Unlocking My Love

Author: JadeHeart
Fandom: Gravitation
Warnings: bad language
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creator of ‘Gravitation’.


Unlocking My Love: Chapter 16

“Just wait a minute. I won’t be long,” Shuichi promised as he rushed past and disappeared into the dressing room.

Yuki made no move to follow him, electing to remain standing in the corridor. As much as it would have been nice to sit down and take it easy in a comfortable chair and away from the bustling activity of the after-concert clean up, it really wasn’t an option. All three members of Bad Luck shared the same dressing room, and watching Nakano and Fujisaki change clothes held absolutely no interest to him what-so-ever. In fact the mere thought of possibly seeing them naked made him shudder. Of course, seeing a hot, sweaty and flushed Shuichi naked was an entirely different matter!

He pushed that disturbing – in a nice way! – thought away, leaning back against the wall, hands delving deeper into the pockets of his coat. This was their third, and last, night in Osaka. Tomorrow the tour would be moving onto Kyoto, the third week would be taking in the cities of Nagoya and Yokohama, before culminating in Tokyo itself. By that time everyone would no doubt be exhausted.

Despite a concert every evening, he and Shuichi had actually managed to spend a reasonable amount of time together so far, for which he was very glad. After their visit to the aquarium, the following day they had roamed the city, going up to the Floating Garden Observatory, even though it was daylight and the best view was supposed to be at night. It was still quite spectacular.

As well as that they did a number of other more mundane things such as shopping, Shuichi on the prowl for further interesting ideas for his stage costumes. Yuki thought he looked quite sexy enough as it was. In fact almost too sexy, judging from some of the hot looks he had seen the concert goers give the singer, not to mention the overheard remarks. It had almost been enough for him to either want to punch the speakers to shut them up, or jump on stage and wrap Shuichi in his long coat to hide him completely from the view of any others. Totally irrational thoughts both of them, and fortunately he did not act upon either, but that didn’t mean that he hadn’t wanted to.

However, he managed to restrain himself from letting any of this show to Shuichi during their shopping spree and when the young man came out of the change rooms in clinging lycra or mesh shirts, he forced a grudging, ‘That looks okay,’ through his teeth, rather than demanding he purchase a ski suit instead.

As the afternoon had slipped away, they had finished that day off with a trip on the Santa Marie, the old sailing ship that cruised the bay. He had thought at first that Shuichi intended to drag him through the aquarium again, to which he was determined to refuse, as they arrived at the same area but all was well as they made their way instead towards the berthed ship. Shuichi happily took photos of the ship before they boarded, cajoling Yuki to smile for the snaps. He naturally refused.

However he did find the ship rather interesting, despite everything. It was his first time up close to such a ship and it immediately fired his imagination. He made mental notes of many things that he intended to jot down later that night as he was sure he could blend it into an upcoming book. It might not be his next one, but some where down the track he was sure these observations would come in handy.

Shuichi had gushed about the ship, rushing from place to place, opening doors, looking at everything, and more than once nearly tripping over something on deck because he was so intent on gazing up at the masts and rigging. Yuki had visions of having to rush his exuberant partner to the hospital just before his concert to get stitches or something. He’d look pretty funny going on stage in a cast!

Although he didn’t quite express his appreciation of the ship the way Shuichi did, as they stood on the upper deck even he had to admit that it was a little romantic as they sailed along the bay as the sun set.

There was one problem though in all this.

He had found out the hard way, much to his surprise and horror, that he and sailing were not compatible. Or at least not sailing in this type of ship, for his stomach had rebelled almost immediately upon setting foot on board.

He had been caught completely off-guard at the first flush of heat to his face and the sudden back flip his stomach performed. Swallowing manfully against the surge of bile that rushed up his throat, he clamped his lips together tightly and tried to push back the urge to throw up ignominiously all over the polished decking. Fortunately he’d had nothing to eat up to that point, at least not since breakfast, so there was little in his stomach to result in much mess but that still didn’t stop his stomach from attempting to purge itself countless times.

