Silent Acceptance

One His 16th Birthday


Go Jou's sales remained steady for the first month of the year, then declined steadily. It was time for Sawa to get started on a new work, but that proved hard to do right off the bat. Even with the “secret lives of AV stars” angle, nothing would stick long enough. He dashed off a few short stories, and when Makoto sent the first two to Taboo, Shimaru-san called Sawa directly to ask for a few more for a collection. Jumping at the chance to get his name out, he quickly finished three more in two weeks. Yukihito edited when he wasn't busy with school and private photography lessons, and he gave each one high marks. Makoto negotiated a decent advance for the finished project, which was named Hidden Camera.

The advance got Sawa thinking about the future. With that money and his savings, he had just about enough for a down payment on a house. He wanted one, somewhere in the suburbs, like the house he grew up in. One with several rooms and huge closets, perhaps one big enough for Yukihito to use as a darkroom. A big beautiful lawn that the younger man could mow on a hot summer afternoon, perhaps without a shirt...

“Nagisa?” Yukihito interrupted his thoughts as he sat in front of the laptop daydreaming.

Sawa tucked the house idea away for now. That could wait until the next novel is written and on its way to print. “Yes?”

Yukihito looked down for moment, then asked quietly. “You don't have anything big planned for my birthday, do you?”

Ah yes, Sawa thought with a long, slow smile. Yukihito would be turning 16 in a couple of weeks, ending their long wait. Sawa wanted to shout his happiness off the nearest cliff.

“Don't worry, Yukihito,” he replied, taking his hand and dragging it across his lips. “I've got nothing planned that will embarrass you at all.” As Yukihito swallowed loudly, Sawa pulled him closer until he was close enough to nuzzle his stomach. “Just you and me. It will be a very special day, won't it?” It took an inhuman will to keep him from pouncing the boy lately, but he was able to satisfy himself by being a tease.

Yukihito declined to answer, as he was sure that the only sounds that would come out would be gurgles. Sawa had been doing this for about a week, brushing against him as they passed each other in the hallway, holding his gaze for far longer than necessary, turning innocent strokes into shameless gropes. With that wonderful date coming up, Yukihito doubted his own self control under this kind of torture.


March

Yukihito closed the door behind him with a sigh. Thank goodness school was over. How on earth did Yukari and the others find out it was his birthday today?

Despite his protests, Sawa insisted that he attend school, merrily wishing him a good day as if this was just an ordinary late winter day. Random candies and other trinkets found their way into his shoe locker and desk, gifts from his many admires who were in full force since Suzuki-sensei's departure. Remembering his manners, he didn't toss them until he was well off school grounds.

By lunchtime, he was getting nervous and antsy. Sawa, who to his knowledge wasn't doing anything, could have easily called for him or picked him up early. He didn't want a big celebration, but damn it, Yukihito wanted to celebrate in some way.

And now that he was home, there no sign of Sawa in the living room or the kitchen or the office. Perhaps he was in the bedroom waiting for him, the sly fox.

The only thing greeting him in their bedroom was a freshly pressed suit on a freshly made bed and a note:


Yukihito,

Musashi, 6pm, cab fare is on the counter.
See you there!

Love, Nagisa
P.S. Trust me

Yukihito's eyebrow quirked in annoyance. What was his nutty uncle plotting? Musashi was a restaurant downtown, and that was all he knew of it. He'd never seen the suit before, black with a dark blue tie and handkerchief. At this point, all he could do was play along and trust Sawa. It was 4:30 now, just enough time for a shower.

********

Musashi was far nicer than Yukihito thought, and he was very glad that he was properly dressed for it. No need to have even more reason to be nervous.

He hoped Sawa was be waiting for him in the lobby, but he was nowhere to be found. For a moment, Yukihito was sure that he was in the wrong restaurant, or that Sawa wrote the wrong one on the note. As he was contemplating borrowing a phone to call Sawa, the maitre d' motioned him to his station.

“I've been told to look for a handsome young man in a blue tie. Sawa Yukihito, I presume?”

Yukihito nodded and was led into the restaurant proper. Properly dressed or not, the atmosphere was nearly suffocating in its exquisiteness. He felt so completely out of place. How in the world did Sawa afford this?

“We've reserved our most secluded table for you, at your companion's request,” the man explained. “Thank you for spending your birthday with us.”

Yukihito kept nodding, not paying any real attention to the maitre d's words, scanning the place for a hint of silver hair. He found it as they entered a little alcove, well hidden by live plants. Sawa beamed and rose from his seat, allowing Yukihito to see was he was wearing. Blue was the color of the evening, apparently, with his dark blue chesogam adorned with white and pink flowers, split up both sides, showing off a pair of black loose pants. It looked stunning on him.

