Trust

Trust
A Code Geass fan fiction story
Written by Archangel

Chapter 11 – Live

{Author’s Note: This chapter takes place between episodes 2.19 and 2.20. It is dedicated to Hilde. The music suggestion is “Kyrie” by Mr. Mister. Further notes at the end. Enjoy, and please provide feedback! RATE and/or REVIEW, please!}

What the hell just happened? Kallen wondered as she collapsed into a chair. She was pretty sure she had gone into reset mode from feeling too many conflicting emotions too quickly. Looking around, Kallen realized she was in the main conference room. On impulse, she pulled a portable terminal over and punched up a view of the pursuit. What’s going on? Kallen thought dully. Knightmares were dropping out of the sky like flies. She couldn’t summon the energy to think it through.

There was a file with an official Britannian seal lying on the table. Kallen started flipping through it. One picture after another. All people Zero had manipulated using his Geass, according to the text. And these were just the more obvious ones, Kallen was sure. The evidence against Zero—against Lelouch—was becoming quite damning. Yet the Black Knights’ ace couldn’t quite condemn him in her heart.

Could he have been telling the truth back there? she asked herself. Is everything really just a game to him? Was it all just for his amusement? That would mean… it would mean that he was just using me as a plaything! Pretending at love just because he felt like it! Kallen wasn’t sure she could find the will to live if that were true; even with her doubts, his words in the cargo bay had hurt her more deeply than she had ever imagined possible. “Much like a well-played knight,” he’d said. Kallen slowly drew the black chess piece Lelouch had given her from her pocket and stared at it. It was finely carved from pure onyx. A black knight. At the time, Kallen had taken the gift as a token of Lelouch’s respect for her, but now… now she wondered. Had he been mocking her?

But measured against that suspicion were his last words, whispered so only she could hear. “Kallen,” he’d said, “you have to live.” Did he say all those hurtful things just to get me out of the line of fire? Kallen wondered. He couldn’t possibly have known that Rollo would rescue him like that. If he thought he was doomed… then he would at least have tried to save me! That’s what I’d do for him. Kallen wanted desperately to believe that, but she just wasn’t sure.

Memories came flooding into Kallen’s mind as she leafed idly through the dossiers. All the brief moments alone stolen between the battles and the crises. The first time she’d kissed him, her eyes shut tightly. Zero telling her that he trusted her more than anyone else. Finally holding him again after an entire, horrible year alone. Seeing Zero without the mask for the first time. Stroking Lelouch’s silky black hair under the starlight. Seeing the adoration and wonder in his beautiful violet eyes as they made love. And the end result of their lovemaking…

Kallen laid a hand protectively over her belly. You might be all I have left of him, she thought to the new life growing in her womb. A life that she wasn’t positive existed, she reminded herself. Kallen had been experiencing all the classic symptoms of pregnancy—and hiding them pretty well, she thought—but she could just be sick for all she knew. “That’s it,” she growled quietly. “I have to know for sure.”

Rising from her chair, Kallen Kouzuki strode to the lift and hit the button for Deck 6.

*****

Where are you right now, Kallen? Lelouch wondered as he looked down at his “brother’s” improvised grave. What are you doing? One way or another, I doubt that I’ll see you again. If only I could say goodbye…

Wait. Reaching inside his cloak, Lelouch extracted the little audio recorder he always carried. It had come in very useful once or twice, but this time he was truly glad he had it. Bowing his head, Lelouch Vi Britannia leaned back against a tree and thought for a minute before thumbing the record button.

“I am Lelouch Vi Britannia, also known by the names ‘Lelouch Lamperouge’ and ‘Zero.’ This recording is my final message to Kallen Kouzuki. To anyone else listening to this, I request that you turn it off and deliver it to Kallen as soon as you are able. This is purely personal, and contains nothing of political or military importance whatsoever. If you feel compelled to listen anyway, I understand. There is no reason for anyone to trust my word. I ask only that you keep what you hear to yourself.”

