Gold & Guns
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Death Note › Yaoi-Male/Male › Mello/Matt
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Adult +
Chapters:
14
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Category:
Death Note › Yaoi-Male/Male › Mello/Matt
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
14
Views:
1,731
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own or make money from Death Note
Part 10: To Live Without It
AN: Yes, I did choose this song for a reason. XD
Suggested Listening: To Live Without It by The Spill Canvas.
Part 10
~To Live Without It~
Matt would never speak of the early days, the ones after he had found Mello half dead in his apartments stairwell. The days where Mello, after Matt had been able to stabilize him by some miracle because by all rights he should have died in the first day, was an incoherent mess and filled the apartment with pained sobs and angered sleep mutterings.
The days where Mello often called him Mail rather than Matt in his fever induced delirium... the days where he had bee so close to death that Matt didn't think Mello even understand how fucking lucky he was... The days where Mello looked so damned helpless and fragile that Matt was afraid to change the bandages covering his marred form.
Matt would never speak of those days to Mello; not even if Mello held him at gun point, not even if Mello asked.
During that entire time he hadn't gone to the club once, had simply told the manager he was taking time off and hadn't gone back since. Hadn't had the time or the mind to between caring for Mello and sleeping away his exhaustion and worry.
Matt had felt the anxiety, that horribly anxious feeling, pile up in his system day after day. It was so damn hard to watch Mello as he was. So damn injured that the simple act of lifting his head sent him into agony and standing nearly caused him to pass out. To slowly see his wounds healing into a scar that would never fade...To see Mello's mind subdued by pain... it was too much.
He had wanted any excuse to get out of the apartment, even for five minutes, and had nearly begged until Mello decided he was well enough for something other than canned soup. Matt had been more than happy to 'drag' himself out of the apartment to get takeout for the injured blond.
And he honestly had only meant to go out and get dinner, as he knew Mello was waiting for him back at home, but his path took him passed the one place he shouldn't go back to. Knew he didn't need to go to...
He had an itch to scratch, and knew going there wouldn't fix it, knew it was only a temporary patch, knew that if he faltered, all of those months away from it would come crashing back down on him an mean nothing, knew that he would get sucked back into that world.. knew that it was betraying him....
And despite his conflicted thoughts, he found himself parking his car out front and walking inside the dimly lit club.
-End Part 10-
AN: A rather short chapter I know, but thats why i'm posting it early...
Suggested Listening: To Live Without It by The Spill Canvas.
Part 10
~To Live Without It~
Matt would never speak of the early days, the ones after he had found Mello half dead in his apartments stairwell. The days where Mello, after Matt had been able to stabilize him by some miracle because by all rights he should have died in the first day, was an incoherent mess and filled the apartment with pained sobs and angered sleep mutterings.
The days where Mello often called him Mail rather than Matt in his fever induced delirium... the days where he had bee so close to death that Matt didn't think Mello even understand how fucking lucky he was... The days where Mello looked so damned helpless and fragile that Matt was afraid to change the bandages covering his marred form.
Matt would never speak of those days to Mello; not even if Mello held him at gun point, not even if Mello asked.
During that entire time he hadn't gone to the club once, had simply told the manager he was taking time off and hadn't gone back since. Hadn't had the time or the mind to between caring for Mello and sleeping away his exhaustion and worry.
Matt had felt the anxiety, that horribly anxious feeling, pile up in his system day after day. It was so damn hard to watch Mello as he was. So damn injured that the simple act of lifting his head sent him into agony and standing nearly caused him to pass out. To slowly see his wounds healing into a scar that would never fade...To see Mello's mind subdued by pain... it was too much.
He had wanted any excuse to get out of the apartment, even for five minutes, and had nearly begged until Mello decided he was well enough for something other than canned soup. Matt had been more than happy to 'drag' himself out of the apartment to get takeout for the injured blond.
And he honestly had only meant to go out and get dinner, as he knew Mello was waiting for him back at home, but his path took him passed the one place he shouldn't go back to. Knew he didn't need to go to...
He had an itch to scratch, and knew going there wouldn't fix it, knew it was only a temporary patch, knew that if he faltered, all of those months away from it would come crashing back down on him an mean nothing, knew that he would get sucked back into that world.. knew that it was betraying him....
And despite his conflicted thoughts, he found himself parking his car out front and walking inside the dimly lit club.
-End Part 10-
AN: A rather short chapter I know, but thats why i'm posting it early...