Emperor\'s Bride

FINALLY I’m able zu update again. It’s been a VERY VERY long time, and I’m VERY VERY sorry for the long wait. Actually, this chapter was finished a long time ago, around octobre last year, but when I sent it to my beta I totally forgot about it and my beta did too. And when I finally remembered it, it was already around march or so. And then I wasn’t able to update because of the whole Aff-Net-moving-thing. I just discovered that I’m able to update again.
Anyways, I want to THANK all my wonderfull REVIEWERS for putting up with me for so long and PLEASE don’t be too angry with me (though I can understand if you all are VERY angry with me, I certainly would be furious!)
And of course I want to THANK my beta too!

PLEASE READ THE A/N:

A/N: this chapter contains SEXUAL MATERIAL, sex with a MINOR as well as some RAPE (I’m not sure if it could really be called “rape”, but just to make sure) , ANGST (I think it’s actually pretty sad and dark, but that’s just my opinion)
and MPREG
So I’ve finally decided to make this story mpreg, as many of my reviewers wished. I thought about it for a long time, and now I’ll just do it. But in this chapter the mpreg is only mentioned.

A/N: This chapter actually is the first of three “praeteritus”-stories. “praeteritus” is latin and means past, so this three stories will show the pasts of three characters, which I think will explain a few things about theses characters. Like why they do certain things and act like they do.
The first “praeteritus” –stoy is about Ryuichi. I wont tell who the oher two characters will be in the “praeteritus” – stories but I think one can tell.

And now finally: on with the story!

Praeteritus:

The sun shone through the palace’s windows, covering everything with a bright gleam. The birds outside in the gardens and around the palace filled the air with their beautiful melodies, as the leaves were pressed against the glass by the strong wind that dominated the day. The young prince lay back against the pillows of his bed, not caring if the sun shone or if the world crashed down. He covered his black eyes with the back of his right hand to shield them from the sunlight, not feeling well enough to tell one of the servants to pull the curtains in front of the window. In fact, he didn\'t even feel well enough to speak, stand, walk, eat or sleep.

His body felt lifeless and weak, as if he was sick. His father had already sent a doctor, believing that he had a fever or something of this sort; but Tatsuha knew that a doctor couldn’t heal the sort of pain he felt. Although he knew what the best medicine would be, he couldn\'t bring up enough energy to look for it, to run through the whole palace to search for it.

In the past three weeks the burden, the palace, and the people that lived in it had become unbearable and heavy. The pink haired boy hadn\'t woken up and the hopes that he would sank from day to day. Tatsuha had given up trying to cheer his brother up. In fact, he hadn\'t even seen his brother in the past few days. He, himself, had locked himself in his room, unwilling to speak to anyone.

The young prince turned around so that his back was facing the window. He couldn\'t take it much longer. He couldn’t take all the noise from the birds and the servants, that were happily chatting all day long, it was making him sick. He knew that maybe he was a little bit too sensitive, that maybe he should just live on, but he just couldn\'t. He couldn\'t even describe the feelings he felt at that moment. He just felt weak, his body felt heavier by each passing day [1] and he knew he was too weak to even carry his own weight; he was lifeless. And all because of one, one creature that he couldn\'t even remember clearly anymore. He knew that just a few days ago he had been able to remember every detail about his little angel, every single detail, but now his head hurt and his mind was blank.

If he just would be able to sleep, maybe he would dream of him and remember.


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“You know Shuichi, it\'s really sad around here without your laughter, your hyper attitude, your happiness. Everything is so...I don\'t know how to describe it......empty? Yeah, empty, at least for me and the prince. You should see him now; how he acts around you when he’s sitting by your side and thinks nobody’s watching. He comes here everyday almost, and sometimes I sit around here too. Sometimes we talk; sometimes we just sit and think. I believe he really cares about you, you know. I told him that you would like it for sure if he talked to you, but he said he didn\'t believe that you could hear him. But, you know, I saw it in his eyes that he believes it too. I\'m so lonely here without you. There\'s nobody to speak to anymore. I\'m just sitting in my room all day long and wait till the time comes when I can come and visit you.”

With his trembling hand Ryuichi brushed away a few sweaty strands from Shuichi\'s forehead and caressed his cheek. He was alone today, since the prince wasn\'t there to accompany him.

