With All of My Heart

Nephrite didn't move from his place against the wall, his arms still folded over his chest. He wasn't like Zoisite or Kunzite, or even Jadeite. He could tell Mamoru what was on his mind, and what was bothering him, since he did not view the man in front of him as any kind of “master”.

Mamoru was quite for a short while after Usagi had left, but eventually figured that he would break the silence. “So, what's the matter?”

“You,” Nephrite stated bluntly, “and them.”

Mamoru seemed puzzled for a moment. “What do you mean?”

Nephrite could already feel his anger rising. “Your little fuck sessions with Zoisite and Kunzite.”

His old master looked surprised at Nephrite's tone and began to wander the room while collecting his thoughts.

“You didn't think I knew?” Nephrite asked, pressing Mamoru to speak.

“No, I knew that you knew, I just don't see why you would care.” He was beginning to get defensive, seemingly unprepared for a confrontation.

Nephrite scoffed at his words. “If Zoisite and Kunzite want to screw each other stupid, they can be my guest, but you...” Nephrite trailed off for a moment, wondering if he really did need to spell this out for the prince. “You are going to hurt Usagi.”

Mamoru turned and started pacing the room. He was uncomfortable with the situation, and Nephrite could see that he wanted this to end now, but Mamoru wasn't going to get out of this one. Not before he started owning up to his mistakes. “She's not going to find out,” he said, his voice a quiet contrast to Nephrite's.

“She's not that stupid, Mamoru. She will find out eventually.”

Mamoru's head snapped up in Nephrite's direction. “Are you going to tell her?” There was a hint of worry in his voice, but also something else. It was as if he planned to try and use his power over Nephrite if he did say yes. It was enough to make Nephrite question him.

“And if I did?”

His eyes grew wide, whether with fear or surprise, Nephrite wasn't certain. Mamoru shook his head slowly, “Nephrite, don't. You said it yourself, she would be hurt.”

“That would be my fault if I told her? I'm not the one cheating on her!”

They were standing several meters apart, but Mamoru reacted as though Nephrite had slapped him. “This isn't as simple as you make it,” he said, his voice still quiet. “In the past-”

“Since when did you start caring about what went on in the past? The last time I checked, you were saying that the past didn't matter. Or does it only matter when it suits you?”

Mamoru glared in Nephrite's direction, but he didn't reply. He continued pacing angrily. He wanted a way out of this, but Nephrite wasn't going to give it easily. He remained quiet, and the quiet in the room lasted a full minute before Mamoru was forced to speak. “Are you going to tell her?”

“No,” Nephrite finally allowed, “but I'm not going to cover for you anymore either.”

That was it, he wasn't going to convince Mamoru of anything today, so Nephrite just decided to walk out the door. It was good timing as well, since Usagi was just coming back down the hall. Nephrite just stormed past her. He didn't need to talk to her right now, not when he was fuming at her husband.

---

Nephrite couldn't exactly go back home, and he had the day off today, so work wasn't an option either. He found his way to Ami's apartment.

He hoped she was home, but knew the chances were slim as he rang the door bell. He fidgeted as he waited impatiently, wondering if he should let himself in if she didn't open the door. She probably wouldn't mind, and he didn't have anywhere else to go at the moment.

The door opened just as Nephrite was about to ring the bell again.

Ami looked surprised to see him as she opened the door to let him in. She was dressed in a lab coat, and looked like she was probably getting ready to go to work. “Nephrite, is something wrong?” she asked, immediately picking up on his demeanour.

“Yeah, would I be able to stay here for a little while?” Nephrite folded his arms and leaned back against the counter in the kitchen.

“I don't mind, but I'm heading off to the hospital right now. I'll probably be back late, but you are welcome to help yourself to anything in the kitchen.”

Nephrite nodded and managed to give a small smile of thanks.

---

When Ami did finally come home, Nephrite had managed to calm down significantly. It was close to midnight, and the Tennou had managed to entertain himself well enough with the television. He felt awkward about taking any of Ami's food however, so he had made a trip across the street to the 7-11 and picked up some dinner there.

He got up when he heard the door open, but was unsure about his next move when he saw that Ami was leaning back against the wall with her hand over her face. She was crying.

“Ami?”

She looked up startled, perhaps forgetting that he would be here. “I'm sorry, Nephrite. You shouldn't have to see me like this.”

Deciding that he needed to do something to help, he took her jacket and bag from her and put those aside and then tried to guide her into the living room. “Do you want anything to eat or drink?” he asked, knowing full well that he probably wouldn't do well at preparing anything except water.

She shook her head and sat down hard on the couch, covered her eyes again with her hands and sobbed.

Nephrite sat next to her, and tentatively put his arm around her shoulder. She leaned into him, and eventually threw her arms around his as well. Good, he was doing something right at least. “What happened?” he asked, knowing that it likely wasn't just a regular day at work.

“You know that I work in pediatrics.”

Nephrite confirmed that he did. She worked with sick kids, a very noble profession.

“There was this little girl in my care, Maiko-chan, she was five.”

Nephrite had a hunch about where this was going, but he kept his mouth shut and let Ami continue.

“She had ependymoma. Surgery only resulted in an incomplete resection, we knew her chances weren't good, but...”

Nephrite didn't understand most of what Ami was saying, but he knew enough to know that Ami would have done everything in her power to save the little girl. He tried to rub her back soothingly. “I'm sure you did everything that you could,” he tried to offer.

“I'm a doctor, I'm supposed to be able to separate myself from things like this. I shouldn't be upset.”

Nephrite gently eased her off his shoulder so that he could look her in the eye. “Ami, of course you're going to be upset. Who wouldn't be? If you weren't, if you didn't care about the people around you, you wouldn't be the Ami that I... that I fell in love with.” It probably wasn't the best time to use that word for the first time, but Nephrite couldn't help it. He needed to make her feel better.

Ami looked up at him with wide, teary eyes. She looked like she was trying to find the words to say in return, but Nephrite didn't need to hear them. He kissed her forehead and then pulled her back against him. He would sit with her as long as she needed him too.

---

The alarm went off at six in the morning. Nephrite grumbled and rolled over, but was awake enough to notice that Ami got out of bed without difficulty. 'How does she manage to do that day after day,' he wondered to himself. At most she would have gotten five hours of sleep last night.

She had asked him to sleep in the bed with her last night, a first for sure, but Nephrite assumed that after her emotional ordeal, she would be looking for his comfort to fall asleep to. She seemed to have fallen asleep almost immediately, but now she was up again.

“You need to go to work?” he asked groggily, knowing the answer she would give, but also knowing that if Motoki wanted him in the parlour before ten, he would be looking for another cleaner.

“I'm sorry the alarm woke you up,” she said quietly, grabbing her things and pausing briefly before changing into them. Nephrite couldn't say that he didn't appreciate the view, but he wasn't really awake enough to fully take it in.

“It's OK.”

“Do you have to work today?” she asked.

Did he? It took him a moment to remember. “Today's Thursday, right? Yeah, I go in at noon.”

She paused for a moment as she buttoned up her blouse. “I haven't had time to get an extra key made,” she said thoughtfully. A problem easily remedied.

“I'll make sure the door is locked before I leave,” Nephrite offered, “I don't exactly need a key.”

Ami let out a half-sigh, half laugh. “Of course you don't. I'll see you later tonight then.” She paused for a moment, and before leaving walked to Nephrite's side of the bed and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Now that was something worth getting up at six in the morning for. “Thank you for last night.”

“Any time.”