Shuichi had taken one look at his face and just stared, eye wide, mouth hanging open.

“What?” he had managed to garble out. One word was all he was able to manage for he feared if he kept his mouth open for too long he would vomit on the spot.

“Are you all right?” Shuichi peered up at him in concern. “You’ve gone a sort of….green colour.”

“No. I. Am. Not. All. Right.” he said in short clipped tones and fled to the bathroom on board.

This was not working out the way he had thought his afternoon with Shuichi would go.

To make matters worse, they were still accompanied by Nakano and Fujisaki whom he was beginning to think of as irritating and a rather bizarre choice of chaperones, and he hated the fact that they were witness to his moment of weakness.

“So what’s the peanut gallery doing?” he growled weakly from where he hung over the railing above decks with Shuichi solicitously hovering by his side.

“They’re just over there,” Shuichi replied, looking past his shoulder.

Yuki turned his head to follow his gaze and saw Hiro and Suguru talking quietly where they sat on a bench, the wind whipping their hair around their faces.

He scowled. They obviously weren’t bothered by motion sickness. His stomach gave another lurch and he clamped his teeth tightly together again. His jaw was beginning to ache with the effort of trying to prevent this instinctive reaction. And he had thought his ulcer gave him plenty of grief. That was a walk in the park compared to how wretched he felt at this moment.

“I’m sorry,” Shuichi said hurriedly, his words almost tripping over themselves. Yuki could hear the distress in his voice. “I had no idea you got sea sick or I’d never have suggested coming!”

“How could you have known when even I didn’t?” Yuki said bluntly. It was completely true. He had never actually got on a large boat before so he’d had no idea he would react like this. Great way to find out!

“But this was supposed to be a way for you to relax!” Shuichi was almost crying in his despair which only irritated Yuki further. He didn’t want to feel like it was his fault for upsetting Shuichi simply because he was the one sick.

“Look, it’s no-one’s fault,” He tried to soothe his partner, reaching out and pulling Shuichi closer so the young man’s head rested against his chest. “Neither of us knew this would happen. At least we do know now so we can avoid it in future. Hell, I can just take some medication beforehand next time.”

“But I’ve made you sick!” Shuichi repeated, pulling away once more although Yuki was glad he hadn’t seemed to have minded the loose hug.

“You’re going to make me sicker if you keep whining!” he half snapped, his discomfort making him short-tempered.

Shuichi’s mouth closed with an audible smack, obviously biting back whatever further lamentations he was going to make, and he took a further step backwards, widening the distance between himself and Yuki.

Damn it! Yuki thought. He hadn’t been trying to push Shuichi away!

He took a deep breath, both physically and mentally. “I’ll be fine once we land and that will be soon. I feel much better up here in the fresh air than cooped up downstairs. That’s probably what did it. So none of this is your fault at all and I don’t want you saying otherwise. Got it?”

Shuichi looked like he wanted to argue but Yuki repeated, “Got it?” in a steely voice and finally he nodded reluctant agreement and muttered, “Okay.”

“Good. Look,” and Yuki pointed away from the vessel. “There’s the berth so we’ll be off soon.”


Yuki shifted his shoulders under his coat at remembrance of that afternoon. It really had been rather wretched and a rotten way to end the day. He’d been unable to eat any dinner that evening although he had immediately begun to feel better as soon as he left the boat, even though his legs had felt almost rubbery and it took a little time before he felt that the ground wasn’t rocking under his feet.

As soon as he had returned to the hotel he laid down on his bed and fell asleep, not to awaken until a number of hours later to realise he had missed Shuichi’s concert. He had felt angry at himself for doing so, although he probably would have found the bass beat thumping up through the soles of his feet and bouncing through his innards unbearable at that time.

Still, he had intended to see Shuichi each night during his time with him. The whole point of him being here was to try and spend as much time as possible with him and as the concerts were a big part of Shuichi’s life he had planned to make certain he would be there for each of them. At least then he could ask intelligent questions about them to generate conversation between the two of them.

