Shamrock Cavern

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR

Okay, it's time I got this fan fiction back on track. I know it's been kind of ignored and put off and looked at and put off again since I last worked on it but then I've had a lot of stuff going on both online and also in real life. Never-the-less I'm pleased to inform you that I remember where I was trying to take this story and that despite the derailments we are now entering the final stages.

In the next chapter the following will happen.
- Team rocket run a successfull business.
- Brock cares for a rock type
- Chikorita throws a tantrum
- There are more penii then then are characters
- Mirana gets her guys
- There will be tentacles

Now, let’s get this train wreck back on schedule.

Chapter 6
The mansion on the hill

[page 1]
On the edge of the town there is a hill. On the top of the hill is a mansion. This mansion is ancient, rundown and not really safe for people to live in but since when has that stopped anyone from going into such buildings.
Since the afternoon of two days ago this outdated and unsafe building has been inhabited by two entrepreneurs. This is a business that has started out in the black and is trying desperately to earn money. To be more accurate this is a freak show, but it's a freak show with a purpose and a freak show that has so far managed to make a decent profit. If the luck of the people running it holds out then they may even be able to pay off all their debts.

On the top of this hill on the highest point of the mansion is an Englishman. At least that's supposedly where his parents came from. Dressed in a long flowing cape and a cool looking outfit he stands on a balcony and oversees the line of people gathering for this mornings taking. Today he is standing tall, since his parents came to the country his family had always been attributed as wealthy and of good standing until he had run away from home.

"James, Get in here and stop posing you idiot, do you expect ME to do all the manual labour? We have to get this set installed!"
"Manual labour? I haven't seen you lift a finger all day!" Meowth sneers at the blue haired female only to be hit by a projectile shoe.
"Shut up you mangy cat - I'm the face of this operation and you know it! I can’t risk damaging these nails moving heavy objects."

James sighs and steps back inside without saying a word. What now amounted to years of experience with his fiery partner had told him it was better not to argue. One upon a tie when Team Rocket had been a name to respect and fear the duo had gotten along famously but too many botched attempts and too much time living on the edge of their stomachs had given Jesse a mean streak that could bring down a charizard.
"I wish." The boy thought out loud, only barely out of his teens he recognised as much as Jesse did how important this project was but knew full well that their biggest mistake wasn't getting as far away from those twerps as possible.

James groaned as he looked at the massive piece of plywood so carefully painted by meowth then remembered an alternative. Reaching to his poke belt he hesitated for the briefest moment.
"No..." he thought, changing to another ball. "She already eats me when she sees me, let’s see what this thing does to wheezing!" He releases his pokemon.
For a moment there's an echo of uncertainty in the air as the pokemon manifests a grey blob with two faces and now surrounded by a bluish-purple aura.
Meowth pokes his head around the corner of the artwork at watches with some bemusement.

"Oooh! Interesting choice Jimmy-boy, trying Wheezing out under the stones influence? How do you know the pokemon won’t have some benign wish like that caterpie?"
James shrugs. "I figure those kids have beaten him so many times that his strongest wish would be strength. This pokemon has been with me since I was only a young boy so its biggest desire would be -"
"Hold up there, it's changin! Looks like it's getting bigger too."
"Please let it have hands please let it have hands please let it have -" James crosses his fingers and closes his eyes as he prays.
"Hey Jimmy, is Wheezing a boy or a girl?"
"Neither - Wheezing is asexual. When a wheezing gets big enough it splits in two to create two koffing."
"You're pretty smart about pokemon aren't ya?" Meowth looks up from the transforming pokemon to the face of the blue haired human. "You might want to open you're eyes and uncross your fingers Jimmy."
"Why, has it finished transforming?"
"In a manner of speaking." James opens his eyes and stares.

Before him there floats a new pokemon; Looking at it without knowledge of how it was created some would think it a new breed, potentially different specie. Still grey and slightly blobbish the pokemon floats in its usual gravity defy manner, still blob shaped in resemblance of a cloud of smog. James taps his foot as he thinks over the pros and cons.
"Well, it does have arms and hands!" He observes, scratching his head thoughtfully.
"And other bits of anatomy."
"I was kinda hoping for something more humanoid."
"Well it's got one of those; some would say that it's a big part of being human."
"I wonder why it has only one? At least it's bigger than you meowth."

Meowths eyes go narrow and in a reflex reaction the hackles go up on the back of his neck. Fur literally flying, his claws emerge in an all out fury swipe attack. James can’t even move as the attack takes place, the meowth simply turning into a pale blur that runs all over James’s body. When it's over Meowth stands beside the boy again with his arms crossed as though nothing happened and the boy, now covered in scratches, falls to the ground with an exaggerated "Ow."
"Let that be a lesson not to pick on a pokemon’s prowess."
James turns his head, the only part apparently able to move without hurting and replies weekly that "I was talking about it being physically bigger, not sexually bigger."