“I really wish you would wake up, Shuichi. I miss you so much and I\'m not the only one. Ukai-san misses you too. This morning some guy was here. I don\'t remember his name, he had long reddish hair. He said he had wanted to come and visit you pr a long time now. He kind of seemed irritated that you are lying in this room. I think he believes that you\'re a servant, though. As for the prince...I think you can imagine how much he misses you. But, I\'m ashamed I have to tell you that you\'re not the only one I\'m missing. I told you about him, didn\'t I? And I miss him, but I know.....” he felt as if his voice had fled his body. He quickly swallowed a big sob, already feeling his eyes watering with tears.

“You know, Shuichi; I\'ve been feeling really sick these days. And at first I didn\'t know why, but I think I do now. I’ve mentioned it to you, do you remember? My family and what\'s so special about us, our blood. When I think about it I have to remember the last time…back then...do you remember now....we were nothing more than children then, but I longed so badly to be an adult. I think you know what I\'m talking about, don\'t you?”

With these words, tears began to run down Ryuichi\'s cheeks and his mind became profound as he remembered.


~~ Flashback~~


It was a rainy day. The fog was thick and covered the whole countryside. The old carriage drove up a bumpy road. Trees and old cottages could be seen from the inside of the carriage, where a little, five-year old boy was held tightly in the arms of his mother. The cold wind biting at his skin.

“Where are we going?” he asked with his small voice. His mother played with his silky brown hair, pressing him harder against her.

“We are on the way to our new home. We’ll be working in this big house from now on” she answered. In the other corner of the carriage Ryuichi could hear his father sigh.

“Why?” the little boy asked, not understanding. “Why can’t we return to our village, to our house?”

“Because, my dear, we have debts we can’t pay. We have to work harder now so that we can return to our house someday.”

When the little boy looked out of the tiny window of the old carriage, he could see the big house his mother had told him about. The fog surrounding the house made it look scary, as if coming near it guaranteed death. Quickly he buried his face in his mother’s clothes again.

“Welcome!” the family was greeted by a middle-aged man.

He looked at Ryuichi with authoritarian eyes, making the young boy feel uncomfortable. He hid behind his mother.

“You will be introduced immediately.” he continued as he showed them the way

“Will we see the emperor?” Ryuichi whispered to his mother as they walked through a long corridor.

“No, honey.” She told him. “This is not the palace you know. And we’re just servants so…”

As soon as they had moved into their new rooms, Ryuichi’s parents had been sent to work immediately, leaving Ryuichi all alone. His mother had told him that he could wander around the house, but he had to be careful of where he went. At the moment he was now trying to find the kitchen, feeling hungry. He had been told not to go into any rooms, but he was a curious boy, after all. Going down the hallways he opened one door after another, discovering nothing special or interesting enough to catch his attention. But there was one room that was different from all the others. This room was filled with toys, a big comfortable bed, and many big cushioned pillows to sit on the floor. The little child went into the room, not really knowing what he was doing or remembering his mother’s words. He picked up one of the toys lying about and looked at it. It was a cute, pink bunny [2].

“What are you doing here?”

Ryuichi quickly dropped the toy bunny and turned around. He was frightened; but when he saw a little kid behind him, with bright pink hair, and alluring big violet eyes, his fear vanished.

“I’m Ryuichi.” the five-year old said, not really sure what to tell the boy.

The pink-haired boy, which appeared to be a little younger than him, walked up to the young servant and picked up the pink bunny.

“You’re the new servant, ne? My father told me about you. You’ll be living here, ne?” Ryuichi stared at the little kid. The kid’s clothing had to be more expensive than all of his possessions.

“No” the older boy said. “We’ll be moving back to our house soon.”

One year later…Ryuichi’s parents died. They never did move back.

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They had been more than happy back then, at the age of thirteen and twelve. They’d had the time to play, and do whatever they wanted, and they always had time to sleep in. Ryuichi had been a servant of the Shindou house for as long as he could remember. As far as he could tell, his parents had been too, but they had died a long time ago. The young boy didn’t really remember them.

It was a foggy day, and a heavy dust rose up from the ground surrounding everything. The night before heavy storms had occurred and Shuichi had come to Ryu’s room in the night, afraid of the thunder.

The young servant sat by the window and watched as the wind toyed with the leaves in the air before he let them fall to the ground again.

