Suppressed

AN: hmm... so these guys seem out of character, but I guess it\'s because I\'m trying to reveal a side of them that we don\'t really see so much... the side of Kyo that goes after what he wants and won\'t give up, (this side is unabashedly affectionate, like he\'s always wanted to be, but has never been able to. He thinks his affection is the only way to hold onto Yuki, probably because of Yuki\'s ordeal with Haru) and the weaker side of Yuki that he tries so desperately to hide from everyone, (but Kyo\'s got him all figured out) I think when I write character interactions with them and other characters they\'ll seem more like themselves, but they bring out unique sides of each other that hardly anyone else ever sees. Anyway, enjoy the chapter. As always, criticism is always welcome!!!


Standard Disclaimer: Not mine.

“BYE GUYS! BE SAFE!!!” Tohru called on her way to work, leaving the two boys to walk home together.

They bid her adieu and headed home. They walked in awkward silence, Kyo tried desperately to think of something to say. Any form of cognitive thought flew out the window, however, when Yuki ever so nonchalantly slid his fingers through Kyo’s. His heart rate increased and he snapped his head around at the rat. Yuki was staring straight ahead, looking a little nervous, but not nearly as shaken up as Kyo. He turned his head and met the cat’s gaze. They smiled shyly at each other, and continued home. Kyo squeezed his hand tightly to his own pressing their palms together. He inhaled deeply trying to calm the pitter-patter of his heart.

The silence became unbearable as they approached their house.

“I… uh…” Kyo began. He blushed.

Yuki smiled. “What to say when you aren’t trying to pick a fight with me…” He said coyly.

“I AM NOT ALWAYS TRYING TO PICK A FIGHT WITH YOU!” Kyo screamed.

Yuki gave him a doubtful glance.

“WHAT?!?”

Yuki shrugged and kept walking. As they neared the clearing where Shigure’s house stood, Yuki retracted his hand from Kyo’s and walked forward. The kitty blushed furiously, he forgot that their fingers had been intertwined.

“HEY!” He called chasing after Yuki. “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!?”

Yuki ignored him as they went inside.

“How was school?” Shigure sang. They both ignored him; Shigure cried.

“DON’T BACK OUT ON ME!!!”

Yuki ascended the stairs.

“I’M TALKING TO YOU!!!”

“Can’t you ever be quiet?” Yuki teased.

“WHY DON’T YOU TRY AND MAKE ME!?!”

The rat shrugged. “O.K.”

“I’LL SHUT YOU UP! YOU JUST COME OVER HERE AND…”

Yuki backed Kyo against the wall in the hallway and pressed his lips to the cat’s. Kyo sighed, and pushed back into Yuki’s kiss, lapping at the rat’s tongue as it explored his mouth. Yuki pulled back, smiling. Kyo could feel the glazed expression in his eyes. Yuki stared at him intently, briefly recapturing his lips. The mouse turned and headed to his room. Kyo gave him an inquisitive look.

“Do you just want to stand out here until Shigure comes up here to try to figure out how I shut you up so quickly? And without breaking his house, I might add.”

Kyo shook his head and followed Yuki into his bedroom. They heard Shigure creep up the stairs. Yuki smiled knowingly.

“See.” He whispered.

Kyo nodded and waited for the stairs to creek again. He advanced upon Yuki, playfully pushing him onto his futon. Yuki gazed at the cat through a darkened vise as Kyo descended upon his prey, capturing his lips into a passionate lock. Yuki moaned softly as he wrapped his arms around Kyo, encouraging him with his embrace. Kyo was caught in the heat of passion. He planted heated kisses all over the rat’s face and neck. He pulled away suddenly and shuttered.

“Are you O.K.?” Yuki asked, concerned.

Kyo nodded. “De ja vu.” He explained, “I’ve been getting that a lot lately.” He paused. “I wonder how that works…”

“Well,” Yuki began, “your brain releases certain chemicals when you are remembering something. But sometimes those chemicals get released when you aren’t, so it gives you the feeling like it is a memory, or that you dreamed it.”

Kyo chuckled. “That was a rhetorical question.”

Yuki shrugged. “You asked.”

“I mean, who knows that?” He smiled, moving in to recapture Yuki’s lips.

The mouse pulled away. He looked troubled.

“What’s wrong?” Kyo asked.