"Oh."
Meowth takes a moment to think of this before deciding it was still worthy of the fury swipes and, with some considerable effort, goads James and his now sexualised pokemon into moving the set downstairs. As they do so wheezing 4 foot long penis bounces on the floor, echoes through the halls and can be heard downstairs as a curious banging by the people lining up to buy tickets in the entry foyer.

The dress setting is put in place, nicely covering up the last part of wall and visibly hiding the run-down nature of the building. James joins Jesse with the audience downstairs and Wheezing (after a moments questioning about where to put him) joins the other pokemon now on display.
Dressed like magicians or ringmasters the members of team rocket take their positions as the crowd gather.

The show begins with a fanfare.
"Welcome one and all, adults of all ages!"
The crowd stares and start clapping as a pair of floodlights turn on spotlighting what at first appears to be a human-sized mistake of nature. Jesse turns around to face the crowd. "Welcome to the hall of freaks, pokemon of such disturbing natures that only a responsible adult can be allowed to see them!"
James steps out from behind Jesse's hair with a flourish of his cape. "That's right ladies and gentle, what we provide here is a truly adults only experience. Gathered from the four corners of the world -"
"- Taken from the remotest jungles of Africa -"
"- The heart of India -"
"- Or possibly the shoe print of hell itself -"
Jesse blinks whispering out the corner of her mouth as the dance around the entrance forum building up the hype and hisses a warning to James.
"Stick to the script!" The male rocket continues unabashed. "Beyond those doors are creatures so terrifying they defy description. Be they freaks mutants or demons we put them here on display for you. Cost of entry 8000 yen or one pokemon for private sessions, to be held after the initial tour. Please enjoy!"

The pair of performers duck through the nearby door and behind a booth. A moment later they reappear dressed in pinstriped suits and hats and wearing little whistles around their necks. The customers line up and hand over their money or pokeballs willingly, dropping the balls into a large funnel on the front desk so that it falls down into a box underneath.
With each pokemon payment the poke ball’s owner is waved through to an antechamber and given a special ticket. With each wad of money handed over the hosts grin and bow and nod, dollar signs glowing in their eyes.
Out back Meowth counts the money with vicious precision and scans the pokeballs to make sure nothing is out of order. It's an important job and while he admits that a lot of the pokemon being handed over are only low level types he grins at the shear volume.
"At this rate we're go'na earn back all our reputation and I'll be top cat again!" He yells out.
"We know meowth!" Jesse and James reply from the front counter, much to the confusion of everyone present.

Finally, all tickets paid for and all transactions made the humans from the village - mostly men but also some women, enter the main hall.
It takes a moment for their eyes to adjust to the change in light but when they do several oos and aahs emit from the crowd along with a few random ewe sounds, eeps and responses of "oh that is just disturbing!"
Lined up along each wall of the building are a number of booths. Roped off cheaply with wooden poles and yellow tapes marked 'Danger' each pokemon is chained to something by a limb of some description and stands in front of a hand painted background supposedly depicting where the pokemon was found. Jesse and James grin, finally in their elements, and start relaying made up accounts of each pokemon’s capture.

"This weedle!" Jesse describes, indicating a creature twice the size of the regular bug-type, "was found in the forests of Africa. It had been drinking from a lake that several other specimens had been found in. Capable of spinning string four times stronger than any known bug pokemon this pokemon ties up its victim then uses the massive penis that stands in place of the tail spike to fertilize the victim. It is believed that the eggs hatch autonomously allowing the babies to be born from the host without damaging it. Hosts can be kept for months on end and are fed by the massive nipple on its head."

Jesse leads the watchers over to the pokemon on the opposite side of the hall, noting carefully the few men and women who take the most interest in the weedle.
"And on this side we have a humanoid rattata. As you can tell this female rattata is still covered mostly in fur but unlike many beliefs about such pokemon this fur is actually kept rather clean."
"Perhaps the audience would like to see the rattata morph up close Jameson?" Jesse interrupts. She clicks her fingers and the forlorn pokemon stands up from its position at the back of the display.
Most clearly female from the look of the c cup breasts the pokemon itself is only the height of a 14 year old girl at the most and a good inspection of the girl's fur shows that it doesn't cover all of the body. Spreading her legs and then, obediently, the lips of her vagina the audience is temporarily blinded to the thinness and patchiness of the pokemon's fur or irritated skin around the poke-girls paws or at the base of her tail.
Jesse has that covered anyhow for those who do notice, declaring "This pokemon so far has not adapted well to captivity and while training is going well, as you can see, its manners and nervousness haven't been cured."

James throws a handful of pokemon food pellets into the enclosure and the girls scoops them up eagerly, watching the audience with fear as she picks up every single one before taking them to the rear of the enclosure. Some faces frown at this, but not many.
"And over here we have a male zigzagoon. Notice the unusual colour and size. This pokemon for some strange reason has no teeth but can instead stretch various parts of its anatomy - including the mouth - to allow it to consume objects nearly as large as itself."
"And over here," James draws the crowds attention again, "Another humanoid pokemon that -"