The Bad Adult Anime Fanfic

Part A: Class is in Session!

A/N: One of the reviews for chapter one stated that I should have set the InuYasha chapter in a high school. Well, high school crapfics are far more common in Naruto. There are a lot of Naruto high school cliches out there. So many in fact that I've had to break this chapter down into parts.

Chapter disclaimer: I don't see why there's all this huge fuss about not having a disclaimer everybody is just so whiny about it so I won't do it.

Summary: They have sex, isn't that enough to know?(0)

Marty Stu was not pleased at all with how Mary Sue held herself in the last chapter.

"All right, sis. I'm taking this back." He said.

"Hey, I want to continue on too!" Mary Sue whined. "I want to get laid too you know! Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't get horny too."

"Fine, we'll go together into the next world." Marty Stu said.

They bamfed into the parking lot of the Japanese high school together. Marty Stu looked around the place.

"Oh, a high school this time, hmm?" Marty Stu asked. "Bring on the cheerleader babes!"

"Show me the football player hunks!" Mary Sue added. The two of them were nearly run over by a group of ninjas.

"Hey! Out of my way! We're gonna be late!" The male blonde said. Mary Sue and Marty Stu were not happy about being run over like this.

"Hey pal! Nobody runs over Marty Stu like that!" Marty Stu said. He and Mary Sue followed the group inside.

It turned out the trio that nearly ran them over them were named Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke. Marty Stu and Mary Sue looked over their three assailants.

"Well, she seems... Passable." Marty Stu said. "Her boobs could be bigger though."

"Well, the brunette guy seems nice, but the the blonde guy seems like an idiot." Mary Sue said. "So what's your name, stud? I'm Mary Sue."

"Sasuke. You know, you are looking quite beautiful today." Sasuke replied.

"Thank you." Mary Sue said. Sakura wasn't too thrilled about some girl hitting on her man.

"Hey! Sasuke is *mine!*" Sakura said.

"Oh yea? I'm Mary Sue and I always get what I want." Mary Sue replied with brattiness.

"You sound a bit disturbed, Mary Sue. Let's talk about your feelings." Sasuke said. Sakura turned to face him, and looked even angrier.

"Why the hell can't you be like that to me!?" Sakura asked Sasuke with anger in her voice.

"I'm sorry, Sakura. I turn into dreamboat! Sasuke only when I'm in the presence of a Mary Sue." Sasuke replied. (1)

"Goddamn crapfics." Sakura muttered.

"Well, why don't you have at my brother? He's always looking for a woman to satisfy him." Mary Sue said.

"Hey babe, the name's Marty Stu. What's yours?" Marty Stu asked.

"Sakura." She said as she blushed.

Sakura's inner voice took over for a bit.

"What the hell are you thinking!? He's an obvious Marty Stu! He's utterly repulsive!" Sakura's inner voice said.

"I know, I know. But He's Marty Stu, so I'm required to fall madly in love with him, even though I wouldn't normally give him the time of day." Sakura replied.

"This will not end up good." Sakura's inner voice said. (2)

"Okay class, that's enough of that." the teacher Tenten said as the bell rang. (3) "Now, who are these two people here? You two are out of uniform!"

"My name is Mary Sue and I'll wear any damn thing I want!" Mary Sue said with brattiness.

"I'm Marty Stu and I'll wear what I want too!" Marty Stu added with equal brattiness. (4)

"Oh, well, in that case, just have a seat." Tenten said.

"Well, Mary Sue and I already have every doctorate imaginable. Still that won't stop us from going to your school." Marty Stu said.

"Well, we have two new students here. Their names are Mary Sue and Marty Stu. Tell us about yourselves, won't you?" Tenten asked.

"Meh, I'm just here to get laid. You couldn't possibly teach me anything." Marty Stu said. "Why, oh why can't I find me some babes that will satisfy me!?"

"I'm searching for my own little harem of cute guys too." Mary Sue said. "I think I've found one already."

"Whatever. Now, let's get on with today's lesson." Tenten said. "We're going to learn how to do the chakra fukusu hapusanto powaija kazutan de whee-whoo! attack." Tenten said. (5)

"That's the dumbest name I've ever heard for an attack." Sakura said.

"Not only that, it doesn't deal as much damage as the dreaded Kakikukekofu attack." Marty Stu said.

"Kakikukekofu was banned for being to destructive! How do you know about that attack!?" Tenten asked.

"He's Marty Stu. He knows everything." The class responded in unison.

"I really need a vacation... Especially from crapfics." Tenten said.

"Of course, the secret is maintaining your balance." Marty Stu said.

"Well, they can't all be you, now can they? You've got to crawl before you can walk." Tenten said. Naruto stood up and smiled.

"Ha! I fear nothing! Sow me how to do this attack!" Naruto said.

