Forever Mine

The last and final chapter.

Chapter Fifthteen: One thing left to Do


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The sun couldn’t have been any brighter as the rays of a overly blinding brilliance beamed through his sheet-covered window hitting his face thus causing the shinigami to grimace against the offending light, not to mention the enormous headache pounding in his head.
The man surely was in no mood to get up and face the upcoming day. He groans moving himself from his covers. Surprisingly, he felt a cold drift throughout his whole body only to discover that he was without clothes.

“How on earth?! Did me and Watari...no, I must've passed out. What an idiot. I must've seemed so desperate throwing myself at him like that. How embarrassing.”

The purple-eyed shinigami gets up from the bed stretching as a loud yawn escaped his mouth. Rubbing his arms for warmth as goosebumps appeared on them, he walked into his bathroom. A chill runs up his spine as the goosebumps increased more. It wasn’t the goosebumps that got his attention but the feeling he got when he looked in the mirror. The reflection looking back at him looked worn out and sickly. Miserable and alone that would better discribe it.

"Watari took care of me, even in the state I was in. He tried to comfort me and make things better. But in spite of it, I don’t think it helped the situation any better. I still feel and look like shit. Now with a added hangover.”

After a long, hot shower the guardian got ready for work. As he slipped on his coat, a small envelope falls out. The guardian eyed the piece of paper dejectedly then hesistly picked it up. Remembering who had given him this envelope it causes him to let out a huge sigh.

He wanted to forget that whole day even existed. But the letter was just an added reminder of just how miserably real that day was, and how truly lonely he felt. The guardian made his way to the kitchen, placing the disturbing envelope on the table. Being his normal daily routine he would usually cook himself something to eat, but today he wasn’t hungry. In fact, the thought of food made him feel even worse than what he was already feeling.

Going to the cabinet, he shrugged at remembering what had happened last night but manages to shake it off and grabs a cup and a small baggy to make himself some tea. Tsuzuki goes and sits down at the table staring at the white pristine envelope seeing his name graved in pen staring back at him he snorted.

“Why don’t I just throw you away? Or stop looking at it so much."

He gulped down the warm tea and bats an evil eye at the offending stationary as if giving it would make the envelope run away or wither into nothingness. He wanted to read it, his conscious was telling him to but why then was he so scared to do it? It was just a simple letter written to him by the man that he loved before...before his death.

Tsuzuki pushed the chair back abruptly, walking back to the kitchen. He pours himself some more tea but seemingly his eyes continuesly look back at the envelope mocking him to open it. Not paying attention his tea over fills spilling everywhere.

"Damn it!"

He slammed the cup down and walks over to the letter picking it up and throwing it away. The guardian glances at it one last time before walking out the door.

"No."

He stops himself before he had the chance to close it all the way and goes back inside. Regretting what he had just done. the shinigami lifts the envelope out of the basket and opens it up hurridly. Urgently, tearing the envelope wrapping a cream colored stationery is revealed.

Asato,

If you are reading this letter, then I am no longer here. I do hope you understand my decision in this. And that you do not hate me for making it. I always wanted to prove how much I truly loved you and being that my past was not a great start for us I only ever wanted to love you. I was content with that, you know. With you at my side, I couldn’t have been happier. It was once said to me that when your loved one dies, the other one becomes hurt and sometimes blames them for leaving or even themselves. I know you well enough to see you being that person.

Asato, please don’t. Neither one of us has done anything wrong. It is time for you to move on but to face the truth, my love. Don’t you dare hide your feelings. It is not good for you. Remember that even if I’m not there physically I am always there within your heart.

The ink started to smear as the guardians tears fell.

"So like you, Muraki, to touch a soft spot, you asshole."

He continued to read more.

I trust that if you have received this letter you have meet my servant, Sakaki. He is awaiting your arrival to your new home. He is a good man, Asato. I have had him at my side for many years. If you do decide to go, please do take care of him.

Please do not run from this. I know it hurts but you have to be strong for me as I believe you can be. Holding it in and hiding it will only build up within you until you snap. And I don’t want that. Do you understand? I don’t want you to go into that deep dark place you once were. I didn’t leave this world just so you could end yours. Let your emotions out. Embrace them because it will be the only way you can ever heal from it.

I love you, Asato. Always and Forever.

K

Tsuzuki folded the paper placing it in his pocket.

"I think it’s a little too late for that, Kaza."

