Unlocking My Love

Author: JadeHeart
Fandom: Gravitation
Warnings: bad language
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creator of ‘Gravitation’.


Unlocking My Love: Chapter 13


He’s got to have been crazy.

No, not crazy, just a masochist to have subjected himself to this. Why did he do it? He knew it would be like this, it always was, so why did he still go ahead and do it? Couldn’t he have thought of something – anything! – else to do instead? Surely he could have, so why hadn’t he been quick enough to do just that?

Yuki swallowed a sigh and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, wishing he could block out the sound as well as the sight and hoping in vain that when he opened them again it would all have just been a bad dream.

Slowly he did just that, lids lifting and unveiling the world before him once more. Nope, it would have been just too much to ask for. Nothing had changed.

He sighed again, a little more audibly this time, and hunched his shoulders in disgruntlement. Why was he here? Why hadn’t he said ‘no’?

He looked around at the scene before him. Just why the hell had he agreed to subject himself to a luncheon with his family, consisting of Tohma, Mika AND Tatsuha?!

He reached out and picked up the drink in front of him, partially filled with amber liquid. It was coming up to late afternoon and he’d been drinking steadily since lunch. Being with his family tended to do that – though if he was being perfectly honest he really didn’t need all that much encouragement to have a few. It was just that being harassed by his siblings seemed to drive him to the brink faster than most things!

Suddenly the glass disappeared from between his fingers as though like magic, one moment there, then it was gone, and he was left staring at the emptiness that had once been occupied.

“What the fuck?” He looked up to glare at his sister standing by his side, his purloined glass in her hand. So there was the culprit. He frowned at her, reaching out to reclaim his missing drink.

“That is quite enough for you,” Mika said firmly, moving away and taking the glass with her.

Yuki scowled after her, opening his mouth to snap something quite rude and certainly inappropriate to say to an older sister, but if there was one thing he really hated was people interrupting his drinking!

“You have had a number already, Eiri,”

His tirade was cut off before being voiced as he turned to look over the table at Tohma.

“That is beside the point,” he snarled, not worried about being polite.

A steaming coffee cup was placed in front of him, hard enough to send a vibration through the table top his arm was resting on, yet still not spilling a drop over the sides.

“As you don’t have the good sense to know when to stop, nor to not try and drive afterwards when you would certainly be far too drunk,” Mika stated, looking down at him. “You can have coffee from now on.”

Yuki glared at her, meeting her steely grey eyes that matched him glare for glare, daring him to argue with her. He took a deep breath, more than ready to voice his displeasure at her high handed ways and controlling mannerisms when he heard Tatsuha chortle in his corner, lifting his beer with a grin.

“Tough luck, bro!” Tatsuha snickered, enjoying seeing his older brother berated by their sister. It was always good for entertainment value when these two started. He settled back in his chair with a smirk, waiting for the fireworks to begin.

Yuki transferred his glare to his younger brother now, not appreciating having Tatsuha treat him as nothing more than a joke. But before he could make any kind of scathing remark about the state of his health, heritage or moral code, a hand dove over the younger man’s shoulder and into the top pocket of his shirt, reappearing a moment later with a set of keys dangling from slender fingers.

“Hey!” Tatsuha exclaimed, twisting around in his chair and looking up at Mika who stood behind him.

“You will be staying the night,” she directed to him quite calmly, turning away and taking his bike keys with her.

“Hey!” Tatsuha said. “You didn’t take his keys off him!” he almost whined.

Mika paid no attention to the tone. “Eiri is old enough to know when he’s being an idiot. And if he still wants to be one that is up to him.”

Yuki held his tongue with difficulty but his eyes stabbed daggers at his calm sister. It was just one insult after another with her! He was oh, so tempted to call her a stuck up bitch just to see what reaction he got!

Then again, if he did that he had better do so only when there were no objects within reach that she could throw. Mika had a mean arm on her, and her aim was always dead on!

“I’m an adult too!” Tatsuha declared loudly, sitting up straighter. “I don’t need to be babied!”

Mika fixed him with her patented look of scorn, one elegant brow lifting in disbelief. “You,” she emphasized, “are incapable of ever being an adult. And as such, I have no choice. You will be staying the night.”