“What are you doing, Ryuichi?” asked a very excited Shuichi, as he jumped up and down behind his friend and servant.

The room they were in was made out of wood and the big chimney heated the small room. A heavy smell from the few candles that were lit filled the air and made it hard to breath from time to time.

“Shuichi, is you father expecting guests today?” the thirteen-year old boy asked, not turning his gaze away from the window.

“Don\'t know.” the other boy chirped happily. Sometimes, Ryu wondered how someone could be this happy, even on a day like this, when the sun didn\'t shine and the air was cool.

“Why are you asking?” The shorter boy asked as he came up behind Ryuichi and hugged him, pressing himself hard against the older boy.

It was something he did every time he wanted to know something. Ryuichi pushed his friend away a little, afraid he would be pressed against the cold glass of the window, if Shuichi didn\'t let him go.

“Look.” he said and pointed out of the window. At first the pink haired boy couldn\'t see anything, but after a while the shadow within the fog became clearer and he could make out a carriage that drove up the little hill to the Shindou house.

“Look Ryuichi, look!” the boy shouted and began to jump up and down again. The young servant just smirked at his friend’s tactics.

“I will go and ask mother about it!” Shuichi told the older boy and was out of the room within a second.

Ryuichi watched as the carriage came to a halt in front of the house and two servants rushed to open it. They were dressed in good clothing; so Ryuichi supposed that the owner of the carriage had to be rich. Only rich people could afford to dress their servants this nicely.

An older man, about forty, came out of the carriage. Ryuichi couldn\'t really make out what he was wearing because the wind blew the fog in his direction, but he could tell he was fat.

Then a woman around thirty came out and Ryuichi had to swallow a laugh; she looked like a horse. Then, when he thought that there would be nobody left, another person came out of the carriage. A young man, to be exact, not much older than Ryuichi, maybe seventeen at the most, stepped into view. Ryuichi was soon captivated by him, mostly by his eyes.

He couldn\'t tell how he looked exactly, or what he wore, heck, he couldn\'t even be sure what color his hair was. But he could clearly see his midnight dark eyes that seemed so piercing...as if he was nailed to the window, he just couldn\'t bring himself to look away. And then, as everyone was going into the house, the young man looked up, right at his window, right at him.

“Ryuichi, come on!”

Suddenly Shuichi\'s voice echoed through his head. He wasn\'t really sure anymore from what direction his friend had called him, but he was sure he had been able to tell just a second ago, but now...


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Ryuichi waited all day long to see the young man again, to see those eyes. He wasn\'t sure what it was, but he couldn\'t recognize the feeling, but every time he thought of those piercing black eyes he shivered. Servants weren\'t allowed to eat with the family, especially not when there were guests in the house, but after dinner Ryuichi could manage to get Shuichi into telling him about the guests.

“Oh, they were so boring. He’s an old friend of my father. He really is a drinker you know; I didn’t know there was anybody who could drink as much as my father but hey....boy was I wrong, and he\'s a pervert too. Imagine, he stared at me the whole dinner and asked me about this and that. He\'s really scary Ryuichi!” Shuichi told him as they sat in a tiny room that was lit by a lonely candle as they made themselves comfortable on the bed.

“I\'m sure you’re just imagine things.” the servant said and leaned back against the wall. “No, no!” Shuichi said, hugging his legs to his body and laying his chin on his knees. “He really is a pervert…”

“What\'s about the other man?” Ryuichi asked eager to hear about the young man. He felt his body shiver again and knew that his cheeks had become red, but he was glad that Shuichi didn\'t see it. “Oh, yeah. Mmmm...he didn\'t really talk much. He\'s the son of the perverted, boy-lusting man. Ryuichi, I\'m afraid of him.” Shuichi said and leaned his head on Ryuichi\'s shoulder. “Don\'t be stupid!” the servant said, but he really hadn\'t listened to his friend.

Then they fell silent. Ryuichi didn\'t really want to talk; his eyes lay on the flame of his candle, fascinated by the way it danced in the air, but his mind was on an adventure of its own.


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The next day Shuichi sat alone in his room. It was beautiful outside. After the frequent storms had passed the sun shone again. It was still chilly outside, but just watching the birds while they built there nests again after they had been destroyed by the heavy wind was enough distraction for the young boy. And it was so much more interesting than learning.

