The Fine Line

Niamh loves reviews, she really does. And the more you give her, the more she wants to write.

I’m sorry if this feels shorter than normal, it’s not really that short, just has a lot of big blocks of stuff. Sorry… I get carried away…

Disclaimer of Defeatism: I don’t own D.Gray-man. If I did…there would be more thought bubbles. Dirty ones.

WARNING: THIS FIC CONTAINS SOME SERIOUS NEAR MAN-LOVIN’ AND SOME BAD JOKES. >.<
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The Awkwardness of Love

“Che, don’t be stupid, Moyashi.”

“I’m not being stupid, I’m being safe.”

“Get your ass up here before I come get it.”

“I said no.”

“And I said yes, Moyashi-kun.”

Kanda had him with that word and he knew it. Perhaps it was the masochistic part of Allen that refused to go against the silent agreement he had made with himself. He had wanted to sleep on the floor to avoid hurting Kanda further, but the other man seemed hell-bent on getting him in bed, even if he had to play dirty to do it. Allen didn’t mind playing dirty though, because that was what he was good at. So if Kanda really wanted him in bed, he’d just take off all of his clothes or something awkward like that. Not that that would cause him to die blushing or anything.

Allen had had to talk him out of taking a bath with him also – though he had to admit that it was tempting. He promised himself that if Kanda was well enough to stand without pain in the morning, they’d get what remained of the flaking snot in their hair out together.

“Dammit Kanda, you know I’ll kick you or something.”

“Che, you’re legs are so small, it wouldn’t even matter if you did.” There was a lilting note of humor in his voice that made Allen seriously want to kick him. Well, seriously, but not severely. He wanted to be teasing back, really, but it was late, he was tired, there was just no beating Kanda at word games anymore. At first Allen had been surprised that Kanda could argue so well, could twist his words to mean something they normally did not – but then he remembered; Lavi was his best friend. Lavi was wordy enough to spend hours in the library writing for his own amusement.

Allen pushed himself from the make-shift bed he had made on the floor so he could glower up at the dark figure that resided on the bed. Sure, he understood that this was perhaps their last chance to cuddle without anyone knowing, but Kanda seemed almost…almost…

Ah! Don’t even think the word, Allen. Don’t. Even. Think it.

“I’m not doing anything with you if I get in that bed.”

“Che, sleeping isn’t anything, is it?”

There wasn’t even a shred of honesty in his statement. Allen sighed. Well, if Kanda did start something, Allen would finish it. He would not begin anything that would leave either one of them sore in the morning, but if it happened, it happen – que será, sera as they say and all that. Allen tried to make a habit of taking things as they came, so if Kanda was going to—

Ah, such thinking will be the death of me. He cringed, as he traveled the three steps to the bed, mentally beating myself for imagining Kanda in the throes of passion. But beating himself for it just made him think of it again and the cycle continued until a pair of well muscled arms took him by the shoulders and pulled him onto the mattress with a yelp. It was hard to think of anything but the moment when Kanda was holding him.

“I thought your arm was broken,” Allen almost cooed at Kanda.

“Che, it was. Forearms do not have very thick bones; they heal quickly.” He explained, pulling the younger boy under the covers with him. He smiled into the darkness when he felt Allen’s bare chest touch his momentarily, the breath caught in his throat at the contact.

Allen shivered lightly as he settled so that he was facing the older man, their heads fit perfectly on the pillow beside each other so long as Kanda reclined against the headboard a little. He found it strange that the two of them fit so well together, found it amazing that when he found himself leaning in to place his lips momentarily on Allen’s the boy was leaning back at him. They met somewhere in the middle afterward, a place that let Kanda lay his head on Allen’s and wrap his arms about his shoulders while they were comfortable, Allen placed his head in the warm place under Kanda’s neck.

After a few moments of lying silently in the dark, Kanda’s fingers found there way to Allen’s chest where they brushed ever so lightly against his skin. It was hard for him to explain why he wanted that contact, but he did. Partly it had to do with how Allen had cried on him, that glowing emotion that filled his chest when he thought about how much he meant to Allen and how much Allen meant to him. He wanted to show Allen what that meant to him. It was more important than anything he had ever known. He felt that he had to convey Allen’s worth to him, had to touch him in order let him know. He wanted to somehow prove through contact that he… that he…

“I love you.”

