Walk forward, into the world

Title: Walk forward, into the world
Author: Ainzfern
Genre: Ai no Kusabi – Post OVA
Code: Iason/Riki
Rating: NC-17
Parts: WIP - 15/?


From his seated position in one of the high-backed plush leather chairs that fronted Iason’s desk in his Jupiter Tower office, Riki waited, outwardly composed but deeply and profoundly anxious inside of himself.

It has seemed like such a logical and straightforward idea when he had first considered it but now, with Guy currently being re-checked for weapons in the anti-room beyond the office door, only seconds away from entering Iason’s office, Riki found that his mouth had dried up even as he palms had grown damp.

And as much as he might have reassured Iason, repeatedly, that he would be fine to handle this; there was no use trying to kid himself anymore now that moment had arrived. No use in pretending that he would be able to rely on a mutual benefit, the greater good, to help him deal with Guy. That kind of angle might work just fine with a political character like Chey Neeson, but it would be only so many glossy platitudes to a hard ass from the Ceres slums. If he wanted to have even the slimmest chance of Guy actually listening to him, of really hearing what he had to say, then he would have to appeal to him on a personal level. From the heart.

This... Riki drew in a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment… this was not going to be easy.

Even though he was facing away from the entrance of the office, hidden from view by the tall back of the chair he was in, when he head Katze’s team escort Guy into the centre of the room as previously instructed, his heart actually quailed for a moment.

And when he heard Guy’s voice, so familiar to him even now, raised in angry enquiry, something that felt very much like fear rolled in a slow wave through his stomach.

“What..?!” Guy’s words were sharp, filled with scathing sarcasm, “Not even finishing the job, guys?” Huh? Just gonna dump me in here so your Elite puppet-master can have all the fun to himself?”

Still Riki waited, just listening, silent and still, as heavy treads from the boots of Katze’s men signaled that they were leaving the room. They did not reply to Guy’s question. In fact, Riki knew that they would probably not have reacted to him at all.

Why would they? Despite his current disquiet, Riki nearly smiled dryly. They weren’t getting paid to react to Guy.

There was a profound silence for a moment, where Riki heard Guy take a few steps, muffled slightly by the thick carpeting, further into the room. The footsteps paused again before, surprisingly, Riki heard Guy heave a deep resigned sigh.

“I knew this day would have to come, Iason,” Guy spoke in a tone of voice that was all the more startling because it was so soft, so accepting, “From the moment I heard that you’d survived Dana Bahn… I knew that you’d get around to killing me. I knew I was living on borrowed time.”

Painfully, Riki frowned down at his hands, oddly saddened by the genuine note of defeat in Guy’s quiet words.

Guys sighed once more, his voice lowering even further, so much so that Riki had to strain just to hear his next words. “It wasn’t enough for you that you ripped off my arm, was it?” Guy was asking absently, almost as if directing the question to himself. “It wasn’t even enough for you that Riki chose to die with you rather than live with me. You want my life too.” Guy drew in a deep breath then. “So… the moment of your revenge is here,” he continued, his voice rising again, growing sharp and defiant once more, “Don’t drag it out, you Blondie freak son of a bitch. I know you’re somewhere in here. So, come on out and finish me off. Act like a fuckin’ man and end it!”

Taking a deep and fortifying breath, Riki rose from his seat and turned to face the agitated mongrel gang leader in the centre of the room. “Guy?” he said softly, breaking the tense silence.

As he watched Guy freeze in place for a moment before turning to look at him; as he watched the man’s eyes widen in shock and the blood leave his face in a sudden rush, Riki was also taking the opportunity to really look at him for the first time in so many months.

Guy had changed.

Oh, there was the loss of his arm of course; the one that Iason, in his enraged anguish over Riki’s maiming, had virtually crushed into a pulp with one hand. But it wasn’t that which had really caught Riki’s focus.

He was still tall, still handsome and well formed even with the loss of his limb; still had his long dark hair pulled back at the nape of his neck, hanging in a thick ponytail down his back.

But… he was so thin. His face was deeply lined with furrows at the edge his eyes and mouth that bespoke of loss and regret. Shadows, so dark that they almost looked like bruises, lay under his haunted eyes, evidence of far too many sleepless nights. And he was so wan, so washed out and pale, like had hadn’t been touched by the sun in a long time.

And right now, he was staring at Riki with desperate hope in his eyes, trembling so violently that Riki could clearly see it from across the room.

“Riki?” Guy wet his lips and shook his head slowly, as if he couldn’t quite process what he was seeing. “You… You’re alive…” his whisper was harsh with disbelief, “You’re alive…”

“I am.” Riki swallowed and took a step towards him, “It’s kind of a long story but, they - I mean, the Blondies, managed to save me.”