“Shuichi!”

When the young pink haired boy turned around he was faced with a seeming more than happy Ryuichi, who had just came into the room. His friend seemed to glow; a huge difference from yesterday night, where the boy had just sat there and said nothing.

“Guess what happened! Wait, no, don\'t guess! You wouldn\'t guess it even if I told you!”

“Ryuichi, what are you talking about. That\'s nonsense what you say, do you know that?” Shuichi asked, slightly irritated with his friend, who quickly sat down beside him but seemed like he would jump around in the room any minute.

“The boy, no, the young man, you know, the son of the pervert...”

“Yes that perverted, fat, old man.” Shuichi interrupted him, making a fist and punching a pillow that lay on the floor. “Yeah” Ryuichi began again. “Yesterday night, when I walked through the corridor, after I bought you to your room, I walked past him and he quickly recognized me. You know, I told you about how he looked up at me when he and his parents arrived, didn\'t I? “

Shuichi shook his head.

“It doesn\'t matter. So I met him again, this time in person, and we began to talk and you know what, he\'s really nice and all and we walked around and I guided him through the house and showed him everything. He was so impressed about the library. He likes to read, you know; and we sat there and talked and talked and talked. He\'s really seventeen, like I guessed. Isn\'t that cool? He\'s not much older than me!”

At this Shuichi looked at his friend with irritation in his gaze.

“Not much older than you, Ryuichi? He\'s four years older!” the boy said.

“Three. I mean, I am turning fourteen...”

“In six months” the pink haired boy reminded him.

But Ryuichi acted as if he hadn\'t heard this. “Age doesn\'t matter, Shuichi. The important thing is that he kissed me, Shuichi, he kissed me!!!”

At this Shuichi went into shock and fell backwards on the floor. “What?! It\'s nothing bad, you know. In our family, it\'s not so rare for two men...you know. But the really, really, really, really important thing is that he said he liked me and I told him I liked him too so.....”

Shuichi sat up again and looked at the young servant. Ryuichi seemed more than just spaced out. From what he had told him it seemed like he hab been in a totally different world for the last 24 hours now.

“Ryuichi, I mean....you don\'t really.....he’s so much older and......“

“But Shuichi, I explained this already, didn\'t I? Age doesn\'t matter.” the servant told his younger friend, but he already was in his own little world.

“Yes, it does matter. What do you think this guy wants from you?....you know, Ryu.....the “one thing”” Shuichi said. He didn\'t really know why but he didn’t have a good feeling about this guy. Before the young boy could say anything more Ryuichi quickly stood up. He seemed everything but spaced out. No, actually he looked really angry. His face red and his eyes turning cold as looked at Shuichi.

“What do you know? You\'re just a little kid. I\'m telling you he\'s really nice and I really care about him and he feels the same. But you can\'t accept that. You\'re just jealous because you aren\'t the only one that I like now. No, wait, you are jealous because you don\'t have someone like I do. All you want is for me to spend my whole life looking after you and watching you as you marry and have a great life while I\'m alone!”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Ryuichi knew that he had gone too far. Shuichi wasn\'t like that and he knew it; but he just was so angry. It was true after all. He had nobody to hold him, to comfort him. At least nobody like a family or something like that. Shuichi had all of it and sometimes acted as if his parents annoyed him. He should be happy to even have a family. No, it was himself who had always been jealous, but now he had someone. Even if he didn\'t know him too well.

The young servant could see that he had hurt Shuichi. Shuichi’s body seemed to tremble and as his voice trembled as he screamed: “Get out”


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A few hours after the incident night came, covering everything like a dark blanket. There were no stars, no moon, only clouds could be seen in the sky.

“There will be thunder again tonight.”

A cold shiver spread through Ryuichi\'s body as he heard that voice. It was more of surprise than anything else. He had sat there for hours now, in his room, not really thinking but not really in conscience either. He looked at the young man, better known as Jasuke [3], as he closed the door behind him and sat down beside him on the bed.

“Maybe” Ryuichi responded, not really knowing what to say after he had let his anger out on Shuichi. Everything he wanted now was to be hugged so that he could cry. He leaned his head against Jasuke\'s shoulder and took a deep breath. He felt long fingers as they caressed his head, playing with his silky strands.

