Depravity

A/N: Beware! There be angst ahead! And fluffiness too…
If Eiri seems overly sweet or OOC, please keep in mind that I’ve established this is several years into their relationship and they’ve both matured quite a bit. Not to mention, it’s part of aftercare.
This chapter was co-written with AshCat.

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Shuichi hung up the phone and turned to Eiri. “Well, it’s done. Hiro and Suguru are reserved in a dungeon room, and we’re sponsoring them.”

Eiri looked at him and shook his head in disagreement. “You and that long-haired friend of yours are idiots. Do you really think Suguru is going to appreciate being tricked like that? ‘Oh gee! Sorry Suguru! I don’t know if this shit creeps you out or anything, and I’m not going to bother asking or taking your feelings into consideration, but since were here, bend over and let me spank you!’ That moron best friend of yours is going to lose his new little fuck toy if this is the way he behaves.”

The singer nodded solemnly. “I know, you’re right. And when I made the reservation, I told them the situation. They agreed to hold a vanilla room for them just in case Hiro changes his mind. I’m heading out to the club now. See you later, and don’t forget that we have plans for tomorrow night!!”

Shuichi kissed his lover passionately before bouncing out the front door enthusiastically. Eiri still had no idea where he got his energy! He thought on Shuichi’s words, ‘don’t forget we have plans for tomorrow night,’ and shivered. What did he get himself into? Ah well, it was his own fault, and he deserved whatever Shuichi had cooked up for them.

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Hiro and Shuichi sat at their table in the club. They’d all danced several hours, and were resting their swollen feet while enjoying some refreshments. Luckily, Shuichi had learned his lesson and rarely drank anything stronger than fruit punch or iced tea (and not the hard kind either). Suguru was off in the men’s room, so Shuichi broached the subject of their planned weekend.

He told the guitarist of his conversation with Eiri, and how he was re-thinking their plans from earlier. Hiro agreed with both the singer and his lover, and told Shuichi of the new plan.

“I’m going to tell him we’re going away to Depravity. I’m gonna explain exactly what the resort is all about, and ask him outright if he wants a vanilla room or a dungeon room. I’ll let him know that if he picks a dungeon room, it won’t mean he’ll have to try everything, but that I’d like to maybe try something. And if he picks a vanilla room, well, we’ll have all weekend. Maybe I’ll be able to convince him to try a scene with me anyway.”

Shuichi sighed happily. “Hiro, that’s great! So much better than tricking him. You know, the single most important thing in a Dominant/submissive relationship, more important than ANYTHING else, is trust. If you don’t have that, then nothing else works.”

Hiro smiled from ear to ear. “I guess that means you trust that bastard husband of yours then.” It was more of a statement than a question, and he didn’t expect the answer he received.

“Oh, let me tell you, that trust is a little stretched right now. I love him very much, and I can’t wait for our weekend together, but Eiri has a little ‘making up’ to do with me first. We have it planned for tomorrow night.” His eyes flashed a little anger as he spoke, which immediately disappeared.

“What do you mean? You PLAN when you two make up? And what did he do that requires him to make up with you in the first place?” Hiro was confused.

“Well, you see, this is a special situation. Eiri betrayed me on Sunday, at least, he kinda betrayed me. I could have put a stop to things, but I didn’t, so some of the responsibility lies on me as well. And in order for him to regain my trust in him as a Dom again, we set aside tomorrow night for something very special. Something we’ve never done before. Let me tell you what happened first.”

Shuichi began telling Hiro the story of their Sunday afternoon luncheon. He told of the ride there, the food they ate, Tatsuha reading his collar charm, and just as he got to the part where he headed to the bathroom, Suguru rejoined them at the table.

“Sorry! There was a line. Since WHEN is there a line at the men’s room??” Shuichi and Hiro laughed.

“What did you expect?” asked the singer. “You’re in a gay club after all!” All three of them continued laughing, and Shuichi picked up telling his story to Hiro again. Suguru knew that his cousin-in-law and his cousin-in-law-in-law (?) scened already, so there was no sense in being shy. He just asked Suguru to keep the conversation between only the three of them, which the keyboardist readily agreed to.

When Shuichi got to the point where he was carried to the car, both his friends had horrified looks on their faces.

