Honour, Duty, or Love?

Title: Honour, Duty or Love?
Author: JadeHeart
Located/Archived: If anyone would like it, please ask me first
Fandom: Saiyuki
Warnings: M/M, sexual situations

Author’s Note: This is the fifth of eight alternate endings for this story, each featuring a different pairing.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creators of ‘Saiyuki’, nor am I making any profits


-oOo-

Alternate Ending 5 – Gojyo & Hakkai


“Going out somewhere?” Sanzo said from the darkness as Hakkai reached the door with soft steps.

Hakkai paused and looked across, only just able to make out the form lying on the other bed in the darkened room.

“It’s such a nice night,” he said easily with a smile though he was sure Sanzo wouldn’t be able to see it. It was more habit than anything else. “I couldn’t sleep anyway so I thought a walk might help. I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

“Whatever,” was Sanzo’s uninterested reply. Hakkai could see him roll over and began to turn the door handle.

“Just be sure that the two of you are ready to leave in the morning or I’ll leave you behind.”

Hakkai froze in place, back to the room, then as there was nothing else to say, stepped through the door, closing it quietly behind him. He traversed the dimly lit corridors of the inn, trying to ignore the thoughts that Sanzo’s last comment put into his mind as he lightly trod down the stairs. When he reached the ground floor he immediately noticed that he wasn’t alone, another figure sitting silently in the otherwise empty dining room.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” he queried, drawing nearer.

Gojyo turned and looked up at him. “Goku’s snores keeping me awake more like it,” he replied with a snort. “I was thinking of hitting the town for a little late night action.” He winked at Hakkai. “Medicinal purposes only. Just to tire myself out, you know.”

Hakkai’s false smile slipped into place in response. The thought of Gojyo out carousing and sleeping with strange women bothered him, though why it bothered him more tonight than other times he wasn’t sure. Perhaps it was because of what Sanzo had said.

“I see,” he finally said, turning away. “Well, don't let me hold you up.” He had taken only one step when Gojyo spoke again.

“Hey, Hakkai?”

“Yes?” He turned his head to look over his shoulder. Gojyo was sitting in the same position, arms hanging loosely over the back of his chair, head tilted back, knees splayed, cigarette dangling from his lips as he stared at the ceiling.

“What do you think makes you want someone that you know you can never have?”

“I’m not sure I know what you mean,” Hakkai turned fully around.

“If I can walk out this door and know I can easily pick up a woman for the night, why wouldn’t I do that when the other choice is to be alone wanting someone I can’t have?” Gojyo now tipped his head to one side and looked directly at Hakkai.

Hakkai thought about it for a moment as Gojyo seemed quite serious in his question which was unusual in itself. He knew that Gojyo wasn’t just boasting in his assessment. Hakkai had seen him pick up women for many years and it was exactly that easy for him, his unusual looks enough to entice those of the female persuasion like moths to a flame. So Gojyo rarely wanted for partners. They may have not been lasting relationships but that had never seemed to be what Gojyo had been looking for either so it had seemed to suit him fine.

“I think,” he said slowly. “It is seeking something in having that other person that you believe you can’t find elsewhere.”

“Some sort of salvation, you think?” Gojyo said slowly, pondering.

“Perhaps,” Hakkai replied. He remembered how he had felt with Kanan. Before being with her, he had been cold and aloof even as a child. He had found the world so uninteresting, seeing it as nothing more than a place to be; it wasn’t until he was with her that he learnt that everything could be different. She had made him feel better about the world and about himself. When she smiled it had made him want to smile also, just to please her. He had let himself feel all those positive emotions that had previously been alien to him; feelings of happiness, love, security, hope. He’d had dreams back then; the two of them had. Kanan had shown him another future, making him believe that he was a good person and one who deserved to be loved and he had slowly come to believe her. She truly had been his salvation.

And yet, she had also been his damnation. Not for having been his sister and loving him, but for the death he had delivered to save her for he could not bear to lose her. For he had known that without her he had nothing. All his feelings, any emotions he had, belonged to her and her alone and if she were gone he knew he would be completely empty inside.

Yet it hadn’t stopped there as he had thought. He hadn’t become empty as he had believed at all. Anger, that cold killing rage, those were the first emotions he had felt that were truly his own. It had been somewhat of a revelation even to himself that he could feel that, welling up from the dark depths of his soul. Those feelings were entirely his own – frighteningly so. He often wondered what Kanan would have thought of him if she had known really what he was capable of. No doubt she would have been terribly disappointed in him.

“So,” Gojyo’s voice dragged him back to the present, away from those dark memories. “If I get this person I’ll be saved, huh?”

“Or damned.”

“Damned?” Gojyo looked at him again and then stubbed his cigarette out with a small bark of laughter. “I already know about that!” he said, grinning at Hakkai, his red eyes glinting with cold mirth. “How could a demon half-breed not know about being damned? You have your nose rubbed in it every day of your life.”

“Your birth doesn’t damn you,” Hakkai stated calmly.

“Others would beg to differ.”

“Then whose opinion counts more to you?” Hakkai questioned.

Gojyo looked at him in silence for a moment then chuckled deeply. “Yeah, that’s what it all comes down to, doesn’t it?”

Hakkai smiled at him, “Usually.”

There was silence again between them and Hakkai wondered if he should now leave when Gojyo spoke again.

“So if I’ve got the damned covered - at least in other people’s eyes,” he clarified before Hakkai could refute him again. “How do I go about getting the salvation?”

“Well, that’s up to you to seek it,” Hakkai replied.

“And if it’s right in front of you?” Gojyo’s low voice easily crossed the distance between them as he stared intently at Hakkai.

That look pierced directly through Hakkai’s heart, stabbing through his emotional barricades and straight to the centre of his soul. He felt his pulse begin to race, pressure building in his temples as strange feelings began stirring.

The naked desire that was clearly visible in Gojyo’s eyes was intoxicating, drawing him in like a moth to a flame, enticing him, beckoning, tempting. He tried to gain his usual inner balance, to ignore it all as he had always done, to pretend that none of it was happening – but he failed. All the emotions that Hakkai usually kept carefully buried, never coming to the surface, now bubbled up within him; all the irritation and jealousy at seeing Gojyo with other women, all the worry and concerns whenever Gojyo was in danger. Everything that he had felt and suppressed from the moment that Gojyo had found him in the rain, a bloody and broken wreck both physically, mentally and emotionally and slowly nursed him back to be a semblance of a human being once more now burst through and overwhelmed him.

When Gojyo had been trapped with Sanzo by the zombies only a few days ago Hakkai had been worried sick at that time. He had found it was becoming more and more difficult to maintain his normal calm where Gojyo was concerned. Fears for his safety, fear of losing someone who was important to him again often drove his rationality aside and he wondered when it would make him lose control completely. It was a worry that was beginning to prey on his mind and made him feel uneasy.

Yet, knowing that couldn’t stop him from still feeling that way. So when Kougaiji had given him the perfect opportunity to obliterate all the zombies, thus removing the threat to Gojyo, he had been more than happy to take it.