“You\'re beautiful, you know that” Jasuke said, with something in his voice that Ryuichi didn\'t recognize. It had been there last night too, when they had kissed. He blushed and smiled softly, not really wanting to think about Shuichi and what the other boy had said about Jasuke. What did the pink haired boy know? Ryuichi turned his head and looked up to the young man, not really able to read the look in his eyes.

“Come here.” that voice said again, like yesterday night, and like yesterday night soft lips were pressed against his. At first Ryuichi didn\'t know how to react, it wasn\'t that he hadn\'t suspected this would happen, but it was still new for him. He felt heat spread through his body, heat that tickled him everywhere. It was a pleasant feeling. The friction between their lips soon made Ryuichi lose control of his mind; causing him to think incoherent. His upper lip was caught between Jasuke\'s lips, which at the moment was being nibbled on and bit on gently. After awhile, Ryuichi wasn\'t sure how much time had passed.

Jasuke’s tongue found entrance into his mouth. This wasn\'t like yesterday night, but it still felt nice. The hot tongue circled his own wet muscle and made Ryuichi moan. Soon he felt strong arms wrap around him and an unfamiliar but accepting weight pressed him down onto the mattress of his small bed.

Gentle hands played with his clothes before they were removed. Butterfly kisses were pressed down onto his skin; his chest was wet with saliva and his body burnt of need. Jasuke\'s tongue circled around a nipple, making Ryuichi moan out in pleasure and suck in a deep breath. “God....I.....ngh...” was everything he could manage to say before Jasuke shoved his leg between Ryuichi’s slim thighs, rubbing his throbbing erection against his backside. “Oh ....”

Ryuichi didn\'t know what to do or what he should say. He didn\'t question Jasuke, though; he didn\'t want him to stop. It all seemed so innocent and at the same time like pure sin. “Jasu...Ja...AH!” Sweat covered his body; he was hot, so incredibly hot. Jasuke’s skin on his skin, his mouth on his own, his erection rubbing up against him......

“Spread them.” Jasuke said, his hand caressing the milky skin of Ryuichi’s thigh. He didn\'t look into Ryuichi\'s eyes, instead his gaze lingered on his body; his heated flesh. Ryuichi just did as he was told, too hot to think about his actions. He spread his thighs as far as he could; giving Jasuke plenty of room. He soon felt a soft, hot tongue licking at the creamy skin of his thighs, hands caressing his stomach, tickling him lightly. And then everything went blank, everything became dark as his hard sex disappeared inside of the older boys hot mouth.

“AH...God!!!”

Jasuke gently trailed kisses up and down Ryuichi\'s manhood, making him gasp and toss his head around like a wild animal. His mouth, at first very gentle, but then becoming rough, sucked at the tip, drinking in the pre-cum and swallowing it all. Ryuichi felt one of Jasuke’s hands carefully toy with his balls, stroking them till Ryuichi couldn\'t take it anymore. Then it all stopped.

“You don\'t want to be the only one that\'s pleasured here, do you?” Jasuke whispered into his left ear, his husky and hot breath tickling Ryuichi\'s sensitive skin. He couldn\'t answer, he couldn\'t think. He just laid there, panting and sweating; wanting more. He felt like it was too much too soon, but then again he couldn\'t seem to feel like it was wrong either.

“Turn around.” That voice again. Ryuichi recognized that Jasuke seemed to be in a hurry as he was turned around and laid on his stomach. His head was so incredible heavy and hot, his mind was blank. He felt Jasuke’s fingers caress his gently curved behind; He felt big hands spread his legs open again and then he felt something pressing on his thigh, something hard.

And it was then that Ryuichi could tell that Jasuke was naked too. It seemed silly to him at the moment, pathetic even, that he didn’t notice that the older boy was naked as well. Of course; this was the way it worked, right? “Bend you knees a bit.” Jasuke said, his voice shivering with impatience. Ryuichi did so; feeling like this was the last thing he was going to be able to do. He didn\'t really think about why he had to bend his knees, due to the intensity of their earlier session. Then, with one quick, painful thrust, Jasuke was inside the boy, feeling as immense pleasure spread throug his body.

