Saiyuki: Reborn

--------------------
Chapter 11


\"Kay,\" he called back, moving further into the water. \"I\'ll just...be
a few more minutes.\" Goku grabbed some shampoo and began to
vigorously scrub his hair. //Hmm...then I\'ll get to sleep next to
him. Hopefully I\'ll be tired enough to ignore the rain.//

\"All right.\" Huyen tied a towel around his waist and grabbed another
for his hair, keeping it off his shoulders as he wandered into the
bedroom. He was feeling...a little detached. Listening to Goku talk
about the rain earlier.... With a sigh he slipped into a pair of
boxers and a T-shirt, drying his hair as he waited for Goku.

Once he felt clean and rinsed, Goku finally left the shower. He still
hung around the steamy room, drying his hair; though he was eager to
curl up beside his lover, he was fearful of the storm he was sure was
still going on outsidhen hen he couldn\'t find anymore water to wipe
up, he sighed and bounced off to the bedroom, completely naked. He
smiled brightly as he hunted up some boxers for himself. \"Ooh, it
still looks really dark out,\" he commented, though he didn\'t look at
the rain covered window.

\"Yeah....\" Huyen was staring down at his hand, just watching the
muscles stand out on his forearm as his fingers curled. He glanced up
only briefly as Goku dressed. //I feel tired....// \"Hey. Why...does
the rain bother you so much, anyway?\"

\"Hmm?\" Dressed, he crawled onto the bed behind his lover, kneeling
and drawing his hands over Huyen\'s back. \"I don\'t like it,\" Goku
replied plainly, hoping Huyen wouldn\'t dig too much. \"It\'s cold, and
it\'s dark.\" He closed his eyes briefly. \"It makes the sun go away.\"

\"Oh.\" Huyen\'s eyes thinned slightly as he let his hand fall to his
knee. He had a feeling that Goku\'s words held more meaning than that,
and that...at some point, he\'d understood completely. //Makes…the sun
go away.// He rotated his shoulders slightly to keep Goku\'s hands
against him. \"Well... I\'m sorry.\"

He shrugged lightly, strengthening his fingers as he worked over the
back of Huyen\'s neck. \"It\'s okay. It\'s not so bad, since you\'re here.
I really don\'t like being alone when it rains.\" Goku leaned close to
touch a quick kiss to a thin shoulder. \"So you\'ll just have to stay
close.\"

\"All right....\" Huyen let his head fall forward slightly, enjoying
the strength in Goku\'s hands even as his mind spun a little. //Makes
the sun go away....// A tiny tremor passed through him. //The sun…my
sun….//

Huyen bit his lip, trying not to cringe as a shudder went through
him. //I don\'t want to think about it. It…it doesn\'t matter
anymore!// But he was sure Goku noticed, and…he hoped he didn\'t say
anything.

Goku lifted his head, though he didn\'t pause his hands. //He\'s
shaking....// He bit his lips. //Huyen...?// Not sure what he was
supposed to do, he leaned forward to press his forehead against
Huyen\'s back. \"Just...stay close,\" he murmured, trying to shut out
the sound of distant thunder.

\"Goku....\" But it was too much. The touch of Goku\'s hands against him
made his shivering worse as images attempted to resurface in his
mind; the quiet calm of not even an hour earlier, curled together on
the sofa--the heat of their lovemaking--the patter of the rain.... It
was almost suffocating, and he couldn\'t help but wriggle out a little
from under the press of Goku\'s hands. \"Sorry,\" he
muttered. \"I\'m...gonna lay down for a bit.\"

//But Huyen....// Shrinking back, Goku finally curled up on his side
of the bed, burrowing deep beneath the covers. //I don\'t want to hurt
him.// Face half buried in his pillow, resting on his stomach, Goku
settled in to try and sleep. \"Come lay down,\" he muttered, trying to
keep his voice light. \"It\'s chilly.\"

Huyen frowned, but he was already slipping beneath the blankets as
well, shifting closer to Goku. He wanted to apologize again,
but...talking about it would make it worse, and he didn\'t want to
think about it now. \"Come closer.\"

Goku obeyed without comment, wiggling closer and turning slightly,
just enough that his forehead was now against Huyen\'s shoulder. He
was frustrated, though, as he knew well enough what was happening; he
knew what that slight tension in the other\'s back was, that strained
tone in his voice. //But I don\'t want him to hurt anymore,// he
reminded himself fiercely. //Even if...he doesn\'t want to remember,
doesn\'t want to remember me....// He wrapped an arm around Huyen\'s
waist, lightly tugging them together. //I don\'t want him to hurt
anymore.//

