Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

Chapter Eleven

It had been two months since they had confessed and officially became a couple. Shizuki had started up his internship again much to the joy of the head doctor at the hospital he worked at. He only had another month before his internship was over. After that he wasn't quite sure what he was going to do. It wasn't really a big concern yet. He was content with the way things were now. He wanted to enjoy it for as long as possible.

In the last two months he'd been living with Umeda. He'd thought it was kinda stupid to get an apartment with so little time left on his internship. Or rather Umeda had thought so and convinced Shizuki of the same. Not to mention the blond had already sold or given away everything that had been in his old apartment when he'd left for California. It was rather foolish to have to refurnish an entire place again when Umeda's apartment was more than big enough for two people. Plus, Umeda had pretty much said he was living there—no arguments allowed.

Shizuki had been more than a little nervous about the whole prospect of living with his brand new boyfriend. He'd never lived with any of his previous girlfriends. Not even his fiancé. He was used to living alone. He was comfortable with it. However, he found it wasn't as scary or as bad as he might have thought. It actually turned out to be a good way to learn how they behaved around each other on a long term basis. At first, they had sort of tip toed around each other until Umeda finally blew up at Shizuki. He'd told the blond to stop worrying so much about being a burden and invading the doctor's space. Umeda wanted him there. Shizuki had better damn well start acting like it was his home too.

After that, things went more smoothly. They found they could live together without wanting to kill each other after only a few days. They found a comfortable rhythm with living together that suited them both. They figured out who made coffee in the morning, who made the bed, who did laundry, who made dinner, and who got control of the TV remote on which nights. They figured out when to back off and leave the other person alone. They discovered the best times for when they both felt like being cuddly and needy. It was all a matter of learning give and take with each other.

However, in the space of those two months they'd yet to have sex. And Shizuki could tell it was starting to get to Umeda. He was after all a very sexually needy person. One could only beat off so much with their hand before it could old. So Shizuki wasn't at all surprised when Umeda finally switched off the TV one evening and asked the question they had been skirting around for months.

"So tell me the truth. No one is that homophobic unless they've had a bad experience involving another guy," Umeda remarked. He waited a moment for the deer in the headlights look to begin to fade from his boyfriend's face before asking. "What happened?"

Shizuki couldn't say anything for a long time. He supposed it was about time to have this talk. He'd been dreading it. Hoping for it. More than anything he just wanted it over with. Every time he thought of why he was like that it made him cringe in shame. It hurt to acknowledge that part of his past. It was damning and hypocritical of the way he behaved now. He knew it but refused to think about it any further for years. He'd never told anyone why. Maybe it was time he did, especially if he was going to be with Umeda.

"I've never talked about it," Shizuki twiddled his fingers. "I'll try to tell you, but if you interrupt me I might not be able to finish it. So just listen ok. And understand that I hate myself for what I did."

The doctor's brow creased in confusion and cautious suspicion. "Ok."

"When I was about 15 I hit puberty hard. I know I was a late bloomer. At the time, I had a best friend in high school named Allen. He had transferred from a different school when his father moved the family because of his job. The other boys seemed reluctant to make friends with him. I didn't understand why. He was funny, smart, and we were interested in a lot of the same things. We were always hanging out together.

Allen caught me masturbating in the locker room one day after gym class. I didn't even see him there. Then suddenly he was standing beside me in the shower. I was surprised, but to hyped up to stop. He told me I was doing it wrong and I'd rub myself raw that way," Shizuki laughed self consciously. "He reached around and showed me how to do it the right way. It felt amazing. I was a little weirded out by him. He told me it was normal for guys to learn this kind of stuff from each other. I believed him because I'd heard the other boys talking about it and sex all the time. It didn't seem unlikely that they'd show each other.

It turned into a routine sort of thing. When he found me doing it he'd help me out. I'd help him. It was something we had together that kept us close. It was our secret. I guess Allen thought maybe we had something more than that. He tried to talk me into taking things further. That was when I freaked out on him. I wasn't gay and I thought I had no desire to be. I guess what scared me is I considered it. Allen was good looking and we were really close. I was curious. It was the thought of being found out. It was all the what ifs.

