A Twisted Triangle

Author's Note: Why, yes, I am still updating. :D I'm surprised, too; this is the longest series I've ever done (except for this one I did ages ago that I abandoned and feel horrible for... T_T)! So... I don't know, I think I'm doing a decent job of it, considering.

I scribbled the most of this up tonight after a trip to Las Vegas, which, for some reason, inspired me. :) Read, rate and review, please! I don't see a reason in posting new chapters if I don't get some feedback!

*

You’re in my arms and all the world is gone;
The music playing on for only two.
So close together and when I’m with you,
So close to feeling alive…

Jon McLaughlin - So Close

*

Soubi and Ritsuka’s trip to the video store elicited a bagful of selections; Saw and Saw II, 1408 and Ju-On for the sake of having a movie filmed in their own language. Along with the DVDs, Soubi purchased some junk food for them to snack on during their horror-thon; orange soda, microwave popcorn and - Ritsuka’s favorite - gummy fish. Ritsuka didn’t normally care for junk food, but for movies, he tended to make exceptions. Besides, he was a sucker for those little gummy fish.

Ritsuka loved anything fish-related. Those feline tendencies were going to be the death of Soubi. He found those catlike tics far too adorable.

Northbound, the pair trekked the busy Tokyo streets to Soubi’s apartment, each toting half of their purchase from the video store.

“Sure you’ll be able to stomach Saw?” Ritsuka asked randomly, playfully, eyeing Soubi with a snicker. “It’s pretty gruesome.”

Soubi shrugged. “It’s only a movie,” he said with a matter-of-fact sort of tone. In truth, Soubi didn’t quite care for horror movies; he found them unnecessarily violent and (most of the time) rather inaccurate. Watching people being tortured and killed didn’t really appeal to Soubi, but in his experience, Ritsuka tended to use the person nearest to him as a makeshift hiding place from the gore and otherwise unpleasant situations the movie brought on. Logic said that Soubi would be that hiding place tonight; it was the perfect excuse to get closer to Ritsuka emotionally.

Alright, even Soubi wasn’t buying that, it was the perfect excuse to get closer to Ritsuka physically. Who was Soubi kidding? He had more than minute affection for the little neko and he knew it; Soubi had real feelings for Ritsuka, feelings an adult should never have for a minor, even if that minor just so happens to be fifteen (almost sixteen, if Soubi remembered correctly). Comparing Ritsuka to Seimei to make the transition easier didn’t quite work; the brothers were far too different to Soubi. Soubi may have loved Seimei, but their relationship was entirely one-sided. Soubi dared to think, in the deepest, most private section of his mind, that the feeling he had for Ritsuka was different. The blond didn’t dare to dream that Ritsuka could ever feel the same way, but it was still different.

Very different.

Seimei was a very hard person to love if you knew who he really was.

Ritsuka, young, sweet, and thoughtful, was very easy to care for. At least, he was to Soubi. That counted for something, right?

Still… The thought of feeling this way for the teenager was more than unsettling. Thankfully, Soubi hid it well; the last thing Soubi wanted was to repulse Ritsuka because of something Soubi had no hope of controlling. Soubi would have failed in his “mission” were Ritsuka to revile him, and Soubi would then lose his last connection to humanity. Without Ritsuka in his life, Soubi feared life would have no meaning. At least this way, they would both have someone to cling onto; Soubi to Ritsuka out of affection, and Ritsuka to Soubi once he realized that his beloved brother was gone forever.

That last bit could wait, however.

In due course, the duo reached Soubi’s apartment. Once there, they kicked off their shoes, cleared a spot in the living room for a makeshift powwow square, shut the drapes to prevent sunrays from glaring off the television screen and popped a DVD into the player; their first selection was Ju-On. As expected, it didn’t take very long for Ritsuka’s nerves to get the better of him, and he wound up curled into Soubi’s chest, as though Soubi could protect him from the vengeful (albeit fictional) spirits.

Soubi, amused and content, grinned down to the neko. “Scared already?” he asked. Instinct called for him to wrap his arms around the little neko, but he didn’t dare. Ritsuka nodded in response, but those violet eyes remained glued to the television.

“No matter how many times you see it,” Ritsuka murmured into Soubi’s chest, “you don’t really get used to it.”

