L x Light
Chapter 13
Light knows that he was Kira. Not only because both he and L figured
this out, but also because, somewhere in his mind, he cannot deny that
he sympathizes with Kira. That somewhere in his mind, he cannot deny he
feels that Kira was right.
Kira is justice.
He knows L is sad because he understands this, too.
L is justice.
There’s a metal chain connecting them wrist to wrist.
Sacrificing for the overall good and permanent justice is right.
Deriving intense enjoyment from this sort of sacrifice isn’t.
Killing without so much as batting an eyelash isn’t.
It is, in fact, true, that without death Gods, Light isn’t fully Kira.
He doesn’t want to kill L. In fact, for some reason he wanted to save L.
But even while he doesn’t remember being Kira, the knowledge that the doorway
to justice has been shut leaves Light feeling eerily hollow.
He understands that things have happened again that he cannot remember.
L would have him shackled in far more intricate a bind had he suspected
Light to try anything less mild than the occasional innocent tug attempted
late into the night when, half asleep, Light would reveal internal frustration
unknown even to himself.
He kicks L clear off the bed, and later shudders internally to discover
how readily he expressed agitation. He doesn’t like acting as an open book.
He doesn’t like that L already knows things he doesn’t.
At 117 pounds, L falls straight to the floor, bony limbs collapsing
in a heap and then rearranging themselves into a sitting position as his
big eyes stare across the mattress at his sleeping counterpart.
Disoriented, he climbs back up, murmuring that it hurt and Light shouldn’t
kick him off like that.
Find it before I do.
Light knew something. Did anyone else know? Does the only way to find
the meaning behind this involve revealing information to Light?
There’s a third notebook.
Light had a notebook and Misa had a notebook, but when Misa became a
death Goddess, she gave her notebook to Higuchi. According to the rules
written in the Death Note, however, a Death God must have her own notebook
as well, that she may not give out to a human.
When L found the two notebooks at Yotsuba, only one contained names
written in English; therefore there must be a third notebook other than
the two that were destroyed: Light’s notebook. He must have hidden it someplace.
And if Light were to find it, L realizes, he will transform again.
Why would death Gods bring these notebooks to humans in the first place?
Why would they go through the trouble of writing out so many meticulously
organized rules in English just so that humans will be able to use them?
L decides that humans have, in fact, received Death Notes before, and wonders
how often this happened and how many recipients have taken full advantage
of their use.
“Light-kun, stop kicking me,” L mumbles as he blocks what would have
been another assault.
Light grits his teeth in agitation when he discovers he’s been at it
again and almost wishes he was sleeping in another room, where L couldn’t
see so easily how annoyed he was with the turn of events. He wouldn’t be
at all surprised were he to wake the next morning to find himself strapped
down and immobilized with an IV attached to one arm.
“Ryuuzaki,” he says quietly.
“Hmm?”
“I’d like a glass of water.”
L sits up in bed. Light seems to be coming to his senses.
“Well,” L yawns, “let’s go then.”
He takes Light into the kitchen and sits down at the table with him
after he’s poured himself a glass.
“I encourage you to eat something,” L says.
Light looks up from his water.
“Yeah, okay,” he replies.
He didn’t mean for L to begin fussing over him, but soon the older boy
is at the fridge fishing out assorted leftovers and mysteriously unlabeled
containers, piling them haphazardly on the counter.
How old is this stuff? Light wonders when he gazes at something
that appears to be one mustard container stuffed upside-down into a second
mustard container. It really isn’t helping what appetite he has, but he
forces himself to eat nevertheless.
What is it that L knows?
They return to bed without cleaning up the mess in the kitchen and without
brushing their teeth. Light falls asleep almost immediately, and wakes
up neither during L’s exasperation after Light has kicked him again nor
later into the night when, with a mixture of aggravation and amusement,
L remarks that Light also shouldn’t pull his hair.
To be continued...