I refused to hang out with him after that. He tried to apologize but I wouldn't listen to him. My fear kept me away from him. He wouldn't give up on trying to fix our friendship though and I began to panic. I started spreading rumors about him being a fag. Saying I'd seen him with other boys. It caught like wildfire. By the next day he was the target of every guys harassing and hazing. They made his life hell. What was worse was Allen knew who had started it. He hated me for it, and I can't blame him. Eventually he had to transfer schools because the hazing starting getting violent. But I remember the last thing he ever said to me. "You're a coward, Shizuki. You're not even strong enough to admit what you really are. You'll always be a spinless liar." And he was right. I never saw him again. Ever since then just being near a gay guy makes me sick. Not because of them, but because of me. I look at them and I hate myself out of shame for everything I did to Allen. For everything I was to scared to admit to myself." Shizuki shook his head. "I can't forgive myself for what happened."

"You were a scared kid, and high school is unforgiving of those who are different. We all do things in high school we hate ourselves for later. It's part of being a teenager. The point is you've grown up," Umeda remarked. "Hell, I wouldn't even admit openly that I was gay until college. If I had admitted it in an all boys' high school I hate to even think about what would have happened. My family wasn't surprised when I came out, but I lost a lot of friends over it. Most of them guys. It's not unusual, but it did hurt. It's frightening to let that big of a secret out of the bag."

"But you seem so open about sex!" Shizuki stared in shock.

"It took a long time to be that way," the doctor admitted.

The blond shook his head in astonishment. "Hard to believe."

"I know."

They were quiet for a few minutes.

"We've been together for a while now, Shizuki. I know you're nervous about sex, but I think it's time we tried it. I know you love me, but I need this. I need the closeness. I've always been a very sexual being. It's how I express myself best. So please, for my sake, can we give it a try?" Umeda pleaded gently. He hated that it had come to this, but he couldn't wait anymore. He needed to cement their relationship in the only way he knew how. Saying I love you, kisses, and hugs only did so much for him. He needed the permanence that a sexual relationship suggested.

Shizuki looked into the doctor's earnest eyes and swallowed hard. He looked away as he chewed on his lip worriedly. He knew eventually that Umeda would want this. He honestly needed it too, but fear had kept him from wanting to give it a try. He had promised Akiha, Mizuki, and himself that he would stop running. He guessed that meant from this too. He sighed heavily. "Alright."

Umeda smiled. "Good." He got up and grabbed Shizuki's hand. "C'mon. We'll take this slow. And before you start worrying about who's taking who, you're taking me. Ok?"

"Ok," Shizuki followed his boyfriend into the bedroom and then into the master bathroom. "The bathroom?"

"We shower first…," Umeda turned around and tugged the blond close. "So that we can both relax and be naked together without the whole sex thing just yet." He grinned and kissed Shizuki softly. He tugged the blond's shirt up, waiting for Shizuki to raise his arms, before pulling it off. He tossed it to the side and let his hands slid slowly down the blond's smooth chest. Shizuki took a deep breath. He let himself enjoy the feel of Umeda's hands on his skin. They'd been shirtless around each other a few times. Touching like this was at least familiar to him. He helped Umeda out of his shirt before he noticed where his boyfriend's hands had drifted.

"Uh uh," the doctor admonished Shizuki when he tried to stop Umeda's hands from undoing his belt. "Getting naked requires the pants being off."

"Right," the blond smiled nervously.

Umeda grinned. "Hey, I have one to you know."

Shizuki laughed under his breath. "Well, I would hope so."

"Good. Now, outta those pants," the doctor smirked at him, tugging on his belt.

The blond rolled his eyes before nodding. He slipped the leather from his belt buckle, popped the button on his jeans, and dragged the zipper downwards. He flushed when Umeda licked his lips in anticipation. He started to pull his pants down…

"Underwear too," Umeda interrupted.

"God, you're so demanding," Shizuki chuckled, with another roll of his eyes. Sarcasm helped him hide his nervousness. He hooked his thumbs in the band of his underwear then yanked down. He slipped his legs out his pants then kicked them aside. He stood completely bare in front of Umeda for the first time. He felt a little awkward and worried. He hadn't felt that way around a lover for a long time. It was always like this the first time he made love with a new person. He felt like he was waiting to be judged.