\"Goku....\" Huyen sighed, twisting his hand to brush at the boy\'s
hair. \"You know it\'s not that I….\" //It hurts. As if there\'s
something…I don\'t want to reer./er.// \"Maybe it\'s better this way,\"
he said quietly, even knowing it was the last thing Goku would want
to hear. \"If there\'s something I\'m not supposed to remember....\"

Goku flinched, a cold jolt going down his spine that made his jaw
clench painfully. //Better...this way....// He tried to keep his
shoulders from hunching, but he still felt like he was curling
anyway, his arm slowly pulling back as he clasped it to his
chest. \"Mmm...\" he hummed softly, tugging the blankets higher. \"If
you think so....\" //Not supposed to remember. He...wants to forget
me....// Goku turned his head into the mattress. \"I\'m gonna sleep
now,\" he whispered, hoping...Huyen would stop talking like that.

Huyen winced. //Damn. Wasn\'t that…the last thing I should have
said?// \"Goku....\" //Shit, now I did it. But he just doesn\'t
understand....// \"I didn\'t mean it like that,\" he tried, even knowing
it was probably too late. \"I just...it\'s hard for me.\" He knew it was
probably harder for Goku than him, but...it scared him, sometimes--
there had to be a reason he seemed to be the only one who couldn\'t
remember.

\"I know--it\'s fine,\" he replied, quickly but quietly, though he was
still tense. It didn\'t help that the storm was getting closer, the
wind and rain making the windows rattle. \"I don\'t want you to hurt
anymore, so it\'s okay.\" //Please, stop talking about it.// He curled
a little tighter, wiggling close so the top of his head pressed
lightly against Huyen\'s chest.

//It\'s not just that. But....// Huyen slipped an arm around Goku\'s
shoulders and held him tight against his chest. \"I am happy here,\" he
murmured truthfully against still-damp hair. \"Here with you,
Goku.\" //Let\'s let that be enough, for now.//

Goku nodded faintly. //You weren\'t so sure before....// But he didn\'t
want to push the issue further--he was already feeling more exhausted
than he had when he\'d left the shower. //I\'m glad you\'re here,
but.... You don\'t know how important this is, for either of us....//
Goku sighed quietly against his lover\'s shirt. \"I\'m gonna sleep,\" he
murmured again.

//Damnit.// But there wasn\'t anything else he could say, and Huyen
closed his eyes as he relaxed into the mattress. He wasn\'t sure how
well he was going to sleep, though. \"Goodnight,\" he replied quietly,
drawing the blankets more tightly around them. //I\'m sorry, Goku....//

---

Goku didn\'t sleep well. He was continually being awoken by the
thunder, and he eased out of Huyen\'s arms to avoid waking him. When
he did sleep, he was haunted with dreams, and they eventually turned
back to the first few years of his long life.

\"No....\" Goku flopped onto his back, shaking, his hands scratching at
the mattress as he struggled beneath the misty visions. \"Don\'t....\"

Huyen, who hadn\'t slept well either, opened his eyes at the sound of
Goku\'s voice beside him. He watched him for a moment. //See what I
mean? Remembering the past....// With a quiet sigh he leaned closer,
giving Goku a shake. \"Hey, Goku--wake up. It\'s me.\"

Goku moaned and jerked away. \"Don\'t....\" He shuddered, turning away
from the other. \"Please...don\'t kill me.\" Goku kicked at the
blankets, throwing them off as he struggled against invisible
fs. \s. \"No...no wait!\" He reached out suddenly, voice growing
panicked. \"Stop--Nataku, no!\"

//Goku?// Huyen started to reach for him, but when he heard the name
Nataku, something hot and searing jolted up his spine, making him
gasp. //What? Nataku…that name, I….// Suddenly shaking, Huyen grabbed
the boy\'s shoulder, trying to rouse him. \"Goku--\" But his throat
seemed to close off suddenly, and he pulled back, clutching at his
chest. //No…no, I don\'t want to remember!//

Goku suddenly howled, his voice thick with despair as he reached for
the vision he couldn\'t catch. His headband burned, hissing against
his skin, and he was thrown awake by the slight pain. \"Nataku!\" He
sat up, staring around blindly, eyes wide and
frightened. \"Na...Nataku....\" //A dream....// Panting, he pressed a
trembling hand over his eyes. //Just...a dream....//

Huyen glanced up, but his eyes had begun to water, and he pressed his
face forward, into his bent knees. //It\'s cold. It\'s so cold, and I…I
can\'t breathe….// \"Go...\" //Help me.// His mind was whirling with
blurred images, none of which he recognized, making his head throb.