He let out a very long sigh.

“My dearest Kallen. When I finish recording this, I will leave it for you and execute my final mission. If I am successful, the power of Geass will be sealed away from the world forever. Unfortunately, this means that I will be sealed away as well. There is so much I want to say to you before I go. I’ll have to settle for saying as much as I can in the time I have. How much of this you share with others is entirely up to you.

First, let me explain the last things I said to you. For the first time in my life, I found myself truly defeated. Checkmate. Given the situation, the best I could do was to save your life. You wouldn’t have obeyed if I had ordered you away, so I had to push you away. As for what I said… it was not the whole truth. Yes, I have been using *everyone* as pieces in a game, especially the Black Knights. And yes, you were my most valuable piece. But more than that, you were—are—one of only two pieces that were not expendable.

Second, I said that the point of the game was my own amusement. I was lying. The point was to safeguard my little sister, Nunnally. Now she is dead, and as you know I am ultimately to blame. I’ve failed her. As such, there is no point to continuing the game. Everything I accomplished as Zero was ultimately for nothing. I hope that you, Oghi, Tohdoh, and all the others can create something good out of my folly. This final mission is atonement for my sins against you all. It will not settle my debt, of course, but it is the best I can do.

As for the last thing I said to you… I meant it with all my heart and soul. You have to *live*, Kallen. So long as you live, there will be one good, pure soul upon this earth. And so long as there is a spark of good and purity, this world will be worth damning myself for. What little love and kindness exists in me will watch over you for all eternity. My heart, such as it is, belongs to you forever and a day.

I know that what I’m doing will cause you pain, and I am truly sorry. However, I ask you not to grieve for me, Kallen. Although we fell in love, we are not friends. We don’t truly know each other. We haven’t have time. Next to Nunnally’s death, that is what I regret the most. I had hoped that after we won, you and I could build a life together. I wanted to marry you. I wanted to hold you, laugh with you, cry with you, comfort you, encourage you. I wanted to have and raise children with you. I wanted to grow old with you.

Obviously, that’s not going to happen. Perhaps it’s just as well; I am not worthy of you, and I never was. I never really told you how much I respect and admire you, Kallen. Ever since that first day in Shinjuku, you have never ceased to amaze me with your courage, your skill, your intelligence, and most of all your beauty. Your beauty is far more than your face and your flesh, Kallen. You are kind, brave, compassionate, loving, and most of all you are noble. Even the brief bits of time we had together were a privilege. I will be forever grateful to have known you.

So I say again, do not grieve for me, Kallen. I am no great loss to the world, and you have a full, wonderful life ahead of you. My last order to you as your commander is to live that life to the fullest. Dream, and then pursue those dreams as only you can, my knight. I truly hope that you find love again. If you do, pursue it with all your heart. Bear sons and daughters to carry on your nobility of spirit through future generations. Experience the world and all the wonders it has to offer. And above all, *be happy.*

Lastly, please do not try to defend me to other people. I was, and am, a heartless manipulator. A liar. A trickster. A murderer. My love for you was perhaps the only thing I’ve been honest about in a very long time. I ask that you remember me as I truly was—all the good and all the evil.

I love you, Kallen. Goodbye.”

Lelouch shut the recorder off and extracted the data chip. Such a tiny little thing to hold so much, he thought with a bitter smile. Scrambling up to the cockpit of his knightmare, Lelouch activated minimal power and punched a seldom-used frequency into the comm.

“Zero to Jeremiah. This is Zero calling Jeremiah. Please respond.” One… two… three… four… Lelouch thought with a faint smile, looking at his watch. …Five.

“Prince Lelouch! Are you alright, Sir?” came Jeremiah’s voice, thick with worry.

“I’m alive. Rollo is… he’s dead.”

A pause. “I see. Where are you, my Lord? We need to rendezvous and start regrouping immediately if we’re to recover from this.”