“Holy shit Shu. Man, I tell you, if I were you, I would have DEMANDED that asshole do more than just drag Tatsuha out of the bathroom.” Hiro was visibly upset by Shuichi’s story. “AND I wouldn’t have allowed him to talk to you like that. What the fuck is wrong with your husband? Doesn’t he ever ONCE think to stand up for you when it doesn’t benefit him? What a fucking prick!”

Suguru added his opinion as well. “Seriously Shuichi (he stopped calling him Shindo-san when he started dating Hiro, at the singer’s request), not only did he put you in a horrible situation, he FORGOT about you. Isn’t it a Dom’s responsibility to be in control of a scene 100% of the time? Not to mention what Mika must think of the whole thing now.”

“You’re both right, and trust me, he knew he was in the wrong.”

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Eiri looked over at his sub. Shuichi had his head down in his hands and was breathing deep, but steadily. Okay, so maybe everything HADN’T gone exactly as he imagined. Tatsuha got by him and into the bathroom, Mika walked out on them, and Shuichi came in his pants because the vibrator was left on by mistake. The novelist chewed his bottom lip a bit as guilt and regret started to take hold of him. But just as fast as it started, he pushed it away. Shuichi was strong! He could take it, and after all, it didn’t really matter what his brother and sister thought to him anyway, so it shouldn’t matter to Shuichi anyway.

If that was true, how come that guilt and regret kept rearing their ugly heads then?

He reached over to touch Shuichi’s back and was surprised by the reaction. His smaller lover shook, moved away from him until he was pressed up against the door, and said, “Leave me alone.” His voice was rough and cracked.

“Shu-chan? What’s wrong?” Eiri’s brow was furrowed in worry, but his lover refused to answer him. The rest of the trip was made in complete silence.

When they pulled into their spot at home, Shuichi opened the door and rushed out before Eiri could say anything. The singer was in the house and stood in the living room waiting for Eiri to follow him.

Eiri stood in front of Shuichi and appraised his sub. He was in sub-drop again. That had to be what was wrong. He reached out to embrace him, and Shuichi took a step back.

Reaching up with both hands, Shuichi took the clasp on the training collar in hand and released it. Holding the collar out in front of him, he waited until Eiri took it before speaking.

“I hope you enjoyed yourself. That’s the last time you and I will ever scene. I’m going to take a nap, and want you to leave me alone.” Shuichi turned around and walked silently to their shared bedroom, closing the door behind him and locking it.

Eiri stood in the living room staring at the collar. In the year they’d been scening, Shuichi had never once removed his own collar. It was one of their cardinal rules – only Eiri could EVER remove the collar from his sub’s neck.

Okay, so Shuichi needed some time alone and was overly emotional from the scene. Eiri could appreciate that and forgive the collar blunder. After all, there were countless times he personally wanted nothing more than to be left alone. And when his young lover was feeling better, they’d talk it out and make up and do a few more scenes. There was no way that Shuichi meant what he said, right? He’d just blurted it out, and would feel better soon.

Right?

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Shuichi stood in their shared bedroom and lowered himself onto the soft comforter. It smelled like Eiri, which sent pains into his stomach. He hadn’t even bothered to change his clothes, and the cum in his slacks was drying and starting to get itchy. He didn’t care. He was betrayed.

The tears came to Shuichi’s eyes slowly. Why wasn’t he surprised? After all, when he’d first met Tatsuha, the young monk had pinned him to the floor and tried to rape him. All Eiri could say was, “I hope I’m not interrupting.” Once Tatsuha backed off, instead of coming to Shuichi’s defense, Eiri sat down and stuffed his face with strawberry shortcakes.

Here we were again. Tatsuha trying to molest him, and Eiri treating it like it was no big deal.

And Mika – so much for going over and spending time with his niece. There was no way she’d let him in her house to be with her child now. He’d made it clear that he was sexual deviant, and no one would allow that around their child.

But the worst? The absolute worst of all? It was that Eiri had broken out of their scene and forgotten to pay attention to him. He’d left the vibrator on and made him cum in his pants. In public. In front of Tatsuha. That vibrator was still inside him.

“Shuichi?” Eiri called to him through the door, breaking his train of thought. He ignored the novelist, and buried his head under the pillows.

