Bobbing for Apples

Light spun around. Painfully so, the quickness of it made him lose his balance and he fell to the ground on his side, looking up frightened at the man in the doorway. Who is supposed to be dead. He didn't know what he was expecting in that short moment of not seeing L but it wasn't this. L was staring at him, hands in his pockets (he was dressed now), his posture horrible and overall the same as always. He was L, that was for sure. He didn't look sad or angry though Light knew he was somehow. Yet, he looked not like the man he'd been stuck in this house with. He looked like... Like the L that had introduced himself to me with a simple 'I am L'. I didn't even realize that he had changed at all but now here he is. The detective had never been overly emotional but yet now Light realized he had dug himself deeper into L than he knew. Now, of course, that it was too late. A cold cement wall had been built between them and Light was aware that everything he did had broken any bond they could have had. He felt his heart shatter, which was strange because he had been fairly sure his heart had died hours ago. Yet his mind kept going, despite his pain. And all it could think was--

"How?" He demanded, beside himself. Then he glared down at his notebook. "It's a fake... You lied to me! You said you wanted me to give it away at my own convenience, through my own will! You lied to me!" He began to crawl off his side and was on his knees before L cut him off.

"Yagami Light, you just tried to murder me and you're angry because you believe I stole something from you and then covered it up with a lie? Your priorities are proof that you are not mentally well. However, no, that is the your Notebook. Correct, Ryuk?" The shinigami nodded, eager to watch more with his round eyes. "As immature as I am, we both are, I would not reduce myself to such a simple trick. Anyways, I trusted you not to kill anyone. Including me. However, trust is easy to give away when you are invincible." Light watched as L handed Ryuk the Death Note that had been in his back pocket. "Please explain, shinigami." A moment passed with Ryuk looking at him curiously, not liking being ordered.
"There will be another shipment of apples today."

Ryuk's eyes lit up and he flipped through the pages joyously. "Ohohoho! I do not remember explaining this to Light. Very clever." Light glared at his shinigami, half because he forgot to tell him something and half because he didn't like being kept out of the loop in such a fashion. Ryuk turned the Death Note towards Light. There were names written in it. He finally climbed to his feet and walked to the hovering creature and the book in his hand.

Elle Lowlight
El Lawleet
Ewl Louwelyt
L Lawliot

"So, it's just his name written down wrong--"

"Four times. If a name is spelt incorrectly four times on accident, that person is immune to the Death Note. Hyukhyuk! How did you get this done, L?" The blue man turned to gaze at L and Light could only do the same in anticipation.

"Rem told me of it, I did it once I left Japan so don't take it as a personal attack. I did not do it under our most recent of experiences. I just figured that Kira would go out of his way to still try to kill me, despite my hopes that he would think that I am retiring from the case and mean him no harm. I, of course, knew how to spell my name so I found a criminal on Death Row to do it for me, an illiterate one at that. Once he died, the Note would be mine once more. I stood on the other side of the room, not wanting to watch over his shoulder in fear. He did them two minutes apart from eachother. That last one, now that I look at it, was a horribly close shave." Silence broke between them and Light was shocked and shaky from the night of complete emotions and lack of sleep. He definately wasn't tired, however. The silence lasted a long time pounding painfully into their ears. A sigh finally broke the silence as L held a hand out and the Death Note was returned to it. Opening it, he pulled a pen out of his pocket. Putting the tip to the note of a different page, he spoke, not looking up from the paper." I told you, Kira, that if you attempted at my life, I would kill you." Light couldn't breathe. His mind was racing. He partially wanted to jump out and attack L, another part wanted to beg for forgiveness, for his life, to say that no harm, no foul - right?

I'm a god, gods can't die. A step towards L, unsure of his own intentions. He reasoned it was probably in order to grab the pen or book. But I can die... It's L who didn't die... I can die. He stopped, debating with himself. L's writing was painfully slow. I can die... Suddenly those tears that had not made it to his cheeks throughout the night ran off his chin. He was unable to speak, to beg for it to stop. I'm not a god! He thrust at L as L stopped writing, looking up from the paper. Their faces met and Light wrapped his arms around L's neck. He kissed the closed mouth delicately, lips wet with those tears that had chosen this time to flow. Time passed, no reaction from L. Time passed, and Light began to think that your last minute alive is the longest. Time passed and L finally spoke under Light's lips. "Yagami Light, are you quite finished?" Light jumped, stepping back in reaction. That barrier was still there and Light really knew that there was no forgiveness in L in his dying moments. However, he realized this had to be a lot longer than 40 seconds.

L, now free of the tearful genius, ripped the page out of the Death Note, holding it face down for Light to take. Shaking from confusion, shock, and humiliation Light grabbed it. Stiffly, L turned and walked out of the room. Light flipped over the page and his heart jumped into his throat as he read it, partially from joy and part of it in agony. The first four lines were in a different handwriting than the following script under it.

Yagumi Lite
Yagammy Lytte
Yagamie Lyte
Yagamee Light
Yagami Light

You're welcome, Kira.