Her tone brooked no argument but Yuki could still see that Tatsuha was fuming although he wasn’t quite brave enough to say anything to his sister and rouse her wrath.

“It will be a pleasure to have you,” Tohma indicated smoothly. “The children will be delighted.”

Tatsuha glowered at his smiling brother-in-law, knowing that the comment was made as nothing more than a way of soothing the troubled waters but another glance at Mika’s false serenity was enough for him to finally realize that it was a lost cause. He slumped in his chair in defeat. He knew he was beaten.

“Fine then,” he snarled, raising his beer and sculling down the last quarter, thumping it back on the table forcefully. “Then I’ll have another drink since I’m not going to be driving anyway!” he declared loudly, daring anyone to say anything.

“That’s fine,” Mika stated calmly, seating herself next to her husband. “You know where everything is.”

Her younger brother sat still for a moment then stood, grumbling, to get his own drink. Yuki smirked at his browbeaten brother to which Tatsuha responded to by sticking his tongue out at him

‘Juvenile,’ he thought back and saw Tatsuha mouth ‘jerk’ as if reading his thoughts.

“How come you didn’t stop him getting another?” Yuki asked his sister, lighting up a cigarette. “He’s already had more than me.”

“If he has a few more drinks he’ll be passed out and asleep before too long,” Mika replied smoothly, then sighed. “At least he’ll be quiet then.”

Yuki rolled his eyes. His sister was as manipulative as Tohma. He sometimes wondered who may have taught whom in that department, or maybe they just kept learning off each other. Perhaps having the two of them marry each other might have been the worse thing ever, they were only going to get more so! Or, now he paused in his smoking, was it genetic? Did that mean his nephews would inherit the genes from BOTH sides? Did that mean that those kids would grow up to be a merging of every trait from both Tohma and Mika?

His eyes glazed over a little at that thought. Heaven help the world once they were older! Thank gods he would most likely be safely dead and buried before that happened!

Tatsuha returned then, throwing himself back into this chair, drinking from his bottle. He looked like he was tempted to put his feet up on the table but he still retained enough sense to not try pushing his sister any further. Mika was not known for her patience.

Yuki tried to quell his desire to reach out and steal Tatsuha’s beer for himself, he still really felt like he wanted the taste of alcohol on his tongue. Instead he forced himself to reach out and pick up his coffee, sipping carefully at the hot beverage.

“So have you spoken to Shuichi lately?” Mika asked, looking over at him as she played absently with the stem of her wine glass.

“No,” he replied shortly. He’d wanted to, every day since Shuichi had left he had wanted to pick up the phone and call him, just to hear his voice again. Every day had made that desire grow. In fact he’d had to fight the urge to contact Shuichi half a dozen times each day but he wasn’t about to tell anyone that.

“Why not?” she questioned, tilting her head to one side as though scrutinizing an interesting specimen under a microscope. “Surely you want to know what’s been happening? It’s been nearly a week since he left.”

“Five days,” he stated, then closed his mouth with a snap. He wasn’t counting – not at all!

“Geez, bro!” Tatsuha put in, “What’s the problem now? I thought you’d have put a tracer on the little twerp after last time!”

Yuki scowled at him. “That,” he growled. “is none of your business!”

“Sure it is! None of us want to have you go psycho on us again.”

“I didn’t go ‘psycho’,” Yuki snarled, knowing Tatsuha was just trying to push his buttons.

“Yeah, sure. What would you call it; running all over the world, making up elaborate stories, all the time trying to drink yourself into an early grave because you couldn’t get your hands on your favourite screw toy?”

“You,” Yuki half rose from his seat, more than ready to punch his irritating brother for the crude insults he was making. Not so much for those directed about himself, but it really raised his ire to hear Shuichi being spoken of like that.

“Sit down,” Mika’s sharp voice halted his motion and he glanced across to see her looking directly at him. She motioned with a downward flicker of her eyelids for him to comply to her order. He didn’t particular want to obey, he still wanted to snot the little bastard, but he could see the slight touch of worry in his sister’s gaze also so he did as she wanted.