“Shuichi, please open the door. We need to talk.” Hoping that if he continued to ignore the calls Eiri would go away, Shuichi tucked down deeper into the pillows and shut his eyes tight.

A few minutes passed and there were no more pleas from beyond the door. ‘Guess he really wanted to talk to me. He practically broke through the door.’ Shuichi’s sarcastic thoughts upset him more, and he scrunched up his face in anger.

He was only slightly surprised when he felt a hand on his back. He knew who it was, after all, there was only the two of them at home anyway. Eiri must have pulled out the key to the bedroom door lock and let himself in.

That hand moved in slow circles, gently comforting and relaxing Shuichi’s body. Despite everything, he still loved Eiri deeply, and after a few minutes he turned over to face his now ex-Dominant. Opening his mouth to speak, Eiri reached out and touched a finger to Shuichi’s lips, silencing him tenderly.

“Please, let me speak first.” Eiri took a deep breath and waited to start until Shuichi nodded in agreement. “I failed you this afternoon. I know exactly what I did wrong. I tried to deny it to myself in the car and in the living room, but to do so is unfair to you. You deserve better. I love you very deeply, so, I’m going to try to fix this situation.”

Eiri’s eyes were sad and glossy with unspilt tears. “I’ve already called Tatsuha and told him to be here tomorrow after you leave for work. I plan to have a much-needed talk with him. I’m going to let him know that his treatment of you is unacceptable, and that I have no problems with choosing you over him. I’ll let him know how it’s going to be from now on, and if he doesn’t accept it, I promise you that we will never see or speak with him again. He will never, ever lay hands on you, or even so much as ATTEMPT to lay hands on you, again.”

Taking a deep breath, Eiri continued. “I also spoke with Mika. I apologized for what I put you through in front of her. I took full responsibility for what happened. Once, long ago, she figured out that I really loved you. This was before I ever told it to you. I didn’t answer her at the time and let the conversation drop. Today, I told her that I love you before all others, and that I was going to regain your trust and love in me. She’s asked if you would go over and visit with her and the brat a bit. She said she’d call you next week, and hoped you’d come. She also promised to keep this from Tohma. She won't tell him what happened.”

Shuichi sat up and waited. There was one more thing that Eiri needed to address before he’d even consider forgiving all his blunders. After a moment, Eiri spoke again. “Finally, I am so deeply sorry for what happened with the vibrator. I let Tatsuha monopolize my attention at the expense of your safety. I ignored you when you obviously needed me, and I can’t even begin to imagine how humiliating that must have been for you. It was outside your boundaries, and had I paid attention to you, it would never have gone that far.”

Shuichi visibly shuddered as Eiri spoke. The experience replayed itself in his mind, and the tears started their course down his face once again. Eiri reached out with a tissue, drying his tears.

“So, here is what I propose. I don’t know if you’ll accept this or not, but I hope it’s at least a start.” Taking another deep breath, Eiri stated his idea. “In a couple of weeks, we’ll do another scene. During that scene…” the novelist paused for a moment, balling his hands into tight fists. His nervousness was almost thick enough to be seen. “During that scene, YOU will be the Dominant and I will be your submissive. You will be in charge, and the scene can be whatever you want it to be. Punishment, play, anything. I’ll allow for any scenario, as long as you don’t maim or kill me.”

Shuichi’s mouth dropped as he listened to Eiri speak. The novelist continued, “I really mean it when I say any scene. I will not deny you anything within legal reason.”

“You really mean it?” Shuichi looked at him suspiciously. “You’ll let me do anything? Tie you up, whip you, demean you, fuck you? Anything?” What a gift this was if it was true. Eiri was offering to trust Shuichi completely, something which the singer was never sure he had from his lover.

Taking both of Shuichi’s hands into his own, Eiri answered. “Anything. You want to hurt me physically or psychologically, you can. You want to fuck me, you can. You want to enact a rape scene, you can. Anything. And that’s why I want to do this sometime next week. I want you to take your time and plan this scene out from beginning to end. Go online and do some research. Call Depravity and set up time with one of their on-staff mentors.”

Shuichi’s mind wheeled at the possibilities. They’d done switch scenes before, but Eiri always switched back before it got too far. He’d also allowed the singer to be seme a few times, but NEVER during a scene. Eiri had made it clear that there would never come a day when he would let Shuichi fuck him during a scene. But here he was offering just that to him.

