Silent Acceptance

Title: Silent Acceptance
Anime: Haru wo Daite Ita
Rating: Mature



All in the Timing


Sawa paced the floor in Makoto's office. Even sunglasses and his new scarf couldn't hide his nervousness. Perhaps this is what father's felt in the maternity ward.

“For crying out loud, Sawa-san, sit down. And lose the disguise. You've been in here for nearly a half hour.”

“But you said that the fax from Taboo was supposed to be an hour ago,” Sawa whined.

Go Jou was released the day before, and Sawa couldn't sleep. He skipped tea and had several cup of coffee on the way to her office to find out how well it sold and was filled with nervous energy and caffeine.

Makoto, unimpressed, glared at him and pointed to the couch across from her desk. Like a child admonished by his mother, Sawa sat, removing his shades and scarf, trying to keep his legs from jittering.

The fax machine rang mere seconds later. Sawa nearly jumped from the couch to it, eagerly looking as the paper printed. Makoto walked up far calmer than he, gently pushing him back before he literally inhaled the paper.

“Looks good,” she observed once it was done printing. “You're number 5, and that's not bad for your first major work on the first day. Congratulations.”

Sawa couldn't believe it. Enough people purchased his novel the first day to place him in the top five. It boggled his mind. His doubts about his ability to write dissipated with every mental repetition of the words “Number 5”. All the nervous energy left him as well, as his legs buckled beneath him.

“Here, have a seat,” Makoto pushed her desk chair over for him and set about getting him a glass of water. “We have to set up a couple of local book signings first, of course. You know, You really shouldn't be so surprised. Yukihito and I told you it was good.”

At the mention of Yukihito's name, Sawa's energy returned. He shot up from the chair, grabbing his scarf and wrapping it around his head. “That can wait until later, I have to go and tell Yukihito the good news. School is nearly done and he'd love to hear about this as soon as possible. Could you drive me there, please?”


*********

Yukihito placed the last of the board erasers back on the blackboard. Dusting them was a task he loathed the most; it left his hands covered in chalk dust which meant his gray uniform got a few white streaks as well. Luckily, next week's school chore would have him taking out the trash. Closed bags full of mostly paper would be far easier to deal with. He'd also wouldn't have to even see Suzuki-sensei at the end of the day.

She caught up as he was walking out of the school. “Yukihito-kun, before you go...”

“Yes?”

“Do you remember what we talked about the other day when I came to visit?”

“Yes,” Yukihito remembered it well. She wanted his “blessing” to pursue Sawa romantically. Even though Sawa reassured him that Suzuki had no chance of winning his heart, the woman's persistence worried Yukihito. She was bright and friendly and his grandparents liked her a lot. She would make a far more acceptable “bride” than he could ever be.

“I don't want to rush you with this, but have you given it any thought?”

“Well...” He was so anxious to leave, but couldn't do it without seeming rude.

“Oh, I'm sorry, I am rushing you, aren't I? I understand that it could be a little awkward with you in my class and all. I will wait until you feel that you're ready, okay?”

Nodding and bowing at the same time, Yukihito quickly made his leave, thankful that no other students were around to hear that exchange. Her focus on him was becoming very obvious to the class. The boys (sans Miroku) teased him for having her as a girlfriend, while the girls glared daggers at her back and gossiped about how shameful for her, a woman nearing her 25th birthday, to pursue a student so young. While he was reaching the end of his patience, he almost felt sorry for her.

As he walked past the gates lost in thought, a familiar car stopped next to him.

“Hey, Yukihito, need a ride home?” Makoto called to him. A well covered Sawa waved from the passenger seat. Smiling broadly, his worries forgotten for now, Yukihito climbed into the back seat.

At the great news, he wanted to throw his arms around Sawa completely, but settled for squeezing his shoulders for now. “I knew you could do it.”

“I have you to thank, you know, for all of the encouragement and editing help.”

“What?” Makoto asked sharply. “Yukihito's read Go Jou?”

Thankfully the large shades hid Sawa's surprised and guilty expression. “Well, yes...”

“All of it?”

“Of course. He'd read all of my works. He's very good at picking out my mistakes.”

“Don't you think he's a bit young to be reading that? Go Jou is very, very explicit.”

Makoto believed that they were cousins, but even that cover story didn't prepare Sawa for this little slip-up.

“You know, Yukihito is a very sophisticated teenager, and he knows enough about the mechanics that when he asked to help me out with this venture, I had no problem letting him do it. We're very close.”

Yukihito nearly kicked the back of his seat for that last sentence. That wasn't necessary, and Makoto was smart enough to clue in with a hint that big.

With a shrug, she redirected her attention to the road. “I would keep that under my hat if I were you. Fans will allow talented personalties their eccentrics, but they tend to draw the line when minors are involved. So, don't let that get around, okay?”

Feeling far more chastised than Makoto would ever know, Sawa nodded in agreement.


***********


“I'm sorry, Suzuki-sensei, but he's not home right now. I'll let him know that you called. Goodbye.”

Yukihito hung up the phone and sighed. Times like this he was tempted to charge Sawa for secretary duties. He'd played phone tag to the point that he dreaded hearing it ring. There wasn't a cover story for Sawa's new profession, and now he was off on signing day tours all over Tokyo and the surrounding cities. Suzuki-sensei was convinced that Yukihito wasn't passing on her messages and his parent wondered out loud how a security guard job required so much travel all of a sudden.