Still shaken, Goku slowly raised his eyes, regarding the figure
beside him. His mind was fuzzy as he watched the boy--this wasn\'t
Konzen. It was just some boy, crying and trembling. He regarded him
numbly for a few moments before stretching out a hand, setting it
gingerly on the other\'s shoulder. //It\'s...Huyen.// His eyes narrowed.

Huyen took in a long, shaky breath at the touch, which shocked him
into breathing normally again. But it was still so cold, and his
chest ached. //I\'m still dying,// some voice in him whispered, and he
whimpered, his voice thin and pained. //I\'m dying, over and
over....// \"Goku....\"

//I...I can\'t do this now, Huyen.// He closed his eyes, breathing
deeply. The skin beneath his headband was tingling painfully as if
burned. \"Come here,\" he whispered, barely registering that he had
spoken at all. He tugged gently on the boy\'s shoulder.

Huyen shivered, and though at first he started to follow the gentle
prodding he pulled away at the last second. \"I\'m all right,\" he
croaked, scrubbing at his eyes. A few deep breaths started to calm
him, letting the visions fade into the back of his mind. Slowly, he
uncurled, though he still kept a hand pressed to his chest. It almost
felt like he now bore a scar there.

Goku continued to watch him--watch him pull away, like he always did.
Hiding. Forgetting. His hand slipped slowly off Huyen\'s shoulder,
dropping limply to the bed. //I can\'t do this now.// \"Okay then.\" He
crawled clumsily to the edge of the bed, stumbling to his feet as he
began to head out of the room. //I just can\'t now.//

Huyen glanced up sharply, surprised that Goku was actually leaving.
It sent another chill through him, deeper than that from a moment
ago. //Wait…I didn\'t mean....// But his lips couldn\'t form the words,
and he lowered his eyes as he pulled his knees to his chest once
more. //Just go then, if the past hurts so much,// he thought
bitterly as Goku reached the door. //I\'m not who you wanted
anyway....//

Not bothering to turn on the lights, Goku pattered in the dark to the
kitchen. He dug through the cabinets until he came up with a half-
eaten box of chocolate cookies. He thought he was heading towards the
table, to a chair, but somehow he ended up on the floor, leaning into
the corner of the counter as he blindly stuffed cookies into his
mouth.

Huyen was still for a long time, listening to some of the rustling
from the other room. //Goku…damnit, you don\'t understand.// He
slipped out of bed at last, hunting out a cigarette. It tasted good
even on trembling lips. He hated this. Hated the hollow chill in his
stomach, hated knowing Goku was in the next room expecting so much
from him--hated knowing he was too weak to grant it even more. It
just...wasn\'t fair, and he hissed curses at his reflection in the
mirror as his cigarette slowly burned down.

Once the last of the crumbs had been dumped into his mouth, Goku
remained curled in the kitchen, feeling the chill of the room
settling into his unmoving limbs. He didn\'t realize he was crying
until salt dripped onto his lips, but he was too tired to do anything
about it. //Nataku....// He tilted his head back, listening to the
sound of metal on wood. //If you had lived...what would you be doing?
If you hadn\'t killed...yourself....// He shivered. //Would you be
here now? Would you forgive me?//

Eventually Goku forced himself to his feet and made his way back to
the bedroom. He had no idea what he was going to say to Huyen--he
didn\'t even know if he\'d stopped crying--but he was cold and
exhausted and hoping that, maybe, he could find some comfort in their
bed.

Huyen glanced up as Goku entered once more. He could see immediately
that he\'d been crying. //Well…no, I didn\'t want that.// By now his
cigarette had burned down, and he slipped the butt into a nearby
ashtray. \"Goku.\" He offered a hand, hoping...they could maybe just
push past it for now, since they were both weary and torn.

He came forward obediently, dropping heavily onto the bed and taking
Huyen\'s hand. \"Huyen....\" Somehow, being there and feeling the warmth
of his lover\'s skin...he felt foolish. He wanted to just fall against
him, wanted to curl close and just lose himself a little. //But
before...he was....// \"Are you...okay?\"

\"Yeah, I\'m okay.\" Huyen tugged him closer, keeping their hands
entwined as he pressed his face briefly into Goku\'s hair. \"Are you?\"

Shivering, Goku hesitantly leaned closer, chest tight and
trembling. //I\'ll just...hurt him.// \"I....\" He bit his lip. //I need
you. I want you to understand....// \"I...had a bad dream,\" he finally
whispered, shoulders hunching faintly.