Sawa walked to him, kissing his cheek softly. “Hello, Yukihito. You look so handsome.”

After being seated and left alone, they looked over the menus. It was mostly Western fare, unfamiliar to them both.

“I wanted to try something different,” Sawa explained. “What looks good to you?”

Yukihito was unsure of what exactly to get. He didn't wasn't to stray too far from what he was used to. “Anything with noodles. You know, you really didn't have to go this far for me.”

Sawa pulled his menu down and took his hand. “But I wanted to, Yukihito. I racked my head trying to decide what to give you today for weeks. Then it dawned on me. Our relationship isn't conventional by any stretch of the imagination, and you're aware of that. There are things that normal couples take for granted that we can't do. I mean, I won't be introducing you to my parents as my boyfriend anytime soon. You'd be hard pressed to explain to your classmates that you're involved with someone older. There are a lot of things that will make being together difficult. But I wanted to show you that I'm willing to be with you despite all of that. Also, there are some things we can do like normal couples. Case in point, tonight is our first date.” He pulled closer, lips so close to Yukihito's. “That is my gift to you. I selected this place not only for its food, but because they are discreet. Happy birthday, Yukihito.”

Yukihito accepted the offered kiss, mulling over Sawa's word in his head. A date? It never occurred to him that he was missing out by being with Sawa. They'd settled into their relationship so quickly and easily. Sawa went through a lot of trouble to set this date up, it would be the height of rudeness not to relax and accept it.

Besides, they had the rest of the evening to celebrate properly.

A waiter came to their table as they parted, ready to take their drink orders.

“Have you taken a look at our wine selection, ma'am?” he asked. Sawa blinked once and then realized that the waiter was referring to him. The thought made him bite his lip to hold in a giggle as he perused the wine list.

“I don't think we'll be indulging tonight,” he replied. Tonight was important, and he wanted to be in a sober state of mind for it.

**********

Sawa regretted his decision not to have any wine once dinner was over and they returned to the apartment. Dinner went along smoothly, with Yukihito taking a more masculine in the light of the waiter's referring to Sawa as a women, ordering for them from the English menu and opening the taxi door for him to get in and out. The food was delicious and he would recommend it to Makoto and his friends in ni-chome. At the apartment door, though, watching Yukihito fumble with his keys, he started to feel nervous. This was the moment he'd been waiting for, the moment they take their relationship to the next level, but he wasn't sure what that meant.

Yukihito felt even worse. His bravado puttered out on him as he slid the key into the keyhole and gave it a turn. What next? Where they going to actually do “it”? Who'd be on top?

Clang!

The keys dropped to the floor once Yukihito opened the door, the sound echoing off the walls of the empty apartment. Both their trains of thought promptly derailed as they looked at the keyring, then at each other, laughing with twin blushes staining their cheeks.

“Look at us,” Sawa giggled. “We're acting like we've never been close before.”

“We've not been this close before,” Yukihito replied. “Not yet, anyway.”

“It's ironic that I can write about this with no problem, but actually doing this gives me the shakes.”

Yukihito thought for a moment, closing the door behind them and removing his shoes. “So...how would you write us?”

Sawa promptly dropped the pump he'd pulled off his foot, the blush on his face increasing. Write about something like this? What a curious idea. “Well, first we'd kiss...”

Before he could finish, Yukihito cupped his face, stepping forward and gently kissing his lips. Grateful for the chance to not finish that sentence, Sawa returned the kiss with a happy moan, wrapping his arms around his young lover. It was a perfect start.

They manged to make it to the bedroom, exchanging kisses, trembling hands gliding over each other. Sawa pulled Yukihito's suit jacket down and off, tossing it to the side. It didn't land on the carpet before he set his busy fingers to work on the tie and buttons of the shirt keeping him from the pale expanse of chest that he longed to taste.

“Nagisa, careful,” Yukihito gasped, arching his back as Sawa lapped at his neck and shoulder blades. “This suit cost a lot, didn't it?”

Sawa grinned at him wolfishly before kissing his way down Yukihito's body, kneeling and lapping at his belly button. He didn't give one whit about ruining the suit. It had to pay the price for covering Yukihito so well. He'd been wanting to jump the boy since he saw him approach the table earlier that evening, he looked so good in it.

And now, he got to uncover his long awaited prize. The zipper slid down easily, the pants and underwear even more so, leaving Yukihito's arousal bare to his gaze and touch. Sawa moaned deeply before wrapping his lips around the sensitive tip, thrilling at the gasp of pleasure that earned.

Yukihito was lost, the spell of Sawa's kisses making him drunk with feeling, so much that he didn't notice his pants were around his ankles. He was too busy processing the wonderful feeling of Sawa's hot mouth taking him in, tongue sliding around with practiced grace. Sawa knew just what his body craved. He felt a single finger behind his balls, rubbing the space just before his entrance, and his legs began to tremble. This was really happening. It wasn't a dream.

