Trust

Trust
A Code Geass fan fiction story
Written by Archangel

Chapter 12 – Goodbye

{Author’s Note: This chapter takes place during episode 2.22. It is dedicated to Platinumsabr. The music suggestion is “I Am The Warrior” by Pat Benatar. Further notes at the end. Enjoy, and please provide feedback! RATE and/or REVIEW, please!}

“Ah, Lord Jeremiah,” the Emperor said cordially. “Come in.”

Jeremiah Gottwald entered and knelt smoothly. “You summoned me, Your Majesty?”

“Yes. A question, actually: did you ever give that audio chip to Kallen?”

“Uh, no, My Lord. You said to be as discreet as possible, and the opportunity hadn’t yet presented itself when you… re-emerged.”

“It’s quite alright,” the Emperor replied. “May I have the chip back?”

“Certainly, Your Majesty.” Jeremiah dug the carefully cushioned chip out of his tunic and handed it over.

“Thank you. That’s all for now.” When Jeremiah had gone, the Emperor turned to the Knight of Zero, who was standing beside the throne. “I have a request.”

“Yes, Lelouch?”

“When we execute the plan… you will probably end up fighting Kallen.” A long pause. “Suzaku… she mustn’t die.”

“…Why?”

“I… please, if at all possible, keep her alive. Will you promise me?”

“I won’t risk the Zero Requiem, Lelouch.”

“I’m not asking you to. Aside from that, though.”

A solemn nod. “Alright. I promise that I will do my best to spare Kallen’s life.”

“Thank you… my friend.”

*****

The main entry hall. Even though she’d always hated the place, being back at Ashford Academy was triggering a rush of memories for Kallen as she escorted Lelouch into the complex. She’d made sure that nobody was stationed in this room. It had doubtless drawn suspicions, but she knew that she needed alone time with Lelouch. Even if it was only a moment. As they neared the central landing, Kallen turned to see Lelouch slipping a small silver object into his hip pocket. “What’s that?” she asked suspiciously.

“Harmonic jammer,” Lelouch replied shortly as he reached the landing. “Disables cameras and microphones. Can we talk for a minute?”

Kallen nodded slowly. “Yes. Lelouch… I need an answer: what do I really mean to you?”

Lelouch dropped his chin and closed his eyes. Kallen waited for nearly half a minute, but he did not reply.

“Fine then,” she told him, turning to walk away.

“Wait. Please.”

Kallen turned back slowly, eyes narrowed. “Not unless you answer me.”

“I’m… trying. I—” Lelouch abruptly shook his head and made a frustrated sound. “You mean everything to me,” he told her simply.

Kallen stepped forward and took his hands. “Then give up your Geass and your throne. Stop this madness and come away from it all. With me.”

Lelouch shook his head fractionally even as he gave her hands a gentle squeeze. “It’s not that simple, Kallen. Besides, where could we go?”

“Anywhere we want! I’m sick of all of this, Lelouch! I’m sick of politics, sick of FLEIJAs, sick of fighting. I don’t want to kill and destroy anymore,” Kallen told him fervently. “Let’s just disappear, the two of us. Right now. Let’s go find some little town somewhere, get married, and raise a family. Please!” She stepped forward, brushing her nose against his cheek and inhaling his familiar scent.

“I can’t do that, Kallen,” Lelouch told her gently, turning his head and kissing her temple. “Not yet, anyway. What I’ve set in motion… I have to see it through to the end. I’m sorry, Shin-gan.”

She pulled her hands from his. “Then I don’t love you anymore,” she told him in a barely controlled whisper, “and I won’t come over to your side, Lelouch. Listen to me—your Geass, all these things you’re doing with it—they’re *evil*!” Kallen burst out, her voice rising to a shout. “Turning an entire army of innocent people into your personal slaves? Mass slaughter? Don’t think that I don’t know what your reign is really all about, *Emperor* Lelouch!”

The Emperor recoiled as if slapped. “Kallen…” he began, “what Suzaku and I are working for—”

“I don’t give a Goddamn!” Kallen snapped. “That *power* of yours is turning you into a monster! Who cares what your end is, when you’re doing all these horrid things to get there? The Lelouch I fell in love with didn’t mind-wipe people into following him. He led by example, by inspiration, by helping people find the strength hidden within their hearts! He worked miracles with only his mind and the spirit of his followers! I can only see faint traces of him remaining in you, *Emperor*. If you keep using this power, it won’t be long until he’s gone completely.” She paused, her blue eyes burning into his. “And I can’t love a monster.”

