The Bad Adult Anime Fanfic

Part B: Class Dissed! - Erm, Dismissed!

In the next class, Marty Stu and the others sat down and waited for Tenten to show back up.

"Man this is boring. I wish there were some hot babes around here to bang." Marty Stu wangsted.

"Hang on here! Have I suddenly become chopped liver or something!?" Sakura asked in anger.

"Well, you're hot, but I want me more than one babe." Marty Stu said. As if on cue, Hinata came in, sporting the school's cheerleading outfit. This consisted of a tiny bikini top that barely covered her nipples and microskirt that caused her to flash her panties a lot.

"Hi there! Hinata here. There must be a Marty Stu here because I've suddenly turned into slutty! Hinata for no good reason." She said. She then proceeded to sit in Marty Stu's lap, straddling him.

"Well, aren't you cute?" Hinata said.

"What the hell!? Hinata, you are NOT slutty like that!!" Sakura said. "And keep your grubby meathooks off of *MY* man!" The second line was one she said strictly because Marty Stu was Marty Stu. (1)

"Hey, if I want you both, you're going to share me." Marty Stu said.

"Goddamn motherfucking crapfics." Sakura said under her breath. "Jeez, this guy sure is a pig."

"Yea, but he's Marty Stu, so we *have * to like him." Hinata replied. "Mind you, in canon, I'd kick his ass for making me this slutty."

"I want to kick his ass too." Sakura said. "But since he's Marty Stu, we have to love him."

"Oh, come on girls, there's plenty of me to go around." Marty Stu said.

"Goddamn crapfics." Sakura said.

"Would you rather be taking it in the ass from me?" Naruto asked.

"FUCK NO!" Sakura replied. "I want out of this crapfic. I hate being uberbitch! Sakura."

"That makes it all the more better when I fuck your brains out." Marty Stu said. "All the guys love the tsundere girl." (2)

"Okay, that's enough of that. Now let's get back to the subject here." Tenten said.

"Damnit, I want to get laid by two bishonen guys!" Mary Sue said.

"Well, I'll be more than happy to do anything you want because I'm dreamboat! Sasuke." Sasuke said.

"*Sigh*... It sucks never getting any respect." Tenten said. "Well, Ms. Fure, let's see your analysis of the fifty-ninth rule of a ninja."

"Just call me Mary Sue." Mary Sue replied with brattiness. She stood up and walked sexily to the front.

"Tenet number fifty-seven says: 'A ninja knows he must crawl before he can walk.' You know, that wording is so damn sexist. What about us women too!?" Mary Sue said. "We got to do the same thing - well, except for me, of course."

"You tell 'em, girlfriend!" Hinata and Sakura said at the same time. Hinata added "She's so cool."

Sakura's inner voice took over. "God she makes me want to puke! Why the hell do I like her?" It said. "Because she's Mary Sue." was the response.

"Anyway, it's just a rewording of Maslow's stages of competency. It starts with being unconsciously incompetent to being unconsciously competent." Mary Sue said. (3)

"What good is that to us? We're the generation without patience." Naruto said.

"You're the one that has no patience." Marty Stu said. "Learning a little might get you a hot babe like Hinata here."

"Ooh, he likes me!" Hinata replied. She shook her tits in front of Marty Stu's face.

"I like all babes that are willing to fuck." Marty Stu replied.

"Getting back to the subject..." Tenten interjected.

"Ah, who cares about the subject? I want some hard cocks!" Mary Sue said.

"Sorry, but it's the end of this section. You'll get some next chapter." Tenten said.

"Goddamned motherfucking crapfics." Mary Sue said.

The bell rang and school let out. Mary Sue grabbed Naruto and Sasuke by their hands and led them away.

"Okay, I've had enough of this shit of not getting laid. You two are coming with me." Mary Sue said. She then led them next to a box of quicksand in the ground.

"So you want sex with both of us?" Naruto asked.

"That's right, I want both of you at the same time." Mary Sue said, showing off her brattiness.

"Of course, Mary Sue. I'll do anything you want since I'm dreamboat! Sasuke." Sasuke replied.

"I have to share you with my rival? I don't want to do that." Naruto replied.

"Hey pal, I am Mary Sue and I *ALWAYS* get what *I* want!!" Mary Sue said angrily.

"Oh, well in that case, I love you too, I guess..." Naruto replied.

"Finally! Now, get in the quicksand with me." Mary Sue said. (4)

"Quicksand? But won't we sink?" Naruto asked.

"DON'T APPLY LOGIC TO BAD FAN FICTION! JUST DO IT, DAMNIT!!" Mary Sue shouted. She was clearly frustrated by Naruto's cluelessness.

"You know, this is the kind of thing that would win us a Darwin award." Naruto said. Mary Sue merely pushed him and Sasuke into the quicksand. She followed them in and the put an arm around one guy each.

"All right, it's time for sex! Now get inside me!" Mary Sue said.