So the fact that he had missed this night’s annoyed him greatly and he had quietly cursed the boat trip.

Shuichi had returned not much later after his had awoken, quietly entering the room and looking surprised to see him up. When Yuki had tried speaking to him he had replied in a soft voice, urging him to go back to sleep, treating him as though he were a sick invalid or some such. He tried to tell Shuichi that he felt fine now but the singer had simply smiled indulgingly as though he were a child, and completed his ablutions quickly and quietly, before climbing into bed and flicking the lights off and plunging the room into darkness to emphasis the point that it was time to sleep. He’d had little choice then but to follow suit for he sensed that if he tried to push the conversation it might only degenerate into an argument and he couldn’t have faced that.

So that had been their disastrous second day together.

Today, their third, they had managed to spend only a short time together as there was far more for everyone connected to the tour to do to ensure the move to Kyoto the following day went smoothly. The meetings had begun early in the morning and were still running well into the afternoon, with a number of interviews and photo shoots occurring also.

Yuki had decided to hang around at the concert venue rather than sitting aimlessly at the hotel. He had awoken at the same time as Shuichi this day and so had watched as the singer has bustled around getting ready and they had managed to share a quick breakfast together.

Shuichi had appeared quite normal which had relieved Yuki. He didn’t know if the younger man would have still been feeling upset about the way yesterday’s excursion had ended or if perhaps he might have been upset that Yuki didn’t get to the concert. Yuki wasn’t quite certain if he didn’t feel a little disgruntled that Shuichi didn’t appear to have missed his presence at the concert last night.

When Shuichi had explained that he might not be able to get time off today Yuki had quickly asked to accompany him. Shuichi had at first looked surprised but then had smiled brightly.

“Of course you can come if you want!” he had said with enthusiasm. “But what are you going to do while you’re waiting?”

Yuki had shrugged, standing and picking up his jacket and small briefcase. “I’ve got some notes to write up,” he had said. “so I’ve got enough to keep me busy.”

“Okay,” Shuichi said, following him to the door. “I just don’t want you to be bored.”

“I’ll be fine,” Yuki assured him as they descended to the lobby and strode out to the waiting car.

He had been glad of his snap decision. At least if he was close by there was the chance that he would still be able to catch Shuichi in between meetings which is exactly what they had done. Shuichi would exit the meeting room at a run, smiling when he spotted Yuki still sitting calmly on the couch nearby, notebook on his knee, pen in hand.

“Are you up for another coffee?” he would ask brightly to which Yuki would respond as he stood, “Always,”

They had sat together over their coffee, sometimes with cake to supplement the beverage, and just talk. Sometimes it was discussing what was to come with the tour, sometimes about their more recent sightseeing, sometimes the distant past of their time together.

They even found themselves reminiscing about their time in Quebec of all things. Shuichi spent some time asking rather pointed questions about Yuki’s search for him; what had happened, who had helped him, and so on. He had been surprised, and not a little uncomfortable in responding to these queries. He had never liked talking about himself, or his feelings, and some of what Shuichi was questioning churned up emotions that he didn’t enjoy having come to the fore once again and made him more than a little embarrassed and self-conscious.

He began to wonder what had sparked Shuichi’s sudden interest in this aspect of the past. They really hadn’t spoken about that time since their return to Japan and it seemed so unexpected for Shuichi to be raising it now.

Yuki fully accepted that North America was a part of Shuichi’s past and memories but he still didn’t like hearing about that time. It was a time in Shuichi’s life that he didn’t really know about or understand for he hadn’t shared it with him. It made him feel like a stranger. Still he tried not to let Shuichi know this as he listened to the other speak of places and people that he didn’t know, laughing over memories, sounding a little melancholy when speaking of seeming friends, smiling gently over happy thoughts. It was disturbing to feel like an outsider, only able to listen to this part of Shuichi’s life and having no real understanding of it. It was still more than disturbing every time Shuichi mentioned his time with Annette, and Yuki couldn’t prevent the flare of jealousy each time her name was brought up. But he realised it was not his place to say anything. It was in the past and there was nothing he could do to change it, so he had better learn to accept and live with that aspect of Shuichi’s past.