He took a deep swallow from his now almost cold coffee. He didn’t know what the hell was going on with Tatsuha. Sure, Tats usually tried to rile him about stuff just to see him lose his cool, but he wasn’t usually this derogatory towards Shuichi and certainly not in this way. He’d always had a soft spot for Shu, not only because Shuichi was very similar to Ryuichi Sakuma, the one and only that Tats obsessed about. So in some ways the ribbing and snide comments weren’t entirely out of character but they seemed to have an edge to them that normally wasn’t there. Now that he thought about it more he realized that Tatsuha just didn’t seem like himself.

“So how is Shuichi going?” Mika now directed her question to her husband, obviously abandoning her brother as a lost cause. Yuki perked his ears up to hear Tohma’s response, unable to quell his own need to know, his disagreement with Tatsuha forgotten.

“From all I have heard the tour is progressing well, with no issues arising to date.” Tohma responded.

“Meaning: they’re rocking!” Tatsuha interpreted. “That’s no big surprise. The new album is great and Shu’s new look is smoking!”

Eiri glanced at his brother. “You are one sick perv,” he stated.

Tatsuha just looked back at him. “Why? Because I think he looks good?” He shrugged. “At least I’m honest enough to admit it. Unlike some.” He took a drink. “In actual fact, I prefer his new look. He looks older now, more adult.” He gazed off into the distance. “Maybe that’s why I like it,” he said, “He reminds me of Ryu at his peak. Really in control of his music.”

“Ryuichi?” Tohma questioned, glancing at the youngest of the Uesagi siblings. “You think so?”

“Yep,” Tatsuha confirmed. “I mean he’s not exactly the same, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying he’s some kind of carbon copy, but his change of look matches the change in Bad Luck’s music. It’s like they’ve all finally grown up.”

“Hmm,” Tohma murmured.

“I think he’s right,” Mika said. Tohma looked across to his wife. “Bad Luck isn’t just some kiddy-pop band anymore. They’ve got a more mature sound to them, a greater scope if you like. If they work it right they’ll develop a far greater fan base, apart from just the teeny-bopprs.”

“Hmm,” Tohma sipped at his coffee.

“Not that you really needed us to tell you that.” Mika added, standing and gathering together some of the empty dishes from the table.

Tohma flashed a brief smile at her and Yuki saw her reciprocate. He returned his gaze back to his brother-in-law. She was probably right. Tohma had probably known all that. In fact he had probably orchestrated the whole thing. In his darkest moments he sometimes wondered if Tohma hadn’t been responsible for Shuichi’s accident and disappearance in the first place, and it had all been an elaborate scheme of his to push Bad Luck in this new direction.

The frightening thing was that such a crazy thought didn’t seem that crazy when applied to Tohma Seguchi.

“So why haven’t you phoned him?” Tatsuha pushed, peeling the label from his beer bottle.

“There’s no need to,” Yuki growled, wishing his annoying brother would shut up.

“You two are just hopeless!” Tatsuha stated. “Aren’t you even interested in saying ‘hello’ to him?”

“I’ll see him when he gets back.”

“That’s ages away! You’ve been as miserable as a bear with a sore head since he’s been gone so why don’t you just go and see him? I reckon he’d be pretty pleased if you did.”

“Why would I want to see him?!” Yuki stared at his brother as though he had taken complete leave of his senses.

“Because you’re crazy about him!” Tatsuha shouted back, leaning forward over the table towards his brother. “So just go to him!”

“You’re an idiot!” Yuki mirrored his position so they were almost nose to nose, glaring at one another.

“Takes one to know one!” Tatsuha spat back, hands clenched in fists on the table top.

“You could go and see him, Eiri,” Tohma quietly put in, halting the argument immediately. Two heads turned in his direction, one light, one dark, as he continued. “They’re currently in Osaka but by the middle of next week they’ll be in Kyoto. Neither is that far away. You could always go for a few days at least, even perhaps the weekend.”

“That is a stupid idea.” Yuki stated flatly, leaning back in his chair again

“Why?” Mika asked, returning from the kitchen and replacing the full ashtray between Yuki and Tatsuha with an empty one. “What’s stopping you, apart from your stiff necked pride?”