Pulling away from the tasty treat in front of him, Sawa wrapped his arms around Yukihito's legs, keeping him from falling over. Touching him there seems like the right thing to do. As much as the thought of being taken turned him on, topping Yukihito was the only way to insure the boy an out, should he regret their coupling later on. Besides, with the way the bulge in his pants was noticeable though the chesogam, he didn't feel completely turned off by the idea.

“Would you like to get on the bed,” Sawa asked. “You'll be more comfortable there.”

Not trusting his voice, Yukihito nodded, stepping out of the pants once Sawa let go. He sat on the bed, unsure if he should be lying down on his stomach or on his back. He didn't know how Sawa was going to take him, and was entirely too embarrassed at the thought to ask.

Sawa took that moment to unbutton and slide the patterned garment off his body, laying it on a chair. While he didn't care all that much about the suit, the chesogam cost a pretty penny and would be a pain to have dry cleaned. Still clad in the loose pants, he approached the bed, his member tenting right in Yukihito's direction.

Much to Yukihito's surprise, Sawa dropped right back to his knees and continued the hot wet sucking motion between his legs with a great deal more gusto than before. Grabbing the sheets in both fists, Yukihito let a desperate cry ring from his mouth as he fell back on his back, his hips rocking forward in shallow pumps. Sawa had gotten so good at pleasing him with his mouth that it always took his breath away.

Sawa took advantage of his new position to place his exploring finger right back on the sensitive spot it was before. They've touch each other in the same spot occasionally during play, but never took it any further. Now was the time. He lightly circled the puckered entrance with the tip of his finger, carefully watching for any sign of discomfort.

Eyes closed, mouth opening in a series of delicious little gasps, face and chest flushing pink. Yukihito had the most open and honest expressions Sawa had ever seen. Even if he didn't say a single word the rest of the night, Sawa would have no problem understanding what was going on with him. His face right now urged Sawa to continue.

Yukihito's hazel eyes flew open as he felt that slender digit push its way inside to the first knuckle. The sudden friction was a mild discomfort, dry against dry. At his shocked expression and whimper, Sawa pulled away, looking apologetic.

“I'm sorry, I should have used some lube first.” Sawa's eyes scanned the bedstand, looking for the familiar bottle. Sawa introduced Yukihito to its use shortly after they became intimate, and they considered it good, if not messy, fun. For this act, it would be a necessity, a fact Sawa kicked himself for forgetting. The quicker he rectified this situation, the sooner he could get back to discovering more of that tight fervid hole.

While Sawa went for the bottle, Yukihito scooted his body until his head was resting on the pillows, readily welcoming the older man into his arms with a soft kiss. He craved that sweet familiarity above his waist as he prepared to experience something new below it.

Sawa held him close with one arm as he probed once more, his finger slick with the proper substance. It slid in much easier, and Yukihito responded by trembling more and clutching his shoulders. His face was still accepting of the contact, and Sawa pushed more, moaning his desire. The mere thought of pushing his cock into that tight space nearly set him off.

For a few moments, that was all he did, sliding his finger in and out, getting Yukihito accustomed to the sensation, all while plundering his petal soft lips. They were become smeared with the lipstick he was wearing, but they both barely noticed and cared. Once Yukihito started to whimper and rub against him, Sawa knew it was time to step it up a bit and removed his finger. This would require more lubrication

Yukihito made himself remain still as Sawa nudged two fingers at his entrance. The sensation was starting to become so intense and close to painful.

“You have to relax,” Sawa whispered in his ear. “It'll hurt a lot more if you don't.” He was pleased when Yukihito took a deep breath and he felt the grip around his fingers give, allowing him to slip inside slowly and carefully. He nearly called him a “Good boy”, but didn't want to ruin the moment by reminding him of their age difference.

It didn't take very long for Yukihito to get use to two fingers. As a matter of fact, he felt ready for the real thing and made his wishes obvious, reaching down to rub the soft fabric covering Sawa's cock. Sawa shuddered, his eyelids falling over his eyes briefly before fixing Yukihito with a hungry look.

“I...I want,” Yukihito began to say, his mouth dry and his words cracking. His hand, however, pumped more insistently.

Sawa moaned, bucking his own hips. Even in this small instance, Yukihito was taking charge, telling him when he was ready, and that inflamed Sawa's passions all the more. As they worked together to get his pants off, he prayed that he'd be able to control himself just a little while longer. It wouldn't be right to be so gentle during foreplay and then simply plow in.

Yukihito shyly started to roll over, but Sawa stopped him with a hand on one slim hip. “Wait, I want to look at you.”