Shuichi suddenly broke off mid-sentence as he saw the time on the clock in the cafeteria and had rushed off to get ready for his concert, with a smile and wave to Yuki and a demand for him to remain and see the show.

Yuki had acknowledged him and allowed himself to be escorted to the seat set up at the side of the stage. He didn’t see any need to be out in the crowd again, he could remain behind the scenes and see and hear just as well. Why should he have to fight the milling masses and put up with screams of adulation in his ears when he didn’t have to? Besides, he believed he had a much better view of Shuichi from this close vantage point than from out in the stands.

Shuichi had finally been able to leave the stage after standing ovations, numerous encores and pandering to pleading, screaming fans. Yuki was just glad when the last of them had been ushered out, even a little forcefully, so Shuichi could finally be with him.

Now he waited once more for Shuichi to join him.

“Sorry,” a breathless voice uttered at his elbow.

He glanced down at Shuichi’s flushed face, cheeks red from being scrubbed to remove the last of the stage make-up, hair damp and mussed from being dried quickly with a towel no doubt. He found he was liking the orange streaks in the hair now, they sort of grew on you. He noticed that there was a small dark smudge around one eye where Shuichi obviously hadn’t fully managed to wipe away the eyeliner and his hand itched to reach out and remove it but he held himself back. It wasn’t like it was really noticeable and he didn’t want Shuichi to think that he was taking liberties again. Still he was hard pressed not to touch the face before him. It was still a beautiful face.

And he still found the look Shuichi wore after a concert very, very cute – and very alluring.

“No problem,” he finally managed to reply. He pushed away from the wall and began to walk towards the exit, Shuichi falling into step beside him.

“Are you very tired?” Shuichi suddenly asked.

Yuki glanced down at him, one eyebrow rising. “Not really,” he replied honestly, wondering at Shuichi’s question.

“Then are you okay if we make a stop on the way home?”

Yuki shrugged. “I suppose,”

“Good,” Shuichi said with a smile and firm nod as though he had been hoping the answer would be in the positive. Yuki was seriously beginning to wonder just what the singer was up to.

They slid into the waiting car, unobtrusively parked by a side door in the hope of avoiding the die-hard fans still lurking in the darkness around the venue in the hope of catching a glimpse of their idols. They managed to make a clean get-away and sped off into the late night.

Yuki couldn’t really tell where they were going as they drove the dark streets. In the dark it was hard to tell what direction they were taking and he wasn’t that familiar with Osaka to be able to identify any clear landmarks and get his bearings. He did realise that they obviously weren’t heading for the hotel as it was taking much longer than it had previously. He also noted that Shuichi hadn’t given any directions to the driver since they had entered the vehicle so he had obviously primed the chauffeur beforehand. That made him even more curious. Just where on earth was Shuichi taking them?

Finally the vehicle slowed to a stop, the engine ceasing.

“Here we are,” Shuichi said, turning to him with a smile as he opened his door. “Come on.”

Yuki exited also and looked around, taking note of the surroundings. Now he was even more curious about what Shuichi was up to because they were back at the aquarium once more. His stomach rumbled in fear. Shuichi didn’t intend to subject him to that boat again, did he?!

“This way,”

Yuki turned to see Shuichi heading away, thankfully, from the route to the waterfront so he followed, quickly catching up with him with his longer stride.

It was then that he saw there was another person in the shadows ahead of them. He slowed his steps a little, wary, and wondering if they were about to be the subject of a mugging but Shuichi simply raised a hand and waved which the person returned. Obviously Shuichi knew them, although they were not anyone that Yuki could remember seeing associated with the tour.

“Is everything still okay?” Shuichi questioned the man as they drew near.

He nodded with a smile to them both. “Not a problem. This way.”

Shuichi threw a reassuring smile in Yuki’s direction as he followed the man up some steps and along a walk way.