Yuki didn’t answer. In fact he couldn’t think of anything to say really. She was right. There wasn’t anything just at the moment stopping him from taking a bit of time off. But run off to Osaka or Kyoto? That was just plain crazy! That’s the sort of bizarre thing that appeared only in bad novels or movies. Although it was also exactly what Shuichi would have done – or once would have. Now he wasn’t so sure about that. Besides, Shuichi aside, people didn’t just go rushing off like that to be with someone, at the drop of a hat. There was such thing as responsibilities, and being practical. That’s it, it was not practical for him to go.

But then, Shuichi isn’t the only one who’s traveled to the other side of the world to find someone. He did exactly that himself. He actually hadn’t really thought about that much. It made him seem a lot more like Shuichi, and that was just plain scary!

“It’s only a few hours away and only for a few days. It’s not like you would be gone for long. You did, after all, go all the way to North America for him once.” Tohma suddenly said quietly.

Yuki looked across at him. Damn the man, could he even read minds now?!

Tohma smiled as though that was exactly what he was doing and Yuki suppressed a shiver, as well as clamping down on his thoughts. If Tohma could read minds, he wasn’t about to give him any more ammunition to work with!

“Exactly!” Mika said firmly, placing a platter of watermelon on the table. “If you can manage to do that for him, I’m sure you could go as far as Osaka or Kyoto. Or at least contact him!”

Yuki rolled his eyes with a sigh of long suffering. “All right, I’ll call him. That’s if the idiot even has his phone on!”

“Then go and do it now,” Mika said, making a shooing motion to send him on his way.

Yuki pushed back his chair and strode outside, knowing that if he didn’t go she would only continue to badger him. Once outside he lit up another cigarette. It was a pleasant late afternoon, the sun just beginning to dip towards the horizon. He stood there silently smoking, just watching the shadows lengthen.

He could just stay here until he finished and then go in and say that he had made the call. It didn’t mean that he actually had to do it. But if he did that, then knowing his luck, Mika would get hold of his phone and actually check if he had placed the call, and then she would give him hell for lying to her. He growled to himself. There was no getting around it. He was damned no matter how he looked at it.

He pulled out his phone and turned it on. He stared at it. It would be nice to hear Shuichi’s voice, he had missed it. He’d got used to being able to speak to Shuichi every day during that week before he left. It had been…..nice to be able to meet up for lunch, the movie, coffee. He suddenly raised a hand to cover his eyes as he was struck by a thought. Gods, he’d been dating Shu! He couldn’t believe it! He had actually been going on dates!! How pathetic was he?!

His hand fell to swing at his side as his shoulders slumped. He wondered if Shuichi had figured that out as well? Then again, and he straightened up a little, Shuichi probably didn’t care if he did realize the same. Yeah, that idiot wouldn’t see anything wrong with it at all. Not that Yuki necessarily thought it was ‘wrong’, it’s just that he didn’t do dates!

He stared at his phone once more. Should he call? It couldn’t hurt to do so, it was just a phone call. Or he could just leave it, a small inner voice whispered. Just forget about it and not bother. It’s the safest thing to do.

He fought against that urge and made himself dial the number, bring it up to his ear. It flicked immediately to the message bank, surprising him. Damn it! Yuki hung up immediately, without leaving a message. Just as he thought, the idiot didn’t have his phone on!

He was about to shove it back in his pocket when it suddenly beeped in his hand, surprising him, indicating there was a message waiting. He was even more surprised when the name and number showing on the screen was Shuichi’s. What..?

He dialed again and once more it flipped to the message bank. He hung up a little more forcefully this time, snapping the flip piece down. What the hell was going on?

The phone beeped again. Again it was Shuichi’s number. What was the idiot playing at, he fumed.

He dialed once more and again got the message bank. This time he did leave a message.

“Get off the damn phone!” he snarled into the hand piece and then hung up.

Again the phone beeped, showing a missed call.

Idiot, he fumed. Fine, he would try once more. He dialed but again the message bank picked up. He hung up on the first word, his anger increasing with every moment. The annoying beep sounded again but this time the little envelope flashed to indicate that there was an actual message waiting for him. Damn it.

He called up his own message bank.

“What are you doing?” Shuichi’s exasperation was quite clear in his voice. “Call me back!”

Why the little…! Who does he think he is, demanding he call him? Yuki stared at the phone for a minute, then dialed again.