It was about control. It was always about control. By offering to let Shuichi Dominate him completely, the novelist was agreeing to hand over control to him. If Shuichi was going to do this, he’d need to understand the dynamics of control in a scene better. He couldn’t help but smile a little when he realized he was already planning what he was going to do, even though he hadn’t yet told Eiri he’d accepted.

Eiri saw the smile on his sub’s lips and felt some of the pain in him disappear. He’d been so afraid that he would lose Shuichi because of this. He couldn’t care less about their scening, that wasn’t what was important. He just prayed to Buddha that he wouldn’t lose Shuichi’s love and trust because of his own failure and stupidity. That smile gave him a tiny ray of hope.

“I don’t ever want to do a scene like that with you again. No more public scenes, not ever.” Shuichi’s eyes flashed his determination as he made his rule perfectly clear. “I want to know what happens between you and your brother tomorrow too. And as for me Dominating you? I accept.”

Eiri smiled. “But,” Shuichi continued, “I don’t want to scene any more today. I’m too tired, physically, but even more mentally. I don’t have it in me to reach for the 30 points any more.”

Agreeing immediately, Eiri held his arms open to his lover, and drew him into a tight embrace.

They stayed there, holding and being held, until Eiri realized his love had fallen asleep in his arms. He lowered Shuichi to the bed and began to undress him. Shuichi liked to sleep in the nude when he needed comforting. He’d press his body against Eiri’s and cuddle into the bed luxuriously, almost like a cat.

As his pants came off, Eiri had to peel them away slowly. The cum had dried inside and left a bit of a mess. Leaving the singer sleeping soundly, Eiri walked into the bathroom and brought out a basin of warm water, washcloth and a towel. He cleaned off Shuichi’s skin before slowly working out the vibrator.

Once that was done, he striped himself and climbed into the bed next to his sleeping boy. Drawing him into his arms, he settled in for a nap with him. He knew they wouldn’t scene again today, but he wanted to have at least one romantic interlude with Shuichi before the night ended. He needed to have it end on a good note for them both, so the memory of this day wasn’t completely tainted.

Shuichi stirred in his arms and his eyes began to open. “Shhhh, go to sleep Shu-chan.”

Shuichi obeyed and snuggled deep into Eiri’s body. They lay, holding each other close and tight for a few hours. Eiri woke several times, but waited patiently for Shuichi to come to. When he finally did, it was almost dark outside.

Shuichi stretched and smiled. He was being held. He LOVED waking up being held. The nap was cathartic for him, and he felt refreshed. He had no intention of scening any more today, but he did feel well enough to tackle the rest of the day with Eiri. The depression over the scene had dissipated. He’d trust Eiri to deal with Tatsuha tomorrow. He’d call Mika-san and thank her for the invitation, AND accept it. And he’d get to work on planning that switch scene for next week.

Eiri felt Shuichi stirring in his arms and woke up. “Feeling better?”

In response, Shuichi asked, “Still mean everything you said earlier?”

“Of course I do.” Eiri brushed some stray pink hairs out of Shuichi’s face.

“Then I feel better. Wanna watch TV or something?” The singer rolled over until he was lying on top of Eiri, he head resting on the novelist’s chest. As he lay there, a deep grumbling sounded in Eiri’s stomach. “Or maybe eat dinner?” he added, laughing.

Eiri grabbed the phone next to them and called in delivery from their favorite place. While waiting for it to arrive, Eiri re-broached the subject of the public scene. Shuichi seemed to be putting on a strong face, but what he possibly needed to do was deal with it directly.

They talked, Shuichi going over how everything made him feel. When he’d first entered the bathroom, it was kind of exciting to the singer. Taboo and scary at the same time. But once Tatsuha entered the room, it had all gone to hell.

Eiri offered to delete the photos without reviewing them first, to which Shuichi immediately replied, “You better not! After the hell I went through for those photos, you better fucking frame them!” Shuichi giggled and blushed, looking extremely cute. Oh, he knew how to melt down the author’s cold cold heart, which wasn’t really feeling all that cold to begin with.