“Just wait here a moment whilst I get it started.” The man said to them before disappearing into the darkness again.

He and Shuichi were alone for only a moment when Yuki heard the sound of motors, loud in the silence. Before he could ask Shuichi about it suddenly a multitude of lights turned on all around him, blinding him for a moment so he had to blink rapidly and turn his head away from the onslaught.

He squinted through the brightness and saw the walkway before him all lit up and leading to a sight that stunned him. Before him was a ferris wheel, slowly beginning to rotate, the carriages swinging by like tiny pendulums. He knew this ferris wheel had been around here. It was a little hard to miss with the size of it as it stood out against the Osaka skyline, the Tempozan Giant Ferris Wheel He remembered seeing it from the boat yesterday as well. However, he had only seen it during the day and he was sure that it didn’t usually operate this late at night.

He looked across at Shuichi who was smiling, a little smugly it seemed, by his side.

“Come on,” Shuichi said, motioning with his head and making his way to the carriages along the marked aisle. The man who had met them was already waiting there.

Yuki followed and ducked to enter into the swinging carriage after Shuichi as the door was closed behind them by the attendant. He settled back, sitting opposite Shuichi as they began to rise into the night sky.

Shuichi was still ginning at him like it had been permanently tattooed on. “I arranged this especially just for us.” he said, finally satisfying Yuki’s curiousity. “They agreed to run it outside of normal operating hours and we can have it for as long as we like. Of course, I am paying a premium for this but,” he shrugged. “I thought it was worth it.”

Yuki leant back a little further and crossed his legs. A pity he couldn’t smoke. “So what made you do this?” he asked.

Shuichi didn’t answer immediately, instead turned his head to look out the side window at the twinkling lights extending to the darkened horizon. “I…..wanted to try and do something nice for you. I mean after yesterday when you were so sick on the boat I felt bad about that so I wanted to make it up to you.”

“I told you that wasn’t your fault.”

Shuichi shrugged a little as he faced him again. “I know, but I still felt bad.” A look of horror suddenly crossed his face. “You don’t suffer from vertigo, do you?!”

Yuki rolled his eyes. “No. I don’t. So chill out.”

“Oh,” Shuichi breathed with relief. “That’s good.”

Yuki looked out his window, admiring the way the lights flickered on the water below.

“So, do you like it?”

He turned at Shuichi’s question. “What? This little jaunt?”

“Well, yeah. What else do you think I’d be talking about?!” Shuichi responded a little indignantly.

Yuki turned to the window. “Yeah. It’s fine.”

“Geez, Yuki! Can’t you sound a little more enthused about things?” Shuichi sounded completely exasperated. “Sometimes I don’t know why I bother!” Yuki turned to see him cross his arms with a humph, slumping in his corner of the car.

He searched his mind for something to say to take that pout away from Shuichi’s face, although he did find it rather cute. However the only thing he kept finding himself thinking was that he wanted to lean over and kiss it away but he didn’t feel it was the right time to do that.

Instead he said, “This was a good idea.”

He fumbled a little more, trying to put some feeling behind his words although he had always been better at showing his feelings than speaking them, and considering he had spent most of his adult life as an emotional eunuch, that wasn’t saying much. “I hadn’t expected you to do something like this. Thanks.”

Shuichi just turned his head to look at him, still maintaining the same disgruntled posture, obviously not fully convinced of Yuki’s sincerity.

“It’s a great view. And it’s all just for us. I doubt many people could boast of being able to do this. So you’ve done something really special.” He struggled to find a way to finish things off. “It’s nice.” He finally said rather lamely.

He saw Shuichi roll his eyes but at least his arms uncrossed and he sat in a more natural pose.

“You never could sound like you really meant what you said, except for sometimes. I had thought you were beginning to get better at doing so but you seemed to have relapsed.” Shuichi stated.

“I’m out of practice,” Yuki replied. “No-one to practice on.” He added, and then wondered if he should have said that.