************

Shuichi stared at the phone in his hand. Damn it, he probably shouldn’t have said that. It would most likely just piss Eiri off. He had just got so frustrated.

He’d managed to get away to a quiet spot here at the gate in the hope he wouldn’t be bothered or overheard, going so far as to try and hide behind some plants growing in a flowerbed to avoid recognition by passing pedestrians. The last think he needed was to be mobbed by squealing fans. Yuki would not be impressed to hear that in the background when he answered.

Only that was the problem. The man wouldn’t answer!

When Shuichi had first dialed, the call had gone immediately to the message bank. He’d hung up quickly, without leaving a message. He had been expecting to hear it ring at least a few times. Suddenly the bars of ‘Rage Beat’ jingled in his hand, startling him so much that he had to juggle the phone quickly to prevent it from falling to the ground. He looked at the screen and saw Yuki’s name and number indicating a missed call. Oh; he quickly redialed.

Once again it went straight through to the message bank and once more he quickly hung up. What was happening? Obviously Yuki had his phone because it said he’d tried to call. He was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of music again and sure enough Yuki’s number appeared again.

Shuichi frowned and gave a small exasperated sigh. Why couldn’t he get hold of the man?

He dialed once more but the message bank picked it up and once again he just hung up. This time, as he looked at the silent phone, he began to laugh at himself. Oh, geez, why was he acting like such an idiot? What was the matter; was he was afraid of leaving an actual message for Yuki? Oh, how much more pathetic could he get?

Get a grip, he scolded himself. It is just a phone, and it is just a message. Just call him back and talk to him. The phone gave a sudden beep and he saw that a message was waiting for him. Quickly he called it up, almost holding his breath, waiting to hear what was said.

His ear was suddenly blasted with, “Get off the damn phone!”. He stared at it, eyes round with surprise.

Geez, he snorted, hanging up. Fine, he would try once more.

He dialed again but once more the message bank picked it up. This is getting downright ridiculous, he thought, beginning to feel just a little angry. So this time he did leave a message, short and succinct, and he was very proud of himself to not include any expletives as Yuki was so wont to do.

“What are you doing? Call me back.”

Now, now he was having second thoughts about leaving that message. Yuki was just as likely to take it all the wrong way and get pissed off at him and then he’d never talk to him!

That worrying thought immediately sent his fingers flying over the keypad. He’d better get hold of Yuki straight away and tell him he’s sorry.

*************

“Fucking hell!” Yuki shouted as the call went to the message bank once more. “Get the fuck off the phone!” he almost screamed into it.

This time the phone beeped to say there was a message. By this time Yuki was more than a little hot under the collar and almost just deleted the waiting message outright but he stayed his hand, angrily pressing the button to let it play. He listened as Shuichi apologized for the previous message.

Well, at least the idiot realized that he shouldn’t have said it.

Then Yuki thought about his last message, just sent. Ah, shit! Now he’s done it. The little idiot would be pissed off at him again. Hell, he couldn’t seem to catch a break! He’s better do something to try and apologise as well or he was never going to speak to him again!

So what could he do? Phoning was completely out of the question now. They had both just proved that was a useless mechanism for them to communicate. He stared at the phone in his hand in distaste. Fucking modern technology, he snarled under his breath.

So if he couldn’t phone him what could he do? He looked at his watch. It wasn’t that late. He knew Shuichi was scheduled for a concert tonight so he would be up till late. If he headed home now he could throw a few things into a bag and get to the station on time and be in Osaka only three hours later. He would still catch him.

He turned away and went back into the house.

*************

Shuichi had just hung up from sending his apology when the phone beeped to say there was a waiting message. That was quick, he thought, seeing Yuki’s name. He called it up and then was forced to hold the phone away from his ear as the scathing words blasted out of it. What the…?! Hell, it’s not his fault that that jerk was always on the phone!

That’s it, he wasn’t standing for this any longer! He had tried to do the right thing and apologise when he had felt he’d done the wrong thing, but this was going just too far! He was not going to play this game anymore! Angrily he shoved his phone into his pocket and stormed off, intending to find Hiro and Suguru and actually finish having fun this day.

And to hell with Eiri Yuki!

**************

“I’m going.” Yuki said, grabbing his jacket and putting the phone on the table as he dressed.

