The Past Life

We both stared dumbly at the door for far too long. Master finally ran to it and opened it again to look down the hall. He closed the door and I could tell that whoever had seen us was long gone. “Damnit,” he whispered.

My mind was already past what had happened here and was playing out the possible consequences. It could have been any of the other Shitennou, or possibly one of the servants in the palace. The latter was not as likely at this time in the day.

Kunzite? If it had been him, it would be more likely that he would have burst into the room, ripped us apart, and held his sword to my throat, threatening to kill me. He would not have remained silent.

Nephrite? Could have been. He probably would have been too shocked to do anything, but would probably tell Kunzite immediately. The result would be the same, only delayed.

Jadeite? He had been in the area, and he certainly would have left quietly had he seen. The way he looks up to our Master might make him keep quiet about it for the time being. He would be torn between his duties and his friendship. While I didn't wish that on him, it would be our best chance.

Any number of things could happen if it was one of the servants. Rumours would spread like wildfire, but those alone are not necessarily damning. It's also possible that they could report it to one of the Shitennou as well, depending on the person.

I got off my bench and watched as Master paced the room. He was distraught and deep in thought, he didn't react when I called out to him.

I placed my hand on his arm and managed to get him to stop pacing, but as soon as he noticed the contact, he quickly pushed me away. My eyes drifted to the floor, my stomach felt twisted in knots. Not from the current situation, but from being thrown off like that. I knew he was just angry with the situation, but it didn't help to tell myself that.

“I'm sorry, Zoi.” His voice was sad, but sincere. I looked up and saw the same in his face. I wanted to be close to him, but didn't dare move for fear of being rejected again.

Master turned away and walked to the window looking out over the fields. Something had his attention. “Zoi, come here.”

I joined him by the window and looked out cautiously. Kunzite was out there and Nephrite was making his way over from the palace. Nephrite said something, his arms were folded across his chest. Kunzite was listened patiently, but when Nephrite finished speaking something changed. I could see Kunzite's lips, and they formed a single word. “What?”

There was nothing spoken between then after that for a moment. Kunzite then began questioning Nephrite it seemed. Whatever the subject was, Kunzite was not happy about it.

“Zoi...”

“We don't know what is being discussed, Master. It could be anything.”

Both Kunzite and Nephrite turned and re-entered the palace. Master suddenly lost interest in what was out the window. “So what do we do?”

“I don't believe we should do anything but wait.”

“Wait? That's it?”

I nodded. “Anything else might do more harm than good. We should wait and see what they do with the information they have. I don't imagine we'll have to wait long.”

Needless to say, I did not go to my Master's bedroom that night. I don't believe a more foolish move could have been made if I had gone, not that either of us would have been in the mood.

I stayed in the music room, fulling expecting Kunzite to burst in at any moment. He did not. In fact, no one came to see me after the Master left.

The next morning, Master confirmed that no one had approached him either. We were back in the music room, since it was the one place that I could be found easily and it was most likely that I would be contacted first rather than my Master.

The wait was agonizing for both of us. I wanted to deal with the consequences of my actions now, rather than wait. Master probably felt the same way. He was restless and wouldn't stay still for more than a minute or two.

I played, hoping to calm him as well as myself. It seemed to work, as a temporary relief at least. Master would stop and listen, sometimes he would close his eyes.

The day wore on, and still no one came. Master eventually left, but insisted that I find him should anything happen. It didn't.

Days turned into weeks, and still there was nothing. Master suggested that perhaps someone had closed the door without looking inside. It seemed unlikely to me, but I was forced to agree. After all, not only had no one come directly to either of us, not even the faintest of rumours had been spread. We had been incredibly lucky.

We knew that we had to be more careful about our behaviour, and careful we were. Unless we were behind the closed door of Master's chambers, our relationship looked strictly professional. Perhaps too much so. I was once again receiving comments about my newest change in behaviour, especially from Jadeite.

“I wish you'd go back to being more relaxed,” he told me one night at dinner.

“Since when have you known Zoisite to be relaxed?” Nephrite asked.

“Since... forget it.” Jadeite fell silent. He had been excited to hear me laugh earlier. I suppose he must have been hoping for more.

“I'm fine,” I reassured him before returning to my meal. It was then that I caught Kunzite's scrutinizing gaze from across the table. Looking right back at him did nothing to divert his eyes. He was looking for something and it made me nervous, though I did my best to ignore him. Did he know about us after all? Perhaps Nephrite had told him and he was looking for proof himself, before he acted? My mind was racing with the possibilities and it was suddenly difficult for me to eat anything.

“Zoi, what's wrong?” Master asked, pushing himself up and away from me. It had not taken him long to notice the change. I was tense, my mind was elsewhere, I was not reacting to his touch like I normally did.

“I'm sorry, Master,” I said as he rolled off me and looked at me with concern. I explained my fears regarding Kunzite and the stare he had given me.

“So you think Nephrite told him?”

“I don't know. It's not how I would expect him to react.” I admitted. “And Nephrite doesn't seem to know...”

“Kunzite is very good at reading people. He can see that something has changed in you,” Master offered. “He's probably just trying to figure you out.” It was a valid possibility, but it did nothing to relax me.

“Sit up.”

“Master?”

“Sit up,” he repeated, gesturing to the edge of the bed. I did as requested and his hands were soon rubbing the muscles in my shoulders and neck. It felt good, but once again Master was doing something to serve me and I wanted to protest.

“It feels good, doesn't it?”

“Yes, but...”

“Then you should enjoy it.” That ended any more complaints from me that night and I allowed myself to melt into his touch. When his lips began a trail of kisses down my neck, Kunzite was completely forgotten. “That's much better,” Master whispered.

I turned my head towards his voice and he immediately claimed my lips and pushed me back down on the bed. He was being more aggressive than usual tonight. He pressed his body against mine, interlaced his fingers in those of my own hands, effectively pinning me to the mattress.

I gasped for air when he left my lips and moved lower to my neck and chest. I was paying more attention to my breathing than to my Master who continued to move lower. So I was surprised when I felt him take me into his mouth. He was moving quickly.

“Master...” I breathed, not in protest, but in ecstasy. I threw my head back and gasped as he began to suck gently and brought me further into that warmth. 'Damnit.' I wasn't going to last long.

He was watching me, his eyes partly obscured by his bangs. Sensing that I was not far from my release, he stopped. “Do you want this now?” Master asked.

“Please,” I replied, desperate for him to continue.

He wasted no time, and I felt his lips around me once again. I wanted to hold back, to make this last as long as it could, but I wasn't able to. I had to bite down on my finger to keep myself silent as I came. The brief burst of pleasure I felt was so incredibly intense.

As my body began to calm itself, coming back from the peak it had reached, Master crawled back up to lie beside me. He played with a few of the shorter pieces of my hair while he waited for my breathing to return to normal. “I don't suppose you could return the favour?” he asked.

I turned to face him and smiled. I leaned forward to kiss him first before rolling him over onto his back. “Whatever you want, Master,” I whispered in his ear, then I caught his earlobe gently between my teeth, a sensation I knew he loved.