“Well, you’re going to have to practice more.” Shuichi said firmly. “That can be your homework, so from now on you have to express yourself properly and say how you really feel. None of this half-assed way that you normally do. It’s really annoying you know.”

“I don’t generally have to say that sort of stuff to people.” Yuki defended himself.

“Then you have to practice every time you’re with me.” Shuichi stated, frowning at him. “I don’t want to hear any of your usual crap, right?”

“I don’t speak crap!”

“You do when it’s not really what you’re feeling!”

Yuki wisely shut up then. Shuichi did have a point after all and it wasn’t going to get him anywhere if they continued arguing over such a stupid thing.

“Fine,” he finally said, slouching in his seat.

“Don’t sulk,” Shuichi said.

“I’m not,”

“Yes, you are!”

Yuki glared at the man opposite him, meeting a matching glare and they remained like that in silence for a moment. Then Shuichi suddenly crossed his eyes and stuck his tongue out at him. The sudden change in facial expression surprised him so much that he let out an involuntary guffaw.

“See, that’s more like it,” Shuichi smirked at him as the mood lightened once more. “You need to go with the flow.”

By this time they had reached the zenith of their circular trip.

“Oh, wow!” Shuichi pressed his face up against the glass, looking out into the night sky.

The ferris wheel began to slow, before stopping completely and they hung suspended, swaying slightly, seeming at the top of the world. They were then plunged into darkness and Yuki wondered if something had gone wrong and they would be stranded here mid-air.

“Don’t worry,” he heard Shuichi say in the darkness. He could begin to make out the other’s features near him as his eyes became accustomed to the dim lighting from the illumination coming from other buildings around them. “The attendant said that he would do this so we would have a good chance to look around.” He saw the flash of white as Shuichi smiled. “He said it’s normally something you would do for dating couples but he didn’t think we would mind.”

“I don’t mind,” Yuki assured him, turning to look out the back window as well. It certainly was a good view.

“Yuki,”

“Yeah,” he replied absently, still looking outside.

“Have you really liked being here the past few days?”

He turned around in surprise, wondering why Shuichi was asking him.

“’Course I have!” he replied firmly, hoping to dispel any doubts the other had. “Why didn’t you think I would have?”

“We haven’t really been able to spend much time together, with the meeting and concerts and all. Not to mention the places I’ve dragged you out to haven’t really turned out that great.”

“They’ve been okay,” he replied. “Except for the boat.” he replied honestly.

“Yeah, that was a bit of a downer, wasn’t it? I really had no idea you were going to get sick.”

“Like I said, neither did I. It’s not like I’ve ever spent a lot of time on the water before now so I hadn’t realised either. Live and learn.”

“I’m glad you’re okay with this.”

“You’ve done good here,” Yuki complimented him. “I honestly do like it.” he managed to say.

Shuichi chuckled. “You make that sound like you’re saying it under duress.”

“I’m not,” he hurried to assure him, cursing his own inability to say what he truly meant.

“I know. I’m just teasing.”

Yuki growled at him which just made Shuichi laugh again.

“So you will still be coming with us to Kyoto?” Shuichi asked.

“Yeah, I can do that.”

“I’m glad.”

They sat in silence for a moment, wrapped in darkness, rocking slightly with the wind. It was a comfortable silence, a silence that could only be found between two people who were in tune with each other. It was the first time that Yuki truly felt that between them since their new beginnings.

“Yuki?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m glad you came,” Shuichi said softly.

Yuki looked over at him, seeing the small smile on his face.

“I’m glad we could spend this time together again. It’s been good.” Shuichi continued.

“Me too.” he replied, feeling as though his throat was closing up with those heartfelt words.

“I still don’t know really where we are going,” Shuichi then said, still in an almost whisper. “But I’m glad to have been able to spend this time together with you.”

Yuki didn’t know whether to be worried that Shuichi wasn’t indicating a total commitment to getting back together, or pleased that he seemed so happy to have spent time with him. The conflict of these emotions made his stomach ache.

“You’ve done so much for me,” Shuichi continued. “I guess I’m still only just realising how much the more I talk with you. I’ll never be able to thank you for all that. You really did give me back my life.”

