who say it is only right to like a certain group of people or gender are just plain weird.”

“Besides,” she said wistuflly, “It’s not like you choose to love, or when you love. You just do. Love just happens… sometimes when we least expect it you know?”

“Yeah,” Raenef nodded. His sister was thinking about Krayon right now, he could tell; it was nice that she had someone. It was easy for her to tell him these things, she had someone to hold her and make everything better when everything else seemed like it had become a huge mess.

“Come on, let’s go and see what Krayon made for dinner,” Erutis suggested as she started for the door. Raenef followed her there. But dinner was somewhat dull as far as Raenef could tell.


All through the meal Eclipse didn’t make eye contact with him, of course neither did Raenef. Leeche and Chris were blushing slightly more than usual, and Erutis and Krayon were exchanging ‘lovey’ eyes.

After dinner Erutis was glad to help Krayon clear away the dishes and loading up the dishwasher before heading outside onto the patio balcony. There was a nice moon this night, and the reflection on the far side of the ocean glimmered like a thousand pearls.

Krayon’s arms wrapped around her shoulders from behind, a gentle kiss to the side of her neck made Erutis sigh. It was so beautiful tonight, and Krayon felt so nice as she let her weight sag against him. She turned her face to catch his lips with hers, slowly turning around in his arms to get a better purchase on the dark blonde male.

“Dinner was great,” she told him breaking the kiss a moment as she wandered to his neck, her hand stroking at the back, knotting a little into his hair. Her lips and breath gently caressing along the sensitive skin below his ear.

“Glad you liked it,” Krayon told her his voice lower than usual from the redhead’s ministrations, as the woman traced the shell of his ear with her tongue, drawing a moan from her lover.

Her lips nipped onto his earlobe for a moment as she trailed a combination of soft kisses and nips along his neck, to his shoulder as she pushed the loose shirt over to reveal more skin to her. Krayons hands were stroking lightly along her sides, playing a little to get her shirt up over the waist of her shorts, his fingers delighted to encounter her soft skin. Erutis sighed against him and her hands went down to his shirt pulling up, momentarily breaking their contact as she did so. Krayon demanded only the same of her, and if Erutis hadn’t known that everyone had headed for bed she might have protested.

After the top part barrier had disappeared they sealed the skin bond between them, her chest to his, their lips meeting in earnest as Krayon and Erutis slipped their tongues into play, a duel to be won. Erutis gave in after a moment, to enjoy the feel of suckling along the velvet bit of flesh that was Krayon.

Her Krayon, the beautiful man who had pulled her back from a discontinued and boring world into something she now enjoyed enough to share with him forever if she could.

She started a bit when she felt one of his hands cup her breast as it slid beneath her bra. His other hand made quick work of the snap at the back allowing the restricting piece of clothing to fall away. Erutis had a thought about breaking the kiss to stop that, but he wasn’t cruel with her. It was a nice feel as he rolled the lump of soft flesh in his hand careful for now to avoid her sensitive nipple slowly hardening from the indirect stimuli.

They pulled away after a moment for breath, and Erutis sighed into the touch, and she leaned forward against him. She could feel the growing semi-hardness at the crux of his pants, she could already feel herself slowly starting to get stimulated as well, as she could tell from the dampness in her lower region, and she was feeling bold right now anyway… why not?

Krayon started when he felt Erutis’ hand slowly sliding down past his pants waistband, her hand flexing against his growing erection. He jerked against her in involuntary motion. She smirked at him slightly, and he gripped her arms unsteadily, but gods he wanted her.

“Not here,” he said.

“Not my room,” Erutis said in a short breath, “Leeche.”

“Not mine,” Krayon said in an equally short time, “Chris. There’s another room though.” With that thought he lifted her by her hips, causing their bodies to rub together slightly. Erutis’ hand on his lower body melding against him, causing a shot of fire to burn up his spine.

It took only a few moments as Krayon rushed through the dark halls to that one room and kicked the door shut behind them. They tumbled quickly onto the soft western style bed, with Erutis laying beneath Krayon, she started to unbuckle his pants, but his hands stayed hers.

She looked up at him confused; didn’t he want this too? Blue eyes watched her green as they filled with confusion, he wanted it. He really wanted it, but before he had to ask her something. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out the small box. He leaned in and kissed her lovingly before pulling back. “Erutis I have a question,” he started, and she sat up a little more to meet his eye level.

He opened the box and offered it to her, inside was a ring, a single diamond carved like a tear and guilded with silver and the gold of the ring. Erutis breath caught a moment, “I’ll be finished with college ina few more years, and I know you’re still in high school, and might want to go to college too, and I can wait for that… but one day after that… will you marry me?” He asked watching her shocked face as she stared at the glittering jewel.

