There and Back Again

May 1, 2026

L hadn’t moved. He couldn’t. He felt as though his entire being were encased in stone. He wondered if this was what a statue felt like.

“L?” the stranger with another’s face asked. He appeared to be worried. Why would a stranger be worried about me? L thought.

“L, say something, please.”

L felt his muscles relaxing and he blinked slowly.

“I’m hallucinating. I’ve finally gone utterly and completely mad.”

“If you had, you wouldn’t say you were. You wouldn’t think you were. I’m not a hallucination. See?” he grasped L’s hand and placed it against his cheek. “Real.”

L’s fingers curled reflexively around the few stray hairs he touched. It felt the same. He raised his eyes up to that familiar face. Lips, cheeks, nose, all the same. His eyes were-

“You’re eyes. They’re-”

“Different. I know. It took me awhile to get used to them as well.”

L placed his other hand on the other cheek, pulling the other to him, foreheads touching.

“How? How is this possible? You’re dead. You’re not supposed to come back from death.”

“I don’t really know myself,” the new Light said. “I don’t remember much of the time I was dead. I remember being with you and promising to come back. I remember being told by something that I was getting a second chance. I never forgot you. I never forgot who I was or what I was. I remember my life before. I knew I had to find you and since I was born once more, I’ve spent my life waiting to return to you.”

Light pulled away slightly and L lifted his face to search those strange new eyes. Light seemed to sense the question in L’s gaze.

“I promise, I’ll tell you whatever I can, but now, please L, just kiss me.”

L’s eyes moved to those rosy lips, leaned toward them and paused. He hadn’t kissed anyone intimately in years. What if this really wasn’t him? What if he’d forgotten how? What if he wasn’t good anymore? What if it really wasn’t him?

“I swear L. I swear it’s really me.” He sounded almost desperate. The tone, the timbre, the inflection, it was all the same. He remembered other moments of desperation.

“The 13 day rule is false.”

“I’m Kira.”

“I love you”

“I hear the bells too.”

L grabbed the front of Light’s shirt, pulling him roughly forward. Lips met and crashed together, tongues stroking tongues, stroking teeth. They were drowning in each others’ touch, each others’ scent. L registered wetness on his cheek. How was it that Light could cry, but he could not? He wanted to. He felt he almost could, but what he felt seemed to be beyond tears. He was so overwhelmed by how familiar it all was. The taste, the texture, nothing had changed.

When they broke away, breathing heavily, Light buried his head against L’s chest. L held him, stroking the back of his neck, kissing his hair.

“It is you. It is you.” These three words became a whispered chant, uttered between soft kisses.

“I told you,” Light whispered back.

Nothing, L thought, could make this moment any less perfect, any less hap-

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

L sighed. He’d obviously thought too soon. Light had jumped, eyes wide.

“What in the world was that?”

L smiled. “A lot has changed since you’ve been gone.”

**

L looked down at two very scruffy, repentant appearing girls. It was patently obvious to L though, that one of those little girls wasn’t the least bit remorseful. He watched Veritas struggling to suppress a decidedly evil grin while she traced the pattern of the hardwood floor in the main hall.

“What exactly were you two thinking?”

“I was bored. The bugs were boring and Rain said she’d play with me. Playing barbershop was all her idea,” Veritas shouted.

“Nu-Uh! It was hers! She didn’t want to brush her hair anymore!”

“Liar!”

“Was so!”

“That’s enough!” L shouted. The girls instantly quieted. “You,” he pointed to Veritas, “are to wait in my room so I can fix that hack job. And you,” this was directed to Rain, “will go to your room and I’ll send Miss Alta.”

Rain’s face paled. “No, not Miss Alta.”

“Yes, Miss Alta.”

Veritas smirked.

“Don’t think you’re not going to have to deal with her as well.”

Veritas’s face fell and she stomped her way upstairs.

L shook his head slowly and looked at the long braid of hair he held in his hand. Rain had chopped off most of Veritas’s hair. Rain had fared much better with only a shoulder length cut.

Those two were pure trouble together.

“Her mother is not going to be happy,” L muttered

“Her mother? Which ones mother? I thought there were only orphans that lived here.”

“We have made exceptions here and there. But, yes, Veritas’s mother. Alta.”

“Alta? She had another child?” Light was quiet a moment. “Now that I think about it, she does look like her.”

“Yes, but she has her father’s eyes,” L said with a crooked smile. He looked at Light and watched as realization dawned. He knew this was not the proper way to let him know, but even after all these years, he still was finding it satisfying to mess with the boy.

“Her father’s . . . that little troublemaker is yours?”

“Very much so.”

“With Alta? You and Alta? You?” Light felt his knees shake and he slid slowly down the wall. “I don’t feel well.”

His position on the floor brought something else to his attention. A thick silver band around one of the fingers of L’s left hand. He looked back up to L.

“And you’re married? A baby and a . . . I can’t breathe.”

All this time, all this talk of second chances, all the waiting, it had been for nothing. He’d somehow lost his chance and L had moved on.