“Going?” Tohma asked, his tone indicating he guessed that Yuki wasn’t just speaking about leaving there for the evening.

He just met Tohma’s steady gaze, not saying anything. Then a slow smile spread across Tohma’s face and he inclined his head slightly. “That is good news.” he said quietly.

“Drive carefully,” Mika called out from the kitchen. “Don’t forget to say goodbye to the children.”

“All right,” Yuki walked into the room at the far end of the hall, the furtherest from the bustling area of kitchen and living room, but found his two nephews still sleeping, not having awoken yet from their afternoon nap. Not surprising really when they had been hard at it playing samurai with their Uncle Tatsuha right up till the moment their mother pulled the covers over them.

He reached out and gave a soft pat on the light hair of each before leaving the room quietly so as not to disturb them. As he made his way down the hall he heard his phone ring and hurried his steps.

“Hey, it’s Shu!” Tatsuha said, holding his phone and reading the screen.

“Give it here,” Yuki snarled, reaching out to retrieve his possession.

“Uh, uh,” Tatsuha teased, holding it out of reach.

Yuki’s face clouded over like thunder. “Give it the fuck back!”

He lunged and grabbed for it, surprising his brother, but in the brief tussle that followed, the call was disconnected.

“Fuck you, dickhead!” Yuki shouted at his brother, furious at losing contact with Shuichi once again.

“What’s the big deal? Just call him back!” Tatsuha tried to brush aside his actions. “You didn’t want to talk to him anyway!”

Yuki suddenly swung and his fist connected with Tatsuha’s face, sending him stumbling back to land on the floor, one hand going to his struck cheek. He glared up at his brother, fire building in his eyes as he gathered himself to throw himself at Yuki.

“Enough!” Mika’s strident voice brought them both to a halt. She stood between them. “Tats, get outside and cool off!” she commanded. “Eiri, sit down!”

Tatsuha grumbled but did as he was told. Eiri didn’t.

“Pick up the phone and call Shuichi and ignore Tats,” Mika said evenly.

Yuki thrust his jaw out belligerently.

“Eiri, do it. The only person you’re punishing is yourself – and Shuichi.” Mika turned away, still muttering under her breath and although Yuki couldn’t make the words out distinctly, the tone was definitely uncomplimentary and most certainly directed at both her erring brothers.

Yuki slowly picked up the phone and left the house. As he sat in his car he redialed. The phone rang and rang. Was Shuichi ignoring him completely now? At least it hadn’t gone to that damn message bank. Finally he heard the click of a connection and Shu’s voice.

“Hello?” It sounded a little cold.

“Tatsuha is an idiot,” Yuki said without preamble.

“Huh?” Shuichi’s surprise was evident in his tone.

“Tatsuha thought he was being smart in grabbing my phone and your call was cut off.” It wasn’t exactly an apology, he knew, but it was as close as it was likely to get coming from him at this time. He just couldn’t bring himself to say anything more, not when he was still feeling so angry towards his brother.

*******

Shuichi hadn’t been certain he would even answer the phone when it had begun to ring, showing that the call was coming from Yuki. He had stared at the flashing lights for some time before he had flicked it open. In fact, he had been so angry at being cut off before that he had been quite ready to scream and yell abuse at Yuki, but he now found he had been thrown completely off guard by the mention of Tatsuha. Yes, he could imagine some sort of insanity occurring between the brothers that had resulted in his call suffering the brunt of whatever it had been. Now his anger was beginning to fade.

“Okay, I’m not even going to try asking just what the hell has been going on,” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose with eyes closed. “I’m sure it will just give me a headache.”

“Tell me about it,” Yuki replied.

“I’ve been trying to call you.” he said.

“I’ve been trying to call you.” Yuki responded. “You were always on the phone.”

“So were you!” Shuichi shot back.

“That’s because I was trying to reach you!” Yuki sounded almost defensive.

“And I was trying to call you!” Shuichi could feel the anger returning again. How dare Yuki try and blame this all on him!

**********

Yuki could hear Shuichi’s heavy breathing in a way that usually only indicated two things; he was horny or he was angry. And as he didn’t think Shuichi really got that excited about yelling over the phone he would have to go with the latter.

He sighed. “Fine. We’re both idiots. That’s why I hate modern technology.”