It wasn't covering for Sawa that bothered Yukihito the most. He missed having Sawa around. Some days, Sawa would leave before he did and come home long after Yukihito was asleep. Sawa promised a nice night in once the blitz was over, though. It would be worth the wait.


********

Sawa had insisted that he only do one signing in the ni-chome area, and only at the Tomodachi. The line, mostly female as usual with a dash of friends from the neighborhood, stretched out the door.

Signings still thrilled Sawa to no end. Reading the numbers was one thing, but actually seeing the fans right in front him was something entirely different. It was also so nice to not be all covered up as he was used to doing whenever he was out of the neighborhood and in front of cameras. He had to also insist on no cameras. The thought of being on TV or having his picture taken terrified him.

“This was so wonderful, Sawa-san,” cooed one fan.

“My friend recommended it to me. She loves it,” gushed another.

“Look at you up here, “ Jian, who snuck away from the counter he was working to get his copy signed, said to him. “We all knew you'd go places.”

Sawa smiled at his coworker as he sashayed back to the counter with Toisho hot on his heels. A frightened gasp directed his attention to the next customer, and his mouth dropped open.

Ume Suzuki stood before him, one hand covering her mouth, the other clutching her copy of Go Jou.

They started at each other for several long seconds. Panic welled up inside of Sawa. He couldn't pretend to be someone else to throw her off. Before he could make his mouth move to form something like an explanation, she stepped backwards, turned and ran, bumping blindly into the other fans in line. The place fell silent.

“What's her problem?” Jian quipped before Toisho growled at him to shut up.


********


Two days later

Suzuki's discovery led Yukihito's complaints that the teacher was being unnecessary cold to him in class. He would get called on repeatedly and would have his school questions answered in a way that could barely be considered polite. The final straw was giving the boy detention for allegedly “smarting off” to her, an allegation Yukihito vehemently denied. Apparently he made the mistake of asking her to repeat a direction she gave the class. Instead of getting the principal involved in the matter, Sawa called Suzuki to set up a meeting and speak with her directly. Perhaps they could clear this up like adults.

At 5'o'clock Sawa arrived at the little cafe near the apartment. Suzuki was already sitting at a table in the far corner, looking so tense that she was nearly shaking. She looked up as she approached only briefly before going to back to wood grain of the table. Sawa could empathize; it would have looked most strange if he arrived to the local shop NOT dressed up.

“Suzuki-san,” he began, sitting in front of her, “I'm sorry that you had to find out about me the way you did. I never meant to mislead you. But your disappointment is not Yukihito's fault, and I'm asking you not to make it so. He doesn't deserve to be mistreated.”

“I can't believe you even care about his treatment,” she replied in a voice far harsher than her usual sweet cadence. “I've been thinking about Yukihito. You're right, it's not his fault.” She raised her head to glare at him with eyes brimming with tears. “It's not his fault that he lives with such a selfish person! No wonder he's so shy, he lives with such an awful secret. He could be so ashamed of you and you wouldn't know it. How dare you deprive him a normal family life?”

Suzuki's venom surprised Sawa, and her words cut him deeply. Those were words of someone who wanted to hurt him, but they had a grain of trust in the them. He was selfish for living the way he wanted and for having Yukihito hide it from everyone. He was selfish for loving the boy the way he did and denying him what Suzuki, and his parents for the matter, called a normal life.

His thoughts and her next verbal attack were interrupted by a pair of hands landing of his shoulders.

“Yukihito-san?” She squeaked. Sawa looked up and was surprised by the fury in Yukihito's normally gentle hazel eyes.

“Stop it,” he replied. “Leave him alone. You don't know what you're talking about. My life hasn't been normal since my mom died, and I like it this way. He's been here for me every step of the way. I know everything about him and I'm not ashamed. I love him. He's all the family I ever need. If you can't understand that, that's your problem, not ours.”

The woman looked from Yukihito to Sawa and back. She stood up quickly,muttering something that sounded like an apology before departing.

“You know, Yukihito, she might have gotten the right idea about us.”

“I don't care. I just didn't want to hear her talk to you like that.”

Sawa squeezed his hands, drawing them forward and briefly kissing them. “Thank you.”


*********


“Did you hear?” Yukari whispered to Mari behind Yukihito before class started the next day. “Suzuki-sensei is transferring to another school after the winter break.”

“Oh?” Mari replied. “That's so sudden. Do you know why?”

“I overheard some teachers talking, and they don't know why either.”

The students fell silent when their teacher entered the room. As Yukihito stood, he took a glance into his bag to make sure he didn't leave the package Sawa instructed him to deliver.

One signed copy of Go Jou. A peace offering from the both of them. A hope for no hard feelings.

When he gave it to her at the end of the day, she slipped it into her bag with out looking at it.

“I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone why I'm transferring. I know you won't say a word.”

Yukihito knew better. That would reveal Sawa's secret, and he wouldn't dare. He truly felt sorry for the woman now. Having Sawa's love was one of the most wonderful things in his world, and she would never experience it.


Author's Notes:Coming up, Christmas rolls around and our guys take a vacation together! I assure you, the year-long wait will be tested once again! See you then!


“What's her problem?”