"AGH! I'M SINKING!" Naruto shouted. "Now I'll never get to have that babe Sakura! I'll never get to be the Hokage like I wanted!"

"Naruto you idiot, the quicksand here is only waist-deep. Jeez, you are so fucking clueless sometimes." Mary Sue said. "Now both of you get your cocks inside me!"

"Anything for you, my love." Sasuke said.

Naruto entered Mary Sue's gates to heaven with his hard probe. At that time, they were up to their waists in quicksand.

"Mmm... Ooh yea... Naruto-kun, are you feeling what I'm feeling?" Mary Sue asked.

"Yea, I got sand in my butt crack too, and it's damn uncomfortable." Naruto replied. Mary Sue grimaced at this.

"You know, if you weren't so damn sexy, I'd kick your ass for that." Mary Sue said. "Now shut up and fuck me good." Sasuke entered her from behind, going into the back door. Mary Sue started to moan as they went back and forth inside her.

"Ooh... Yes.... More!" Mary Sue said. She felt wonderful holding both cocks deep inside her. Naruto felt Mary Sue's super-tight pussy squeeze him hard, and it felt good.

"Ah, this sand is chafing me." Naruto said as he went back and forth inside Mary Sue's hot snatch.

"Naruto! The narrator said you were supposed to be enjoying this!" Mary sue snapped.

"Oh, well, in that case, ooh! Oh yes Mary Sue! You're so tight!" Naruto said.

"I feel absolutely wonderful inside you ass, Mary Sue." Sasuke said. She went up and down on them, riding them as if there was no tomorrow.

"Oh yes! I feel both of you deep inside me!" Mary Sue said. "MORE!"

"Of course, my beloved." Sasuke said. He then reached around her and started caressing her right tit. Naruto did the same to the left one. Mary Sue continued to moan and gasp as they fucked. Naruto couldn't hold it in for very long, and neither could Sasuke. Both guys came at the same time, but it took a bit more ramming to make Mary Sue come. When she did, she had an earth-shattering orgasm. Literally. Quicksand flew everywhere as she achieved her ultimate pleasure.

Mary Sue, Naruto and Sasuke exited the quicksand pit. They lay on the ground next to it and felt the afterglow.

"Mmm... So Naruto, was that your first orgasm?" Mary Sue asked.

"Yea, but knowing it was you really made it worth it." Naruto said.

"It made me feel absolutely invincible." Sasuke said. "You're the best woman on any planet, Mary Sue."

"You're damn right I am." Mary Sue said with brattiness.

"I want to know one thing though." Naruto said. "How did we have sex without removing our clothes?" (5)

"It's a badfic! Stop applying logic to it!" Mary Sue said.

"Oh... Okay." Naruto said.


Sakura, Hinata and Marty Stu were in the gym together. Nobody else was around.

"Let me get this straight. If I want to get laid, I gotta do you *with* her!?" Sakura asked.

"Well, Since Mary Sue took both Naruto and Sasuke, yes." Marty Stu replied.

"Hey, don't sweat it. This is bad fanfiction." Hinata said. Sakura fumed for a bit.

"Damnit. Where are all the other cute guys?" Sakura said.

"I had the writer not include them in the story." Marty Stu said. "Now let's get to fucking." Marty Stu then unzipped Sakura's dress.

"By the great Hokages, this sucks. All right, but you'd better satisfy me." Sakura said. Hinata already got naked and then Marty Stu stripped. When Sakura was naked, she smiled at Marty Stu.

"Okay, so you got a big cock. But what can you do with it?" Sakura asked.

"Just try sucking it." Marty Stu said. He then laid down and Hinata straddled his face. Sakura took his cock into her mouth and licked it. It was tastier than the finest sweets in the finest sweet-making places. (6)

Wait a minute. What if my blowjob isn't good enough? What if I come and he doesn't? What if someone walks in on us? What if he likes Hinata's blowjob more than mine? Sakura thought. Hinata started having similar doubts. She wondered if her pussy was sweet enough. She wondered if her blowjob would match Sakura's. (7) Marty Stu was silent as he licked Hinata's wet, tight snatch.

"Mmm... Ooh yes, Marty Stu, lick me good!" Hinata said. "It's so deep! I feel it so deep inside me!" Marty Stu continued giving Hinata head while Sakura blew him hard. After a while, Hinata traded places with Sakura. Hinata took Marty Stu's cock eagerly into her mouth and started sucking it. Although Sakura spread her legs wide and offered her pussy to Marty Stu, he refused to lick her snatch.

"Hey, what's going on here!? I gave you a blowjob, it's time you returned the favor!" Sakura said with anger.

"I don't feel like it." Marty Stu said with brattiness. Sakura pulled a knife out of her robe.

"Well, maybe I feel like slicing your throat then!" Sakura said as Hinata continued to suck Marty Stu.

