Forever Mine

Chapter Thirteen: My Last Goodbyes


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The eerie feeling of being in a cave with millions of candles. The area in which Muraki stood holding Tsuzuki in his arms was just what it felt like,large and seeming to trail off into nothingness.
Silence. Only the sound of his own breathing which was ragged and heavy through the dense air.

Then from in front of his eyes an aura, black as the place itself but with a hint of grey outlining a woman’s figure. Slowly advancing toward him. She was beyond mystical. Her hair was jet black, wavy through an unknowing air and face as pale as the doctor's own. Eyes that were pure white with no indication of a pupil. Her lips were the only color that showed on her face of a dark maroon. She was wrapped in a black cloak fitting shapely around her body.Dark and unseeingly beautiful.

She came in slowly, her footsteps making not even the slightest of sounds and approached the doctor staring only at the figure limp in his arms.

“Oh, Tsuzuki, why?”

Her voice echoed through the dark room a sound as concerned as a mother's in tone. she touched the guardians face. Raising her hands as if she were a mother taking her child.

Muraki pulled him away in reflex. Causing the enchanting woman to look up at him.

“You are here to show me this?”

She questions him. Her eyes somewhat haunting as they stared. A hand intentionally rests on the guardian's face.

“No, I want to go in his place. Take my life for his.”

He calmly responds keeping eye contact with her. Not allowing her gaze to disturbed him. He challenged those eyes with his own, normally when he looked into someone’s eyes he could see their expression, but hers were pure white orbs like pearls. Blank of any emotion but seeming to pierce right through his very soul.

“And what makes you think I will do it?”

Muraki placed his lover on the ground kneeling next to him he brushed the hair out of the brunette's face.

”Still in death you are beautiful as ever."

"Oh, you’ll do it. Tsuzuki is someone very special to Meifu and I am already wanted by you. You can already clearly see. The exchange is a giving rather than a bribe."

The man certainly had a way with words. She found it appealing that he was so confident in them. Though, he was right. Tsuzuki was one of her greatest shinigami. To lose him she would lose a great deal of power. But so did this man have power. For a human, he certainly did hold a slight candle to her shinigami. Impossible. That a human could sifter demons and have such vigor. To cause so much chaos for the man lying before him was amazing.

She witnessed the affection the doctor displayed on her guardian as he touched the brunette's face tenderly like a lost lover. There was no doubt the love this pale man had for Tsuzuki. She could clearly see it through his eyes. And Tsuzuki must have had this same love for him. Why else would he risk his life, and even worse dier consequences if he had survived with protecting the criminal.

The thought made her a bit jealous. Her greatest shinigami so passionate and loyal to human lives in love with a killer. She also knew from looking at the scene before her that this killer also had a deep heart. No immortal to mortal is innocent. They have all sinned in one way or another. Some worse then others. Every person in the living and dead world has their reasons. Does it make it wrong? Some people would like to say no, but it indeed is. At least in the rules of human society.

But isn’t it just human nature to love and be loved? To protect? What is so wrong about that? No matter who it is. This is the everyday decision Lord Enma must make. To judge those who are only acting on their human nature. To destroy those whose only reason for their crimes was out of pure human rejoinder. Some in cases of revenge, hurt, even betrayal. In any, case her job was hard and the one before her was no exception.

“You do realize the consequences of this decision, Muraki? There is no coming back, ever! Your judgment will be sentenced and you will be sent into eternal damnation for your crimes!"

Her voice lingers like a snake rolling through the air as his judgment is called before him. But still his body stood tall. His attention never leaving hers.

"I am fully aware of my destination, but if it means giving back Tsuzuki's life, then I will go with open arms."

Truly a passionate lover and honorable in his ways. She could understand why his determination was so strong on saving him. But could love really be that powerful? To change a man like Muraki? She would never know only from the sight she was seeing was she ever that close to feeling it.