Yuki shrugged. “Oh, nothing.” He sat up. “I need to get changed out of this uniform.” He pulled at his tie.

“I can help.” Kyo offered, surprising himself at his own audacity.

Yuki faced him wide eyed, jaw gaping.

“Yeah, yeah,” Kyo mumbled, feigning disappointment. “I get the hint.” He started toward the door.

“You don’t have to go.”

Kyo smiled and placed a big kiss on Yuki’s lips. “It’s O.K., I have to change anyway.” He paused at the door. “I uh… meant what I said today.”

Yuki looked slightly confused.

“I really do love you.” Kyo blushed.

Yuki’s gaze softened. He looked away. “I love you too.” He paused. “And nothing will convince me otherwise.” He added quietly.

“You’ve tried?!?”

Yuki shrugged. “Haven’t you?”

“Good point.” He smiled and ducked out of Yuki’s bedroom.

The following weeks went relatively smoothly for the newly coupled cat and rat. Though much to Kyo’s dismay, Yuki would freak out on occasion, questioning the very foundation of their relationship.

“Do you really think we should be doing this?”

“I’m not Haru.”

“I know but…”

Kyo would always interrupt him with a kiss of some sort, promising the rat his undying love. It seemed so very strange to the cat that his feelings for Yuki could completely turn in such a short time period. On the other hand, maybe they had been developing for a very long time and he denied them, suppressed them if you will. It occurred to Kyo that it was the suppression of these feelings that was causing his intense night terrors. They seemed to have subsided since he admitted his feelings to Yuki, but more importantly to himself. Right now, though, it didn’t matter. Kyo finally found something he wanted. This someone brought him joy and hope, emotions that are a luxury to members of the zodiac. Well, members of the zodiac and the cat of course. He’d be damned if he let this someone slip away from him. He wouldn’t be like Haru. Though troubling, he dismissed Yuki’s occasional “Should we really be together” ’s as a hazard of dating someone who was forever tainted by Haru’s uncertainty and Akito’s cruelty.

Kyo was more than fine with stealing secret kisses in the hallway, but he was starting to long for a more intimate relationship. He longed to feel Yuki’s bare skin against his own, but for some reason, whenever the kitty would try to push him along, Yuki would shy away, refusing to remove even his shirt. Kyo longed for intimacy not only physically, but emotionally as well. It seemed like right before he was about to say something important, he’d clam up and spout his ‘we shouldn’t be together’ rhetoric. Kyo had to admit, though, the two were growing closer by every passing second. He could empathize with Yuki’s silence, thus he didn’t push him too hard. He read between Yuki’s words to decipher the rat’s aims. He also wished they could be more public with their relationship, but considering the circumstances, he understood Yuki’s hesitance to come out with it. He knew he’d protect Yuki with every bit of courage he had, he’d defy his dreams, but Yuki didn’t know that. ‘Damn Haru,’ he thought. Someday they’d be able to be public. ‘Someday.’

One evening after school, Tohru was at work, and god only knew where Shigure was. If history spoke of anything, he probably was out avoiding his editor, and she was probably running about trying to hang herself or something. Kyo thought this would be the perfect opportunity to try to get Yuki to open up about… anything, interruption free.

He knocked lightly on Yuki’s door. “Just a minute!” Yuki called. Kyo heard him scramble around and open his door, still adjusting the buttons on his collar.

“I wouldn’t mind seeing you with your shirt off, you know.” Kyo commented upon coming face to face with his almost lover.

Yuki shrugged. “Sorry, it’s a habit.”

Kyo nodded. “Can I come in?” He asked.

Yuki stepped aside, shutting his door behind him.

“Mmm.” Kyo mumbled wrapping his arms securely around Yuki’s waist. “I’ve been waiting all day for this.” He said, closing his eyes and burying his face in Yuki’s neck.

The rat sighed and kissed Kyo’s forehead, nodding in agreement.

“I hate having to keep you a secret.” Kyo grumbled. He nuzzled into the mouse’s soft hair.

Yuki steered him to his futon, where they flopped down still entangled in each other’s arms. They lay together in silence, caressing the other with their roaming hands. Kyo sighed happily. This was when he felt closest to Yuki, exploring his body, touch for touch, kiss for kiss. Regardless of the innocence of his intentions, their little clothed anatomy sessions quickly escalated into something more heated.

