30 Lemons

Pairing/Fandom: AlucardxSeras, Hellsing
Theme: 5. The Harem, 9. Sex and Drugs, 10. Boot Camp
Title: In Which Integra Gets the Munchies and Alucard Gets His Threesome
Author/Artist: SystemAurora
Disclaimer: Do not known Hellsing or any characters. Because damn, if I owned Seras... I mean, uh, I also make no money off of this story.
Warnings: Threesome (FMF), femslash, sex under the influence,

Because I really don't see any other possible way to get these prompts finished, let's combine all three together!


"Don't tempt me, vampire." Integra's voice was deadly quiet. "If any of the Knights of the Round Table were to even suspect it, the Queen herself would have my head. Absolutely not."

Walter, who had been observing quietly from a distance throughout the entire argument, finally interjected. "Sir Integra." He bowed respectfully. "I do think you should keep in mind your precarious position with your blood pressure and stress response."

"What about it?" She snapped at him.

Walter pressed on resolutely. "After your unpleasant side effects with current drugs on the market and your lack of success with a low-salt diet, your physician suggested I look into medical marijuana as an alternative for relieving not only the high blood pressure, but the constant stress as well. I not only looked into it, but I took the liberty of obtaining a few doses for you in case the need should ever arise urgently."

"Please, Sir Integra." Seras's lower lip stuck out in a pout. "You can't die at thirty-four. Master would run positively wild and destroy London, perhaps the world! I'm sure the Queen would approve of this."

Integra hesitated. "I'm not sure..."

Alucard chuckled insanely. "Yes, yes! I can't wait to slaughter all those innocent people like the cattle they are!"

"Fine, I'll take the damned pill!" Integra threw her letter opener at Alucard, pegging him squarely in the chest. "For the Queen's sake."

And so, an hour later, Walter returned to find a very leather-clad Integra, a very terrified-looking Seras, and a very amused (or was it aroused?) Alucard.

"Walter! Help! Sir Integra's going to rape me!" Seras hid behind the butler.

Integra giggled-- yes, she positively giggled-- and kissed the tip of her leather riding crop. "Come now, Seras." She put her hands on her hips. "I gave you an order."

"She did." Alucard laughed, sinking into the chair to watch the spectacle. "And now I'm giving you the order as well. Take your clothes off."

"Not in front of Walter!" She squeaked.

"You'll undress in front of whomever I tell you." He crossed his arms. "Do it."

Seras's cheeks flushed faintly, and she turned away from Walter to strip off her uniform. Walter busied himself with watering the plants, only occasionally glancing up to see how things were progressing.

"Walter, will you bring up some tea?" Integra asked.

"Of course, Ma'am." He happened to look up, and found Integra standing on her desk.

"Please make sure to bring extra scones. And some biscuits, please, Walter." She giggled again. "And some blood for my pet vampires."

Walter bowed and hurried off to fetch the tea cart.

"Now, Seras, where were we?" Integra turned to Seras, wobbling slightly in her tall leather boots. "Oh yes. Good, your clothes are off. Ummm...." She laughed. "Get on the desk, I guess."

"Should Sir Integra be acting so silly?" Seras fretted. "Maybe the dose was too high."

"Nonsense. She's just a virgin in every sense of the word."

"Damn straight." Integra pushed her paperwork off the desk and tapped it impatiently with her riding crop. "I will not repeat myself, Seras."

"Yes, Sir." Alucard's fledgling reluctantly climbed onto the desk.

Integra knelt in front of the desk and pushed Seras's legs apart. "Kiss her, Alucard."

The elder vampire did as he was told, mostly succeeding in cutting off the police girl's weak moans of protest. Her initial rigidness finally melted into gentle hip-bucking as Integra's tongue probed her most sensitive areas.

"Your tea, Sir Integra." Walter parked the cart a safe distance from the desk. "Please ring me if you need anything."

He disappeared before anyone's mouth was free to thank him. Integra shrugged and stood up, pushing Alucard away. "Your turn, servant."

Alucard grinned. "Thank you, Master."

Seras shrieked and rolled off the desk before either Integra or Alucard could stop her. She ran for the door, but Alucard tackled her and pinned her to the carpet before she was even close. He beamed at Integra, looking very much like a cat who had just pounced on a small rodent and trapped it for its master.

"Good boy, Alucard." Integra knelt next to Seras and kissed her sweetly on the lips. "Don't you want to be a good girl for me, seras?" She stroked the girl's cheeks, then lips.

Seras stopped squirming. "Yes, Sir Integra. I'd like to please you."

"Good. Alucard, release her."

He did, and she scrambled onto her hands on knees.

"Lovely. Now kiss my boots, Seras." Integra smiled as the girl looked up at her in surprise. "That's an order."

Seras put her face to the leather boots and began kissing them eagerly without further encouragement from Integra. "Am I doing alright?" She looked up, uncertain.

"Quite well." Integra traced Seras's exposed spine with her riding crop. "Isn't she, Alucard?"

"Oh yes." He sat back and watched, grinning broadly all the while. "I particularly like her enthusiasm." Seras's cheeks flushed at that.

"That's enough, Seras." Integra nudged Seras's chin up using the riding crop. "Lie on your back."

With minimal dissenting, she obeyed, lying down on the floor.

"Good." Integra kissed her on the lips. "You may take her now, Alucard."

He growled and forced Seras's legs apart, ignoring her whimpers. Seras screamed in pain as he entered her, but Integra's kiss promptly cut it off. She kissed, licked, whipped, and bit their police girl all over, eliciting timid noises of pleasure from her.

"You're a true submissive, aren't you, Seras?" Integra traced her riding crop over Seras's stomach and hips. "This sort of domination excites you more than anything else, hm?" Seras leaned her head back, eyelids fluttering and lips parting in pleasure. "There's a good girl. Spread your legs a bit more so he can violate you as deeply as possible."

Seras was moaning loudly by this point. "Yes, Sir Integra." She wrapped her legs around Alucard. "Is that better?"

"Much. Such a good little vampire." Integra kissed her roughly, pinning her hands to the floor. "It would please me greatly to see you lose yourself to the pleasure. Do you understand me, Seras, or will I have to spank you first?"

Seras moaned so loudly it bordered on a scream, her lower body grinding violently against Alucard's as he thrust in and out of her. Integra kissed her again, this time biting her lower lip. Seras's body contorted in orgasm, her legs pulling Alucard into her and her lips pulling Integra's in.

While the two vampires collapsed on each other in exhausted ecstasy, Integra disentangled herself and investigated the tea cart. Alucard joined her after a moment, sniffing out the blood Walter had brought.

"Well, I suppose I'll be on my way." Seras blushed and gathered her clothing.

"Don't even think about it." Integra took a bite out of the scone she was holding. "I'm not finished yet."