Huyen closed his eyes. \"I know.\" His fingers tightened. //I\'m not
going to let it get to me.// \"It was...the past, right? A long time
ago.\"// Maybe…if I can just pretend it\'s not really me. It wasn\'t
really me, back then.//

Goku nodded, hiee hee hand rising to curl around Huyen\'s shirt. He
didn\'t want to give in, to say everything and risk hurting his lover
more, but the slight encouragement wore away at his
convictions. \"I...killed him, you know,\" he murmured into Huyen\'s
shoulder. \"It was my fault--all of it....\"

Huyen only needed a deep breath to keep himself calm, and then he was
turning slightly, drawing Goku into his arms. Finding something to
say, however, wasn\'t nearly as simple--he didn\'t even know who Goku
meant. But he had to trust his instincts, as he had no other
choice. \"Do you really believe that?\"

\"Yes,\" he whispered, shivering but pulling closer all the
same. \"I...I was his friend. Maybe....\" Goku\'s shoulders hunched,
throat closing so he almost couldn\'t get the words out. \"It should
have been me. If he had killed me...none of it would have happened.
Everyone would still be alive....\" New tears stung his eyes as he
clung to his lover.

Despite his earlier decision Huyen found himself reaching back, into
his own cold dreams, trying to understand what Goku was telling
him. //Nataku.// His teeth clenched as he fought back his own
shiver. //If Nataku had killed him....// \"No,\" he found himself
saying, tilting his head so that his lips whispered against Goku\'s
ear when he spoke. \"No, I don\'t believe that. If you had died...\" The
thought made his insides twist painfully. //Then I\'d still be alone
here.//

Goku shook his head, breath shaking around his tears. \"But everyone
would have lived,\" he said tremulously. \"All of you...you\'d still be
alive. You wouldn\'t be going through...all of this....\" //All this
death...all because of me....// \"You wouldn\'t be hurting now,
Huyen....\"

//I\'m no good at this.// But Huyen stayed firm, running his hand up
and down Goku\'s back. \"I don\'t believe that,\" he said again. \"If you
were gone...\" He swallowed hard against a surge of mysterious
emotion. \"I wouldn\'t be here, either.\"

Goku pulled back slowly, just so he could see his lover\'s face. //But
Huyen...you\'re hurting. If you hadn\'t left Heaven....// \"What if you
were happier there,\" he asked, voice small and barely audible over
the rain. \"You...you had everything--you were everything. And Ten and
brother Ken....\" He glanced away. \"Maybe...you would have been
happier there....\"

Though Huyen couldn\'t help but shudder at the names being thrown
about, his face didn\'t change as he met Goku\'s eyes. \"I don\'t know,\"
he admitted quietly. \"I...don\'t even remember what I had. But I know
that here, in this life....\" He had to lower his gaze suddenly, as if
weighed down by too much truth. \"...I didn\'t have anything,
until...you….\"

Shoulders drooping, he nodded faintly. //I wish...you could....//
Leaning forward, he touched their foreheads together. //I guess, in
the end, it doesn\'t matter. It would just be nice...if you knew....
If you could tell me all this...is okay....// \"I\'m sorry this hurts
you,\" he murmured, \"but...I\'m glad you\'re here. I\'m glad I found
you.\" Goku brushed their lips together faintly, just to touch.

Huyen moved just slightly enough to meet him in a real kiss, hoping
to reassure him. \"And I\'m sorry I can\'t remember more,\" he offered
quietly. \"But I\'m glad, too.\" //You don\'t know where I\'d probably be,
if not for this.// He started to lean back, urging Goku to follow him
back on the bed. \"I don\'t know if we\'ll sleep, but...let\'s just stay
together for now. All right?\"

Goku licked his lips before crawling over the other, supporting
himself on his elbows so he could still watch him. \"Huyen....\" He
spread hesitant fingers through Huyen\'s soft hair, brushing over the
pale dot on his forehead. \"Do you think...you\'ll ever remember? I
know it\'s hard for you, but...maybe...?\"