Of course, she had love for her employees especially the one in front of her. Not a lover's love but a mother's love. Her heart had always went out to Tsuzuki. The brunette shinigami was the only one who had ever gotten to her heart like that.
Being that his true age was beyond many of the employees here at Meifu, he still was the most childish of the bunch. His heart so pure and fragile it made her wonder even more how he could of committed such a crime as what he did. But again it just brought back to the saying everyone has their reasons for something.

He hated himself for years on that one crime. Even committed suicide because of it. Still that was not enough to condemn himself. For many years he hid under that darkened cloud with half truths and full lies to himself. Diluting himself in a world of fake impressions to his fellow colleagues It was only in these few days she had witnessed an aura of true happiness in him. No doubt it was Muraki who had done this to him, only for it to break again. Still a edge of curiosity hit her.

“Why then? Give me a reason why you would sacrifice yourself for him?"

The doctor looked down at his lover smiling slightly.

"Because my life is nothing if this man is not in it. My whole life I have searched for this very man. Without him it would be pointless."

Such a simple answer and yet so deep.

She went over and touched the man's shoulder then kneels next to him and touches Tsuzuki.A glow illuninates her hand holding Muraki and transfers over to Tsuzuki’s. At that slight exchange she felt the doctor's love for Tsuzuki.
Every emotion he had for the shinigami flowed through her. The powerful burst of life that only that emotion could give and then she knew what it was to be loved by somebody. A feeling of wanting and desiring and yearning,
needing to be touched, needing to be coaxed with words of affection.
Begging to be taken and lose all your senses. To right the wrong to bury the past. To move forward and start anew. So many feelings in one that it was confusing at times but at others completely comforting.

Love was even greater then her own power and could easily wither her up into a crumpled mess left to die. It was trust. It was bonding. It was intimacy.

It Hurt!

She recoiled back from them as her hand left their bodies. She was shaking and built up with sweat, touching her face she comes to realize it was in fact not sweat at all but tears. Sighing. The exchange was made. But to her dismay at what cost.

The guardian's fingers start to twitch. The action becoming more and more violent until his whole body wracks into convulsions.

The process only lasting a few seconds until he exhales pulling his body weight up aggressively in a sitting position. His mind a bit confused, he looks around him rubbing his head. It was only until he seen Muraki’s body go limp and fall to the ground that he comprehends where he was at and what just happened.

“No! What did you do!?"

He almost stumbles over himself as he quickly shifts his body toward his lover. Fumbling on the pale man's chest in hopes that maybe, just maybe, his lover could hear his effortless words.

“Why did you do this?."

Panic overtook his eyes as he looked over toward Lord Enma, who in return stared at Tsuzuki with concern.

“Take it back! Take it back!”

To see her shinigami like this broke her heart. But there was nothing she could do to change it.

"I can’t."

Her voice filled with motherly concern.

“YOU LIE!"

His voice took her aback.

Shocked, her voice deep and demanding.

"What‘s done is done, Tsuzuki."

He looked sadly at her. His lips quivering, eyes glossy.

"You know you can."

Trying not to let his emotions get the best of her, she looked away from him.

"I am sorry, Tsuzuki. These are the rules. He exchanged his life to save yours. The only way this man can even be thought of coming back, would be if one of his victims forgave him."

Tsuzuki head falls, his shoulders drooped.

“But...but...I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”

His voice like a disappointed child who just lost a fight with their mother.

She hated this. This is where her feelings get the best of her with him.
Always with him. He always did this to her when things didn’t go well by him. That face, that voice, that child-like innocence. Damn him.

She touched his face lifting it up to her. Stroking it softly.

"I'll give you one hour to say your goodbyes."


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They say gardens always calm the mind and relax the body. The serene atmosphere couldn't help but sooth the soul.
Tsuzuki thought this would be the perfect place to bring Muraki. To come to the realization that he will only see his lover for an hour was something he was trying to get out of his mind. He wanted to spend as much time as possible with him and show the man he loved his one prize possession. His garden. It was truly breathtaking. Filled with sakura trees and flowers of many variety.