They kissed and talked more until the doorbell rang announcing the arrival of their dinner. Eiri slipped on his yukata and asked Shuichi to stay in bed. Returning with a few bags of food, plates and chopsticks, the two men ate in bed, both feeling the need to stay inside their safe room, at least a little while longer.

Later that night, still in bed talking and enjoying each other’s company, Shuichi let Eiri know he was interested in heating things up a bit. The singer took a brief bathroom break before returning to the bed where they kissed passionately until they were both out of breath.

“Shu-chan, we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.” As Eiri offered this, Shuichi nibbled on his ear drawing out little moans of pleasure.

“Want to. I also want to trust you again, so…” Shuichi stood up and went to their dresser. He pulled a black silk scarf from the drawer and returned to the bed. They used the scarf to occasionally blindfold Shuichi as they made love. Although technically it could be considered a scene, neither of them treated it that way.

“Are you sure?” Eiri asked as he took the fabric from Shuichi’s hands.

The singer crawled into Eiri’s lap and kissed him deeply. “Very sure.”

The scarf was folded and tied around Shuichi’s eyes, blinding him to the world. Eiri lowered his lover to the bed and placed kisses on his neck and ears.

Shuichi loved the feel of the cool silk against his eyes. They still ached slightly from crying, and the scarf felt so soft and wonderful, chasing away the harshness of earlier.

Kisses began dotting his skin in random patterns. First on his neck, then his legs, then his stomach, then his hands. He never knew where his lover’s lips would land next. Eiri’s tongue swirled hot around his navel, dipping inside to draw out groans and sighs.

He continued kissing and teasing Shuichi with his mouth and hands, finally concentrating on Shuichi’s hard-on. Sucking and stroking, he brought Shuichi higher and higher until streams of hot liquid erupted into his mouth. It was a soft orgasm, Shuichi barely sighing as it was drawn from him.

“Shu-chan, what do you want to do now? If you’re too sore, we don’t have to…” Shuichi silenced him with his answer.

“I want to. I’m still loose from earlier, so please, I need you inside me. Now.”

Eiri climbed up his lover’s body and coated himself in lube. Lowering himself slowly, he slid deep inside Shuichi’s sheath, hissing at the warmth that surrounded him. They began to move together, rocking back and forth slowly. Eiri placed kisses all around Shuichi’s face and neck and whispered apologies in his ears.

Their movements never sped up. They kept the slow pace until the end. At the last moment, Eiri removed the blindfold from the singer’s eyes, and they held each other’s gazes as their orgasms moved through their bodies.

It was rare for Eiri to truly make love to Shuichi. It made the novelist feel vulnerable, but tonight, that vulnerability wasn’t there. Instead, he felt connected with his lover. They rolled over on their side, still linked together, and drifted off to sleep.

TBC...


A/N: In case you missed it earlier, this chapter was co-written with AshCat. XD

To my reviewers – WOW, so may new reviews over the past weekend!!! On gurabite, I’m up to almost 4300 hits, and AFF is running close behind! I never imagined…wow!

I figured you would all fit into one of two categories with the last chapter, but it actually became three categories. Some of you would laugh your ASSES off at what happened to Shuichi. Some of you would feel heartbroken or upset over what happened to Shuichi. The third category that I didn’t expect was those of you that first laughed, and then angsted for him. That was a surprise to me.

So let’s see:
* Thanks for the glomps! Hehehe!!!
* Me, sadistic? Well, maybe just a little. Trust me, there are a lot of people out there MUCH more sadistic than I am. Of course, once you see what I have planned for my next story (I’ll write it once Depravity is done), you might rank me right up there with the sadists of the world. It will NOT be for the weak of heart!
* I don’t know if Shu would ever want to look Tatsuha in the eye again after what happened. I wouldn’t in his shoes.

Finally, to Ashley Vulpix. She is graciously translating my story into Spanish and posting it on a couple of boards for me. The reviews have already starting coming in from her sites, THANK YOU for your generosity!!

OH, and on that photo that PL Nunn did for me, I’ve uploaded it to my live journal, where I’m also now uploading my story. My name over there is, you guessed it! ffpanda


NEXT CHAPTER: Hmmm, can you guess what’s coming up? Shuichi may be the ultimate uke/submissive, but he KNOW’S what it meant to dominate!!

See you in few days!

~ffpanda