Huyen\'s eyes thinned slightly. \"I\'m not sure,\" he admitted. \"But I\'ve
been gaining some of it back, bit by bit....\" He rubbed lightly at
Goku\'s shoulder and side. \"So eventually...\" But that didn\'t sound
very convincing, and he craned his neck to nuzzle Goku\'s cheek. \"With
time,\" he said at last. \"I just need some time, that\'s all.\"

\"Maybe...you should talk to Lan?\" he suggested meekly. \"I mean...I
don\'t really know what could...help you. It might be easier if you
talked with him.\" Goku wiggled faintly, feeling some small rise of
hope. //At least he sounds like...he wants to. Even if earlier....//

\"Maybe,\" Huyen conceded, even if he was still unsure. He liked Lan--
the elder man seemed to calm him somehow--but didn\'t like how
deliberate this all seemed. //I just want to be happy here. But if
this is what they want….// \"All right,\" he replied, drawing Goku down
to him. \"I\'ll talk to him.\"

Pleased, Goku kissed him softly before rolling onto his
side. \"Thanks, Huyen.\" He wiggled close so clean-smelling hair
tickled his nose. \"You know...there were good things, too.\" //Things
worth remembering.// Goku ran his hand over Huyen\'s chest in a slow
caress.

\"I know.\" Huyen slipped his hand over his, lacing their fingers
together. \"I\'m sure...it\'ll come back to me.\" And suddenly he was
looking forward to meeting with Lan, if only so that he could explain
some of what he was thinking.

//Good.// Goku whispered his lips briefly over Huyen\'s ear, then
settled down to sleep. \"I\'m tired now,\" he said quietly, curling
close. \"I\'m...gonna try to sleep....\"

\"Okay.\" Huyen closed his eyes at last, and was almost pleased by how
exhausted he felt when the room went dark once more. \"Me too.\" He
turned, hoping to grant Goku one last kiss, but his lips met only
metal. \"Goodnight, Goku.\"

\"G\'night,\" he murmured. He fell asleep almost at once as the storm
outside began to drift away.

---

Lan brought out two cups of tea, smiling as he sat down beside
Huyen. \"I\'m glad you could come to visit, though I\'m afraid my
apartment isn\'t much.\" He offered one to his companion. \"Now, you
wanted to talk to me about the past, right? About your memory.\"

\"Yes….\" Huyen held the cup lightly in both hands, watching the liquid
swirl with he tipped it slightly. He\'d come, likeu hau had asked of
him, even if he was feeling unsure now. \"I\'m sorry. But it\'s been
hard on him, and…maybe if I could offer him something....\"

Lan chuckled softly before sipping from his own cup. \"I understand.\"
He reached for the plate of crackers he\'d set out earlier. \"I know
what you\'re going through, and I\'ll do my best for you.\"

//I wonder if you really do....// Huyen took a slow sip of the tea,
but it tasted almost too bitter. \"Last night, he had a nightmare,\" he
began to explain slowly. \"Just listening to him, muttering in his
sleep like that….\" He glanced away shamefully. \"It hurts. Every time
I try to think too hard on it, it just...hurts, all over.\"

He nodded sympathetically. \"Are some times...worse than others?\" he
tried, watching the boy quietly. \"Anything that you can remember that
makes it especially bad?\"

\"I\'m not sure,\" he admitted. \"But when he talks about...our first
lives, I think--that\'s the worst, I suppose.\" Even now he felt a
shiver go through him, and he might have been able to hide it if not
for the ripples spread through his tea.

\"Ahh....\" He took another sip before shifting closer. \"I will tell
you this, because I\'ve already figured this much out, and it should
be easier just hearing it.\" Lan met his eyes seriously. \"Strange as
this may sound, I\'ve come to believe that three of us--you, myself,
and Jin--were once gods, and Goku used to live in Heaven with us.\"

Huyen blinked dumbly. Of all the things he might have expected to
hear.... He straightened, trying to judge Lan\'s sincerity. \"Gods?\" he
repeated, reaching one hand to rub vaguely at his
forehead. \"In...Heaven...? That\'s...\" He snorted. \"That\'s ridiculous.
Isn\'t it?\"

Lan smiled faintly. \"Then how do you explain that birthmark on your
forehead?\" he pressed. \"Do you really think it is very common for a
boy like you to have a chakra?\" He tilted his head faintly.