Yuki rolled on top of Kyo. The kitty could feel Yuki’s erection pressing into his. Kyo groaned and flexed his hips, causing more friction between the pulsating shafts. The rat cupped the cat’s bulge through his cargo pants, capturing Kyo’s moan of pleasure with his mouth. Kyo arched into his hand, direly wishing he could shuck his pants. Kyo groped for Yuki’s erection, praying he’d make the rat feel the same way. His plan worked surprisingly well. Yuki drew in a sharp breath and his eyes widened as Kyo worked his hands around his penis and testicles. His eyes were veiled by a darkened glaze as he planted a rough row of kisses down the cat’s neck. Kyo shifted to his side, allowing his hands to snake up Yuki’s shirt. The rat put his knee between Kyo’s legs, stimulating the kitty with his thigh every time either of them attempted to move. Kyo groaned as his frustrations mounted. He tried to unfasten the buttons around Yuki’s collar. The rat backed away from him immediately.

Kyo sat up. “Yun Yun.” He whispered, concerned. He adopted this accidental nickname for Yuki somewhere along the line. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Yuki looked ashamed. “I just don’t want to…”

Kyo sighed. He rolled on top of the rat, snuggling to the side of his face. He rested his forehead on Yuki’s. “It isn’t important to me that you don’t want to,” he began, “I just want to know why.”

“I… just don’t want to.” Yuki’s eyes were downcast.

“Yuki, please tell me.”

The rat sighed, briefly making eye contact with Kyo’s pleading orbs. “It’s just that… well… Akito. He…” He was having a hard time completing a thought, but Kyo was getting the picture.

The cat’s temperature began to rise as his blood started to boil. ‘Damn Akito.’ He thought. “Listen, you damn rat!” He spat. “I don’t care what he’s done.”

“But you don’t understand.”

Kyo shrugged. “Ah… you’re right. I probably don’t.” He paused. “But I don’t want him to always be between us.” Yuki remained silent as Kyo took a deep breath. “We don’t have to do anything, I just want to…” Kyo blushed, he wasn’t very good at articulating his desires. He swallowed. “…feel your skin.”

Yuki looked like he was going to be sick. Kyo again toyed with the buttons on Yuki’s collar. He peered pleadingly into Yuki’s frightened eyes. He pulled the piece of fabric over the rat’s head as Yuki struggled to free Kyo from his tee shirt. Kyo tried not to gasp as he saw the marks lacing around Yuki’s back and sides. Old welts, some purple, some pink, wrapped around Yuki’s slender body. Kyo closed his eyes and lay back down; he wanted to cry.

He felt Yuki sigh beneath him. “That’s why.” The rat whispered, dejected.

Kyo swallowed. “When did it happen?” His voice sounded horse and foreign.

Yuki shrugged. “Which time?”

The kitty wrapped his arms around Yuki. He squeezed him as tightly as he could. “This last time, was it about Haru?”

Yuki nodded, refusing to make eye contact.

Kyo kissed Yuki’s cheek. “Has he always been like that with you?”

Yuki nodded again. His eyes had become cold and hard.

“No wonder you took a punch to the face without flinching.” Kyo commented. He suddenly felt a deep sense of respect for the rat for the pain he had endured through out his life. He realized how completely ludicrous his hatred of Yuki had been. He’d always been so jealous of the rat, but never stopped to think of what Yuki had gone through. Kyo’s mom had wished for the child of the rat, but Yuki’s sold him to the devil himself. Even as a grown man, Yuki was unable to defend himself. Kyo sighed. “You don’t have to hide behind your cold stare, Yun Yun, at least not in front of me.” He urged. Yuki didn’t answer.

Kyo rolled off of the rat and drew him into his arms. He acted like a rag doll. Kyo could feel a lump rising in his throat. He could feel Yuki’s fear, his pain. And this was only at the mere mention of Akito’s name. He pulled Yuki’s face into his neck, and hugged him tightly. He could now see the full measure of marks staining Yuki’s back. He shuddered as he felt tears begin to sting the corners of his eyes. Yuki’s shoulders began to shake slightly and his breath became uneven. He felt Yuki return his embrace and his hot tears as they pooled on the cat’s neck. Kyo held onto the rat until he fell asleep in his arms. Kyo vowed revenge. “I’ll take care of you.” He whispered through his own tears. “I’ll never let him hurt you again.”