"What are you so tense about?" Umeda smiled, reaching out to smooth his palms over Shizuki's hips. "You're perfect."

The blond rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Thanks." A little of the nervousness faded away, but not entirely. It would probably stay there until the night was over.

Umeda reached into the shower to turn on the hot water. He began to shed his own clothes methodically. He made sure to take his time. He let Shizuki watch him without a hint of shame. He was comfortable in his own skin. He knew he was a little thin, but over all still built well. He smiled up at Shizuki as he finally tossed his own briefs aside. The blond flushed at being caught staring, which Umeda found very cute.

Steam began to roll out of the shower in waves. Umeda reached back in to adjust the temperature down to a more bearable level. Then he took Shizuki's hand and backed into the shower. He closed his eyes and sighed as deliciously hot water began to pour down his back. He opened his eyes when he heard Shizuki's heels skid a little on the tiles. The blond had slid to a stop one step short of climbing into the shower. He stared in at Umeda hesitantly. His heart had jumped back up into his throat as fear started to coil in his gut once more. It was really irrational. Yet, somehow the shower felt like the visual line of no return. A line he'd shied away from for so long. It was only sex for God's sake. But for him it meant something much more.

Umeda stilled at the look of conflict on his boyfriend's face. It was a big step—a frightening one. He remembered how scared he'd been his first time sleeping with a guy. He didn't let go of the blond though. He just stood there, holding on, like an anchor for Shizuki's thoughts. He waited. The blond took a deep breath to calm himself. He focused once more on Umeda's eyes. They were such beautiful, piercing amber eyes. Right now they were showing him a depth of understanding he'd never seen in any lover who had looked at him—not even his ex-fiancé.

After a long moment, Umeda pulled Shizuki closer. To his great relief, the blond followed. The doctor pressed a soft kiss to his new lover's mouth in an unspoken promise. He carefully maneuvered them backward until they were both soaking under the heated spray of the shower head. Shizuki sighed softly as the warmth soothed his muscles and swept away the worry.

"Close your eyes." Umeda whispered. Shizuki found himself doing what he was told. "Don't think." He took one of the blond's hands in his and placed it over his heart. "Touch me." Shizuki's fingers twitched nervously. "It's ok. Don't think about anything. Just feel." He murmured into the blond's ears, lips slightly brushing the sensitive flesh.

Shizuki shivered at the butterfly touch. He let himself relax and do as Umeda said. Beneath his palm, the doctor's heart pounded quickly. He could feel every breath the other took. He concentrated on the soft feel of Umeda's skin. He reached up with his other hand to place it on the opposite side of the doctor's chest. For several moments, he stood there just feeling the doctor's heart tap out a beat and his breath lift his chest beneath Shizuki's hands. Finally, he felt brave enough to start exploring. He slid his hands upwards over broad shoulders, down deceptively strong arms, and weaved his fingers in between Umeda's long ones. He opened his eyes slowly so he could lean forward to kiss Umeda. Then he continued on with what he started. His hands went back up those arms, down the chest, to map out the flat plane of Umeda's belly. Every part of him was soft beneath Shizuki's fingers. He skimmed over trim hips that were almost bony, but not quite. He tipped his head down to look down at the doctor's erect cock. It had hardened a little more every second Shizuki had touched him. The blond chewed on his lip as he hesitated to touch that part of Umeda that was only inches from his hands.

He glanced up to see the doctor watching his patiently. He breathing was a little shallow like he was trying to control his own arousal. That was nearly impossible though. Umeda sucked in a harsh breath when the blond finally reached down to wrap one hand around him. Calloused fingers slid down the length of his cock before a thumb rubbed a circle into the head. Umeda's stomach trembled as he struggled to keep his hands to himself. He wanted nothing more than to slam Shizuki against the shower wall and fuck him hard. He forced himself to remember he had to go slow. He wouldn't touch until Shizuki was ready for him too. This was the blond's time to get comfortable about all of it. He wasn't gonna fuck things up because of his own desire.