The guardian goes to his phone and dials a number. From Watari’s extensive research, Tsuzuki was able to obtain a great deal of information on his arch nemesis and the one great advantage to a whole lot of prank calling. A certain someone's phone number.

"Hello, this is Terazuma speaking." The voice sounding as usual annoyed.

“Terazuma?”

"Tsuzuki."

Even more annoyed, which was pretty amazing for the ex-cop given he was pretty much annoyed already.

“Wait! Wait! Don’t hang up, please!"

His voice sounding utterly pathetic despite it was his arch nemesis he was talking to.

“What is it!” the former police officer on the verge to press that single button that gives the other line a fimilar noise called the dial tone.

"Terazuma, I know we are not on good terms with each other but I need you to do me a favor. Wait before you protest just hear me out, okay? I promise you‘ll never have to deal with me again.”

There was a long silence then a growl followed by an irritated voice finally answered back.

"I’m listening! You’ve got five seconds”

“If anyone asks, tell them I‘m not coming in."

There simple as that.

“Why don‘t you tell them yourself?”

You bastard! I’m telling you for a reason that’s why. Okay. Calm down, Tsuzuki. You don’t want him to hang up on you.

“Because I know you won't question my motive, you won't. Please.”

“And what‘s in it for me?” the ex cop sneered mockingly.

“The freedom to know that I am not going to be a thorn in your side anymore.”

"So your leaving Meifu, huh? You really thinking about doing it?”

Tsuzuki could hear that the other man was sipping on something, probably his morning coffee with a hit of whisky. At least he could have mixed his whisky in something better then coffee like orange juice perhaps.

"No. Not thinking. I pretty much have my mind made up."

“Well, whatever it is, it‘s your life. I will see what I can do."

“Thank you. Oh! And Terazuma. If you see Watari tell him I’m sorry.”

The phone was soon heard by a click.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Konoe had many of his fellow employees walk into his office either to be yelled at or assigned to a new case. Some even requested to see him about cases and time off, but never had he had a request like this.
The old man looked at Hisoka with concern.

“Hisoka, I just can’t let you go and..."

“Please, Chief! I would not ask such a request if it didn’t mean something to me."

Konoe smiled at the boy and walks toward the door.

“It is because of Tsuzuki, isn’t it?"

"No, Chief. It is because I want to. For me. I know that things will never change the fact of what happened in my past and honestly I think the reason why I held onto my hatred for so long was because I didn’t want to let it go. But I learned that sometimes you just have to let go to move forward. Even if it means that the someone you love can’t. Perhaps it means he doesn’t want to and as insane as it might sound, I find that he shouldn’t have to either. So maybe your right. Maybe it is for Tsuzuki. But it is my choice."

“You have a very good heart, Hisoka. A brave one at that. Are you sure this is what you want?“

He touches the young shinigami shoulder looking into green eyes.

“Yes.”


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The sky was clouded over and seemed the perfect theme for what was in front of the guardians eyes. The large beautiful building towering above him only brought back those memories of first coming here. A part of him wanted to run away and never look back but he had to face it no matter how hard it hurt. A gust of wind blew his jacket causing a pattern of wavering fabric behind him as he approached the door.
He stood there what seemed like forever not knowing why he was doing this, if he could even handle it. But something inside him told him to push that button and before his brain could register what he had just done, the door slowly opened.

The guardian was staring down at the same man he had seen at the funeral,
but somehow he seemed much older and seemed to swagger a bit when he stepped back to let him in.

“Ah, Master Tsuzuki. Please do come in. I am so glad you have finally decided to come. May I take your coat?”

The old man gestures to take it but Tsuzuki walked passed paying him no heed.

"No. No thank you."

The shinigami walked further into the house unintentionally looking into the den. The same place he was that night of first being in this house. Of first meeting Muraki’s fiancee. Visions of that night became a clear view in front of him. The reenactment so realistic.

"Kaza, I'm...I’m sorry. I should have left. I don’t mean to be a burden.”

The beautiful man he only known to be his lover walked over toward his double.

"Asato, I am here with you, am I not?"

"But she is..."

“Stop it!"

Tsuzuki’s eyes widened at seeing that man he loved so much hold his double in his arms.

"You are the world to me, Asato.”

“Stop it!”

The guardian quickly turns his head away, his breathing somewhat erratic. Why did I just see that? All right, Asato. Pull your self together. You can handle this.

“Are you all right, Master Tsuzuki?”

"Umm, yes. I just need to sit down, somewhere besides here”

He clutches his forehead as the headache started to come back from earlier.