“Light,” L said softly as he crouched next to the distraught man. It sent a small thrill through his soul to be able to say the name once again to the actual person it belonged to. “I’m not married. Yes, I had a child with Alta, but not in the conventional way. It was more of a favor she did for me. She was, and is still, only a friend. We just happen to have raised two children with each other’s assistance.”

“But, the ring,” Light said.

L pulled the band from his finger and placed it in Light’s palm. Light examined the simple silver band, most likely made of platinum. The only decoration on it was a small jet colored kanji symbol. Moon.

“Oh,” Light breathed.

“I had one for you. I’d meant to give it to you before you, well, before.”

Light nodded and returned the ring to L.

“I wish I had given it to you,” L said.

“You did give it to me though, didn’t you? After I was gone?”

“Yes, but I should have . . . It wasn’t the same.”

“It had an L on it, didn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“That would explain this.” Light held up his left hand, knuckles forward. There, below the second joint on his ring finger was a small birthmark, a gothic type L.

L grasped Light’s hand and ran his fingers over the letter. “I’m happy you received this.”

“I am too,” Light sighed. “I’m so embarrassed. I jumped to the wrong conclusion. I don’t do that very often.”

“Modest and humble as always, Light.”

**

Nothing but the sound of scissors and the occasional sniffle could be heard in the room. Light had been a bit surprised at the girl’s level of remorse. He was surprised because Veritas didn’t act as though she was sorry at all. She was definitely sorry she was caught. She was not sorry she had butchered her hair and her friend’s. She honestly didn’t seem to care if the other girl was punished because of her own scheme. She certainly didn’t care about the state of her appearance. Must be genetic, Light thought.

She started to cave once L began taking away the things she loved. Books, wagons, various toys and games, all taken away. As far as Light could tell, she’d been grounded for, well, forever, and on top of that she still had her mother to contend with. After having been told her mother was still going to be informed, the tears and begging and pleas for forgiveness had started. L had remained firm in his decision.

“Can’t you do anything?” she asked, looking hopefully at Light.

“I’m afraid not. I’m still pretty new here.”

“Then what good are you?”

“Veritas, that isn’t polite,” L said mid-snip.

“I don’t care. I don’t want to be polite. It’s stupid.”

L couldn’t help but silently agree. He sat the scissors down and brushed away the stray hairs still clinging to her face and neck. Light tried to stifle a small chuckle. Veritas narrowed her eyes and scowled at the stranger.

“What?” L asked.

“You both have the same haircut only hers is shorter.”

Veritas’s scowl burst into a grin.

“Really?” she asked.

“Really.”

“You need to go and wait in your room now,” L said.

She frowned once more before another grin replaced it.

“I am the great L and I shall face the enemy without fear!” she shouted as she darted from the room.

“Don’t call your mother the enemy,” L called after her.

“She must be quite a handful,” Light said with a smirk as he watched L close the door.

“That she is. Also exhausting.”

L turned his back to the door and leaned against it for a moment. He held Light in his unblinking gaze. L watching Light, Light watching L, neither moving, both aching to do so.

L nodded once, almost imperceptivity, as if coming to a decision about something, and swiftly crossed the space between them. He held Light, so tightly he feared the other couldn’t breathe, but Light made no protests. He only held him in kind.

“What do we do now?” Light whispered. L pulled away to look once more at the others’ face

“I don’t know,” L said. “You’re strange and familiar and I just don’t know. I don’t even know if we could, if we should.” L brought his hand to Light’s face, tracing the angle of his jaw. “You’re still beautiful and young,” he whispered. “And I’m still not.”

“You are,” Light said. “You always have been.” He placed his hand over L’s and softly kissed the delicate fingertips. “Just let me stay. Even if this is the last time you’ll ever touch me for the rest of my life, don’t make me leave. Let me be here, with you.”

L wasn’t sure if it was the pleading tone of Light’s voice, or the gentle kisses that followed, but he was sure of one thing. Nothing, nothing, was going to separate him from Light, in any form.

May 2, 2026

The night had been illuminating. L had learned many things about Light and, oddly enough himself. He’d been concerned about, among other things, the age difference now between them. He was, after all, pushing fifty, while Light was still twenty. After making Light scream his name and beg for more, harder, faster, their ages didn’t seem to matter so much anymore.

Later, basking in the afterglow, Light had told L a little about his life. This time around, Light had been born the illegitimate song of an American or European businessman. His mother wasn’t really sure, and at the time of her whirlwind illicit romance, hadn’t bothered asking her lover’s nationality.

“But, he must be why my eyes are like this,” Light had said.

“I can honestly say I’ve never seen this particular color combination in my life,” L had replied. “It’s a bit unnerving.”

“It took me awhile to get used to it too. My memories are of brown eyes staring back at me from a mirror, not blue and green. I thought at first they may have been due to a shinigami having some sort of fun or maybe because I had been Kira. But, now, I’m pretty sure it’s just something I inherited genetically from my new father.”

L had also been surprised to learn Light was still associated with his former family.

“I’m sort of related to myself,” he’d said with a laugh.

Sachiko had a younger sister who’d had a daughter close in age with Light, one Noriko. Twenty years ago, Noriko had become pregnant and was turned out of the house. Since then, she had worked and supported herself and young son on her own.