"All right." Marty Stu said. He stood up and went over to the attack dummy. Marty Stu then stood on his hands. Flipped upwards, did a somersault, twisted around, and nailed the dummy in the stomach. Marty Stu's attack was so powerful that he shattered the dummy into splinters.

"Wow... That looked impressive, even if the description of it wasn't." Sakura said. (6)

"I always impress the babes." Marty Stu said. (Even though Sakura really wanted to throw up, she said she was impressed.) Tenten merely rolled his eyes.

"Are you done showing off, Mr... Say, what is your last name anyway?" Tenten asked.

"Furefureppoppotanmininakisawashiromorindegoizaimasen-Smith-Smythe-Smith." Marty Stu said. Tenten looked at Marty Stu as if he had lost his mind.

"That's why most people call us by our first names." Mary Sue said. (7)

"Well, How about I just call you Mr. Fure for short? Anyway, there's still the matter of me being the teacher here..." Tenten said.

"Come on, this is bad fan fiction. Teachers aren't supposed to know anything." Marty Stu said. (8)

"Besides, you're the Rodney Dangerfield of the Naruto fandom. You get no respect." Mary Sue added.

"Well, that's true." Tenten said. "I wish it weren't though. Well now, Naruto-kun. You try the attack."

"Yeah! This is going to be so great... I'm gonna beat 'em all! You just - ah, who am I fooling? I'm never going to be a Hokage. I'll never get that babe Sakura." Naruto said.

"What the hell?" Sakura asked.

"I can't help it if all the badfic writers make my happiness a facade for TEH ANGST." Naruto whangsted. "Sakura is so hot but she loves Sasuke. I'll never know the touch of a hot babe." (9)

"Hey pal, wangst is *MY* domain." Marty Stu said sternly.

"And mine." Mary Sue added with anger in her voice as well. "Get your own schtick."

"But this is it." Naruto sobbed.

"Are you done wangsting yet? I'd like to teach class here." Tenten said.

"Well, I suppose that I could let you teach here." Marty Stu said.

"I'd rather learn from Marty Stu anytime!" Sakura said.

"Listen girl, I am the higher ranking ninja here! I am supposed to be in charge! Now, the chakra fukusu hapusanto powaija kazutan whee-whoo! Attack starts with one-handed chakra moves like this." Tenten said. He then made a few gestures with one hand, and then proceeded to strike another dummy in the stomach. This made a small hole in the dummy. Marty Stu and Mary Sue yawned.

"Ooh, synchronized yawning. That's not very useful in a battle situation." Tenten said.

"Ah, what do you know? Marty Stu is THE KEWL no matter what he does!" Sakura said.

"I can't believe you said that with a straight face." Naruto said.

"I had to. He's Marty Stu." Sakura said.

Frankly, I'd rather kiss Naruto's ass than kiss him, Sakura thought. She knew better; in a bad adult fanfic, if she honked off Marty Stu, she'd end up being paired with someone even worse than Naruto. She'd have to do things she didn't want, like taking it in the ass. Fortunately, the bell rang and it was time for lunch.

Lunch came and everyone gathered in the cafeteria. They all sat down together and ate their meals. Marty Stu chowed down on a hamburger and fries.

"How did you suddenly get an American meal in a Japanese high school?" Sakura wondered aloud.

"I wouldn't get my hopes up for an explanation." Mary sue said. (10) She chowed down on a salad.

"Well, once we're done I'm going to challenge you to a fight, Marty Stu! Because I'm not just angsty! Naruto, I'm Uberstupid! Angsty! Naruto!" Naruto said.

"Are you sure you want to do that? Fights with Marty Stu always end up with him winning." Sakura said.

"Of course! I'm a total moron thanks to this badfic! Besides, It'll give you girls a chance to swoon over how TEH SMECKSY he is in beating me." Naruto said.

"It's your funeral." Marty Stu said.

"I'll beat you! I know all your weaknesses! I know how to do it! I... Oh, who am I kidding? Marty Stus NEVER have any weaknesses! I've going to make a total ass of myself and get my butt kicked again!" Naruto whined.

"Hey pal, STAY away from TEH ANGST." Mary sue admonished. "Besides, that's the second time you've gotten to angst while I haven't had any this chapter!"

"Well, you're more than welcome to angst now." Sasuke said. "I'll be there to comfort you."

"Oh, why is it that I can't find that special man? I just want a couple of good men to fuck! Is that really too much to ask?" Mary Sue wangsted.

"Well Mary Sue, I'm here for you in your hour of need." Sasuke said.

"Thanks, Sasuke. Now if I could just get another guy...." Mary Sue said.

"Why do you want two guys? One is enough of a headache." Sakura said.

"Because I'm Mary Sue and I get to have the best of the best!" Mary Sue replied, her brattiness pounding the point in with a sledgehammer.

"Oh, okay." Sakura said.