Shizuki began to stroke the doctor in long, twisting slides of his palm. The weight of a cock in his hand felt good. He remembered it very well. He recalled how much he had enjoyed doing this for someone else. There was something intensely arousing about making someone come undone from his touch alone. He reached down with his other hand to cup Umeda's balls and roll them in his hand. Umeda swallowed audibly before groaning throatily. He spread his legs a little wider apart. He dropped his head forward to rest it on the blond's shoulder. His whole body was beginning to hum happily with the pleasure that was building in the base of his cock. He finally couldn't stand it any longer. He reached down to grab Shizuki's wrists.

"Things are gonna be over way to soon if you keep that up. As much as I like it, I'd like to get to the best part," Umeda smirked at Shizuki's questioning look.

The blond blushed then chuckled. "Alright."

Umeda reached back to shut off the water before stepping out of the shower. He grabbed a towel and dried off quickly before turning around to help the blond dry off. Shizuki laughed like a little kid when Umeda scrubbed the towel over the blond's dripping hair. The doctor grinned and kissed his lover hard on the mouth. He tossed the towel aside when he deemed them both dry enough to continue on to other activities. He grabbed the blond's hand again and led him into the bedroom again.

"My turn to explore," Umeda said pushing Shizuki down on to the bed. He pressed on the blond's chest until he finally laid flat. The doctor straddled Shizuki's thighs. He laid his hands on Shizuki's chest. He smiled reassuringly when he felt the racing heart beat beneath his fingers. He mirrored what the blond had done to him. He smoothed his hands over every inch of skin he could reach and followed after with his lips, pressing wet kisses onto the blond's skin. He stroked over Shizuki's cock a few times, and was delighted to see it twitch beneath his ministrations. He kissed the blond's stomach, mouthed his way down the trail of hair that led to Shizuki's cock. He paused just above the twitching length in his hands. He let his warm breath wash over the sensitive skin. He was rewarded with a sharp gasp from Shizuki as he squirmed his hips against the pleasant torment. Umeda dipped his head the rest of the way to drag his tongue over the blond's cock. Shizuki's hips jittered as the blond moaned brokenly. A moment later, Shizuki yelped in shock as Umeda's mouth closed around him and sucked hard. His hands flew down to bury themselves in mahogany hair, not sure if he was holding Umeda's head in place or just wanting something to hang on to. His thighs quaked as his orgasm began to build heavy in his balls. He whined desperately when the doctor suddenly rose off of him.

He swallowed thickly as Umeda reached over him to yank open the drawer of his night stand. After a moment of rummaging, the doctor pulled out a bottle of lube. He sat back on his hand before pouring some into his hand. Shizuki watched with interest as Umeda warmed it up in his palms. The blond moaned loudly when one slick hand reached down to wrap around his cock once more and stroke until his cock was thoroughly coated. By then, he was struggling once more not to lose it. He breathed heavily through his nose as he struggled to control his almost overwhelming need to come. Nervousness as well as intrigued interest stole over Shizuki as he watched Umeda reach around to open himself up with his fingers. It was erotic to see the look of sheer enjoyment on the doctor's face as he worked himself open. It was frightening, because suddenly Shizuki knew the last big step was only minutes away.

He thought his heart might explode from the fury pace it had picked up as Umeda finally moved to settle on his hips. He looked up at Umeda, disconcertion written plainly on his features. There was something exciting about your partner being on top during sex. However, it was his first time with a guy. It was different being held down like this by a guy. Engrained nature told him this was a threat. Guys didn't normally hold each other down like this unless it was meant to cause pain. He'd had his share of fights in school to know this. Plus, his brain kept trying to tell him what a stupid idea this was. Yet, every time he came close to calling quits he'd look into Umeda's eyes and become bewitched all over again. The doctor was so utterly fucking gorgeous; especially, right now.