“She’s taken me to visit them, you know. My other family. My moth- Sachiko . . . she cried when she first saw me. I think Soichiro did too, but he left the room, so I can’t be sure. He’s not very happy with me at the moment though.”

“Why is that?”

Light smiled slightly. “He didn’t want me to come to England. It almost seemed as though he knew you were here.”

“He does.”

“Where is my son buried?”

“In England.”

“Why England?”

“It is where I reside. I couldn’t send him away, back to Japan. I needed him to remain close to me.”

“He should have been sent home.”

“It wasn’t your decision to make. You forfeited that right when you turned your back on him.”

But now, a new day was dawning. L watched the sky slip from blues and purples into reds, orange, and gold. L hated to think in clichéd terms, but it really did feel like the first day of the rest of his life. L watched as Light slowly opened his eyes and blinked the sleep away. Light’s soft smile made L smile in return.

“Good morning, Light.”

Light sat up slowly and gently kissed L’s lips.

“Do you still not sleep?” he whispered.

“I sleep more than I used to, but I still suffer from insomnia.”

“I doubt you suffer from it,” Light said smiling.

Dawn creeping in, shafts of sunlight dotting the room, a soft bed, a warm lover, it was almost too idyllic. L knew idyllic, L, and Light were three words that didn’t belong together in a sentence, so he was determined to enjoy it. Besides, it was nearly five-thirty, almost time for what L affectionately referred to as “The Wammy House Alarm Clock.”

For now though, he was simply enjoying the kisses.

“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

The sound echoed through the halls of the building and made Light jump.

“Are you serious?” he asked, wide-eyed.

“I’m afraid so.”

The sound continued.

“My God. Doesn’t she breathe?”

The years passed by, as years so often do. Many were spent happily, some were not.

Alta remained at Wammy House for many years, teaching and frightening genius children in equal parts and watching her own children grow.

Ever continued on as L for many years. He had the distinction of holding the title for the longest amount of time, until one day, betrayed by a lover; he met the same fate of so many Ls before him.

Veritas, thanks to the influence of Light, eventually stopped her morning scream fest. She hadn’t taken to Light initially, but within a year of meeting him, began calling him ‘Papa Light’. Light had suggested the Japanese equivalent of father instead, but she had deemed it a stupid word and refused to call him anything else. And, while her stubbornness always remained, her mischief making did ease up. Over the years, she realized how lucky she was to have a mother, two fathers, and a brother while surrounded by other children who had no one.

Twenty-five years after Light came back to him, L knew it was his turn to say goodbye. He’d felt off for quite some while and a chance encounter with Ever had cemented his hunch into a reality.

“How long, Ever?”

“I don’t . . .”

“Don’t feed me that crap about how you don’t like telling. How long? I don’t want to be taken by surprise. Give me time for my goodbyes.”

So, Ever told him. L thought surely he must be mistaken, it couldn’t possibly be as soon as all that. But, the next morning when he couldn’t even summon the strength to leave the bed, he knew Ever had been right.

Light never left his side. When L suggested Light leave and go about his day, Light refused.

“Why not? There must be a million other things you should be doing.”

“Let’s just say it’s a favor I owe you.”

L smiled slightly and brushed his fingers through soft brown hair.

“My enemy, my friend, my suspect, my lover, my other self,” he whispered while gently kissing Light’s face. “My Light.”

L, once the top three detectives in the world, father of one, foster father to many, quirky genius, Kira’s antagonist and lover, and Justice personified, slipped away into eternity while being held in the arms of the one man who truly loved and understood him.

Epilouge

A grotesque shinigami munched on a sandy apple while peering into the portal to the human realm with another.

“Was it worth it, then?”

“Yes, Ryuk, it was.”

“You realize most of us up here would give our right eye to be able to live once more. Well, those of us with eyes anyway. It would be more interesting than this.”

“I find being a shinigami rather interesting, Ryuk.”

“Maybe so, but still . . . you gave up your only chance to Light. Not that it matters to me or anything. Plus, Light is an interesting human. He would have made an excellent shinigami.”

“I’m sure he would have.” The shinigami sighed. “Being dead changed things for me. Besides, L needed him more than ever or Alta could have ever needed me. If I had gone back again all I would have done was cause harm. While harming L is still something I rather don’t care about, harm to my son would have been inexcusable.”

“How noble of you, Beyond.”

Beyond pulled his gaze from the portal to give Ryuk a toothy grin.

“I’ve never been noble before.”

“You’re a strange one, you are.”

“So I’ve been told.” He looked once again to the portal. “This was how it should have been and I regret . . . almost nothing.”

A/N: Well, that’s all she wrote. I hope this last chapter didn’t feel like filler or was boring and unsatisfying. And thank you to everyone who read this. Don’t you feel special? You should. You just finished reading the first thing I’ve ever finished writing in about ten years XD. Yay! Thank you so very very much :3 Also, thank you to shido burrito for beta-ing the first part of this chapter. (sorry I got impatient and didn't send you the rest. I suck like that XD)