Eyes locked, Yukihito rolled back onto his back, legs lifted while Sawa quickly coated himself. With one hand, he aimed himself careful at the boy's entrance, leaning over his body. Willing Yukihito to relax, he began to push, slow, with each second feeling far longer, breaking eye contact to watch the head go in.

Yukihito hissed slightly, reminding himself not to tense up as something far longer and thicker pushed its way inside. He was frightened at the pain, uncomfortable at the stretchy feeling, but he knew, or could guess from the tons of sex scenes he had read up to now, that it would get better. At least, that was what he was hoping.

The snug fit around his cock made Sawa gasp. He had to stop halfway or he was sure to go insane, and if simply being inside Yukihito was anguish, moving was beyond torture. Watching the beautiful face below him relax as he moved was enough encouragement to keep moving, loudly expelling a breath he didn't even know he was holding in. As he moved, he pushed more of himself inside, more and more until he was fully impaling his little lover with each thrust, and said little lover wasn't complaining a bit. From the breathy pants and the hands tightly grabbing his upper arms, he could hazard a guess that Yukihito was enjoying himself just as much as he was.

So this is what is feels like, wondered Yukihito absently. And this is why people want is over and over again. His legs hooked around Sawa's waist, his hips moved in time to meet Sawa's and his voice was nearly gone from his moans, groans, and cries. Oh God was this worth the wait. He looked at Sawa's face, sweaty with his eyes shut in concentration. The trembling muscles under his hands showed Yukihito that either he was still holding back or that he was close to completion. Either way, Yukihito wanted him to let go, to give him all of what they'd been wanting. With a little smirk, he flexed the muscles of his rear, tightening his hole considerably.

The effect was perfect. Sawa's eyes opened, silver orbs searching his face just before his release hit him. Yelling, cursing, Sawa shuddered above him while his member shot wet warm deep inside of him. It was the sexiest sight Yukihito had seen, and much to his surprise, he was coming as well, making his already worn voice cry out once more. Both bodies writhed against the other, their cries echoing off the bedroom walls as Sawa leaned forward to bury his face in the crook of Yukihito's neck.

A few moments passed before they could speak. “Wow.” Sawa gasped, not moving, his limbs refusing to work.

“I love you,” Yukihito whispered. It wasn't often that he said it, but he felt that it would be appropriate at the moment. Besides, it was all his mind could think of right then.

Sawa chuckled, his breath warm on Yukihito's fevered skin. “I love you too, dear. I'll get us cleaned up in a minute, but right now...”

Yukihito wrapped his arms around his lover, stroking the damp silver locks. Yes, he was sticky and sweaty, and Sawa was a little heavy and was still within him, but he could stand it. This was the best birthday he would ever have.

And besides, who said that they were done?



Seven years later

Nagisa Sawa sat at the armoire, removing his earrings. This birthday was a success. Yukihito insisted, in his own unique way, to drive everyone to dinner in his new car. Katou wondered outloud just why did Yukihito start to blush when Sawa directed him to Musashi, and that was enough to make Sawa giggle for the rest of the evening. The film was warmly received, and other directors were wondering just how to get Yukihito to work on their new projects.

No way, Sawa thought. He's mine, talent and all.

Yukihito walked out of the shower, one towel around his waist and the another drying his hair. From were he was sitting, Sawa could look in the mirror and truly appreciate the handsome form of his lover. He had grown up so well, now even taller than he was, and more than eager to take charge where it counted the most.

“Are you coming to bed?” The boy, now man, asked. He stood behind Sawa, leaning over and unfastening his necklace. With a great deal of care, he removed it and placed the string of pearls on the armoire in right in front of Sawa, all while nuzzling the okama's neck in that way that he knew would just make him melt.

“Of course,” Sawa gasped, melting right on cue. Now came his favorite part of celebrating Yukihito's birthday. As he was pulled up, he caught a glimpse of the same picture he rescued from storage earlier that evening, the one of Yukihito reading his first novel. It was currently propped up against a frame containing a shot of them both, gazing into each other's eyes, hands intertwined, wearing similar rings from only a few months ago.

Some memories deserved to be kept close, if only to remind one of the memories yet to come.

fin


Author's Notes: And that, my friends, is that. Yay! Thank you so much for joining me on this journey into their lives. I really did enjoy writing this and I'm so glad that you all enjoyed reading it as well.

btw, if you want to know when I'm working on my next fic (It may be HaruDaki, it may not), I have an LJ account dedicated to my works as well. I post nothing here but my fics, so you won't be flooded by my personal thoughts and such (I've my own personal journal for that!). The URL is http://jailaheyn-fics.livejournal.com/

Once again, thank you!

Some memories deserved to be kept close, if only to remind one of the memories yet to come.