The words were so quiet Allen wasn’t even sure that he’d heard them. His mind was suddenly a blank slate of nothingness, his hands felt suddenly cold. It was not as if he had not expected this – indeed he had been somewhat hopeful to one day hear those words – but it still shook him. His breath burned in his lungs but they refused to function; his eyes would not blink in the stillness. For a moment that felt like an eternity he could not even bring himself to ask if Kanda had said that fateful phrase.

Kanda could not believe it. He had wanted to think it, not say it. Being caught saying was far worse than being caught touching or staring as far as he was concerned. Silence permeated their small room like a thick fog, filling every corner with agonizing slowness. An inexplicable pain blossomed in his chest in the quiet; his fingers shivered against Allen’s skin, the contact was the only thing that let him know that the younger Exorcist was even there.

After what might have been a full minute, Allen found his voice in the darkness. “I’m glad.” He pushed himself closer; Kanda’s palm was flat against his chest, the fingers shaking like leaves in the wind.

“Glad?”

He nodded even if Kanda couldn’t see him. “Because I love you too,” His hands came up and took hold of his lover’s face, gently as a second hand joined the first on his flesh. “I didn’t think it would happen this fast, but now that it—” Kanda kissed him fearlessly, his lips pressed hotly against Allen’s. At that moment, he gave up on self-control. As Allen arranged himself so that he straddled the older Exorcist, his right hand holding Kanda’s face, his left losing itself in his silky hair, Kanda pulled him still closer, his mouth finding the hollow of Allen’s neck when their lips parted.

A knock came at the door.

Allen moaned.

The door burst open.

In the moment it took for the two half naked men on the bed to turn questioningly, there was a small gasp.

“Ah! My eye!” A suitcase bashed into the smooth oak floor as the black clad red haired man who had intruded on them clutched at his face in feigned despair. “It’s burning! Ah! My last eye!” His red hair flailed about as he stepped back in mock fright, running himself into the door frame and tripping himself on his fallen luggage. When his bottom came into contact with the floor, he gave up on faking blindness and his hands fell from the eye that was not already covered with an eye patch.

Slowly, Allen looked at Kanda. Kanda blinked blankly at Lavi.

“Er…a…” Lavi attempted to chime as he came to his feet. “I…ugh…I’ll room with Sable-chan!” He managed to smile despite his ridiculous blush that shone in the hallway light. He reached in to take hold of the door knob.

“Lavi,” Allen blinked at him, not moving from Kanda’s hips. “We’re not – it’s not – we haven’t –”

“Che,” Kanda interrupted him. “Did we tell you to open the door, Baka Usagi.”

Lavi nodded without actually looking at either one of them. “I… heard a groan and… I was worried about Yuu… so I…”

“Wait, your boat was only supposed to arrive today, how come you’re… here?” Allen still had not moved from his place, but he managed to make the question sound polite regardless.

Lavi grinned as if had forgotten the awkwardness of the situation. “Ah, we had favorable winds and Lloyd – who I heard that you met – got us tickets on an express train. We weren’t supposed to get here until—”

“Che, we know when you were supposed to get here, baka. Now do us all a favor and show up then.”

“Yuu-chan, where am I supposed to sleep?” Lavi whined.

“Call me by my given name again and I’ll kill you. Now leave.” Kanda seethed. Allen looked from one to the other; amazed that they could argue so naturally when he was sitting up on Kanda’s hips, just moments from coaxing himself into a good time.

“But Yuu-chan! I can’t seriously room with—”

“Lavi,” Allen’s voice was low and serious, though his tone was as polite as it ever had been. “Will you please just give us a moment alone together?”

Lavi swallowed hard. Sable’s plan had worked like a dream. And now that the initial shock was over and he could see that Yuu was still Yuu and Allen was still Allen, he wanted nothing more than to just find a place to sleep where it was warm and he would not hear anything. Nothing. Sure, he had helped this to happen, but if he heard someone moaning like that again, he was going to kill himself. Sure, he was a Bookman. He was supposed to be cold and indifferent and whatnot, but he still had feelings and urges like any other guy his age – like the urge to be loved –, and listening to his best friend and his most innocent companion doing each other wasn’t exactly going to do much for his deprived state.