His body had tingled as their combined power had merged, a sense of anticipation as the spell’s power had increased; building, growing, churning in the palm of his hand, twisting as it sought to escape the confines he and Kougaiji wrapped it in. When he had finally released that devastating power it had been done with the same sense of cold satisfaction that he had felt after destroying the Crow clan; the knowledge that it would be completely over. That feeling of satisfaction wasn’t just about finding an effective means to destroy the menace; it was knowing he had destroyed them with his own hands. He still had that sin buried deep within him; that power and willingness to do anything for the person most important to him.

It was then that he had been forced to acknowledge that Gojyo had become exactly that and probably had been for some time. Trying to imagine Gojyo not being in his life in some way was simply unthinkable. In fact it made his insides churn so badly it made him feel like he would be sick. Yet, even with all that, he still didn’t know if he could openly acknowledge Gojyo as such. Could he truly step past all the barriers he had placed around his heart and soul and accept this person before him?

He took a shuddering breath and released it slowly, keeping his eyes locked with Gojyo’s all this time. His entire body felt like it was shaking, trying to break him apart and he felt a strange feeling clawing at his insides. Was this fear, he wondered. Was that all that was stopping him? He had never given into fear before so why should he do so now?

“Then,” Hakkai finally answered; Gojyo had kept silent as he had been thinking. “You should reach out your hand to them.”

“Will they take it?” Gojyo asked intently.

“Until you do so you will never know. Is it better to have tried or to forever wonder of what could be?” Hakkai knew he was speaking more for himself than Gojyo now, an admonishment to his own denial of his feelings and hesitation.

They stared at each other; red and green eyes staring deeply into each other. Slowly Gojyo lifted one arm, stretching it out before him towards Hakkai.

Hakkai watched this motion, unmoving. His own inner caution and wariness seemed to immobilise him, freezing him in place.

Gojyo’s hand was fully extended now and Hakkai gazed down at it. The fingers were long and he could see the calluses on the palm from Gojyo’s constant use of his shakujou. His palm was a pale pink shade, unlike the tanned skin on the rest of Gojyo’s body that Hakkai already knew well.

Slowly Hakkai forced himself to lift one hand and reach toward that steady hand. Gojyo didn’t move, just watching him. All Hakkai’s senses were telling him to withdraw, warnings of danger ringing although it was not the sort of danger signals he experienced in a fight. This was far deadlier because the wound inflicted would be directly to his heart and inevitably fatal, not just to himself but perhaps Gojyo also.

Still he pushed past that, trying to quell the fears. He was surprised to see his hand trembling, shaking, in complete contrast to Gojyo’s steady one.

Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity he felt his finger tips brush against Gojyo’s, felt that warmth as his hand slid further to cover the palm. Slowly Gojyo’s fingers curled around his, gripping him gently, holding him as lightly as you would a new born chick.

A soft smile crossed Gojyo’s face as he now exerted a little pressure, coaxing Hakkai to step closer which he did, until he stood between Gojyo’s knees.

Gojyo gazed up into his face. “Are you sure?” he asked, making no other move to touch Hakkai.

Hakkia tightened his grip on Gojyo’s hand although the trembling still had not stopped. “If not now then it will be never,” he answered honestly, knowing full well that would be the case. They either took this step now at this time, or walk away forever and forget about it. He now knew he didn’t want that scenario to occur.

“In that case,” Gojyo said, tugging at Hakkai’s hand so he leant down. “Let’s not waste any more time.”

“Perhaps we should…,” Hakkai murmured just before his lips caressed Gojyo’s.

“Shh,” Gojyo breathed, his hot breath brushing over Hakkai’s face. “You know, you talk too much,” and with that he covered Hakkai’s mouth in a deep kiss.

Hakkai found he had automatically inhaled at the contact and now held his breath. As Gojyo continued to kiss him thoroughly he eventually had no choice but to finally exhale or face the consequences of passing out. An ignominious position that he had no wish to be in. He breathed into Gojyo’s open mouth, feeling it sucked away as though Gojyo was trying to swallow his very soul.

Gojyo’s tongue plundered his mouth, tracing over the roof, running over his teeth, twining around his own tongue. Hakkai found himself admiring the dexterity Gojyo’s tongue was displaying. No wonder the ladies enjoyed their time with the half-breed.

The spurt of jealousy that hit him suddenly made Hakkai reach up and thread his other hand into the silky red strands of Gojyo’s hair, holding his head in place. He would not allow anyone else to share this man again, he thought fiercely, this time mirroring Gojyo’s actions and letting his own tongue flick forward to delver into Gojyo’s open and willing mouth.

Gojyo pulled back, breaking the kiss and looked up at Hakkai. “Hey, Hakkai,” he said with a quizzical look in his eyes. “Easy there. I’m getting the feeling that I’m about to be eaten.”

Although Gojyo said this with a touch of humour in his voice it didn’t soothe Hakkai’s possessive thoughts. He felt his vision narrow, his focus becoming sharper and all centred on Gojyo.

“Eaten, you say?” he said softly, fingers sinuously sliding through Gojyo’s hair as he stared into those red eyes, keeping them locked on him. “Why don’t we try that, hmm?”

Hakkai saw the faint furrowing of Gojyo’s brow as he tried to fathom what Hakkai was meaning. Then his eyes widened in surprise as Hakkai dropped to his knees, hands sliding free from Gojyo’s grip and head, instead coming to rest directly on his crotch.

Hakkai gazed up at Gojyo, feeling amused by the startled look on his partner’s face, even as his hands deftly undid the fastenings of Gojyo’s trousers, releasing the half rigid cock.

“I’m feeling more than up for some supper,” Hakkai murmured as he dropped his head and ran the tip of his tongue over the slit, before circling the head.

Gojyo moaned deeply, hands coming up to rest on Hakkai’s shoulders, who could feel the shudder than ran through his lover’s body through his hands resting on Gojyo’s thighs.

He repeated the gesture before drawing his tongue down the length, holding the cock upright with one hand. As he ran down the length he could feel it hardening further in his grip, filling out. Reaching the base, the pubic hair brushing against his lips and chin, he nibbled gently then reversed his action, running upwards towards the head once more as Gojyo moaned again, fingers clenching at Hakkai’s shirt.

Hakkai licked over the slit once more, this time rewarded by the salty taste on the tip as he lapped up the drops of precum. Gojyo’s legs had parted further, allowing him to shuffle forward so he comfortably knelt between them. In this pose he could raise himself up so he could position his mouth directly over the top of Gojyo’s erection.

He placed a light kiss on the tip, tasting the saltiness again, before opening his mouth to allow his lips to encircle the tip and then slowly begin to slide downwards. Gojyo let out a hoarse shout, hips bucking upwards as he gripped Hakkai hard. Hakkai could feel every muscle in Gojyo’s body tighten then relax as he let his lips travel down further.