Umeda was poised over him, straddling his waist and rubbing sensuously against his weeping cock. The doctor's cheeks were lightly flushed with arousal. His hair was disheveled while his lips were red and swollen from kisses. His eyes had gone from amber to a richer, deeper golden brown. Shizuki licked his lips as his eyes wandered down the doctor's body once more. Lust was winning out the argument waging war inside him once more. Shizuki was beginning to pant with want. He kept shivering with skittish excitement. He was desperately trying to crush the constant worry of what the hell he was about to do. He felt heady with desire, but his brain was trying to find a way to escape this situation. The doctor must have read the look in his eyes. A moment later, he was kissing Shizuki with wild passion, drowning the blond's fear in it. Shizuki gasped when he felt a hand on his cock once more. Umeda didn't stroke him though. He was merely holding Shizuki's cock in place. The blond arched into the firm contact and rubbed over Umeda's opening involuntarily. The doctor echoed his gasp a bit more harshly. Umeda broke the kiss to lean over and whisper into Shizuki's ear.

"Close your eyes," he urged the blond. "Don't open them until you're ready."

Shizuki nodded and closed them without question. He thought the doctor meant until he was ready to move to the next level.

He was wrong.

Umeda smiled devilishly. He lined himself up with the blond's cock then began to press himself downward. His eyes shuttered almost closed too as he breathed deep. He relaxed and opened himself up to take in the pulsing, slick length of his lover. The exquisite feeling of penetration washed over him in a mix of painful pleasure. The stretching sensation was a part of the perverse joy he loved as his body yielded eagerly to the intrusion. Beneath him, Shizuki moaned thickly, eyes shut tight, as his cock was swallowed whole. The impression of sliding inside of Umeda was both familiar and entirely alien to what the blond knew. He shuddered when he felt the tickle of skin against his balls. He knew that Umeda had taken him all the way inside. It felt like his cock was being gripped in a hot, moist silken glove. It was so much tighter than any woman he'd ever been with.

He opened his eyes, needing to see it for real. He felt like it was his first time having sex all over again. The awed feeling that was overwhelming was so much like the first time he'd been with a girl. This felt so much more intense though. Umeda let go his hands so he could reach out and touch where their bodies were connected. A shiver ran through the doctor at the feathery soft tickle of fingers that explored the rim of his hole then traveled up his taint. Umeda trembled with the need to move, but he forced himself to wait. A moment later, Shizuki's hands found his waist. He looked down to see the blond looking at him with an expression of awed surprise. Umeda swallowed hard. He couldn't wait anymore. He needed to move. He rose up slowly then sank down with a satisfied groan. The blond's lips parted as he sucked in a harsh breath. His eyes widened at the feeling of Umeda moving over and on him.

The doctor rode him slow and deep. Umeda was giving both of them time to adjust to each other. Shizuki couldn't seem to keep his hands still as Umeda rose and fell on him. The blond's hands roamed down strong thighs covered in soft, downy hair so unlike the sleek feel of a woman. Yet, he liked the difference. He found he liked the solid, more powerful feel of Umeda's body. The flat stomach, trim hips, broad chest and shoulders, and the endless, pale smooth skin. Umeda was truly beautiful. Shizuki could freely, honestly admit this now. His hands found Umeda's hips once more and traced circles into the sensitive skin there. The doctor sighed deeply. His eyes alighted on Shizuki's—deep, dark, and piercing—obviously enjoying the blond's explorative touch. His own hands were spread across the blond's chest. One hand was directly over Shizuki's heart, feeling the quick drum beat beneath his palm. He kept up his slow, steady pace despite the building desire to go faster—harder and deeper. He moaned softly with longing as Shizuki palmed his ass in both hands.

Shizuki read the deeper need in Umeda's eyes. He knew the doctor wanted more from him. Umeda needed the validation of Shizuki's feelings. This seemed to be the only way the doctor knew how to cement the permanence of their relationship. Shizuki understood that. He needed the bonded closeness that loving making caused as much as Umeda did. He wanted—no needed—to be the one who created that bond between them. Otherwise, there would always be the insecurity of uncertainty between them.