The tears had stopped running but his face was still wet. He felt himself sobbing again, more like a wretch. He felt like he was going to throw up but realized he hadn't eaten anything in quite awhile. He felt disgusting, horrible. Humiliated in front of L by his pathetic kiss, helpless in his cage, now without anyone to talk to, proven to be Kira, guilt ridden by trying to kill he who had taken mercy on himself, and worst of all - left with the realization that he is not a god. But I am unable to die by the Death Note now, so I am... No, wrong... If L so chose, I could be put on death row. He was going to be honest with himself now, try not to be deluded. Now he held his Notebook close but with no power at all. Yet he couldn't give it up, just in case one day he could return on track.

--

Days passed and Light found himself trapped in solitude. He vaguely wondered if his vocal abilities had died but couldn't bring himself to do something like talk to himself. Talking to Ryuk proved impossible when he had nothing interesting to say. He rarely saw L and they never made eye contact when they did cross paths. Light began leaving his Notebook in places when roaming around - half hoping that L would take an oppurtunity to take it from him and thus magically make everything alright without him having to admit his wrongdoing. No such luck. He could be found roaming the halls, sighing angstily.

Half the time he wanted to sit in the camera room, original use being to have himself watched, and turn it around and watched L - at least as something to do. He did not do that. Sometimes Light wanted to walk up and just physically hit L. He didn't do that either. Some of the time he spent there he thought about escaping, however he made no attempt either. Most of the time, he wished most of the things he wanted to do didn't have something to do one way or another with his captor. However, that was a big TOO FUCKING BAD.

A week went by and it seemed years, so those three months of complete isolation dragged on as if it were decades. Light wished he could go outside, wished he could talk to people, and had a long time ago decided he was no longer god status. Ryuk seemed, though perhaps a little bored, content with the fact that he was getting daily supplies of apples. REM had apparantly checked up every once in awhile but usually stayed with Misa - not trusting Light until he handed over the notebook.

Light had never been one to contain his feelings very well when he was alone, especially his frustration. When Ryuk had became a daily part of his life, for instance, he no longer pretended around him. Since Light felt very much as if he were in the middle of nowhere with nobody for company, his frustration eventually topped. He exploded...

Barging into the kitchen, where L seemed to be making some concoction of overly sweet grossness, Light stood on the other side of the island and pounded his hands onto the granite and didn't even wince in pain. "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"

Much to Kira's frustration, L didn't even flinch. He topped that thing with a cherry and slowly tasted a bite. He didn't even look at the younger man. Light was pissed. However, eventually he did respond without looking up from his treat. "That would be something I should say when you barge in."

Feeling as if his bloodvessels were about to burst, Kira glared at him. "Then do let me rephrase, L. What do you want me to do?" He said slowly, coldly, desperately.

As if he were considering it for a moment, L sucked on a spoon. "I suppose that depends on what you want the end result to be."

Light's head as if on it's own accord bowed and he looked down at the countertop. He mumbled. "I want to be able to go outside... To talk to people..."

"Then all I need is Kira's notebook." L was making his way out the other side of the kitchen when he heard Light continue.

"To have you forgive me..."

He stopped and looked over his shoulder to Light, who's head shot up after seeing that movement in his perifereal vision. All the raven haired man could really manage to respond with, not really sure the details himself, was "That, I'm afraid, is going to take more than a book of supernatural paper." He began to turn again before he felt Light next to him, touching him only slightly with their shoulders. He held out the notebook.

"Take it. I don't want to hear anything about it ever again. I'm keeping a sheet, though, in my wallet. Only half an inch long. Where my name was written, actually... I don't want to forget but it's doubtful I'll be able to use it ever again." He wasn't looking at L as the detective took the notebook slowly.

"Thank you, Yagami." L said indifferently and began again but he felt a soft grasp on his shirt sleeve, he reluctantly turned again.

"I know I'm probably bothering you but I really just want you to know that I'm sorry. I don't expect forgiveness from you because I don't even forgive myself. You once asked me if I'd feel guilty if I killed you. I feel more guilty than I have ever felt about anything now and yet I'm happy you lived. You don't deserve to die. Honestly, I wasn't even killing you for Kira's purpose. That makes me horrible."

L still hadn't looked at him straight in the eye so he turned and didn't stop, not even when L asked "Then why did Light wish for my death?" He kept walking, free now,

"Because I fell for you." He didn't even look back as he went outside the door, so it shocked him when he opened the front door to find L standing there. "Get out of my way, L."

"I don't forgive Kira."

"Then move."

"I will never let you live it down."

"Please, L, get out of my way."

"I won't beg you to stay."

"I guess you won't have to if you pretend to be a really talkative roadblock."

"I'm only going to say this once."

"Then say it so I can go."

"I love you."

A soft kiss on Light's cheek made him freeze and totally forget about leaving. But then it was gone, L had passed by him into the house and disappeared into the darkness. Light hesitantly looked outside, it was broad daylight outside, flowers dancing cheerily in the garden. Sighing, Light closed the door, still on the inside. He watched darkness engulf him again. "I'm going to kill him." He said but he wasn't wearing an insane smile he was with a true smile as he walked down the hall to find L.

--

Fufa's Notes:

Okay, sooooo sorry for leaving you guys in the dust like that. :c I really didn't mean to! It's just... I work long days, six days a week, and am out of town the rest of the time!! Furthermore, I fell down those goddamned stairs at work again yesterday. Don't worry, I bounced! I'm fine! It's just... I'm trying to find a new job now because my body is starting to rebel against my clumsiness.

Lemon next chapter, I swear!