Shuichi chuckled down the connection. “Except for your laptop.”

“Except for that.” Yuki agreed reluctantly.

“Why were you calling?” Shuichi asked him.

“Why were you?” He countered quickly, not wanting to say now. He was sure to sound quite pathetic if he said he just wanted to hear his voice!

“I asked you first,” Shuichi wasn’t letting him off the hook that easily it would seem.

“I….just wanted to see how you were going,” he muttered under his breath.

“Oh, it’s going fine,” Shuichi replied lightly. “How about you?”

“I’m fine,” There was silence for a few heartbeats then Yuki asked, “What were you calling me for?”

“Oh the same,” was the only answer he received. Hardly anything earth-shattering there, Yuki grumbled silently.

There was silence for a moment more, then Yuki blurted out, “I was going…”, just as Shuichi also spoke, “I wanted to…”

They both halted their sentences.

“Sorry,” Shuichi said. “You go first.”

“No, you go.” Yuki felt his face flushing. He reached up a hand to his brow and was surprised to feel moisture. Hell, he was sitting here sweating!

He heard Shuichi’s sigh over the line. “Why is it always so hard for us?” he said.

“Uhmm,” Yuki wasn’t quite certain what to say to that. He was right. It did always seem hard for them just to have a conversation. When had it become like this? Or had it always been this way?

He steeled himself against his instinctive reaction to not say anything, not admit anything, and spoke. “I was calling because I wanted to come and see you.” he said in a rush, cringing at the way it sounded.

There was silence for a moment, then Shuichi responded, “You were?” His voice rose on the last word, almost cracking so great was his surprise.

“Yeah,” Yuki admitted.

“W…when?” Shuichi stuttered a little as though he was having difficulty forming the word.

“Tonight.”

“Oh.”

Silence again and Yuki’s hand groped for his cigarettes again. He’d already stubbed out the last and he was feeling in dire need of a nicotine fix just at the moment to calm his nerves. He couldn’t even remember when the last time was that he was this nervous!

“So,” He took a gulp of air. “That all right?”

“Oh! Yeah, sure! I mean, I was… I mean,” Shuichi’s words trailed off.

“What?” Yuki asked, giving into temptation and drawing out a cigarette, clasping it between his teeth to remove it from the packet.

“I…was calling you to ask if you would like to meet somewhere. Though,” and Shuichi’s voice became a little softer. “I didn’t know if you were too busy to come.”

“Humph,” was Yuki’s replied as he withdrew the cigarette lighter and placed the glowing end to tip of his smoke. He inhaled deeply, then blew out the lungful of smoke before continuing. “I can make it for a few days.”

“Really?” Shuichi sounded surprised. “You’ve got the time?”

“Yeah, I have nothing pressing at the moment. So…” Yuki paused for a moment, “if you want me to, I can stay a little while.” He held his breath for Shuichi’s answer.

“That’s great!”

Yuki was so startled by the sudden exuberance in Shuichi’s voice that he almost choked on his next inhalation.

Shuichi continued, speaking rapidly. “I mean, if you come down tonight we’re still Osaka and we’ll be here for a few days so we can look around a bit together. It’ll be fun doing some sight-seeing because I normally don’t get that much time to do so, or I just don’t feel like doing it on my own. Hiro and Suguru aren’t always interested in some of the things that I am, you know. And then, I don’t know if you’ve got the time, but you could come with us to Kyoto so we can spend more time there. I know you know everything there is to know about there because it’s your home but there are heaps of places I haven’t been too. I really want to go to Toei Movie Land, it’s been years since I’ve gone there. You’d come, wouldn’t you, Eiri? You don’t have to dress up or anything like if you don’t want to, but you’d still come with me, wouldn’t you?”

He finally paused for breath and Yuki was able to say something. “I could probably manage that.” He thought about it for a bit. “I guess I could probably manage to be with you for about a week if that suits you.”

“A week?! Oh, wow, that’d be fantastic! We could do so much, and that means you can spend time here in Osaka and in Kyoto! So when will you get here?”

Yuki looked at his watch, time was ticking away quickly. “If I really get a move on I should manage to be there around midnight. Can you have someone pick me up at the station?”