The blond took a deep breath and stilled the doctor's movements. Umeda's body trembled in his grasp. Shizuki pulled himself up into a sitting position. He took a moment to kiss the doctor deeply. His hands caressed Umeda's back in reassurance. The doctor whimpered into Shizuki's mouth as he slid his arms up around the younger man's neck. Shizuki deepened the kiss for a moment before breaking it off abruptly. Keeping himself inside of Umeda, he held the doctor steady as he shifted until his legs were underneath him. He dumped Umeda backward so that he was laying beneath Shizuki. Umeda stared up at him in surprise that quickly turned into dark lust. He pulled Shizuki roughly down to him and wrapped his legs around the blond's hips. He couldn't resist the urge to bite Shizuki's collar bone hard. The blond moaned and jerked in startled shock. The bite was soothed away with licks and kisses before Umeda trailed his lips up the blond's throat, nipping every so often. Shizuki trembled, rocking his hips in an unconscious effort to get closer. He dipped his head catching the doctor's lips with his. They kissed with mounting desperate need. Uncertainty melted beneath Umeda's constant touches and attention. Awkwardness was losing its hold on Shizuki. Lust and need were burning those worries away.

The blond began to move. He thrust into Umeda with deep, smooth rhythmic rolls of his hips. Finally, he completely let go of his reservations. Umeda smiled as he kissed the blond's jaw. At long last, he knew that everything would be alright. Shizuki's right hand slid up his thigh and under Umeda's knee before pushing the doctor's leg up higher to change the angle of his thrusts. Umeda gladly let the blond bend him where ever he wanted. A second later, Umeda was supremely grateful he did. He threw back his head with a sharp gasp as Shizuki's cock struck his sweet spot with enough force to make him see stars.

"Oh fuck," he exclaimed sharply. Before the pleasant feel of a cock inside him had been really good but not enough to satisfy. Now, that feeling had changed to electric like jolts that reverberated down every nerve in his body. Shizuki looked down at him, worried and taken aback by the doctor's reaction. Umeda tightened his arms around the blond, whimpering, "Please!" He was rewarded with a sharper, deeper thrust. "Yessss…like that!" he growled roughly.

Shizuki was lost. The primal lust in Umeda's voice had come close to completely undoing him. The wild glint in the doctor's eyes urged him on more than his own aching need did. He picked up the pace and the intensity. He learned to aim his thrusts so that each one caused Umeda to writhe and keen beneath him. The doctor was just as lost. His hips bucked in time with Shizuki's as he pressed his body tighter against the blond. Umeda felt so filled. The feeling was perfection. It was overwhelming his body and mind. He was being swept up in a tide of ecstatic sensation. Every thrust was stoking the fire inside him to almost unbearable levels. Their bodies flowed back and forth in perfect harmony. They were unable to think past the now. They were wrapped up in the feel, taste, smell, and sounds of each other. Shizuki had never felt this connected or in tune with anyone. He was caught up in Umeda that he almost couldn't tell where he ended and the other began. He'd never had anyone who gave themselves so completely like Umeda. The doctor held nothing back.

Their movements soon became more desperate and jagged. Both were drawing close to reaching their climaxes. Umeda was nearly frantic with need. His whole body seemed to be begging Shizuki for release from the blissful agony he was in. His breath was almost sobbing in his throat. Tears were beginning to creep out from beneath his tightly shut eyes. He was so besieged by the gratification that he thought he might burst. Yet, he remained poised just on the edge of release. He felt like a man on a cliff wind milling his arms to stay up, but wanting to fall. Every other breath was a pleaded please to let him go free. It was exquisite torture.

Shizuki drank in every detail of the man beneath him. Umeda was so open and honest about the pleasure he was feeling. He was in awe that he was causing the doctor to experience such in intense ecstasy. His own pleasure was amplified because of it. He was so close to letting go, but refused to give in before Umeda did. He wanted to see what the doctor looked like when he came.

He tipped Umeda's lower body up higher and plunged himself inside of Umeda with hard, deep jerks of his hips. His cock hit Umeda's sweet spot with just the right amount of force to slam the doctor over the edge. Umeda's back bowed up and seemed to freeze in place just for a moment. Fire seemed to scorch down his nerves. Then he exploded, shouting in glorious release. He flung his head back as his fingers dug into Shizuki's back. The blond was enthralled by the total abandon and bliss etched on the doctor's beautiful face. Shizuki's orgasm snuck up on him unprepared as Umeda's body convulsed around his cock. His hips jittered as his climax ripped through him. His body shuttered as he came so hard inside Umeda that his vision went dark around the edges. His mouth fell open as he gasped roughly, completely undone by the sensations racing through him. His arms gave out after a moment and he collapsed on top of Umeda. The doctor's arms wrapped around him and held him close. Shizuki turned his head to kiss Umeda's throat. They stayed that way for several minutes as little aftershocks of pleasure continued to zing through their bodies. Shizuki raised himself up, intending to roll to the side, but Umeda's arms tighten around him.

