Bobbing for Apples

Well... This is mature. Light had locked himself in a random bedroom. L had been amazed that they had not really established which room was 'his' but when he thought about it, Light had only been here a little over a day. "Light-kun, don't mope."

"I'm not moping." The reply was immediate. And wrong, very wrong. L sighed, he sat down on the other side of the door Light was sitting against. The door, of course, was locked but somehow barricading the door with your body was more fulfilling. L popped a truffle in his mouth and waited. Well, Kira always was a immature sore loser. Really, though, this is ridiculous.

What had happened was after that touching scene where the man synonymous with Kira was all blushy and mush-filled was that L refused to say exactly how he could consider himself the worse person on the planet. This caused Light, full of curiosity, to become flustered and in turn he remembered that L had implied him 'insane' which still didn't sit well with him. Of course, not being able to prove himself sane, he got angry and instead of physically taking it out on the detective, as L had expected, he locked himself in a room. Light was well aware that L could still see him perfectly, so the raven haired man figured that it was more that Light did not want to see him.

The silence now was deafening and extensive. L had a sudden craving for ice cream but stayed where he was, having a feeling that he should. He could almost feel Light's presence on the other side of the door and he had a feeling Light could feel his. He also had a feeling that though Light was angry at him, he didn't want to feel abandoned. Just because he's a little insane, acting irrationally, is a mass murderer, and is angry at me does not mean I should hurt his feelings by making him feel alone. Right now I'm all he has. No sooner had those words crossed his mind that he realized how twisted his logic was. He sighed audibly as the war began again. Ever since he had woke up after having sex with Kira, his mind had been running in circles frustratingly. Everything he would have believed normally had been thrown out the window for Light and he knew it. Try as he might to tell himself that it was only because of Light's abilities that made him more important than everyone else, he knew this was a lie. He was emotionally attached to Light. That doesn't mean I love him. Love's too strong of a word. Love is butterflies in your stomach and the absolute need to be around a person. I walked away and I would have been content if he had come chasing. Though I am not in love with the man who is Kira, I do think that part of me would do anything for him. That is a scary prospect. He was twirling circles in the hardwood floor with one hand and biting the thumb of another. An uneasy sound from the other side of the door made his head perk up.

"Why did you meet me? Was it just to capture me?" The voice was cold, empty, apathetic. However, L had a feeling that the person saying those words was not.

"Why did you try to find me? Was it because you thought your life was in danger?"

"Yes."

"Then yes."

"No..."

"Then no."

"You can't just copy my answers, L."

"Fine." L gave in, trying to indulge the captive. "When I heard you were trying to find me, at first I was a bit scared. You are probably the one person smart enough to actually find me. I don't even know how you got as far as you did. However, after I thought about it, I wanted to see you for many reasons. I actually didn't think about making you my prisoner until about twenty minutes before you showed up. Thus, us having to wait for the cable to be cut off."

There was an uneasy silence, one that foreshadowed words that didn't want to reach the air. Eventually however they did. "Why did you fuck me?"

This caught L off guard but he didn't move. In fact, he had stopped his movements. "Because we both were obviously interested and, er, required sexual release?" He lightly tapped himself on the head as if to quietly tell himself he was retarded."

"No, why did you want to fuck me - a loony mass murderer you have locked up in your house?" Light clarified, sounding far too anxious.

"Oh, that. That's because--" He stopped, suddenly blown away and slightly angry. "You think I fucked Yagami-kun to have some sort of weird sense of being above Kira who fancies himself a god? You think I got kicks out of being on top when with you because you're Kira?" He demanded, realizing he was actually pointing at the door. He put his hand to the floor immediately but still glared at the door in front of him. At Light. Silence alerted him that he had been dead on. "For your information, Yagami-kun, I've never had sex with Kira. Only Yagami Light. Not the one ignorant to everything he's done wrong like you when you forgot everything about the Death Note, not the one who is corrupted by the Notebook of Mass Destruction. No, I was having sexual intercourse with a man younger than me but is the one person I have ever met that I can match wits with. Not only as the opponent known as Kira but when trying to find the other Kiras. I have met many very intelligent people but you are the most clever thus far. There's more to you than Kira and I would hope that you don't think I have some sort of demented fetish for defeating criminals via sex." He couldn't help himself and ended up finishing with a murmur. "To me, there's more to Light-kun than Kira..."