“Not a problem,” Shuichi assured him quickly. “I’ll get Sakano or K to do it. We will only be finishing up after the concert so it won’t be like both of them have to still be with us. I’ll tell them straight away.”

“Okay.” Yuki agreed.

“Uhm,” Shuichi suddenly sounded a little unsure.

“Yes?” Yuki hoped he wasn’t about to change his mind now.

“Ah, have you booked anywhere to stay? I mean, do you have a hotel yet?”

“No, I’ll do that when I get there.” Yuki started the car and began to drive. If he really was going to make the train on time he had to get moving.

“It’s just that things are pretty packed here at the moment, you might find it hard to find somewhere.”

“Are you saying that I shouldn’t come?”

“NO!”

Shuichi sounded frantic and Yuki could just picture him flapping his arms or doing something equally ridiculous.

“No, all I’m saying is that it might be hard for you to find somewhere. And if you couldn’t, you could always….ah…”

“What?” Just what was Shuichi trying to say now, Yuki wondered.

He heard Shuichi draw in a deep breath. “If you can’t find anywhere you can stay with me.” he said.

Yuki nearly ran into the car in front of him in shock. He stamped hard on the brakes, hearing them squeal and sat for a moment looking at the red tail lights before him. He let his breath out in a whoosh, relief flooding through him.

“Yuki? Yuki!” Shuichi’s voice reached him through the phone. “Are you all right? Say something!”

“I’m fine,” he muttered, glad he’d already finished his cigarette because it wouldn’t have survived this near miss. “You just surprised me.”

“Sorry,” Shuichi said. “I just meant…”

“I know what you meant.” Yuki responded gruffly, moving away with the flow of traffic again. “And I appreciate the offer. The hotel can always throw another bed in the room.”

“They wouldn’t have to,” Shuichi said hurriedly. “There’s a spare bed here already. I’ve got a room with two double beds.”

Yuki raised an eyebrow as he pictured it. “What did they think you were going to do?” he said. “Have an orgy or something?”

“I hope not!” Shuichi said, laughter in his voice. “I really hope that isn’t what they think of me!”

“Whatever,” Yuki said, feeling thankful to see that he was nearing home. “Let’s see what happens when I get there.”

“Well, yeah, we could do,” Shuichi said. “But I was just thinking then that why even bother trying to look somewhere else.”

Yuki didn’t say anything as he navigated into his parking bay.

Shuichi continued. “Since I do have the extra bed already here doesn’t it make more sense that you just stay here? It would make it easier if we want to do stuff instead of trying to go back and forth between different hotels, don’t you think?”

Yuki turned off the engine and tried to still his heartbeat that was pounding hard in his chest at the thought of staying in the same room as Shuichi. He didn’t know if it would be a blessing or a curse, being that close to him, sleeping in the same room, being around him almost 24/7. Could he cope with that? But then, could he cope not being like that? The thought of not seeing Shuichi made his heart hurt.

That answered his question. “Okay, I’ll accept your offer,” he said, getting out of the car and locking it. “I’m going to pack now and go straight to the station so just make sure someone is at the other end to collect me.”

“I promise!” Shuichi said happily. “I can’t wait to see you!”

“Me too,” Yuki admitted.

“Bye!” and Shuichi hung up.

Yuki rang for a taxi and then stuffed the phone back into his pocket before throwing all dignity to the wind as he ran up the stairs to his apartment. Once inside he hurriedly stuffed a few pieces of clothing and toiletries into a small bag and headed back out the door to where the taxi was ready and waiting. If he had forgotten anything he could always just buy it so he wasn’t too concerned. He managed to just make it as the train was going to be leaving and thankfully settled into his seat with a sigh.

As he looked out the window at the darkening world he wondered at just what he was doing. He’d never thought he would act like this, dropping everything on just a whim, chasing after someone.

But Shuichi was special. He had been from the moment he had walked so unexpectedly into his life. It may have taken him a long time to realize that, and even longer to be able to accept it but once he had he had felt so much happier. Somehow it had seemed that his view on life had taken on a whole new perspective, and every way that he thought of his life and his future had featured Shuichi. So he wasn’t about to let that go. He had to keep trying, he had to keep hoping that he could convince Shuichi that it was right.

He had to just hope that Shuichi felt the same way.