Lelouch nodded very slowly. “So be it,” he replied calmly before moving past Kallen to continue up the stairs.

In that moment, one part of Kallen wanted to just let him go. Another part of her wanted to hit him over the head and drag him to the car she’d stashed down in the substructure. Kallen discarded both ideas, but she knew she had to tell him. He deserved that much at least, and it might just bring him back to his senses. “Lelouch, wait. There’s something you need to know.”

“What is it?” he asked neutrally, turning those brilliant violet eyes back to her.

Kallen suddenly understood why Lelouch had hesitated earlier. She knew she should just go ahead and say it, but the words just didn’t want to come. “Lelouch, I—I’m pregnant,” she burst out at last.

Lelouch’s eyes went very wide indeed. His mouth flapped a few times, but no sound emerged.

Kallen took his hands in hers again. “I’m carrying our daughter, Lelouch,” she whispered. “Right in here.” Kallen guided Lelouch’s hands down to rest on her stomach, which was just barely beginning to show. Lelouch’s eyes closed and his hands pressed gently against her tummy, trying to feel something, anything. “She’s not moving yet,” Kallen whispered, running her hands up Lelouch’s arms.

“Our baby?” Lelouch breathed, apparently still in shock.

“Our baby,” Kallen confirmed with a smile. “Lelouch, please… come away with me. I don’t want to raise her in this madness. And she needs to have a father.” She paused. “We can leave right now, disappear. I’ve made arrangements.”

Lelouch looked up, gazing deeply into Kallen’s lovely eyes. His sudden, boyish grin warmed Kallen from head to toes. “I could settle down, be a father,” he mused aloud. The sheer wonder in his tone eclipsed even what Kallen had seen in his eyes when they’d made love. She began to truly hope.

Then Lelouch went very quiet and gently pulled away from her. He turned and walked to the edge of the landing, his eyes shut tightly. Kallen could practically hear the thoughts whirling inside his mind. After what seemed an eternity, he turned back, his face set. “I can’t,” he said simply.

“What about your duty to your child?” Kallen shot back, her temper flashing white-hot.

“Billions of lives balanced against one,” Lelouch responded coldly. “It hurts, believe me, but my choice is clear. I have a duty to see this through… and it takes precedence.”

I’m not… I’m not going to cry! Not in front of him, anyway, Kallen told herself firmly, exerting all her willpower to hold back her tears. “Then the man I love is dead after all,” she whispered bitterly.

“So it seems,” Lelouch replied evenly.

“Now what?” Kallen growled quietly. “Is this the part where you Geass me and turn me into your good little knight?” She pulled an onyx chess piece from her pocket and held it out to him accusingly. “Go ahead, what are you waiting for, *Emperor*?”

Lelouch shook his head. “I’d rather have you as my mortal enemy than turn you into a slave, Kallen.”

Kallen blinked, then stepped forward and handed Lelouch the chess piece. A black knight. It felt like a lifetime since he’d given it to her. Before they’d all left Japan. When everything had been simpler. A bit of the base and one of its ears had been chipped off somewhere in all the battles, Kallen realized. “Keep it,” she whispered. “A reminder that the offer will always be open.”

“If I give up my Geass and abdicate,” Lelouch replied evenly.

“Yes.”

“Take good care of her,” Lelouch said at last, brushing his hand over Kallen’s stomach once more.

“I will.”

The emperor and his former knight stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment. Then they wrapped their arms around each other and kissed. It was a gentle, melancholy kiss. They both knew that it was goodbye. And at this moment, as at so many others, it was their silence that said the most.

“This way please, Emperor,” Kallen said calmly when they parted. “The UFN Council is expecting you.”

{More Author’s Note: If you are upset that Lelouch didn’t accept Kallen’s offer… I can only counsel patience.

Why did I go to the trouble of writing that long goodbye speech last chapter if Kallen never gets to hear it, you ask? Because I felt like writing it. Duh.

If the bit about the chess piece confuses you, please review Ch07 of this story.

See you next chapter! Some Angel time, same Angel channel!}