He turned to the window, raising a hand to trace random patterns on the glass. “I still have trouble coming to terms with some things. I still find a lot of stuff confusing, trying to reconcile my time in North America and here. I feel that I know my past and present, even though some things are almost contradictory at times, but my future? I’m not sure what that is or where it’s going. They say the future is shaped by your past and present but if that’s the case all I can say is that my future looks to be pretty murky.”

“You’ll be okay,” Yuki put in quietly, hoping to provide some reassurance although he wasn’t even sure if Shuichi was seeking that from him.

“I know I will be,” Shuichi agreed. “I know I’ll be fine no matter what. But it’s that uncertainty.”

“Everyone’s future is uncertain,” Yuki said. “That’s the nature of it being the future. You can’t predict it or everything would become pretty damn boring. We all have to just see where it goes and what comes of it.”

“Even you?” Shuichi asked with a small smile for him.

“Even me.”


“I thought you had everything planned out. You’re already famous and settled with everything. Surely you don’t have to worry about the future any more?”

“There are some things that I can’t control. Important things.” he grudgingly admitted.

“Guess everyone is the same then,” Shuichi said, returning to the window.

Yuki didn’t know what else to say.

“Anyway,” Shuichi’s voice was a little brighter when he spoke once more. “I’m still really glad you’re here and I’ve been having a lot of fun. We are going to still be able to see each other when I get back to Tokyo, right?”

“Of course,” Yuki hurriedly replied, feeling his whole body tingle at Shuichi’s outright request to continue seeing him.

“Good! There’s heaps more I want to talk to you about so you had better plan on lots of late nights!”

“I might even cook sometimes,” Yuki said.

“Oh, goody! I’ll put in my orders before I’m coming round!”

“What am I?” Yuki complained. “A fast-food outlet?”

“Nah, your cooking is way better than that!”

“You’d better eat every damn thing on your plate in that case!”

“Don’t I always?” Shuichi declared.

“Just make certain you do!”

They were suddenly both startled by resounding metallic clunks and the carriage swayed violently for a moment.

“Whoa!” Shuichi said, grabbing for his seat so as not to be pitched forward. “I guess we’re on the move again.”

“Looks that way,” Yuki agreed, as they began to move once more although the lights hadn’t come back on yet.

He met Shuichi’s gaze for a moment and saw the other smile at him.

“It’s been a great night, Yuki. Thanks.”

Yuki struggled to try and find words to reciprocate, mindful of what Shuichi had said to him just earlier about expressing himself with more feeling. He tried, he honestly did, but he just couldn’t think of any to actually convey everything he was feeling to Shuichi in a way that wouldn’t come out sounding awkward or downright creepy.

Shuichi sitting opposite him was obviously expecting him to say something, but was beginning to look a little puzzled at his delay.

He scrubbed his hands through his hair in frustration.

“Oh, fuck it!” he finally snapped.

He raised one hand, reaching across the distance separating them to slide the palm of it across Shuichi’s smooth cheek. He saw Shuichi’s eyes widen but he didn’t pull away as Yuki leant forward.

Yuki pressed his lips against Shuichi’s forehead, letting them linger there for a moment against the soft skin, let his thumb lightly caress the cheek it rested on, feeling the hair tickle his nose a little.

“Thank you,” he whispered into the hair, feeling the warmth of the body so near to his.

He leant back, letting his hand fall away from Shuichi’s face, wondering if once again he had over stepped the boundaries and just ruined everything. But it was all he could do, the only way to express even a portion of what he was truly feeling.

As he drew his hand back towards his own side of the carriage Shuichi suddenly reached up and grasped it, holding it tightly. Yuki felt his fingers wrapping around his, halting his withdrawal.

He met Shuichi’s gaze, seeing a soft smile spread over the other’s face as he leant forward so his elbows rested comfortably on his knees. After a moment Yuki followed suit, mirroring the pose so their hands remained locked before them, joining them across that small distance that separated them still.