The butler brings him to a room almost bare to the rest of the house with little furnishing. Two small couches and another fireplace accented the room from looking so empty. There was many book shelves and a door leading out to a patio.

“Will this room do, sir?”

“Yes I-I’m sorry if I seem a little..."

Tsuzuki sits on the chair leaning forward to rest his arms on his knees.

“There is no need to be sorry, young master. You don’t seem to be quite ready for this.”

The young guardian clinches his forehead trying to lessen the throbbing pain in his head.

“I’m not. This all seems so unreal to me.”

“Which is perfectly understandable, it is hard to lose a loved one.”

The older man takes a seat in the chair across from Tsuzuki.

‘Do you miss him.?“

The shinigami asked yet his thoughts seeming to be elsewhere as he looks at the floor in front of him.

“Very much so. The young master would always keep me company on his nights off having many conversantions with me. Mainly about you.”

“Me?"

The shinigami looked at the man staring directly at him. His eyes looking to question the older mans words.

“You are a very special person to him, you know. Ever since he was a child he held you in his heart. He would speak of meeting you one day and sweeping you off your feet. I believe it was only when he would have a conversation about you that I truly seen him happy. You made him happy, Master Tsuzuki.”

“What could I possible hold that could make someone like him happy I never understood.”

“Happiness is something you don’t have to understand it just is, like love. Why was it you fell in love with Master Muraki?”

The guardian's hand touches his chest for comfort. those words hit a chord in his chest that he couldn’t explain. The same feeling he felt when he finally did realize he loved Muraki.

“Because he…he understood me. Made me feel complete. He made...me...hap-py. He made me very happy. And now I feel so empty...alone.“

“And it took away your happiness, didn’t it?” The old man added.

“Yes." His hands clenched into his fists at his response.

“But you are still here, aren’t you? You can still be happy.It is only up to you on how you decide on doing that."

What was this guy? Some kind of therapist? What does he know...

“It is hard, you know. To let him go. But everybody is telling me that this feeling will come to pass and I can move on. I know I can but I don’t want to."

Tsuzuki gets up from the chair and walks over to the fireplace. He didn’t want to have this dicussion any more.

"Is that what you really want? Do you really think that is what Muraki would have wanted?”

The old man hears a clank on the mantlepiece and notices the shinigami turn abruptly toward him. Knowing he must of hit a sensitive subject on the shinigami.

“It doesn’t matter what he wants! He is not here now, is he!”

His eyes rage the guardian realized he was a little harsh and calmed down now looked at the old man apologetically .

“I..Im sorry.”

The old man rose to his feet

“It is quite all right. I could only imagine what you must be feeling. I can not argue the point. The master was so good to me, and to be sitting here next to the one person that has made him happy is an honor in itself.”

Tsuzuki looked over toward a picture of a younger Muraki. He was so beautiful even then. The guardian slowly ran his finger down the cool glass of the picture.

Sakaki could see the sadness in the man's eyes and suggested to change the subject.

"Would you like some tea, sir?"

Tsuzuki puts the picture back up and smiles at the man.

“No, thank you.”

The older man then noticed that Tsuzuki was walking over toward the patio looking at the garden.

“This rose garden once used to be filled with lush flowers. It was the young master's most prize thing to do is come out to his garden and tend to these roses, Tsuzuki touched one of the wilting flowers.

"They're dying."

“They do not have hands to care for them. Perhaps it’s not to late to bring them back to life.”

The old man touched the guardian's shoulder. He could feel the man stiffen under his touch. But left it there anyway.

"Life."

Tsuzuki crushed the rose in his hand at hearing those simple words.

"Yeah. So simple it is to bring a flower back to life.”

He squeezed the rose harder causing its thorns to pierce through his flesh. Sakaki just didn’t know how much those words truly did affect the shinigami. Tsuzuki knew that he couldn’t bring his lover back, Lord Enma had made it clear.

“I……I need to be alone.”

The older man removed his hand.

“Very well, sir. If there is anything."

He just seen the young man tip his head in response.

Sakaki bowed his head even though he knew the guardian wasn’t watching and took his leave. He turned to glance at the shinigami one last time The man's eyes filled with that same sadness .

"You poor soul. I can only imagine what you have been through. How it must be hurting you inside. Perhaps it is better this way if you do decide to do it.”

Tsuzuki walked the path through dead leaves and wilting flowers crushing them underfoot. The noise similar to that of crushing bones .