Gojyo’s panting filled the air around them, like rhythmic music. Hakkai moved his head upwards, leaving a moist trail behind. He didn’t remove his lips from around the tip, remaining circled there, instead flicking his tongue out to tease the sensitive joining of flesh on the underside of the head. Gojyo shuddered, thrusting again into Hakkai’s mouth.

Hakkai smiled around the cock in his mouth. Gojyo may have been good at sex but Hakkai felt it was time to show him just what it felt like to be on the receiving end. He began to slowly mouth fuck Gojyo, using lips and tongue to tease him, increasing his pleasure moment by moment. Hakkai used all his self-control in relaxing his throat muscles, allowing him to swallow Gojyo deeper with every downward motion.

He then began to suck Gojyo in earnest, using lips and hand to fondle testicles and tease the perineum below. Gojyo was squirming in his seat, unable to remain still, his breathy moans and grunts as he thrust into Hakkai’s moist mouth testament of his growing excitement.

Hakkai continued, slipping one finger into his mouth beside Gojyo’s cock to moisten it completely before sliding it back down to follow the taut line of skin from his sac then upwards between Gojyo’s buttocks. When he felt that small indentation he didn’t hesitate to push inwards, letting his finger slide past the tight skin and suddenly into warm depths.

Gojyo jerked in shock, the shout he let out one of complete surprise. Hakkai felt Gojyo’s hands tighten, force building behind them as though he was about to push him away. Hakkai lightly let his teeth graze over the cock in his mouth, gently reminding the other man not to do anything untoward or he would be the one to suffer the unpleasant consequences.

He felt Gojyo hesitate, reading Hakkai’s message loud and clear and then the tension in his hands eased. Hakkai deep throated him as a reward, smiling to himself as Gojyo moaned deeply in response.

Hakkai now began to pump his finger within Gojyo’s body, curling it to seek out that place that he knew was there. The indication he had found it was when Gojyo jerked, gasped loudly, and his body stiffened. Hakkai could feel the cock in his mouth harden even further.

Having found the spot, Hakkai now continued to stimulate it, keeping up an unrelenting pressure. Gojyo was writhing in his chair, so much so that Hakkai was beginning to be concerned that he would fall. It was not his intention to cause Gojyo to injure himself so he guessed it was probably best if he brought this to a speedy close, no matter how pleasurable it was.

Concentrating, he carefully focused his chi powers into his finger, the one stimulating Gojyo’s prostate. He wasn’t intending any harm, what he was doing was creating a tendril of power that gave further heat and pressure against that single location. It wasn’t easy to do and took all Hakkai’s control. However it obviously worked because Gojyo’s breathing became more ragged as his body began to shake.

“Hak…kai!” he gasped out, hands gripping Hakkai’s head as he continued to suck on Gojyo’s cock.

“Pull…off,” he moaned, tugging weakly at Hakkai’s hair even as his body shuddered again. Despite saying this his legs pressed inwards around Hakkai’s body as though caging him. Hakkai could feel those lean leg muscles tensed against his sides.

“I’m gonna cum!” Gojyo exclaimed, trying once more to unsuccessfully draw Hakkai away.

“Hakkai!’ he shouted this time, and Hakkai felt Gojyo thrust upwards one last time as his cock pulsed, hot cum filling his mouth, sliding down his throat as he swallowed, even as a small trickle slid from the corner of his mouth. At the same time he felt Gojyo’s hot channel tighten around his finger, rippling around that digit and causing Hakkai to shiver delightfully also.

As he sucked the last of Gojyo’s climax away, he slid his lips upwards, using his tongue to clean the final vestiges of cum away from the tip, even as he slowly withdrew his hand from Gojyo’s rear, releasing both front and back at the same time.

Gojyo shuddered at this withdrawal, a weak gasp falling from his lips. Hakkai looked up at him, tongue sliding out unconsciously to lick his lips clean of the last of Gojyo’s seed. Gojyo met his eyes, still looking a little glazed and definitely looking sated.

“Hell, Hakkai,” he murmured, reaching out a hand to lightly touch Hakkai’s cheek. “Give a guy some warning, why don’t you?”

Hakkai smiled slowly at him. “That would seem to defeat the purpose wouldn’t you think?” he said, sitting back on his heels.

“Ha!” Gojyo answered, reaching up his other hand to push his hair back from his sweaty brow. He then reached out and cupped Hakkai’s face with both hands, leaning down so their faces were only centimeters apart.

“That was one hell of a show you just put on,” he whispered, kissing Hakkai deeply.

Hakkai felt Gojyo’s tongue slide around the inside of his mouth knowing that he would be tasting himself as he did this. When Gojyo drew back he remained staring down at Hakkai.

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s get out of here.”

Gojyo released Hakkai’s face, reaching down to grab one hand and standing, pulling so Hakkai had no choice but to get to his feet also. He followed for only a couple of steps when he halted, forcing Gojyo to stop also.

“Where are we going?” he asked, cocking his head to one side.

Gojyo tugged on his hand, trying to coax him into moving. “This way,” he said as finally Hakkai began walking again. “We can’t exactly go back to our rooms,” he continued, “Not with the monkey in mine and the prissy monk in yours.” Gojyo threw a grin at Hakkai over his shoulder, an evil glint in his red eyes. “Although I would just love to see how his priestliness handled us going at it in the bed next to him. I bet he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from jerking off!”

“Ah, I’m not really about voyeurism,” Hakkai said mildly.

“No?” Gojyo queried. “Pity,” was all he added.

Hakkai immediately had a vision of watching Gojyo being fucked and felt himself harden. It’s not that he wanted anyone else to be with Gojyo but still the idea of being able to just watch in close quarters every nuance of Gojyo’s body language during such an act did seem to have an appeal he hadn’t previously considered. Perhaps he had a bit of the voyeur in him after all.

He looked at the tall back before him. Had Gojyo done exactly that before he wondered. Had the half breed once watched his lover fuck someone else, or vice versa? Hakkai shivered a little. It was a little too much for him to handle at the moment.

By this time Gojyo had reached a door at the back of the dining room, opening it and leading Hakkai inside.

“Where are we?” Hakkai asked as there was no light.

“Hold on a sec,” Gojyo replied in the darkness.

A suddenly flare of light showed Gojyo holding his cigarette lighter and leaning over a candle set on a saucer on a small table. As the wick caught Gojyo flicked closed his lighter, turning to close the door they had come through.

“This is just a spare room that the bar staff uses when they have a busy night so they can take turns grabbing a break,” Gojyo explained. “The new kid here said he’d used it a few times when he’d been lucky enough to score for the night.”

“Oh,” Hakkai replied, now noticing the narrow bed by the wall. He tried not to imagine why Gojyo would have been having such a conversation with relative strangers. Had it been that Gojyo had already ‘borrowed’ the use of the room? Hakkai felt himself go cold all over at the thought of him having been here with some woman.

Warm arms suddenly wrapped tightly around him pulling him back against a hard body.