Huyen let his hand fall, and he returned his tea to the table without
another sip. \"I suppose you\'re right,\" he murmured, though doing his
best not to think on it too long. \"You think that\'s why I can\'t
remember? If we were gods....\"

He nodded. \"I can only remember vague images myself, a..\"..\" Lan\'s
gaze lowered, though only for a moment. \"I get the feeling that there
was some disaster, because somehow...we all died.\" Lan edged closer
so their knees were nearly touching. \"I want to ask Goku about this,
but I think whatever happened...had something to do with his
imprisonment.\"

\"It was….\" Huyen pressed his eyes shut as he called back his memories
from the night before. \"Nataku.\" He licked his lips, though it
suddenly felt as if his whole mouth had gone dry. \"Nataku was
supposed to kill him, but instead...and then we....\"

\"Nataku....\" Lan shivered, glancing down at his tea. \"Nataku was the
only one allowed to kill as punishment.... But Goku....\" He frowned,
feeling the familiar ache start behind his eyes. He sighed
quietly. \"If anyone tried to hurt him, I know...I probably would have
done anything to stop them.\" //Even...die?// His body shuddered with
a sudden chill. //Yes, for him I would have. For any of them
but...especially Goku, because Konze--// He pressed a hand against
his temple, jaw tight as he fought back the hot pressure within his
skull.

Huyen glanced up, feeling a bit of inappropriate satisfaction. //So,
it does hurt him, too. I\'m not the only one.// \"Maybe we\'re not
supposed to remember,\" he hazarded quietly, wondering if his
reasoning would be any more effective on Lan.

Lan immediately shook his head. \"You should know better--this is
karma.\" His smile trembled with remaining pain, though it remained
strong. \"We were reborn, weren\'t we? We\'re here to make up
for...whatever mistakes we\'ve made.\" He sat up a bit straighter. \"If
we really did...prevent Goku\'s death, that would have been going
against Heaven\'s will, wouldn\'t it.\" Lan chuckled. \"Sounds
like...something we would do.\"

Huyen\'s teeth ground together, suddenly unable to meet the other\'s
eyes. \"Maybe. But doesn\'t that mean we\'re being punished?\" He stood
up--the stillness was getting to him. \"If Goku and I were really...I
can understand, if I did do something, but all this....\" He rubbed at
his forehead, which even now was beginning to ache.

Lan regarded him quietly a moment, letting the ache fade as he
stopped pushing the memories. \"Maybe this has been punishment,\" he
agreed. \"But...you and I haven\'t met for quite a while, right? And
this is the first time you\'ve seen Goku since our second lives, or so
he tells me.\" He took a brief drink. \"We must be paying our debts
even a little, if we\'ve been allowed to find each other again, don\'t
you think?\"

Huyen snorted. \"A thousand years later?\" he challenged, stuffing his
hands in his pockets. \"Meeting by accident, unable to remember
anything, when we\'re already so....\" He faltered a moment. //No,
Huyen, you were the only one like that.// He took a deep breath and
continued. \"That doesn\'t sound like mercy to me. It sounds like a
coincidence.\"

Lan shook his head. \"That you and Jin were born in the same city Goku
was currently living in? That the only hospital that accepted my
application happened to the one closest to the rest of you? Somehow,
that seems like too a big of a coincidence.\" He drank again, then set
the empty cup aside. \"After all, it wouldn\'t have been hard to
imprison Goku again, or to scatter our souls across the world. No, I
think Buddha has put us here, together.\"

//Buddha....// But when Huyen even began to consider the possibility
something white and hot flashed behind his eyes, and before he knew
what was happening he was falling to his knees. \"Lan--\" But like
before his chest began to ache, and he clutched at his head as he
began to tremble. //No--no, don\'t make me remember!//

Startled by the immediate reaction, Lan hurried to the boy\'s
side. \"Huyen?\" Lan set a firm hand on the boy\'s shoulder. //It…
shouldn\'t hurt that much. What could have...?// \"Huyen, what is it?\"

Huyen shook his head fiercely, even as it made him nauseous. \"Don\'t,\"
he gasped. He twisted one hand in the front of Lan\'s shirt to help
keep him upright. \"It hurts….\" When he tried to open his eyes he saw
only black and red, mixing together before him….

//What did this? Was it....// \"Huyen.\" He took both the boy\'s
shoulders. \"I know it hurts, but running won\'t help. You have to face
it.\" Lan flinched at Huyen\'s shaking, but he had to do this; Huyen
had to face his memories, or he\'d never get over the pain.

Huyen tried to pull away from him, but he couldn\'t get his bearings
to know which way to go. \"I don\'t want to!\" he cried, burying his
face in his hands. \"I don\'t….\" He choked on a thick, pained sob. \"I
don\'t want to die again!\"

----------------------