“Ah!!” Ryuichi was sure that his screams had to be heard throughout the house. Where pleasure and passion had been just a moment ago was now pain, and he felt his knees already straining from Jasuke’s weight. “Be quiet......god, you feel ...hmm…” Were the last words Jasuke spoke as he quickly began thrusting deep inside the younger boy, not caring about his sobs and whimpers. It felt simply too good, too right, too fucking great.

Ryuichi on the other hand didn\'t feel nearly as great. He felt blood leaking from his insides and this horrible throbbing pain that wouldn\'t go away. He couldn\'t think, not because of pleasure this time but from pain, the tearing of his insides. It always seemed that Jasuke would thrust faster, harder, and deeper; all Ryuichi could do was clutch the sheets and press himself more into his pillow. Then, with one final thrust, Jasuke came, spilling his seed deep inside the thirteen-year old boy.

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The next day Ryuichi woke up alone in his bed. At first he couldn\'t remember what had happened, but then the memories came back, along with the immense pain in his back and his behind. He clutched the sheets again, feeling the dried tears on his cheeks. Strange, he couldn\'t remember that he had cried. Jasuke was nowhere to be seen and all he had left was a blood stain on Ryuichi\'s sheets.

He couldn\'t remember when he had ever felt this dirty in his entire life, this alone and this...empty. He couldn\'t believe it either, he wanted to wake up, wake up from this horrible dream. It had felt so nice at first. Maybe it was supposed to be this way; maybe Jasuke didn\'t do it on purpose. Maybe there simply had to be pain.


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Ryuichi didn\'t get the chance to speak to Jasuke again, to ask him all the questions he had wanted to ask. When he heard that the family already had left he just ran in his room, locked the door and wanted to die. He couldn’t describe the feeling of emptiness, his.....it made him sick. And it was only his fault. If he had listened to Shuichi...yeah, then maybe it wouldn’t have happened. Then maybe he wouldn\'t feel so miserable. Could it be that he was just destined to be alone; first his parents, then Jasuke, whom he had trusted wholly. He was so naïve; it made him sick…sick of himself and his naivety.

“Ryuichi please let me come in!”

The young servant recognized the voice as Shuichi\'s own. But he felt too weak to open the door, too empty to even think about it, just so lifeless.

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Two months later Shuichi was happy to see Ryuichi laugh again. His friend had told him everything and he hadn\'t been able to get through to him for a long time. Ryuichi had just been sitting there, not eating, nor paying attention to his surroundings. It had made his heart ache seeing his friend like this and not being able to help him. Anger had taken over his mind for a short period, anger because of the nerve of that guy, who had thought that he could do whatever he wanted with his friend just because Ryuichi was a servant. But now everything seemed to be normal again, or at least Ryuichi was laughing now, which was always a good sign in Shuichi\'s opinion. They had played in the garden for most of the day, played like they were little kids again, and one could say that the young servant was happy again.

“Hey Ryuichi, come over here, look at this!” Shuichi screamed happily and turned around, only to be greeted with an image that would haunt him for a very long time. There on the ground lay his friend, covered all over in blood; his body convulsing and trembling; sweat covering his body. “Ryuichi!!”


~~ End Flashback

“You know, back then I felt like shit. I knew something was wrong with me, but......I probably thought it was just because of...you know. I was simply too young. Too young to have sex, too young to understand. When the doctor told me that I had lost......lost it, I felt like someone had crushed my life into little pieces, I felt as if I could never be happy again. And then, I remember it clearly; I thought it was all my fault, that it was my fault that that idiot left me, my fault that my parents left me, my fault…that my child died.......and I thought I had to somehow punish myself. You remember how I starved myself, right? And then, after awhile, I thought that maybe, if I just slept with enough men, that it would feel nice and that I would feel whole again. And you know, it\'s strange, but I was right, because since then, since I met *him* I feel whole again. But I\'m scared, you know. It scares the hell out of me, this feelings and this.....”
With these last words Ryuichi swallowed the last tears and left the room.

AN:
[1] not like that
[2] the bunny just has to be there!!
[3] I know the name kind of sucks but I couldn’t think of a better name at that ime, just kill me for it!

A/N: I’m personally not really sure about this chapter. I wanted to rewrite it once but then I decided not to in order to be able to finally update. The next chapter will be, I think, a lot more longer. It’s half-finished but I think it will take a lot of work to finish it. You’ll see.
So please tell me how/if you liked the chapter!