“Hey,” Gojyo whispered in his ear. “Don’t go getting any ideas.”

“What ideas would that be?” Hakkai murmured, still standing rather stiffly in the embrace.

Gojyo turned him around, keeping his hands on Hakkai’s shoulders and staring into his eyes.

“I’ve never brought anyone here,” he said clearly, not breaking their locked gaze. “This is the only time, now with you”

Hakkai maintained their gaze trying to decide if he could believe Gojyo or not. Gojyo just shook his head with a crooked smile then reached out and tugged at Hakkai’s ear lightly, fingers bushing against the limiters clasped there, sending a shiver of fear and excitement through Hakkai.

“You are so gods damn paranoid,” Gojyo remarked as he released Hakkai and turned back to the door.

For a moment Hakkai thought Gojyo intended to walk back out and a flash of fear rushed through him.

“Don’t…” he began, one hand reaching out.

“What?” Gojyo said, turning his head. He gazed at Hakkai standing there, noting the out stretched hand. A warm smile spread over his face as he shook his head slowly again.

“It’s okay,” he said softly and Hakkai heard the click as Gojyo flipped the lock into place before walking back to him. He reached out and cupped Hakkai’s face again. “You don’t have to worry. I’m not going anywhere.” He pulled Hakkai into a deep kiss, and they remained like that for some time.

Hakkai allowed himself to lean into that kiss, allowed himself to give in to the sensations it created within his body. He felt his erection grow again. He’d been rock hard when he’d sucked Gojyo off earlier but he had refused to come at that time, despite it taking all his self control to prevent himself from doing so when Gojyo had climaxed. Since then his erection had flagged a little, subsiding, but now it was slowly growing once more.

He felt Gojyo’s hand slide from his face, fingers trailing down his neck, sliding over the cloth of his shirt to cup over his groin. He jerked at the unfamiliar contact but Gojyo’s other hand kept him captive so he couldn’t back away.

Gently, Gojyo began to rub him through his trousers and he moaned into Gojyo’s mouth, sagging a little against the other’s long body. Slender fingers easily traced the outline of his now hard cock, pressing against the denim of his jeans.

Gojyo broke the kiss and dropped his head to press a kiss against Hakkai’s neck, even as he threaded his fingers through the back of his head, tangling in his hair so he tugged his head back further. As Hakkai’s neck stretched backwards, he felt Gojyo’s lips kiss along its length, tongue flicking out to slide sinuously along the exposed flesh. Sharp teeth nipped at the soft underside of his jaw, making him quiver as tiny jolts of electricity shot through his nerve endings.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” Gojyo whispered against his skin making him shudder.

Gojyo’s hand ceased its motion on his cock, moving now to rest on the bare flesh of the open neck of his shirt. He could feel those deft fingers begin to undo the top most button before moving onto the next and so on. He sucked in his breath as he felt those cool fingers brush against the long jagged scar that marred his abdomen. Even now the phantom pain was still there, a constant reminder of what he had done; as if the limiters weren’t enough. He may have become far more comfortable in showing this mark to his traveling companions but he had never allowed anyone else to touch it. Now, feeling those long fingers ghosting over it made him shiver in response, tensing.

Gojyo continued on his downward journey until all the buttons were undone, then using both hands he pushed the shirt from Hakkai’s shoulders, sliding it slowly down his arms, his lips continuing to graze over the tender flesh of his neck. As his arms became unimpeded Hakkai reached out and grasped the bottom of Gojyo’s tank top, tugging it upwards. Gojyo willing obliged by raising his arms so Hakkai could lift it upwards, fully revealing the broad tanned chest.

As the clothing caught at the elbows of Gojyo’s long arms, Hakkai leant forward and flicked his tongue over one nipple, hearing Gojyo suck his breath in loudly even as his body pressed upwards against his lips.

“Damn, Hakkai,” he breathed as he shook his arms free of his clothing and bringing them around Hakkai as the other lightly took the nipple between teeth and nibbled gently. Gojyo panted in response, a soft moan issuing form his lips. “You’re too fucking good at this.”

Gojyo slipped one hand under Hakkai’s chin and lifted his head so he could look at him. “Let me do something for you, okay?” He grinned then. “You’re making me feel superfluous.”

He placed a light kiss on Hakkai’s lips and then dropped a hand to the waist of his trousers, popping the top button and grasping the zip, slowly beginning to draw it down.

Hakkai tensed, automatically drawing backwards, hands coming to rest flat on Gojyo’s chest.

“Hakkai?” Gojyo queried, pausing, a quizzical look on his face.

Hakkai took a slow deep breath trying to relax, forcing each muscle to release. Sensing this Gojyo slid the zip down another inch when he felt Hakkai stiffen again.

“O…kay,” Gojyo said, releasing his hold. He brought both hands up to rest on Hakkai’s shoulders and looked him the eye. “You don’t want to do this, do you?” he said evenly.

Hakkai met his gaze. “Of course I do. I agreed to it did I not?”

Gojyo sighed, taking a step back although he didn’t release his grip on Hakkai’s shoulders. “Just because you said yes doesn’t mean you really do,” he said. “You can say it all you like but that’s not what your body is saying.”

“You’ve just been feeling up my cock,” Hakkai said bluntly. “How can you say my body isn’t wanting it?”

Gojyo ran one hand through his hair before bringing it back to rest on Hakkai’s shoulder. “That’s one thing,” he said. “I should know how easily you can be lead by your dick. Just because you get a hard on still doesn’t mean that you actually want anything else.”

He dropped his hands to his side, fully releasing Hakkai, giving a wry smile. “Let’s call it quits here for tonight, huh?”

He began to turn when Hakkai reached out and gripped his hand, halting him. “Don’t go,” he said forcefully. Gojyo looked back at him.
“Please. Don’t go.”

Gojyo tightened his grip on Hakkai’s hand but made no other move towards him. “I don’t want to force you to do something you’re gonna regret,” he said a little gruffly. He looked away for a moment. “You’re too important to me.’

The last was said almost under his breath as though he didn’t want Hakkai to hear him, but he did and at hearing Gojyo voice his very own thoughts filled him with joy.

He tugged at Gojyo’s hand making him turn to look at him again. “You’re important to me also,” he said quietly. “More than anything else. So please. Don’t go.”

Gojyo met his gaze and then stepped closer, wrapping his arms fully around Hakkai, resting his chin on his shoulder. “But you don’t like it,” he said. “And I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”

“You’re not doing anything wrong,” Hakkai assured him, holding him also, encircling the bare back. “It’s me. I’m sorry.”

Gojyo squeeze him tightly. “Don’t be stupid,” he replied. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about.” He raised his head and looked down at Hakkai, a small frown on his face. “You’ve never done this with a guy have you?” he said.

Hakkai shook his head, feeling his face colour a little. “No.” Then a thought struck him. “Have you?” he asked, not sure he really wanted to know the answer or not.

