Sweet as Sugar

Sweet as Sugar
Chapter Fifteen

Numbly you walked through the Haninozuka estate. Honey was in front of you, leading you by the hand. He kept his pace slow and to a pretty smooth terrain. He even caringly held out his hand to help you when you needed to get up or down for whatever reason. You gave no protest to any of these seemingly harmless actions. Why? Well honestly you were a bit sore.

Honey had taken your virginity in a way that had given you the least pain possible. Or so you believed. But you were still sore from the newness of the action. You could still feel muscles move, muscles that you had rarely been aware to prior to this. Besides that he'd chatted happily about taking you a bath. After what happened a bath sounded perfect.

You trembled slightly outside of the door when you realized that Honey was holding it open with a smile. A smile that you would have thought was the cutest thing a few months ago. Now you knew better.

"Go on in, I had the ladies run a bath for you ages ago. But don't worry! It should still be warm."

He planned this. The little devil planned this out ahead of time. But what could you do? Even if you screamed, you weren't sure if that would help. Honey had just demonstrated that he didn't mind almost killing his little brother. You didn't want to put anyone that might be willing to help in danger.

So you walked in without a word. If it wasn't for the situation, you might have been blown completely away. Everything you saw was perfect. Your favorite (non lethal) flower petals were floating in the man made onsen. The onsen itself was very large for one person. Nearby the shower area was stocked with your favorite scented shampoos. There was even some music playing that you instantly recognized. On reflection the song "the principles of lust" scared the hell out of you now.

Timidly you started to remove your dress. Your spine was straight as you tried to keep your dignity. You were afraid that Honey would walk in with you. You weren't going to lie - you enjoyed the sensations he gave you even if they were the ones that you had been dreading coming from him. What you didn't enjoy was the atmosphere. Nor the fact that even if you had tried, you weren't sure Honey would have listened. Which felt really shitty. He claimed to love you in his delusion but he just didn't listen.

To your surprise though, Honey stayed out. Even though you took a long time washing yourself down. You honestly felt out of touch with your body as you watched. There was so much going on in your head that it was hard to focus. Was Kyouya aware of what Honey was doing to you? Was he aware of the engagement? Was Honey? Was that why he'd been so...forward? Where was Mori?

"Tori?"

You froze as you started to step into the onsen. Before you waited to see what he wanted, you quickly got into the tub. Honey walked in with his hand over his closed eyes.

"Get out Honey," you said quietly, your voice soft and filled with many different negative emotions.

"Don't worry! I won't look! Not until you tell me it's okay. I promise."

Like that was comforting to you at this point.

You scuffed to yourself at his declaration. But you kept your eyes on him just in case he tried something. He shuffled about with his eyes closed and one hand around them, not getting close to you.

"I just...I'm sorry Tori. I didn't mean for everything to happen so quick. When Kyouya told me that you were coming to see me, I got really excited. I had a full day planned! Full of everything you liked. But then my father wanted to talk with me about the special unit's training. And Chika got to you before I did."

"So you decided to strangle him."

"I lost control! I was so mad! I never lose control like that!" He tossed his hands into the air fervently, waving them about like a child who wanted attention. "It's really hard. Since I stopped taking Kyouya's suppressants and started taking the supplements, everything is so much harder. I'm angry almost all the time. My body hurts. I can't seem to eat enough of anything. And when I saw you...I just lost it. I'm so sorry Tori, I didn't mean to do everything that fast!"

You pinched your lips tightly together. You felt hurt and used. You were in no mood for his excuses.

"I can't seem to get a hang of this...desire," Honey admitted. It felt wrong to hear him use such a word. "I want you all the time now. If I'm not angry, I'm aching and longing for you. It's not even all about lust! A lot of the times it is...but sometimes I just want you to hold me. And laugh with me. Like the old days. Do you remember that? I miss that. But I just...I could stand to see you with Takashi. You were my little birdie and he was taking you away. And then I found out you were leaving! So I did some bad things to try and get you to stay at Ouran with me. But you stopped going to school. I tried over and over and nothing worked. I just got so frustrated. I wanted to prove to you that I can do everything Takashi could do but better. And it just went so wrong."

He kept bringing up Mori. But where was Mori?

"Everything I did made you hate me...you told me that you couldn't see me as a husband because you weren't attracted to me. That hurt me so much. I stopped taking the pills that help keep me looking so young last week but all of my aggression, my passion...the aches and pains...it's all so much. I want it to stop. The only time I've felt good this last week was when I was inside of you. You made me feel so good, so much better. But I messed that up too. And I just c-can't lose you."

Well...damn. What could you even say to all of that?

"I don't hate you Honey. I'm afraid of you. There's a difference. So you should stop," you responded. "Stop touching me inappropriately. Stop hurting people. Stop. And maybe we can go back to talking like we used to."

"But I want you," he said so kindly it was almost innocent.

"I don't hate you right now but I might end up hating you if you don't stop."

Honey's mouth was in a thin line. You saw his chin quiver. And then he squeezed his eyes tight as the tears started.