“Negative,” Lelouch cut him off. “It’s too late for that now. I have one final task I must accomplish, Jeremiah. One you cannot help me with. I have a different task to ask of you.”

“Whatever you need.”

“Very well, here are your instructions: you will hold and do nothing for half an hour. After that time, you will make your way to Kamiya Island. You know where it is?”

“All too well, Your Highness.”

Lelouch chuckled. “Indeed. Somewhere on the island—probably near the northern shore—you will find the Shinkiro. Inside, on the pilot’s seat, you will find an audio chip. Do as you will with the knightmare, but you must deliver that chip to Kallen Kouzuki as discreetly as possible. Do you understand?”

“Perfectly. It shall be as you say.”

“Excellent. I doubt that we’ll speak again. So let me say thank you. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, and for Nunnally. After you deliver the chip, you are officially released from my service, Lord Jeremiah. Live well.”

Lelouch Vi Britannia cut the connection and fed power to the flight systems for the hop to Kamiya Island.

*****

“Mmm-hmm. I see. Yes,” Dr. Izawa murmured to herself.

Kallen swallowed the urge to scream with impatience. “Well?” she asked as politely as she could manage.

Izawa looked up from the bioscan display, seemingly startled. “Oh! I’m sorry. You are indeed pregnant,” she pronounced with a motherly smile. “Congratulations, Miss Kouzuki.”

The certainty of hearing it from the Black Knights’ chief physician sent a rush of joy through Kallen’s body. She found herself unable to do anything but grin like a fool, resting both her hands on her stomach.

“You’re about three and a half months along,” Dr. Izawa continued warmly, “and the baby is exceptionally healthy. Taking after Mommy, it seems. Would you like to know the sex?”

The question took Kallen aback. On the one hand, the tradition of not knowing until the baby was born had appealed to her ever since she was a little girl. On the other, Kallen was facing so much uncertainty at the moment that she wasn’t sure she could handle any more. After a few seconds’ debate, she came down on the latter side. “Yes, please.”

The doctor chuckled, as if she’d read the dilemma on Kallen’s face. “You’re going to have a beautiful baby girl, Kallen.” She paused for a moment. “May I ask who the father is? I’d like to have him in for a quick genetic scan. Standard procedure.”

*That* question took Kallen completely by surprise. “I… I’d rather not say,” she replied quietly.

Dr. Izawa looked puzzled. “You know that anything you tell me is strictly confidential,” she reminded her flame-haired patient.

“I know,” Kallen acknowledged with a nod. “But it’s… it’s very complicated. I’ll tell you later, if I can.”

“You do know who the father is, right?” Izawa asked gently.

Kallen had to smile at that. “Oh, there’s no doubt who he is. I just…” she abruptly hopped off the examining table and started pulling her flight suit back on. “Thank you, Doctor. When’s my next check-up?”

“I’ll schedule you for two weeks from now, and try to find you an appointment with an obstetrician as well. I’m mainly a trauma surgeon, after all. In the meantime, absolutely no alcohol and try to limit your stress as much as possible.”

Stress. Right, Kallen thought with a wry smile as she pulled the zipper up to her neck. “Alright. See you in two weeks.” A daughter, she mused with a smile, stroking her stomach as she left the med-bay. Now what am I going to name you…?

{More Author’s Note: Well. We’re getting close to the end of the story here.

If the bit about the chess piece confuses you, please review Ch07 of this story.

Dr. Izawa is made up out of whole cloth. It stands to reason that a ship that large would have a permanent medical bay and at least one physician on staff. She’s not named after anybody in particular. Izawa was just the first Japanese surname I could think of.

However, if memory serves, the U.S.S. Voyager’s sickbay is located on Deck 6. ^^

The recorder in question is the same one Lelouch used to trick Kallen—with Saioko’s help—in episode 1.03. It works just like one of those mini tape-recorders, only using a data chip instead of magnetic tape.

Alpha Readers: Mikey, Xagzan

See you next chapter! Some Angel time, same Angel channel!}