Gojyo nodded a little reluctantly. “Yeah. A long time ago.” He saw the flash of annoyance over Hakkai’s face and hurriedly added, “It was when I was a stupid kid. We were just mucking around, that’s all. It’s not like it meant anything.”

“Who was it?” Hakkai asked evenly, unable to stop the icy calm tone.

He saw Gojyo wince at the tone but he answered. “Banri; you know the guy who came by when I first found you.”

“Oh,” was all Hakkai said. He remembered the youkkai friend of Gojyo’s from that time. He hadn’t particularly liked him, and the feeling had been entirely mutual from what he had seen. Now he wondered that despite Gojyo thinking it had only been in fun if Banri had considered it much more and had seen Hakkai as a threat. It didn’t change Banri’s basic nature in getting Gojyo involved in his mess and then deserting him, but perhaps that too had just been Banri’s way of fighting back against the fact that he may have seen himself losing Gojyo to another. In a way, Hakkai could almost pity him. Almost.

“You know we were just fooling around,” Gojyo was trying to explain. “It wasn’t like it was planned or anything. Just one day we were mucking about, jerking off to some dirty magazines, then next thing we were fucking. It sort of became a habit that when we caught up we would screw first, play cards after.” Gojyo grimaced. “We sort of used our fucking as the first relief valve before we went and picked up some chicks later on. We often used to get a couple of girls and have a foursome, taking turns screwing each girl, then once they were gone we fucked one more time, got the last of it out of our system and that was it.” Gojyo gave a small shrug. “It wasn’t like there was much else for us to do to kill time.”

“I see,” Hakkai murmured, trying to figure out if he wanted to banish the images in his mind of Gojyo fucking Banri, or simply insert his own image in Banri’s place and concentrate harder on it. “So has there been anyone else?”

Gojyo shook his head emphatically. “No,” he said firmly, squeezing Hakkai’s hand. “Banri was the only one, and as I said it was only now and then when we saw each other and had nothing better to do.’ Gojyo smirked. “I’m really not into dudes you know. Not like I didn’t have enough girls interested if I had an itch to scratch.”

“I guess you are…experienced then,” Hakkai said, looking away.

“Sort of,” Gojyo admitted. “Banri said I was pretty good at it but you couldn’t really believe anything that bastard said.”

“I’m sure that he wouldn’t bother lying about that,” Hakkai answered.

Gojyo chuckled. “Yeah, maybe. The prick would probably tell me I sucked if he was trying to lie!”

Gojyo paused for a heartbeat and then pulled Hakkai closer. “Hey, is that what you’re worried about?” he asked. “That I don’t know what I’m doing? Or is it that I do know what I’m doing?”

Hakkai shrugged. “I think I am more concerned with if I can actually go through with it,” he answered honestly.

Gojyo sighed. “See, you don’t really want this,” he said. “No sweat. Don’t try pushing yourself.”

Hakkai gripped him tightly. “It is not that I don’t wish to,” he tried to explain clearly. “I want this as I have not wanted anything for a very long time.” He gazed up at Gojyo. “But I fear that if I lose control I will do something to you. My past has shown that those who get too close to me tend to meet with…an untimely demise.”

“You wouldn’t hurt me, Hakkai,” Gojyo assured him, drawing him into a tight embrace. “I know you.”

“Do you?” Hakkai breathed into Gojyo’s hair. “Do you really think you do?”

“I do. I trust you,” Gojyo said.

“That might not be a wise thing to do,” Hakkai warned gently.

Gojyo pulled back and looked at him, running a finger tip lightly over Hakkai’s lips. “Don’t say that,” he said softly. “I trust you which is why I know you would never hurt me.”

“That makes no sense,” Hakkai said, lips moving against Gojyo’s finger.

Gojyo grinned at him. “It does to me.”

Hakkai just rolled his eyes knowing he could not win this argument. “Your logic defies me as usual,” was his only answer though he said it with a smile.

“Good, then that means you’ve run out of excuses.”

“Hardly,” Hakkai said, refusing to concede defeat so easily. “But let us say that I will save them for some other time.”

“That suits me,” Gojyo said, leaning forward to press at kiss against Hakkai’s lips. “Because there are better things for us to be doing than talking.”

He placed light kisses on Hakkai’s cheeks, on the tip of his nose, his brow, then over the top of each closed eyelid before returning to his mouth. Hakkai felt himself lean into the touch again, his body craving more.

“See?” Gojyo whispered to him, nuzzling into his neck. “Just relax and trust in me. I promise I’ll make you feel good.” Another kiss was pressed to the side of his neck directly over the pulse point. “Let me love you with everything I am.”

Those words sent a fierce shudder through Hakkai’s entire body and his hands gripped Gojyo’s back tightly, fingers digging into the flesh briefly.

Gojyo continued to kiss him as his hands now began to caress Hakkai’s chest, running over the skin lightly, barely touching. Those soft touches travelled over his collar bone, down his sides, trailing along each rib individually, bumping across the jutting hipbones showing above his jeans. His breath drew in as fingers dipped into his navel briefly before running upwards, following the sternum.

They then fanned out to each side of his chest, palms rubbing over his nipples. He swallowed a cry, not wishing to voice it out loud, embarrassed. Gojyo continued to pleasure him, thumb and index finger lightly tugging on each nub drawing it to erectness.

As his hands moved lower Gojyo dropped his head also, lips burning a path down to fasten around his right nipple. Hakkai jerked as lips latched around it and tugged, sucking the nipple into a hot mouth. He felt the tip of Gojyo’s tongue begin to flick over it; teasing it, arousing it further. A jolt of desire went straight to his groin making him harden again.

Gojyo released that nipple and turned his attentions to the other, repeating the action whilst Hakkai’s hands were kneading Gojyo’s bare back, fingers running along his spine, digging in around each vertebrae. The silky touch of Gojyo’s hair brushing against his chest was exciting him further and this time he didn’t try to conceal his moan of pleasure.

Gojyo let his lips roam upwards once more, dropping a light kiss back on Hakkai’s lips. “Take my pants off,” Gojyo whispered against his lips before kissing him properly.

Hakkai hesitated for a moment and then moved his hands away from Gojyo’s back, sliding them around to the front and running downwards. He felt them slide into the dip at gojyo’s waist, felt the ripple of stomach muscles as he trailed fingertips towards the centre of his abdomen. He could feel the soft body hair against his fingers as he slowly undid the buttons of Gojyo’s fly, the material easily parting under his touch.

Gojyo’s erect cock immediately touched his hand, released from its confines. Hakkai could feel the touch of moisture on the tip, Gojyo’s arousal clear as it dripped precum. He was beginning to understand that it was due to him that Gojyo was in this state, a thought that was a little daunting yet at the same pleasing.

He wrapped his hand around Gojyo’s cock and began to stroke it, sliding his hand upwards to curl over the tip and collect the moisture gathered there before smearing it down the length as he drew his hand downwards. Gojyo moaned as he continued to kiss Hakkai deeply.