“This garden once held beauty but now is nothing more than a graveyard.“

There were no sounds of birds chirping or beautiful colors to gaze at. All that was seen was brown mixed with dirt and decay,

"Like my soul.”

He reached a pond. The only thing that seemed alive.

"Seems to fit perfect that it would still flow with water. Even though all these flowers are dead around it this pond stands alive...alone."

Alone.

“You were selfish to take away the one thing that made me happy, Kaza. But I-I have tried to move forward and it’s so hard.”

His hands where shaking despite himself trying to control his emotions. Just seeing everything again to know that his lover once walked these grounds day by day. He closed his eyes taking in a deep breath. Barely audible he whispered..

“I can’t…….”

Opening his eyes again he stares beyond the pond out to nowhere. His voice straining a choked cry, trying to keep the tears from running down his face.

“I can’t, I just can’t do it. I can’t live like this, not without you. You know why I have come here. You know why I have chosen here more then anywhere else. If I cannot have you in my life then there is no point in living. I will burn everything. All the memories. All of it...all of me, until there is nothing left.”

He knew his decision. His friends wouldn’t understand. They told him he had to move on. even his beloved Kaza said it. Well, it wasn’t that easy. It wasn’t something you could just forget. Nothing was going to be the same again in Meifu or here. He could play the game of the joker all the while but it still didn’t make up the fact that inside his heart he was bleeding.

He just wanted the pain to go away. A pain so dense that physical torture could never compare to it. To visit those happy moments in your mind only to wake up in reality and notice that there not there, that they never will be again. Oh god! It hurt. And to know it could have been prevented if he just didn’t go to Kaza that night.

I could've went home and I would've healed. I would have been okay. Then I could've seen him and everything would have been fine, right? It would have been fine. He knew he was talking nonsense he knew that it was on impulse that he went to Muraki that night.

"Ha..ha ha!" He laughs as his mind reaches far beyond sane.

"How funny it is that fate has a way of doing things. Well, today fate will have its way again.”

The guardian raised his hands towards the sky to call upon the only shikigami that would ease this hurt and send him to his finally resting place.

“From the black flames I call forth the glimmering heat that slithers like a snake from the heav...”

Just then a small breeze picks up and a tiny red rose petal blows passed him and into the pond. He freezes looking at the rose.

"It can’t be."

A tiny tear falls from his face. Something was different.

"No."

Anger set in. It was the wind playing tricks on him again just like on the Queen Cammilia.

“Damn you! Stop playing games with my hea..”

He turns around, outraged only to throw his hand up to his face in disbelief.

“Kaza…?”

Is my mind playing tricks?

The guardian could see a beautiful white angel standing by one of the now blooming sakura trees. His eyes starts to tear up as he stands there just staring at that beautiful angel looking back at him. Without thinking he runs to the white clothed man and hugs him tightly.

"Oh god! Is this real? Are you!?” The shinigami kisses him all over the face.

"Please tell me your real! If not, I don’t want this to ever end! Please!”

But there was no answer.

"Oh god, Kaza!"

The tears just kept falling .

"Please! Tell me I’m not dreaming!"

The guardian bites his lip looking at his beautiful lover but still there was no response. Tsuzuki falls to his knees crying into his palms.

"You-you can’t be real! You're just another trick my mind is playing on me! Another one of my...”

Tsuzuki feels a hand take away his from his tear drenched face and the face of his beloved now at his eye level looking just as shocked as his own.

“Asato. Asato, I’m real. This is real.“ He touches the man's hands to his face.

Asato begins to sob even more as he feels the soft touch of his lover's face and wet tears run down it. He touches it wiping the tears away.

“Kaza...”

Without another word he throws his arms around the older man and cries uncontrollable.

“Oh god! You are real! This isn’t a dream!”

The shinigami squeezes tighter.

"I don’t want to ever let go! If I do I might lose you again."

The angel runs his fingers through his lover's hair. Still shocked himself that this was his Asato in his arms.

“No, Asato. I will never let you go. Ever.”


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The day after.
“Tsuzuki looks healthier than ever.”

Watari observes Tatsumi looking out the window.

“It seems that way.”

The scientist could see the way his friend was staring out that window like he was distracted by it, soon to discover as the blonde walks to the window himself. He sees what had the secretary attention.

“Tatsumi is there something on your mind care to share?”

Tatsumi doesn’t move his gaze from the sight outside.