“Riki…” Guy whispered again, moving forward, his arm outstretched hungrily and tears rising into his eyes. He halted, just a few steps away from his former partner, almost as if something had suddenly occurred to him. Sighing harshly, he glared up at pointedly at the security cameras in the corners of the room, his face creasing into a frustrated grimace.

Understanding the silent message, Riki nodded at him. “It’s okay. You won’t get shot for it.”

And then Guy embraced him, his single arm sliding around Riki’s shoulders and his face burrowing into the side of his neck. His body was wracked with shudders as he held Riki tightly, perhaps of relief, perhaps of anguish.

Perhaps both. Riki couldn’t tell.

Riki allowed the embrace for a moment, his own hands gently patting Guys’ shaking back, but when the moment expanded beyond comfort for him, when the hugging threatened to become clutching; Riki gently but firmly eased away, holding Guy by the shoulders and looking somberly into his tired, careworn face. “God, you look like hell, man,” he murmured gently.

Guy barked a soft wry chuckle and ran his hand roughly over his face. “I feel it.”

“Sit,” Riki guided him down into the chair he’d been sitting on, taking the one beside it for himself. “Sit before you fall, for God’s sake.”

“Riki?” Guy gripped Riki’s hand, staring searchingly at him. “What the hell happened? Where have you been all this time?” He frowned, his eyes narrowing, “Have you been here? In Eos?”

Riki shook his head. “No. For most of the last few months I was recovering in some medical lab somewhere.” He sighed softly, “Then I was working for Katze for a few weeks in one of his safe-houses just outside of Midas.”

“Working for Katze?” Guy spat the name. “That bastard?”

Riki sat back, feeling his expression harden slightly. “That ‘bastard’ helped to save my life, Guy,” he replied softly, a cold note entering his tone.

Guy pressed his lips together, averting his face for a moment. “So your fuckin’ Blondie found you again, I take it? Hauled you right back here again, I guess.” His face twisted for a moment, grief and rage in his eyes. “So everything that happened didn’t mean shit to him. You’re still his Pet, right?”

Riki’s eyes closed for a moment as he forced himself not to visibly react to Guy’s last remark, knowing that no possible good could come of it if he let slip that the healing process had restored his body in it’s entirety. He took a steadying breath, bracing himself anew. “Guy, I didn’t get Katze to bring you here to talk about Iason.”

Guy’s head snapped around to face him again, his eyes once more widening.

Riki shrugged, holding Guy’s gaze steadily.

Guy stared hard at him, his expression changing from confusion to astonishment, before finally settling into a mask of suspicion and anger. “Then what do you want, Riki?” his question was low and tightly controlled. “You come back from the dead and all of a sudden you’re running deals out of a Blondie’s high-rise office? What the hell’s with that? And why the fuck have you brought me here? Why the fuck would a high and mighty Elite Blondie like Iason Mink even let you bring me here?”

“I need your help.”

Guy snorted gracelessly. “Yeah. Well. I tried to help you before and look what happened.”

Fighting to keep his voice calm, Riki wet his lips and leaned forward slightly. “This is different. This isn’t about me.”

“Oh?” The slightest spark of interest had entered Guy’s eyes. “Who’s it about, then?”

“You. In a way,” Riki reached across to the edge of Iason’s desk, picking up Chey Neeson’s proposal and offering it to Guy, “and about anyone else living in Ceres who wants to take advantage of this.”

Taking the dossier, Guy set it on his lap and opened it, scanning the overview on the first page quickly. He looked up after a moment or two, one brow lifting slightly. “This is for real?”

Riki nodded.

“And my part in this whole deal?”

“Just the names and the locations of the Ceres Edge leaders, Guy,” Riki told him firmly. “That’s all I want.”

“That’s all, is it?” Guy’s eyes narrowed again, his full mouth curling derisively.

Riki’s heart sank, even as he watched the man in front of him shake his head.

“Well, it all sounds really great,” Guy smiled coldly at him. “But there’s just one little thing that bothers me.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” Guy casually tossed the dossier back onto Iason’s desk. “You said you spent time in Ceres working for Katze? Several weeks, if I’m remembering your words right.”

Silently, Riki nodded at him.

“So you were out.” Guy leaned forward, “You were away from that Blondie bastard for weeks and in all that time, the thought never occurred to you to come and find me?”

In spite of his earlier promise to himself to remain in control, Riki felt the heat rising into his face. “Well maybe I was just a little fuckin’ scared that you might have decided to cut something else off of me, Guy,” he snapped out, his temper racing away from him, “Did that occur to you?!”