“Mm.” Soubi leaned his back to the bottom half of the couch and watched Ritsuka’s shifting expressions through the corner of his eye. He enjoyed watching Ritsuka more than the movie, especially now. Seimei’s sudden absence left Soubi feeling abnormally cold and detached from the outside world, but with Ritsuka clinging onto him so fervently, Soubi felt searing warmth and content. It wasn’t transference, a lonely soul yearning for affection from the nearest person. Soubi knew better than that. This was… incomprehensible comfort.

It was all Soubi could do not to take Ritsuka into his arms and kiss him right then and there. Oh, he wanted to, and he wanted to with such a passion that it frightened him for a moment. Soubi knew it was wrong, wrong on so many levels. To ward off the desire, Soubi began listing the reasons as to why he shouldn’t have acted on his urges.

For starters, Ritsuka was only fifteen. Ritsuka was a minor and there were consequences for that (not to mention Soubi did not want to be labeled as a pedophile).

Secondly, given that Ritsuka was still a child, he trusted Soubi in the way a child would trust an adult; blindly, without question and certainly without worry that he would be taken advantage of.

Third, Ritsuka was Seimei’s brother. That alone spoke volumes. Even though Seimei was gone, Soubi had still been his lover. Going after the brother next sounded wrong enough.

Amazing, Soubi thought, how he could go from giving himself fully from one man to the next without a qualm. There were reasons, of course; Seimei was abusive, Ritsuka was not, and let’s not forget that Seimei had ordered Soubi to take care of the young Ritsuka - to love him.

In came the question: Did Soubi truly love Ritsuka?

Soubi didn’t know, not yet. Time would tell. But until that time came, Soubi succumbed to a small fraction of his urges and wrapped his arms snugly around the nervous kitten beside him, pulling the feline to his chest and enjoying the intimate moment. Maybe someday Ritsuka would know of Soubi’s feelings, but not now. Right now, the only thing existing in Ritsuka’s world was the figment of a horror writer’s imagination; the ghost of a woman bent on revenge against anyone who dared to enter her house.

Thank God for horror movies, Soubi thought, else he might never have gotten to hold Ritsuka this way.

Near the end of the movie, Ritsuka was all but asleep, his eyes half-lidded, his lithe figure gently shifting with his light breathing and the minute tremors of his purring. So much for being afraid of horror movies! Soubi smirked at the thought and shook his head.

With Ritsuka in a half-sleep, Soubi took his chances and touched his fingertips gently to the neko’s pitch-black mane. The strands, he found, were sinfully soft and silky, a bit thicker than his own in volume despite its shorter length. Soubi’s long fingers sifted right through them; not a single knot to obstruct Soubi’s soft caress. With the gentle touch, Ritsuka’s purring seemed to deepen, and Soubi smiled again. It had to be unhealthy to smile this much; Soubi’s lips were practically frozen that way now.

Ritsuka really had no idea, did he?

Maybe it was just as well.

Still…

Soubi gingerly rubbed the pads of his fingers to the base of Ritsuka’s feline ears, earning a soft, contented sigh and a slight shift in position from the neko. Sated in the knowledge that Ritsuka was far too dazed to notice, Soubi leaned down a little until his nose met with Ritsuka’s raven hair, but only just. Soubi breathed in, basked in the little neko’s scent, close to purring himself over just how relaxing he found their current situation.

For right then, nothing else existed for Soubi but Ritsuka; he could neither hear, nor see the movie, and the outside world simply didn’t matter anymore. If only for the moment, Soubi’s troubles and worries went flying out the window and were replaced with thoughts of a beautiful, raven-haired youth.

Soubi’s lips lightly ghosted Ritsuka’s temple, but Ritsuka didn’t seem to notice (thank heaven). Soubi lost himself for a moment. Maybe it was alright if Ritsuka knew about Soubi’s feelings for him. Maybe it wouldn’t turn out so badly. Just… maybe.

“Mm…” Ritsuka murmured incoherently in his state of half-sleep, shifting into Soubi’s lap a bit more, curling into the adult’s embrace. “I think I’m about to fall asleep.”