Her hand covered the box and lowered his hand, for a moment fear flooded through him, but he needn’t have worried as she leaned up towards him kissing him sweetly. “I am so happy,” she whispered, a tone Krayon had never heard, something inexplicably joyful, a joy that showed in her eyes as she looked at him. “Yes.” She said her arms coming to rest around his neck as she pulled him to her in a tight hug, “Yes… I love you. I love you. I love you…”

Krayon hugged her back, “I love you too,” he told her quietly as he just held her for a few moments, however the simple joy didn’t last too long as lust was getting the better of the night, the same heated kisses resumed. Krayon helped Erutis to remove his pants and in turn to remove hers and their underclothes, she was lovely, and he loved her. He wanted to show her, just how much…

`

Eclipse had expected that Krayon and Erutis would need some alone time after dinner, apparently the others had thought the same and had already gone to bed. Now as Eclipse stepped out in his after bathrobes he looked down at the blonde apparently sleeping so peacefully in his futon.

He shouldn’t have done that earlier, but at that time it had been so hard to resist not touching the boy. A lot like right now, he thought idly as he knelt down by the boy, he too had changed into a bathrobe for the night. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep; Eclipse didn’t bother to stop the hand that smoothed away the bit of hair that had fallen over the boy’s face.

His hair was so soft. His skin was soft too as Eclipse had had the privilege of learning the other day. However he did resist giving the boy just the softest of kisses, he couldn’t. He wanted to, but his self-control would not get out of hand again, he didn’t want to ever have a repeat performance of earlier that day when Raenef had locked himself away.

I love you Raenef. Eclipse said in his mind as he watched the other boy a moment before going over to slip into his own futon. But I can’t say it aloud.

It really did hurt him, despite his outward apparent lack of emotion. It did hurt, he had never mean to scare the boy away, but then what could he do? That wouldn’t involve severing any ties they had, and avoided pain?

Eclipse sighed to the dark. It provided no answers, not that he’d expected it to.

Raenef sat up and looked over at Eclipse, he looked to be asleep. Slowly he touched the place where the older man had rested his hand. It was good to know the other did care about him, even if just a little bit, a sad smile was offered the sleeping youth, but Eclipse couldn’t have seen it.

Going over to the dresser Raenef quietly opened a drawer a took out the hand mirror, closed the drawer and exited the sleeping room sliding the door shut and sitting down on the floor with his back to the closed door. Holding the small mirror in his hand though Raenef found himself at a loss.

The easy part was waiting till Eclipse was asleep and getting out of the room, now came the hard part, thinking of what actually to say in practice to the mirror, as his sister suggested. He hadn’t originally thought that he’d even take her up on that advice, but he had no other plan.

“This feels so stupid,” Raenef said to the mirror, his own frowning face looking back at him with the same unconvinced look. “Hey Eclipse… how are you? I’m good… uh…” Raenef started, “I really like you.” He shook his head. “Gods that was pathetic!”

“Hi Eclipse, I wanted to tell you I love you!” Raenef groaned in irritation with himself, “not serious sounding…”

Taking a deep breath he forgot the mirror, keeping his eyes closed, without the idea that he was still here in the room it created the fragile illusion of being completely alone within his own mind.

“My thoughts are so confused,” Raenef said aloud, not minding the faint squeak of floorboards somewhere in the building. “When you can’t get your thoughts out you just talk, even if it doesn’t make sense just talk, and don’t think, think aloud. I think Leeche told me that once.”

“Well here’s what I think. I’m scared, and I’m still really confused. You’re the only thing I’m not confused about.” Raenef started, “You helped me so much, and the only other person I was close to being with were Chris and Leeche, they’re my best friends. And I can always pretend for them. I don’t know why you’re any different, but you are. Like earlier, I don’t know why but I couldn’t keep it up. Around you I have no defense, and I can only hope you’ll accept me for who and what I am. But I’m so scared of giving you that chance.”

“I’m not a very strong person you know,” Raenef chuckled to himself, “I’m really very weak, and even weaker when it comes to something like this. I have no idea how to act, what to do. It’s all a jumbled mess and confusion is all that I can see in all directions. I’m so afraid you won’t accept me.”

“I’m so afraid I’ll chase you away and destroy any friendship we might have had, I’m so afraid of that.” Raenef shook his head, he was getting close to crying again. “I don’t even know how to tell you this, if you were actually listening, I’d probably sound like an idiot fool just blabbering on and on mindlessly. I guess I am rambling though, aren’t I?” Raenef asked.

“It feels good to be talking out loud though…” Raenef sighed, his eyes slowly opening to the dim room, “But the truth of everything, what I’m afraid of telling you. You might hate me, I want to take that chance but I’m scared. I love you. If you reject me… I don’t know… I don’t know anything. I only know I love you.”

Raenef’s eyes fell to the mirror at his feet, his reflection was crying but he was slightly smiling, and behind him stood Eclipse. “Because that’s all I’m sure of, I love you. I love you Eclipse.” Raenef finished focusing his eyes on the image in the mirror.

The fear was gone, replaced by emptiness, he turned and looked up at Eclipse, “I’m sorry,” Raenef told him, he wasn’t completely sure if this was a dream and that he had fallen asleep while practicing, but something told him it wasn’t and even so, he had to finish.

Even if Eclipse did hate him forever, if he lived in fear of losing Eclipse if he never said anything he’d lose him anyway. This way the pain wouldn’t hurt as much when and if Eclipse gave his answer. “I’m so sorry,” Raenef repeated, “But I love you, Eclipse.”

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