L could practically feel Kira move awkwardly on the other side of the door. He felt dumb for saying that. Angry at himself and that Light could even consider those things about him - angry that he cared that Light thought those things about him. Emotional attachment. The words did not run through his mind repetitively as he supposed was normal but they seemed to boom once and never quite reach the end of it's key. His hands were in fists clawing to the denim in his jeans and though he had the feeling he should stay close to Light, he abandoned it, deciding to go get some of that ice cream.

Light suddenly felt empty, engulfed with loneliness. He missed L's presence but at the same time could not find it in himself to chase after him. He wanted to hurl, he felt pathetic. One thing had become perfectly clear. I need to kill L and I need to do it now. Part of him screamed for him not to, wanted to chase after L and beg him to never leave his side. His nausea came to him harder now, imagining those things seemed like blasphemy. Actually, if he were to think about it this way, the fact that part of him wanted to hold on to L and sweet nothings into his ears made the other part of him that wanted that wretched detective out of the way and out of his life all the more powerful. The only solace the part of him that wanted L to survive had was that he didn't know L's name and had no way of finding that information out. However, the other side already was contemplating that.

He quite blatantly said there was no way I could find his name but of course he would he let you know there's a way to kill him in here? He may in fact be bluffing, in which case it's a matter of finding the name. Knowing L, it would be somewhere masterfully obvious. Yet, this is his life we're talking about, he may in fact have nothing here to put him in harms way. He spent a few hours sitting on the floor idly, mind bouncing from where to find the name to other less prideful (or so to him it seemed) things. Things like lustful acts with the detective holding him captive. His wallet in his back pocket was beginning to hurt so he pulled it out, looking through the pockets within it. No paper anymore, since he didn't need it because he had his notebook with him at all times. The money was still there, not that it really mattered. Then there was a picture of Sayu that his mother had made him put in there, he pulled it out and looked at it. She had to be like seven when the picture was taken. He flipped it over, not really expecting much.

Yagami Sayu, 8 years old. He re-read it. His heart felt like it stopped but he did anything but stand idly. He ran up out of the room. The wind seemed cold around him as he ran up the stairs to the nursery until he stood, dead, in front of the picture. One hand crawled across the table and grasped it. Sighing, he ran his fingers over it. Almost reluctantly, Yagami Light turned it and slowly unclasped the frame so the back was ready to come out. He flipped it over so he could watch as the glass was removed from the boy. A normal person would have just broken the glass... He shuddered. I am NOT insane. Somehow, though, he wasn't convinced of either way. He removed the glass and too the picture. Holding the paper in his hand somehow made him feel powerful, as if he could literally crush L. Yet, part of it made him sad. I feel like I'm mur--- eliminating a child. Breathing deeply, he turned it over.

He hadn't realized that somewhere in between the flipping over of the picture, he had closed his eyes. Not for awhile anyways and when he did, he sort of didn't want to open them. He tried desperately to tell himself it was only because he didn't want to be disappointed that the name wasn't there. He tried to say it was just in relief he could feel he could take his time. Lies. If he was going to be honest with himself, his thoughts would have been the following. If his name is here, I have to kill him. Then I have to live life without ever seeing him again. Furthermore, everyone would know that I'm Kira - though I'm sure they already do. If I kill him, part of me will die, and though I thoroughly wish that part of me didn't exist, that doesn't necessarily mean I want to kill it now that it has been alive. It's like some emotional abortion...

Well, if I'm going to look, I have to be quick. L could very well be watching me. Opening his eyes, he looked. His face lit up into a smile but his eyes looked beyond sad - more like his soul had been destroyed.

L Lawliet - Two

It was almost like he had no control over his hands as it copied the name in the notebook, adding that he'd die peacefully early the next morning while asleep. His hands were shaking when he was done but he somehow managed to put the photo back where it belonged. His knees felt weak and wobbly yet he somehow managed to leave the room. His heart felt as if it could hurt no more but once he saw L, though his body managed to compose itself, his heart shredded. The next words spoken by his enemies lips didn't help.

"I'm sorry."

He's sorry? For what? I'm the one murdering him... I'm the one who should be apologizing. But I can't. He's too smart, he'd figure it out, and he'd kill me. And though my heart seems to want to die, I can't allow it... For the greater good. For the utopia to come... For the world... He had to admit, he wasn't being very convincing. "I forgive you." Please forgive me...