“Well, Watari I never thought Hisoka would have done something like that you know, forgive Muraki.”

Watari sighed looking at the two lovers by the sakuaka tree that had Tatsumi eye so fixed on them.

“Tatsumi, sometimes when you love somebody enough you learn to forgive. Hisoka just wanted to make Tsuzuki happy. I think that goes for you, too.”

“What?”

Finally got the other man's attention.

“I know something had to have happened between you and Tsuzuki. You two have been acting strange toward each other. It’s obvious."

“I just don’t understand how Tsuzuki could love someone like Muraki.”

Watari walked over to Tatsumi's desk sitting down.

“It’s not for you to understand.”

“Don’t you think Tsuzuki deserves his happiness? Besides I think your question goes deeper then what your meant to say. I know you love him. I can tell, but think about this, Tatsumi. Do you honestly think you could have made Tsuzuki happy? Do you honestly think it would have made you? If you can answer that, then you’ll understand.”

Tatsumi looked back out the window.

“I don’t honestly know.”

“Tatsumi, ever since you meet Tsuzuki all you ever wanted to do was protect him, right?”

“Yes.”

Watari grabbed a paper holder and starts playing with it. It was of a blue bird shaped with its wings spread open.

“Your love grew from that and soon you seen yourself having an attraction for him.”

Tatsumi turns toward the scientist his eyes narrowed.

“I don’t think we should..”

“Just hear me out, Tatsumi. I know it hurts especially to see that someone you love and want to protect with someone you hate so much and fear is going to hurt him. I don’t think Muraki would hurt Tsuzuki. In factc I’m sure of it.”

Watari gets up from off the chair and walks over toward the secretary.

“Truth be told, Tsuzuki doesn’t need your protection. He never did. What he needs from you is a friend. Despite whatever it was that had happened between you two, Tsuzuki still loves you in his own way. ...You have to let him go.”

The scientist hands him the bird.

The secretary looks at the the heavy object in his hand then smiled at the scientist.

“I suppose so.”

The purple-eyed shinigami sighed as he leaned on his lover's chest.

“This is so beautiful.” The guardian gasped as he felt hands lift his chin up.

"No, Asato. You are beautiful. All this is just a substitute."

“Kaza.” he blushed then noticed Hisoka walking down toward the library.

“Hisoka! Kaza I’ll be right back.”

“Hisoka.” the boy stops turning around seeing Tsuzuki running in his direction.

The younger shinigami blushes as he sees the older mans shirt half unbuttoned. “Tsuzuki, I was just going to the ….”

“Hisoka...I been...looking for...you." he tried to catch his breath.

“Well, I’ve been busy.”

“Hisoka..” The purple-eyed guardian looked at him with concern.

The younger guardian looks at his former partner and tries to look angry.

“About not being your partner anymore. Well, I just find you annoying, you're better off being partners with Muraki anyway.”

Tsuzuki touched his shoulder smiling.

"Hisoka. Thank you from all my heart, thank you.”

Still trying to look angry Hisoka crosses his arms.

"Well don’t go pushing it, I still find you annoying.”

The green-eyed shinigami then pulls the other into a hug .

”You're happy, right? Anything as long as you're happy. That’s all that matters.”

Tsuzuki hugs him back. “Yes. I'm happy.”

Soon he feels himself being let go and looks into the watery eyes of his former partner. Hisoka clears his throat from sounding too harsh from trying to hold in his tears.

“Well, I got to go study some more on that new shikigami I am receiving.”

And the younger shinigami walks away into the building.

Tsuzuki feels a hand touch his shoulder and he leans his head on it knowing it was his lover's.

"Yes, Hisoka. I couldn’t be more happier. Thank you."

“Kaza, I have a surprise for you.”

“Really?”

He felt the tingle of his lover's breath close to his ear causing a chill to run up his spine.

“Yeah, really.” The guardian grabs the man's hand turning himself around toward his lover.

“Do you remember that time in the strip club?”

“Yes. How could I not? Asato, what are you up to?”

The angel could see the wicked smile on his beloved's face as they begin to disappear.

“I owe you a payback."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FIN

Notes: I wanted to thank everybody who enjoyed reading this fic and reviewed

This was probably the hardest chapter I have written. I kepted changing my mind alot on how I wanted it to end, I do hope it was a good one. I know the characters are a little OOC, but this was the world I wantd to create them in.

YEAh Muraki is alive!! Did you really think I was just going to let poor tsuzuki suffer anymore...