Hakkai released the cock, accompanied by Gojyo’s moan of discontent, and pushed the trousers over the narrow hips feeling the material fall downwards easily. Gojyo fumbled for a moment and Hakkai realized he was toeing his boots off, a growl of frustration followed by the heavy thud as one boot was finally kicked away, swiftly followed by the other. Gojyo wriggled around again a little more and then was still, wrapping his arms around Hakkai once more.

They continued to kiss then Hakkai broke it, backing away for a moment. “Hakkai?” Gojyo asked, obviously wondering why they were stopping.

Hakkai didn’t answer, just gazed at the fully naked Gojyo before him. Gojyo was entirely exposed to his view now, nothing impeded by clothing, his jutting erection fully evident.

“Uhm, Hakkai,” Gojyo said again, shifting a little nervously on his feet.

This made Hakkai smile. Who would have thought Gojyo would get embarrassed being looked upon whilst naked. He didn’t seem the shy type.

“You’re magnificent,” Hakkai said truthfully. He could see a flush begin on Gojyo’s neck and down his chest. Yes, Gojyo was definitely embarrassed. Hakkai chuckled.

“Hey, stop laughing at me,” Gojyo said defensively, hands coming round to hide his erection.

Hakkai reached out and shifted the concealing hands, releasing them only to slide his own around Gojyo’s stiff cock, looking up at him as he began to stroke him.

“I’m not laughing at you,” he assured his lover. Gojyo gasped as he quickened his stroke. “I’m laughing because I’m so lucky that you are mine.”

He stretched up and brushed his lips against Gojyo’s, all the time continuing to jerk him off. Gojyo gave a deep moan and bucked into Hakkai’s grip, head lowering as he bit at his bottom lip.

“’Kai,” he moaned. “Let me undress you.” He lifted his head to look down at Hakkai. “I want to touch you too. Please?”

Hakkai didn’t cease his motion on Gojyo’s cock though still hesitating briefly before nodding his head. “Very well.”

Gojyo leant in and kissed him, deepening it. Hakkai could feel his hands touch his stomach and he sucked it in involuntarily.

“Easy,” Gojyo whispered against his lips.

Hakkai could feel the zip beginning to lower once more, unable to stop the shudder that shook him as he felt the knuckles of Gojyo’s hand press against his cock on its downward journey. When the zip was down as far as it could go he felt those hands move back to the waistband, gripping the material at his hips and pulling it down over the hipbones, hands brushing over outer thighs as it pushed lower.

Gojyo’s long arms managed to push the jeans down almost to Hakkai’s knees but no further so now Hakkai took the initiative. Standing on the bottom of one leg of his jeans he lifted that leg out, Gojyo’s arms wrapped around him holding him steady. With one leg released he repeated the action so he was finally free of his jeans fully.

Now he too stood completely naked, not having bothered to put on any underwear for what he had intended to be but a short stroll to clear his head before sleep. He was thankful that Gojyo didn’t appear to want to put him under the same scrutiny he had exposed his partner. He was sure he would have lost his nerve completely if that had been the case.

He felt Gojyo tighten his grip and lean forward, one foot bumping against his. He stepped back to avoid being trodden on when the same happened to the other foot. Slowly Gojyo walked him backwards until he felt something hard bump against the back of his legs. Letting out a startled cry, he fell backwards but instead of hitting hard he felt his fall controlled by Gojyo’s strong arms around him as he hit the bed and felt the mattress give under their combined weight. Gojyo shifted, reaching down with one hand to push Hakkai’s legs fully onto the bed more comfortably before rearranging himself by his side.

Now Gojyo’s hands were everywhere over his body, touching, caressing, sliding over slick skin. When one hand wrapped firmly around his cock and began to pump Hakkai moaned, allowing his body to wantonly thrust into that tight grip that gave such pleasure.

He could feel Gojyo’s warm breath against his ear, lifting his hair. He could feel Gojyo’s heartbeat where his chest was pressed against him, feeling it increase when he moaned again. His hips continued to move, as though of their own accord, seeking that firm touch that surrounding his cock.

“That’s it,” Gojyo whispered, the husky tone making Hakkai quiver with a flash of increased desire. “Let go.” Gojyo licked the side of Hakkai’s face, the tip of his tongue trailing out to his ear, brushing over the cold limiters clasped there before teeth nipped at the lobe. “Let it all go.”

Hakkai groaned, eyes screwing shut tightly as his body squirmed against Gojyo. One knee lifted, foot flat on the bed, this giving him some additional purchase to be able to lift his hips higher. Gojyo’s whispered demand was one he could not refuse, his entire being desiring to fulfill it.

Gojyo shifted and Hakkai could feel him begin to slide down his body, the hand still stroking his cock even as the hot tongue left a moist trail that quickly chilled in the night air. Gojyo’s hair slid across his chest, each strand feeling like another’s touch as though many more people were caressing him. He gasped as first one nipple was grasped between warm lips, teased to hardness, and then the other received the same attention. Gojyo didn’t remain there but continued on his downward path.

Hakkai shuddered when Gojyo reached the large scar that ran across his stomach. He could feel his tongue trace over the jagged edges where the skin had never healed smoothly, following its path from one end to the other, covering the entire length. Hakkai squirmed at the contact, uncomfortable with the attention on an area that was a cruel reminder of all that he had lost. Gojyo seemed to sense his discomfort for he placed a last gentle kiss upon it before continuing on his way.

Hakkai jumped as he felt a gust of warm air caress the tip of his erection just before moist lips enclosed around it, slowly swallowing his length. His hands wound themselves into Gojyo’s hair, gripping the softness as his back arched, crying out. Gojyo’s hand continued to stroke him just at the base now whilst his mouth pleasure the head. His other hand held Hakkai’s hip firmly, holding him place, controlling his wanton movements.

Hakkai groaned, trying to convey to his partner his need for release. He didn’t care what he sounded like now, didn’t care what he looked like or what Gojyo might think of him. All he cared about, all he desired was to reach that final pinnacle of pleasure and be lost in it. His body craved it like a drug addict did their next fix – nothing else mattered.

He jerked as Gojyo chuckled around his hard cock still engulfed by his mouth. His tongue was doing wonderful things, things that sent fires shooting through Hakkai’s body before they returned to reside directly in his groin. He was panting now, his throat becoming dry as though he was fighting for every breath. He couldn’t seem to find enough oxygen, he was beginning to feel light-headed, weak as though his strength was draining away. His cock was so hard it was beginning to ache, the pressure building in it becoming almost painful.

As Gojyo continued to suck him he could hear something faintly, words. He tried to concentrate although that was difficult with Gojyo’s talented mouth sapping his mind. Eventually he realized what he was hearing. It was his own voice – his voice saying Gojyo’s name over and over again like a mantra.

He moaned again, hands trying to press Gojyo’s head down further, trying to press his cock up higher. Instead though suddenly Gojyo’s mouth left his body, his cock slipping from between those lips to fall to his stomach, leaving a wet smear on the skin. Hakkai cried out in disappointment, eyes immediately opening to look up at Gojyo who hovered above him. He could see Gojyo’s lips were red and full, a sheen of moisture coating them.