It felt strange when L kissed him. It was gentle. He hadn't realized how passionate they had been before, how rough they were to each other. Now, there was this light pair of lips upon his own. He kissed back softly. He kept imagining himself holding back tears though none really came to him. He began really questioning his sanity now, It feels as if I have multiple personalities burst through me at once. Slowly he seemed to fall into place, wanting to be in L's embrace. They ended up in a greyscale room - monotone. They were soft, caressing each other. Light was sure L realized that Light only seemed half there, in fact it was almost like L was touching him to try to bring him back out of his shell. At times Light was more there than others, caressing back and kissing back, determined to remember his taste and touch. Then there were times when he went back to numbness, letting sorrow and guilt wash over him. L offered to not carry on at one point but Light came back, and though his pride wouldn't allow him to beg for him to stay, his body seemed to have gotten the message across. Light realized that L's body was colder than his yet his pulse was higher. He faintly wondered if the pace of his heartbeat was higher because he was more into this or if it always was. He seemed to think it was permanent. They were the exact same height, or at least within a quarter inch, and L was thinner than him. The older man's hair was soft but silky, it was like fluff almost. His own hair was naturally smooth because of the oil his scalp produced. L's hands and feet were bigger and so was that other thing.

The thing that though L had seemed to have the intention of being on the bottom, was now entering him. He winced but overall didn't feel the pain as much as before. He was vaguely aware his own panting for air, of his desperate needs taking over, of L's butterfly kisses anywhere they could reach. He acknowledged when he hit his climax a few moments after L did so. L then wrapped around him in a very L-like fashion, his knees coming up under Light's arms to meet his own arms that were wrapped around Light. The younger one let this continue for a few hours before running off. After all, he wasn't tired - though it was late at night. Also, he wanted to avoid seeing the moment L died. He didn't want to touch him right as it happened if he didn't have to. He wanted the last visions he saw of L to be that of his body holding him closely, sleeping peacefully. The other one was right in front of him.

He was staring at that same picture that had locked his lover's fate. He could almost feel L's touch still on him and it only deepened his sadness. His body shook violently after awhile as he sat where L had done so earlier, the shaking of his body making him realize he was crying. Well, kind of. He didn't feel any tears in his eyes but he was sobbing nonetheless. It felt strange yet at the same time he had to realize that it would be strange for tears to come out of his eyes. He couldn't remember the last time he cried, and even less so that wasn't an act in order to manipulate people. This may be my natural way of crying...

How utterly pathetic.

Of course, that little strand of thought didn't help improve his mood. He had curled up into a ball, not in a sitting childish position like L but in a scared fetal position. He found himself debating whether what he did was the right thing to do or not and never really could come up with the right answer. His heart began to cry out when he stared at that picture, feeling as if the child no longer smiled and it was his fault, though he knew that L hardly ever smiled anyways - and it wasn't real. This picture showed that every time L had ever smiled around him, it had been all for show.

"So you're going to kill L Lawliet, huh?" A voice came from behind him and he swung around. Ryuk was smiling, he was always smiling, and nibbling upon an apple. "Too bad, that means no more mass amounts of apples." He mused, walking up behind Light who had gone back to staring at the picture. "What time did you put in the note?"

"Five forty seven..."

"Why that time?"

"I have no idea." Light admitted. Then he shrugged, "Why?" He was glad that he hadn't shed tears so his face wouldn't be puffy. He didn't need Ryuk holding this against him forever.

'It's a quarter past six. Hyuk hyuk hyuk!"

"And I'm still quite alive." A voice came from the doorway. It was hollow, indifferent, cold. It was somehow unnatural and empty of emotion. It was L.

--

Fufa's Notes:

He's aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive! OR perhaps Light is hallucinating? Dreaming? Being molested by killer Ethiopian walruses contaminated with the Ebola virus? Perhaps...

Okie dokie. Slow chapter is slow. Sorry, I've been working. I've got one day (which was spent running errands) for the last two weeks and my next days off I'll be out of town at a family reunion (this weekend) so I'm a bit busy. However, here's the next chapter. Sorry it took so long.

I've read Death Note: Another Note: The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases now and I have Death Note: How To Read 13. I have decifered the rules and decided the only rule I'm breaking is the shinigami's staying with the holder of the Death note. Soooo... Rem-is-far-away-because-I-said-so-rule comes into this! YAY!

I'm also working on a DN AMV, flash animation, this fic, fanart as well as continuing with trying to put my comic into progress of being at least fully documentedly pulled out of my ass. :D Condemnably Yours! Yaaaaaaaay! *Runs in circles.*