"Thank you," Umeda whispered.

Shizuki looked down into those amber eyes and smiled warmly. "No, thank you. That was incredible."

"Good," the doctor smiled back. He tipped his head up to kiss the blond fiercely. He pulled back a moment later. "I love you."

Shizuki returned his kiss gently. "I love you too. Now let me get off you before I crush you."

Umeda chuckled. "You're not crushing me, but ok." He let his arms slid free of Shizuki. He hummed in disappointment as the blond's cock slipped out of him. Shizuki rolled to his side and flung his arm around Umeda's hips. They laid there for a while like that in silence. Exhaustion stole through them, dragging their eyes downward as they relaxed further. Shizuki reached down to pull the covers up. When he re-settled and looked over at his new lover, Umeda had already passed out. Shizuki laid beside the doctor, staring up at the ceiling as he went over everything that had just happened. He glanced over at Umeda and smiled. The doctor was stretched out on his side. His mahogany hair was a wreck, but in a sexy 'I just got laid' kinda way. His long lashed were fanned across the top of his cheeks in half moon arches. His lips, that were swollen and bruised from some many kisses, were parted as he breathed deep. He looked so amazingly beautiful. Shizuki was glad he could finally admit that to himself now.

Sex with Umeda had been wonderful. He'd never felt that kind of complete abandon and passion from anyone he'd ever slept with. He'd never felt that close to anyone ever. Umeda had been slow and understanding with him in the beginning when he so desperately needed it. Shizuki would never forget that first time of sliding inside of Umeda. The doctor had felt so different than a woman. He was so hot and tight, fuck so damned perfect. His dick throbbed a little just remembering.

The smell of sex still lingered thick in the sheets and on their skin. It was musky—so very male. He liked it. He wondered how he'd been able to fool himself for so long. He'd denied who and what he was for so many years that it was amazing Umeda had seen the truth about him. Gay had always been like a death sentence for Shizuki. But with Umeda it was freedom. He could finally love honestly with all his heart. He didn't feel like something was missing like he had with all his girlfriends. He'd loved them. He really had. Yet, somehow they were never enough. It had taken him a long time to find himself. Still, it was Umeda who'd found him first.

He looked down at Umeda again and considered himself lucky. He'd finally found the person he was meant to be with. It had taken him a few long trips several thousand miles away from his home to Japan to find his lover. They'd clashed horribly in the beginning. They'd kissed, fought, danced, and hurt each other. It'd taken a scolding from his younger sister to make him see the light. (He'd have to thank her later.) He didn't regret anything that had happened. All of it had happened for a reason to bring him to this point. Everything after this didn't seem so daunting or even so important anymore. He had his future lying right beside him.

For the first time, in a long time, he was completely happy.

/

Umeda woke up in the morning to soft, passionate kisses. He didn't resist when Shizuki pushed him onto his back. He reached up and wrapped his arms around the blond. He sighed happily when Shizuki buried himself inside of Umeda. They made love slow and gently. He moaned when their rhythm started to lose coordination as they got close to the end. Tears slipped down his cheeks when the blond came with a gasp of Umeda's name. They were kissed away with a soft I love you. Umeda smiled softly as he hugged Shizuki tightly. God, he could get used to waking up this way every morning.

That thought made him incredibly happy. He burned the moment into his mind with a fierce kiss.

/

The end

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Be a responsible reader and review!

Yes, it's over! I know, I'm sad too. I want to give a great big appreciative thank you to everyone who reviewed and continued to come back every chapter. You all were awesome. Many of you were a great inspiration on how to work together certain parts with questions or suggestions. This story turned out so much better than I had expected. I'm so glad I converted so many of you over to the UxS pairing as well. :D