Ritsuka’s voice brought Soubi from his idle reverie like a cold splash of water. Cautious, as not to alert Ritsuka of his prior closeness, Soubi pulled up a little, putting his desire for the little neko on the back burner. “I can see that,” the blond murmured gently, drawing his hand away from Ritsuka’s head. “I don’t mind,” he added, “if you’d like a nap.”

Ritsuka shook his head. “I really shouldn’t,” he said, and directed his tired violet eyes up to Soubi. Soubi saw blind trust in those eyes; a typical sort of naiveté that he doubted Ritsuka would outgrow very quickly, if ever. It caused a small pang of desire deep within the chambers of Soubi’s heart; with the way Ritsuka was looking at him right then, so adorably, so innocently, Soubi couldn’t help but to feel a small bout of possessiveness. He wanted to make Ritsuka his, right then and there. But… such a situation was not to be. If anything, Ritsuka would be the one to possess Soubi, not the other way around. Ritsuka didn’t quite know that yet, but he would - soon.

“If you’re so tired, you probably should,” Soubi argued gently, and then quickly backed down. It wasn’t his place to argue at all. He wasn’t quite used to obeying Ritsuka’s wishes yet… “But maybe it’s better you stay awake,” he said after a moment, squeezing gently around the neko’s small shoulders. “You’re better company when you’re conscious.”

“Mm…” Another incoherency slipped from Ritsuka’s lips and Soubi smiled from its adorability. “What time is it, Soubi?”

A quick glance to the wall clock over the couch - granted, it was an upside-down glance, seeing as how Soubi didn’t wish to move so much that Ritsuka would leave his lap - yielded his answer, “Just past five.”

Ritsuka groaned and shifted, and Soubi looked down with concern. “What is it?” the blond asked, receiving a slight sigh from the kitten curled up in his lap. “Mom,” Ritsuka murmured, his ears falling. “I don’t want to be gone too much longer,” he elaborated further. “She gets mad if I’m not home before dark.”

Soubi’s brow furrowed then. That woman was so hateful. Soubi wanted nothing more for Ritsuka than to see her gone. However, he noted with a slight sigh, Ritsuka loved his mother dearly, and once the little neko realized that he was minus one elder brother… the last thing he would want to lose would be his mother, too. It was bad enough that his father was a deserter. Ritsuka would have no family left, and while Soubi didn’t necessarily think that was a bad thing in this case, it was Ritsuka’s opinion that mattered.

Ritsuka was all that mattered.

“It will be dark soon,” Soubi said with disdain, cuddling the little neko to him for a moment longer. “Perhaps you should go now…“ Soubi, however, wanted to keep the little kitten for the night. Ritsuka felt so warm against his chest, so soft and inviting - in stark contrast to Seimei, whose body was hard and frigid. Seimei never allowed for a cuddle, not really. Those post-orgasm embraces didn’t count, those were signs of cold, harsh possession, all-but-subtle signs Seimei would give to Soubi to say that no one else would ever have him in the way that Seimei did.

And no one ever would.

“I will,” Ritsuka mumbled tiredly, pressing his face into Soubi’s chest, nuzzling him with kittenish affection. “… In five more minutes…”

A smile crawled onto Soubi’s lips and he chuckled. How adorable… The “five more minutes” line was cliché when it came from anyone else’s mouth, but from Ritsuka’s, it sounded like sweet, sweet adolescence in its purest form, showing innocence in a life jam-packed with darkness and inevitable hurt.

Soubi really did put Ritsuka up on a pedestal, but that was just where the youth belonged. Soubi had always thought so.

“Come now,” the blond murmured tenderly, running his fingertips over a silky feline ear, then down into equally soft raven hair. “Five minutes turns into ten, then twenty, thirty… You can sleep when you get home, little one.”

Ritsuka purred at the careful attention paid to his hair and his ears, leaning into Soubi’s hand, and then purring some more. He and Soubi had no qualms about being this intimate in private; Ritsuka considered him a brother, and just as it was with Seimei, Ritsuka allowed a lot of things most young men would consider a threat to their masculinity. “Alright,” Ritsuka conceded at last, forcing open his eyes and peering up to Soubi. Behind thin, round frames, Soubi captured his gaze and smiled warmly.

“S- Soubi?” Ritsuka sounded nervous.

“Yes, Ritsuka?”