“Just wait a moment,” Gojyo said hoarsely, levering himself to his knees. The look he had on his face as he gazed down at Hakkai was heated and full of desire. Hakkai watched as he slowly shook his head, eyes running down the length of Hakkai’s body. “Man, you are so hot,” he said, one hand seeming to involuntarily run down Hakkai’s chest. One long finger then slid down the length of Hakkai’s cock making his hips jerk at the contact. Gojyo pulled his hand away, clenching it into a fist as though to stop himself from touching Hakkai again. “Shit, just don’t move, okay.”

Hakkai had no idea what Gojyo was trying to do or say as he watched the other get off the bed and walk across the narrow room. Just where exactly did Gojyo think he was going to go in this state? He wasn’t even sure that he would be able to stand he felt so drained. He could hear the sound of clinking glass as Gojyo appeared to be searching for something on the shelves. He could hear him muttering to himself but could make out no discerned words although it was easy enough to tell that the soliloquy was degenerating into swearing by the tone alone.

“Ah, ha!” Gojyo finally said with satisfaction, straightening up from his squatting position.

“Hmm?” Hakkai murmured in automatic response having been far more interested in admiring the firm roundness of Gojyo’s bare arse, cheeks spread wide as he had continued his search. The shadows from the candle’s flame had created interesting patterns over his bare body.

Gojyo returned to the bed and sat down on the edge, one hand automatically resting on Hakkai’s thigh as he held up the bottle he held in the other.

“I know it’s not perfect but I didn’t want to do this without anything,” Gojyo said looking a little uncertain. “Are you okay with this?” He waited for Hakkai’s answer.

Hakkai half sat up, leaning back on his elbows so he could read the label more clearly with his poor eyesight. His eyebrows rose as he looked back at Gojyo.

“Sesame seed oil?” he queried, not sure what to think.

Gojyo winced. “I know,” he said hurriedly. “But I can’t find anything else!” He looked away, tugging on his ear. “It’s not like I’m carrying something for this sort of thing.” He looked back at Hakkai. “I can go out and see if I can buy something if you’d rather.”

Hakkai looked at the bottle again then back to Gojyo, reaching out a hand to touch his arm. “No,” he said with a smile that was a little nervous. “I guess this is as…suitable as anything else - under the circumstances.”

Gojyo let out a small sigh of relief. “I’m glad,” he said. “I was sure that if I had to go out for something you wouldn’t be here when I got back.”

Hakkai chuckled. “And you would probably have been right,” he admitted.

Gojyo sat for a moment longer, just looking at Hakkai. “Are you really sure about this?” he asked, leaning forward a little. “Things are gonna get a little more…intense from here on.”

Hakkai took a deep calming breath and smiled to reassure him. “I know,” he replied. He reached up with one hand, touching the scars on Gojyo’s cheek. “I place myself in your care.”

“Geez, Hakkai,” Gojyo said, closing his eyes briefly as he captured Hakkai’s hand, pressing it tightly against his face before opening them again to grin. “You really know how to sweet talk a guy.”

Gojyo leant down to kiss Hakkai soundly, laying his long length across Hakkai’s body, pressing him back flat on the bed once more. Hakkai wrapped his arms around Gojyo’s broad strong back, pulling him closer. Without preamble Gojyo’s hand slid down his body, immediately grasping his still stiff erection.

“Yesss,” Hakkai hissed with pleasure, rubbing against Gojyo. He could feel Gojyo’s erection pressing into his stomach, the heat searing his flesh, moisture smearing between their joined bodies.

Gojyo shifted, drawing his body away from Hakkai’s although he didn’t break the kiss they were still locked in. He placed a hand on Hakkai’s hip and nudged him, rolling him away from him onto his side. Hakkai allowed himself to be manhandled this way, although it placed a strain on his neck as it was twisted to still be able to continue to hold the kiss with Gojyo who now lay spooned behind him. Gojyo slipped one arm under Hakkai’s waist, wrapping it around so he could grasp Hakkai’s cock in his hand. As he did this, Hakkai heard the rasp of a cap being unscrewed, the glugging sound of liquid. Then he felt Gojyo’s other hand slip between his legs, cupping around his testicles, rolling them in a very slick grip. He moaned at the touch, shifting his upper leg so as to give Gojyo better access. Gojyo’s slim fingers manipulated his tender flesh, eliciting further gasps of pleasure from him. Those dexterous fingers then moved on, reaching to cup and squeeze Hakkai’s buttock, kneading the flesh, sliding towards the centre.

Hakkai shivered at the touch, tendrils of trepidation running through him. He couldn’t erase the unease at the back of his mind. This was all very foreign to him, completely unknown territory and he felt somewhat at a loss. Despite all that he had said it was still difficult for him to give this much trust to someone, even if it was Gojyo. However, because it was Gojyo was why he had said he would.

Gojyo’s slick fingers easily slipped between his buttocks without resistance. He felt them slide along the crease, stroking the skin gently. He broke the kiss as he shuddered, unsure if he really could do this. Gojyo pressed his lips against the back of Hakkai’s neck, pressing his body in closer so Hakkai could feel the hard erection against his back. The other hand continued to pleasure him, stroking his cock.

“Hold on,” Gojyo whispered and before Hakkai could think anything he felt something long and slender slide within his body. It went in so smoothly his body didn’t have time to try to fight it He had no more time than to give one gasp and by then it was too late. He gulped, shaking from head to toe, trying to calm his breathing that was rapidly increasing as he tried to tense.

“Easy, baby,” Gojyo reassured him, holding him tightly. “Easy.”

Hakkai wanted to relax but he was finding it difficult to even think of doing so. He felt Gojyo’s hand slide up his cock and cup the head, fingers sliding through the precum and beginning to tease the sensitive underside. His body automatically jerked into that touch, a recognized and known pleasure it could respond to. As he did so the finger deep inside him slid out a fraction, and as his hips fell back he felt it slide back to where it had been.

Gojyo teased him again and once more his pelvis thrust up and his motion made Gojyo’s finger slide in and out of his body smoothly. As he experienced no pain from this invasion, merely a strange sense of discomfort his body began to relax. Now he felt Gojyo begin to move his hand, pumping his finger gently within Hakkai’s body, not waiting for Hakkai to do so involuntarily. Hakkai gasped as he felt it slip in deeper, hands gripping the sheets as his body jerked at the touch.

He gasped loudly as he felt himself stretched further, squirming and trying to pull away. “Just bear with it a little more,” Gojyo whispered to him, his hand continue to pump inside Hakkai as now two fingers delved deeply. “I don’t want to hurt you too much.”

Hakkai clenched his teeth, trying to control his urge to break away. He had agreed to this, fully knowing just what it entailed but knowing in theory and experiencing in practicality were two very different things.