Some small as bushes while others large and overlapping them.
The ground was cemented in marble and cobblestones leading a path to more of natures more finer beauties. Small ponds and beautifully displayed stone patterns landscaped the deep coves of trees. Muraki abruptly stops in his tracks.

"You share this with me, Asato?"

The pale man tries to take everything in. Even his garden couldn’t compare to this. It was simply incredible.

“This is the one place I go to when I am at my worst. I guess today makes it another visit," the guardian sighed.

Muraki cupped his chin lifting his face to see his.

"You promised. No tears. I want to spend this time in your happiness not your sadness, Asato.”

"I know. It’s just..."

The guardian is shortly cut off by Muraki’s lips softly touching his.

It was suddenly broken as Muraki pulls down clutching his head. Tsuzuki grabs ahold of him.

"What’s wrong?” concern in his voice.

"Nothing. I just need to sit that's all."

The shinigami pulls them over to a sakura tree and they sit down leaning against it.

Tsuzuki looked into silver eyes, worried. Only for his lover to reassure him that everything was okay.

"This is all just so overwhelming. You are so overwhelming. I thought I would never again see those beautiful eyes of yours or hear your voice. Now this is all I need.”

Tsuzuki cuddles close to him. Relishing in the warmth of his chest.
Forgetting everything but the soft touches of his lover's hands in his hair.
Muraki leaned his head against the tree closing his eyes. The sun was setting and it was only a matter of time.

“Asato?"

The guardian only murmurs in his state of comfort at Muraki response.

"If I could only hold you in this embrace forever. My world would be complete. There is nothing else I have ever wanted more then to love you.
Even in death I will hold true to that."

Tsuzuki gripped tight onto his shirt.

"Don’t you say that. Don’t you say it like this is already the end. Maybe I can ask Lord Enma for another hour...maybe."

He felt his hand being touched and a kiss placed on his head.

"No, Asato. Just stay with me this last moment."

Something wet hits his hand.

“Moment!?”

Tsuzuki opened his eyes and looked to their hands. He notices Muraki becoming paler. Almost translucent Tsuzuki panicked.

"No!" he gripped Muraki’s hand tighter.

"No, no, no, no, no..."

He clung desperately to his lover's hands. Trying to bring some sort of color to them.
He looked up at Muraki who was smiling softly at him, tears falling down his face.

"I love you."

Tsuzuki shook his head.

"No, no, no! Not yet!"

He quickly wrapped his arms around the older man but falls to the ground.

"No, no, no, no!"

His words repeating desperately begging, his voice becoming choked. He grips the grass, his crying becoming sobs.

Watari not too far, hears the sobs and sees Tsuzuki ripping into the grass with his nails. Grabbing clumps of dirt into his palms only to repeat the process over. The blonde runs to him and grabs his hands only for the shinigami to throw himself into the scientist's arms.

Watari squeezed him tightly.

"No, honey. Don’t cry, don’t cry."

Watari didn’t know what else to do but hopefully be that anchor that Tsuzuki needed at that moment.

The brunette sobbed hysterically into the man's shoulder.

"Gone. Just like that, he’s gone. Watari. Not again. Why?!"

Not too far away, Tatsumi could see from his window the display down on the ground. Tsuzuki's body trembling in Watari arms.

Broken. That is all the man could think Tsuzuki was feeling right now. Completely and utterly broken.
He knew that feeling. Maybe not in the way Tsuzuki was feeling it right now.
Or maybe he did. He just didn’t display it like Tsuzuki did. The shadow master wanted so bad to be the one holding Tsuzuki at that moment. But he already knew where that lead to the last time. The truth be told that man sobbing down there really was in love with Muraki. Still, he couldn’t understand why. He slides his fingers across the glass.

"Tsuzuki, I am also broken."


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Chapter Fourteen: Starting Over


This is not it. Their is more questions to be answered . A confrontaion finally made. Tatsumi and Tsuzuki.