“Alright, alright,” He sighed, picked up his luggage. “I’ll see if there’s an extra room and you two can explain…this in the morning.” The way Allen smiled at him – like this was normal and he had not been about to molest Kanda – made him want to vomit. It was too much. That kid could hide his innermost thoughts better than was natural; sometimes to the point where it seemed liked he wasn’t hiding anything at all. When the door closed behind him, he sighed to himself. “Aw well, she’ll find out in the morning.”

“Are we going to keep going, Moyashi?” Kanda whispered when Lavi was gone.

Allen titled his head and looked down at the Japanese man, grinning. “No.”

“Che! But you’ve got me all—”

“Do you remember the train?”

Kanda frowned at him, wondering what on Earth he meant. “Yes…”

“Consider this payback.” He plopped himself down on the mattress and snuggled close to Kanda, his Kanda, but that was all he was going to do. Lavi had ruined the moment.

“That’s hardly fair.”

“Life’s not fair, now shut up. I’m tired.”

Kanda sighed but didn’t argue. He could be happy with cuddling. For now.
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Sable and Allen stuffed their faces at breakfast, their companions watching as plate after plate after plate of food vanished into their mouths. Unlike The Sow Side Log the inn was rather ritzy, and it offered an extensive menu that – to Kanda’s secret delight – included soba.

Lavi watched Kanda and Allen carefully, attempting to see what exactly had changed between them. Kanda still called Allen moyashi, Allen still tried to make Kanda take it easy so soon after breaking so many bones, Kanda still called him an idiot, Allen still frowned at that. But one thing was obviously different, and that was Kanda’s smile. Instead of glowering at every turn and glaring death at every occasion, he would allow himself to grin at things – a beautiful grin that transcended almost all other grins before it. If Lavi hadn’t known better, he would have labeled Kanda as a strike.

And then, when the plates were cleared, there came the acting.

Lavi wanted answers. Kanda knew that he had to give them. He hoped that Allen didn’t care that Sable was also about to know everything.

“So…” The redhead tapped the table with his fingers, trying to be subtle. “Does Yuu-chan want to explain what I walked in on last night?”

Kanda looked at him with an emotionless expression, his dark eyes seeming to suck the light out of the room. His explanation was not going to be pretty. “Che, do you want to explain, Moyashi-kun?”

“Hm?” Allen just turned to look at him, but the eyebrow Kanda raised told him what he needed to know. He had called him that on purpose. “Oh, right,” He smiled sweetly, then leaned in to kiss him ever so lightly on the lips – but that wasn’t enough for Kanda. He deepened it until there was no lying about their intentions toward each other.

Lavi blinked. Sable scratched at the headband that ran across her forehead.

“Any questions?” Kanda asked, twining is hand in Allen’s. Allen’s heart was beating fast, but that was all he could feel. This made him happy, this proclamation of what had happened between them, and he leaned his head on Kanda’s shoulder just to show that it did.

“Yeah,” Lavi stuttered. “When? Why? How?” I’m a wonderful actor if I do say so myself.

Allen laughed. “That thing that he doesn’t talk about after he accidentally hit me with his sword. Because we care, and we have no idea how, really.” He shrugged from his perch. “You’re not… disgusted or anything are you?”

Lavi’s eye grew round at that. So it was the curse? That made sense. But how could he ever be disgusted by either of them? “It might sound odd, but I think you’re cute – don’t kill me Yuu-chan! Allen makes it cute!” He cowered in fear, knowing that Mugen would be coming his way at any moment. Instead, Kanda brandished a fork at him – being Allen was holding the arm he used to draw his sword.

“I have a question.” Sable spoke up for the first time, still looking somewhat indifferent about the whole business. Allen could have sworn that she had some latent psychic ability that kept her from experiencing surprise or something. “Who’s the seme?”
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And another chapter is completed! Woo! I LOVE reviews! You people make me want to write all day long ^^