Well, the stage was set. After lunch was gym class. Naruto stood opposite Marty Stu on the gym floor.

"Okay mister, you're going down!" Naruto shouted as he raced for Marty Stu. Once Naruto got there, Marty Stu grabbed Naruto and threw him over his shoulder. Naruto landed with a thud on the floor.

"Ow!" Naruto said as he hit the floor. Sakura smiled as she saw Marty Stu flex his muscles.

"Mmm... Me likey..." she said about Marty Stu. Naruto stood up and then used the vision to see into Marty Stu's mind. After making a few hand gestures, Naruto blindsided Marty Stu with a diving kick. Marty Stu staggered but did not fall.

"Hey! You're not supposed to be able to hurt me!" Marty Stu said.

"I know now how to defeat you, Marty Stu. Bring it on!" Naruto said. Marty Stu then tried to strike Naruto several times. However, Naruto managed to dodge every shot.

"Hey, I'm not supposed to miss! This is making me look bad in front of the girls!" Marty Stu said.

"I know everything! I can see your moves before you make them!" Naruto said.

"So that's it; you're reading my mind. Well, I can take care of that..." Marty Stu said. Naruto then grabbed his face, covering his eyes and wincing.

"OW! MY EYES!! I WANT TO UNSEE THAT!!" Naruto shouted.

"What the hell did you do to him!?" Sakura asked.

"Well, he seems to love you. So I visualized you naked... With a huge doomcock." Marty Stu said.

"You're kidding, right?" Sakura said. "I'm supposed to find that sexy?" (11)

"He sure didn't." Mary Sue said.

"Mommy! Make it stop!" Naruto whined. Mary Sue then came over and put her arms around Naruto.

"There there, everything will be just fine..." Mary Sue said. Naruto put his head on Mary Sue's copious tits.

"Mmm... Yes, this is much better..." Naruto moaned. Mary Sue smiled.

"They never can resist the boobs." Mary Sue said. Sasuke came up behind Mary Sue and put his hands on her shoulders.

"It's sweet of you to let Naruto rest his head on your chest." Sasuke said.

"God this is nauseating." Sakura said. Marty Stu came up to her and started caressing her shoulders.

"Sakura, you're really too uptight. Relax, let things flow." Marty Stu said. Sakura couldn't help but smile.

"I can't help it. Badfic writers tend to make me superbitch! Sakura." Sakura replied. "But it's better than sleazy! Sakura."

"Well, sleazy is coming up. It's not you though." Marty Stu said.

-To Be Continued-

(0) Once again, we have a crappy disclaimer and summary. NO, it is NOT ENOUGH to know that they have sex. Practically EVERY fic on this site has sex in it. Also, someone this clueless about what a disclaimer should be shouldn't be writing fan fiction. Ever receive a C & D order? Not fun.
(1) Sasuke is a quiet moralist of a young man and something of a loner. Turning him into the dreamboat hunk that says all the right things at the right time is OOC for him.
(2) Why is it everyone *has* to love Marty Stu/Mary Sue? These two would be very annoying in real life.
(3) Japanese schools use the Westminster chimes to announce the beginning of the day.
(4) Japanese schools have strict uniform regulations. If one is even the least bit out of this uniform, then they are sent home and not permitted to return that day. One day lost in a Japanese school is like losing a month in the USA.
Secondly, ever hear of registering for school? Getting a schedule? ONLY Mary Sue and Marty Stu get to avoid the paperwork.
(5) What the hell kind of name is this for an attack? The longer an attack name, the stupider it sounds. Not only that, this sounds like a bunch of Japanese syllables randomly strung together with a whee-whoo added at the end for no apparent reason. If you're going to do something like this, research!!
(6) Some big fancy attack, hmm? Don't be unimpressive with your description of it.
(7) Don't be overly pretentious in your names. This sounds like a bunch of Japanese syllables randomly thrown together (again.) There are sites with common Japanese last names, look them up!
(8) Teachers are there to help people, and show them how things are. They speak from experience, and were your age at one time too. Sadly, instead of embracing the learning, students hate them, mock them, and call them ogres. Why? The students are being led down the road to ruin. If they're not doing well, the students blame the teachers instead of seeking help. They're being taught to hate their teachers by a society that wants them to fail.
Another thing: Why is it nobody respects Tenten? Sure, he's even more annoying than Naruto at times, but he's not an incompetent fool.
(9) What the hell!? Naruto is NOT angsty. GET OVER IT. You may like to wallow in that shit, but Naruto doesn't.
(10) Japanese schools do not usually serve American food. Students usually bring their own bentos (or have someone else make one for them.) Then there's stands that sell buns or Japanese food.
(11) Doomcocks and doomboobs are just stupid. A male would have trouble walking with a penis that is as tall as he is. A woman would have trouble standing up with breasts the size of SUVs. It doesn't work in fanart, and it won't work in fan fiction.