Guy blanched, his face paling again, “That wasn’t supposed to happen!” He rose abruptly to his feet, stalking back into the centre of the room, running his hand over his face once more. “It all got fucked up, Riki… don’t you get that? It all got out of control. I don’t… I never wanted to hurt you, I...” He swallowed hard, his eyes suddenly beseeching, “I was out of my head. I just… just wanted to get you free. I just wanted to get you away from him!”

“Is that what you wanted to get for me, Guy?” Slowly, Riki got his feet, his eyes never breaking from Guy’s for a moment. He felt a terrible cold rage filling him, felt his hands grow strangely numb and, when he spoke again, his voice calm and quiet and terrible, it was as if the words were coming from some vast distance. “Well, why don’t we just re-visit what I did get from you, huh?”

Guy stilled, caught by the dreadful intensity of Riki’s voice.

“What I got from you was a drink so loaded with sedatives that I’m still surprised it didn’t kill me on the fuckin’ spot,” Riki took a slow deliberate step forward. “What I got, was laid out unconscious in some dingy little room in a condemned underground shelter, while you sliced my dick away from my body.”

“Oh God, Riki…”

Ignoring Guy’s agonized whisper, Riki continued, taking another step forward. “What I got was to wake up all by myself, terrified, and in more fuckin’ agony that I can possibly ever describe.” Riki swallowed hard, his gut flipping in remembered nausea as the images from that awful, soul destroying moment replayed themselves like rapid snapshots through his mind. “I got to just lie there, Guy, alone and sick and bewildered, in some shitty little room, with nothing left between my legs but a raw open wound and only one possible explanation as to how it got there.”

Guy face was a picture of misery, his eyes filled with tears and remorse. “I’m sorry, Riki,” he rasped out painfully, helplessly lifting his hand in a useless gesture. “I’m so fucking sorry for everything. I live with it… every day. What I did to you. I look back at myself and I… I can’t believe that it was me.”

Closing the distance, Riki held his agonized gaze, his voice softening once more. “Well it was you, Guy,” he replied sadly. “So you owe me.”

Guys lowered his gaze, sighing deeply. “Yeah. I guess I do.”

“On the desk behind me is a blank piece of paper and a pen,” Riki stepped to one side, motioning for Guy to step forward. “You know what you need to do with them.”

Nodding, his lips pressing tightly together, Guy approached Iason’s desk and wrote in silence for several minutes. Once finished, he turned, eyes averted to one side, walking back to Riki and handing him the list he had made. “That’s all of them. All the main ones, anyway.”

Taking it gently from him, Riki nodded. “Thank you.”

Pulling in a deep breath, Guy stared straight ahead of him, looking with blank eyes at the door of the office, where Katze’s escort detail had just reentered the room, silently waiting to take him back to Ceres.

“I’ll get the word out around the inner slums, too,” Guy continued as if Katze’s men weren’t even there, still not meeting Riki’s eyes. “I don’t know if you’ll get many takers but, there might be few in the gangs who wouldn’t mind getting out of the game.”

“That’s fine, too. They’ll be welcomed.” Riki glanced at the list, his head aching. “They’ll all be welcomed.”

“If you need to get a message through,” Guy dropped his gaze to the floor, “or there are instructions you need to pass on, Katze obviously know how to contact me.”

“Yes.”

Guy paused once more, finally looking up into Riki’s eyes again. “I loved you, y’ know,” he said softly, his face filled with profound regret. “I still do.”

Riki smiled sadly at him. “No, Guy,” he murmured, his voice gentle but certain. “You loved a half-wild seventeen year old kid called Riki the Dark. Now, I might still be alive… but I’m telling you now, Riki the Dark is well and truly dead.”

With one final lingering look, Guy turned away and walked towards his escort.

He did not look back as he left the room.

Riki stood there for a long moment, staring at the list in his hand, his mind whirling with all manner of thoughts both sorrowful and pained. He breathed deeply, fighting for control, so intent upon it that he barely heard the measured footsteps that approached him.

He looked up, feeling the burn of tears behind his eyes as Iason’s warm hands closed over his shoulders. Those pale eyes were gazing down at him, a wealth of empathy reflecting from them.

“You did well,” Iason told him gently.

Riki nodded and lifted the paper in his hand. “Yeah,” his voice cracked slightly.

“Are you all right?”

Swallowing hard, Riki vented a shattered sigh, leaning forward to press his forehead to Iason’s solid chest. “No.”

Iason did not reply. There wasn’t really any need. He simply wrapped his arms around Riki’s sorrowing form and held him close for a long, long time.


TBC...