“C- Can we…”

Soubi raised his eyebrow. “Can we…”

Ritsuka nibbled on his lip a little and looked away, and when he looked back, his confidence was completely renewed. “Can we spend the day together tomorrow, too?” Ritsuka asked, his ears perking up a little. “I- I can ask my mom if I can stay the night, so I won’t have to worry about getting home early! Would that be okay?”

Would that be okay? Soubi’s mind went reeling when Ritsuka asked for another day of togetherness with his beloved, and not even just another day, but another day and a whole night.

Oh, the possibilities…

Get that thought out of your head.

“I’d like that,” Soubi said at last, forcing his arms to loosen from their snug position around Ritsuka’s small frame. “I’ll pick you up from school and we’ll go from there. How’s that?”

Ritsuka’s face brightened up with a wide smile. The kitten nodded in agreement and hugged Soubi around the waist. Soubi didn’t have to question why he was so thrilled; any time away from that horrible Aoyagi woman must have been sheer heaven for the little neko. “Okay!” Ritsuka chirped. “Will you walk me home?”

“Of course.”

The sun was halfway through setting when the pair hit the pavement, bound for Ritsuka’s home. Fortunately, the walk wasn’t looking to be too long; traffic tended to die down a little in the evening hours. The whole walk there, Ritsuka had a smile on his face.

“You’re so much fun, Soubi,” the neko said brightly. “You’re like a brother to me!”

Soubi smiled at that, though it was a tad bittersweet. “Am I?” he asked. “Then again, no,” he murmured afterward and shook his head. “Seimei is your brother, and I could never hope to live up to him.”

Not ever.

That was what hurt.

Ritsuka blinked up at him. “You don’t have to live up to him exactly,” he said. “You’re both so different.” Then, as he clung to Soubi’s arm playfully, Ritsuka piped up again, “That’s why I like you so much! Variety’s a good thing, you know.”

Despite the slight pang of inadequacy he got every time he was put up to bat against the incomparable Aoyagi Seimei, Soubi felt… touched by Ritsuka’s comment. Ritsuka was wise beyond his years, though he didn’t know it. In essence, Ritsuka was by far more mature than his brother, or even Soubi. Soubi knew that, Seimei probably knew that; it was Ritsuka who had no idea.

Maybe it was just as well. Ritsuka deserved to have an adolescence - growing up too soon would only hurt him more.

“You’re right,” Soubi agreed, looking down to the younger boy, smiling pleasantly. “You always are.”

“I am?” Ritsuka blinked and tilted his head curiously.

Soubi chuckled. “Yes. More so than you know sometimes.”

Ritsuka nibbled on his bottom lip in thought, and then giggled. “I like being right,” he said. “I never get to be right at home, ‘cause that’s Seimei’s job.”

Not anymore.

“Well,” Soubi interjected, slinging his arm loosely over Ritsuka’s small - almost feminine - shoulders. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re always right.”

Ritsuka laughed. “Soubi! I can’t always be right!”

“Of course you can.”

Before long, the duo reached Ritsuka’s street. Ritsuka stopped at the edge of the block and turned to look at the blond. “You better not walk me right up to the door,” he said. “Mom might get mad if she knows I was out with an adult.”

Adult? Oh. The ears. Of course. Such a fundamental role they played in society.

“Alright,” Soubi complied, smiling, hugging Ritsuka once more around the shoulders. “I’ll see you tomorrow after school.”

“Okay!” Ritsuka chirped, his tail practically wagging as he clung briefly to his adult friend. “I’ll ask Mom about staying over tomorrow. ‘Kay?”

Soubi only nodded, releasing the smaller boy from his grasp.

“See you tomorrow!”

Soubi waved Ritsuka off as the neko turned and hopped off down the street to make it through his front door before darkness encompassed the street. Once Ritsuka was out of sight, Soubi sighed, smiled and folded his arms.

Seimei was gone and it saddened Soubi considerably, but living in a role where self-indulgence was a sin and serving another meant you were alive, Seimei’s departure opened up a door Soubi never thought would be presented to him. With the brutally sadistic Aoyagi out of the picture, Soubi was left - free, almost - to take care of Ritsuka. Soubi could love Ritsuka now, without fear of reprimand from the vengeful Aoyagi Seimei.

Seimei was gone.

However…

There was still the matter of letting Ritsuka in on that trivial piece of information.