He tried to continue to remain relaxed, trying to focus on the pleasure that Gojyo’s hand was still able to produce on his cock. Suddenly he arched up with a surprised cry as Gojyo brushed against his prostate.

“That’s it,” he heard Gojyo mutter with satisfaction. “Just like that.”

That spot was touched again and he automatically responded as sensations of desire fanned out through his body. Gods, that felt so good!

“I’m sorry, ‘kai,” Gojyo said from behind him. “I can’t hold out any longer.”

Hakkai felt Gojyo shift behind him, hands rolling him fully onto his stomach before lifting his hips. He raised himself onto his elbows, resting his head on his hands, feeling the length of Gojyo’s cock lying in the crack of his arse. He heard the sound of flowing liquid a moment before the drip of cool fluid touched his skin, dribbling down between his buttocks, over Gojyo’s hot cock nestled there, before sliding down lower to drip from his testicles. He could hear Gojyo’s ragged gasps as he began to slide his cock between Hakkai’s arse cheeks, hands pressing the flesh together to form a tighter channel.

“Man, this feels so good,” he gasped out, his motions speeding up, fingers digging into Hakkai’s flesh. “So fucking good.”

Hakkai moaned, his body feeling bereft, his cock aching to be touched again. He snaked a hand down to wrap around his own erection, beginning to jerk himself off.

“Sorry,” Gojyo apologized, dropping a kiss to Hakkai’s back as he curled over it. “I’ll be there in a sec.”

Hakkai felt Gojyo’s hands now part his buttocks, stretching the skin outwards then the touch of Gojyo’s cock pressing against his flesh. With a grunt Gojyo pushed forward, Hakkai’s body resisting him for a moment before sliding forward smoothly with the lubrication.

Hakkai cried out and jerked, his hand ceasing its motion as instead he clutched at the sheets.

“Oh man,” Hakkai heard Gojyo moan. “You’re so fucking tight!”

He tried to breath through the burning sensation that was centred on his arse, the strange feeling of fullness forced into his body. As he tried to pull away, body shaking, Gojyo’s hand slid around his body to grasp his cock.

He moaned as Gojyo stroked his cock in time to the small rocking motion he began from behind. Hakkai’s mind was having difficulty getting a grip on what was happening. Half of it was trying to tell him how bad it was and to get away, the other half was moaning in pleasure. Hakkai had a feeling he knew which would win.

“Come on, baby,” Gojyo was saying as he continued rock, although now he was sliding his cock out a little further before pushing back in. Hakkai knew he wasn’t in deep, certainly not to his full length for which he was grateful. He was sure that he would not have been able to handle that.

Hakkai felt his body begin to respond now as the discomfort and pain lessened, overwhelmed by the feelings of pleasure that were beginning. He focused on that, allowing the tension to flow away, beginning to move in counter part to Gojyo’s motion.

“Oh, yeah!” Gojyo moaned, thrusting faster. “That’s it.” His hand on Hakkai’s cock began to stroke faster, squeezing tighter making Hakkai groan.

Hakkai began to shake, that familiar feeling beginning to build within him. He felt his mind begin to cloud, desire taking over and eradicating all rational thought. Gojyo’s hand and cock was making this a very intense experience, one he hadn’t had before.

He felt Gojyo shift behind him, felt his cock press at a different angle and suddenly a bolt of pleasure shot through him as his prostate was struck. He cried out, head thrown back, muscles clamping together. It was all too much stimulation for him and he could hold on no longer. His climax hit him, jolting through his body, his cock spurting semen across the bed beneath him.

Hakkai shuddered again as the last of his release dripped from his cock, body still rocking as Gojyo continued to thrust within him.

“Just a…little more,” Gojyo gasped out, hands gripping Hakkai’s hips and pulling him back hard. “Just a…bit more.”

Suddenly he stiffened, a hoarse cry filling the air around them. Hakkai shuddered again as he felt a pulsing within his body, a feeling of warmth filling him from the inside. It was a strange, yet heady feeling coming so close on top of his climax and he moaned as a few more drops of cum seemed to be wrung from his spent cock in response. He could feel Gojyo’s body shake, jerking a few more times as his orgasm continued, filling Hakkai more and more.

Finally it was over and Hakkai felt Gojyo drape himself over his body, hands placed on either side of Hakkai’s body so as not to fall and crush him.

A soft kiss was pressed against his shoulder blade. “That was fucking great,” Gojyo murmured against his skin, sounding tired. Another kiss. “Are you okay?”

“Hmm,” Hakkai managed to respond, not really wanting to speak just yet. It seemed his higher brain functions that controlled speech weren’t quite in order yet.

“Hold still,” Gojyo instructed, shifting again.

Hakkai felt hands on his buttocks again and then a faint pressure as Gojyo slowly withdrew his softening cock from Hakkai’s arse. With it gone Hakkai felt a strange sense of emptiness, as though his body was already missing that feeling. Was it that easy to get used to it he wondered.

Gojyo wrapped his arms around Hakkai, easing him onto his side and curling behind him. He nuzzled at Hakkai’s neck. “Are you okay with this now?” he asked quietly.

Hakkai thought about it for a moment. Although it had hurt, the pain had been temporary and it wasn’t as though it had been so bad he couldn’t bear with it. Although there was the beginnings of an ache centred on his arse that forewarned him that he would have a reminder for some small time at least. He had a feeling also that despite them both having achieved orgasm there were greater experiences to be had. Having now tasted what it felt like to have Gojyo so intimately connected with him he knew he didn’t want to let that go and was more than prepared to accept whatever discomforts might come with that.

He reached up and gripped Gojyo’s arms encircling his chest, squeezing them. “This is fine,” he said. He felt Gojyo relax at his answer, obviously having been fearful of what response he was likely to receive.

He tightened his embrace around Hakkai. “I’m glad,” he said. “’Cause I have no intention of letting you go now.” Gojyo turned Hakkai’s head so he could place a kiss on his lips. “You’re mine now. This is just the beginning,” he promised.

Hakkai returned the kiss. “That goes both ways,” he reminded Gojyo.

Gojyo grinned at him, his ever present humour returning to his eyes. “Always knew you were the jealous sort,” he chuckled, brushing Hakkai’s hair away from his face.

Hakkai smiled at him. “Exactly,” he said. “So please don’t give me cause for concern. You really don’t want to see me upset.”

“I know, I know,” Gojyo said, not seeming the least concerned. He lay back down, cuddling in closer to Hakkai who heard him yawn widely. “I’m beat,” Gojyo said. “That really took it out of me.”

“What happened to your much vaunted stamina?” Hakkai teased although he was feeling just as exhausted. This night had been draining, both physically and emotionally.

Gojyo squeezed him in warning. “You’ll get to see it soon enough,” he threatened. “So you had better be ready for it!”

“We’ll see,” Hakkai responded. He dropped his head so he could brush his lips over Gojyo’s arm crossed around him. “Thank you.”

“Any time, partner,” Gojyo said softly from behind. “Any time.”


~End~