"Hey, I am Marty Stu and if I say you don't get oral, you don't get oral!" Marty Stu replied.

"Goddamn motherfucking shithead crapfics." Sakura replied. (8) She then thought that her blowjob may not have satisfied Marty Stu.

"Okay, I'll try harder with my blowjob next time." Sakura said. Hinata eventually stopped her blowjob and then Sakura climbed onto Marty Stu's mammoth cock. She forced herself down on that organ, but couldn't get all of it inside her.

"Whoa! That feels huge!!" Sakura said as her eyes went wide. She went up and down on Marty Stu's monster sized rod, and didn't want it to stop. Sakura fucked him long and hard, going hard and fast on Marty Stu's cock. (9) Marty Stu felt Sakura's tight, wet love hole squeeze his cock as hard as it could. Marty Stu was also busy groping Hinata's copious tits, which were in his face. He barely noticed Sakura squeezing his pecker with all the force she could muster. Sakura ran up and down on him until she climaxed.


Sakura collapsed next to Marty Stu as Hinata took her turn riding Marty Stu. Hinata was able to force all of Marty Stu's meat into herself, the first woman ever to do so. This, of course, made her stomach look like she was eight months pregnant. (10) Hinata moaned and gasped as she started writhing.

"Ooh! That hurts so good!" Hinata said as she went up and down on Marty Stu. She felt him deeper than any man before. Marty Stu probed the deepest reaches of her vagina and wouldn't stop. Hinata was feeling the ultimate pleasure with Marty Stu and vice versa. They did this until they achieved a simultaneous climax. Hinata screamed as she achieved her orgasmic delights.

"Are you two done yet?" Sakura asked.

"Mmm... Yea..." Marty Stu moaned as Hinata collapsed next to him.

"Well, in previous chapters you said you had an unhealthy fixation with redheads. My hair is pink, hers is black. So why are you obsessed with her more!?" Sakura asked.

"Huh... You're right. Switch out. Now you got head and Hinata didn't." (11)

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Hinata and Sakura said simultaneously.


A bit later, Marty Stu and Mary Sue stood at the school's gates. Opposite them were Hinata, Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke.

"We really wish you would stay, Mary Sue." Sasuke said.

"Alas, Sasuke, I am a woman that is born to travel. But I'm taking you with me." Mary Sue said.

"What? He's not supposed to leave here!" Sakura said.

"This is a badfic. Don't sweat anything because it's not real." Marty Stu said. He then bamfed out.

Mary Sue took Sasuke and married him.

"Ha! You stupid fanbrats! I married Sasuke! Now YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!" Mary Sue said. (12)

"Of course, now that I'm no longer in the Naruto world, I don't have to be dreamboat! Sasuke. I want an annulment." Sasuke said. He then got one over Mary Sue's objections.

"God damnit, I just one some hot studs to fuck!! There had better be more in this next world!!" Mary Sue said.

Outside the school in the requisite cherry tree near the school gate, the sand trio stood on a branch.

"Man, that was messed up." &$ said.

"At least he didn't break us up again and have us dive into TEH ANGST." Gaara replied.

-To Be Continued?-

(1) Slutty! Hinata is very OOC. Sure she's hot, but she is NOT a slut. She is shy and quiet.
(2) Tsundere is a hentai term for a girl that is angry and stand-offish at first, but gradually ends up loving the man anyway. As always, anime crapfic writers seem to think that throwing a Japanese word in their fics somehow makes it better. That's never the case though.
(3) Just because you know a fact does not mean that you should use it. However, studying psychology is important if you want your characters to sound more like themselves and not a fanbrat trying to sound like them.
(4) Sex in quicksand? Ick. What about all the sand in uncomfortable places? Why is there a quicksand bog at a high school in the first place? Keep sex out of things like this. Sex can be done in air and water, but not here. Also, if it's done in water, be careful. Drowning is not the way to go.
(5) It's practically impossible to have sex without at least exposing the genitalia. Don't leave your characters fully clothed while they're having sex.
(6) It's called a confectionery. Research, fanbrats!
(7) Don't interrupt your sex scenes for TEH ANGST. Once you start, it's a bit too late to start wondering about things. This kind of thinking is a self-defeating prophecy.
"No more of your vhining!! You vill smile unt be happy while you fuck Marty Schtu!"
(8) If someone is nice enough to give you head, return the favor. You'll find it makes the sex better. It's common courtesy.
(9) Why is it always "hard and fast?" What's so wrong with taking things slowly and letting the pleasure last a bit?
(10) While the human vagina is elastic, it's not *this* elastic. I've seen drawings of women that have things that are way too large to fit inside, like the head and neck of a horse. This is just sick and unrealistic.
(11) Continuity? What's that? *rolls eyes* This is just stupid.
(12) Now this one is just dumb. Only the owner of a character can decide if that character will permanently marry someone. You have to share characters with everyone. GET OVER YOURSELF.