The Past Life

My heart was racing as I slowly turned my head. I knew the voice that had spoken those words, but it felt as though I needed to see him as well to believe it. “Jadeite...”

I watched him, stunned as he stepped up beside me, looking at Kuroki. “Your behaviour during your stay has been most informal and now is unacceptable. I would suggest you leave the palace. Now.” He spoke with the authority I would expect from Kunzite, not someone almost ten years his junior.

Kuroki was about as shocked as I was that her plan had failed. She looked from Jadeite to me and back to Jadeite. “How... why... I...” she tried to form some kind of sentence, but could not. I didn't even want to attempt speaking.

“You have an hour to pack your things. If you are ready by then you may leave without any trouble.”

I watched as Kuroki took a few steps back, then stamped her foot in anger before hurrying off to her room. I continued to stare are the space she had just occupied until I heard Jadeite exhale a breath he must have been holding for a while.

I looked at him cautiously. He had saved me from Kuroki, but I was at his mercy now. “I guess we should probably talk...” he said.

My chambers where the closest, so we went there. The journey had been silent, and the silence continued after we arrived and had seated ourselves. I had found a spot on the floor between us to study while I waited for him to speak.

“Nephrite and Kunzite don't actually know,” he began. “I haven't told them.”

I nodded, I had figured as much. “So, it was you.”

“The music room? Yeah, that was me. After I left, I heard you talking about my little joke during your sparing match. I was curious, so I listened to see what you were saying about me, but then...”

“I'm sorry,” I apologized. “I didn't mean for you to find out about this.”

“Of course you didn't,” he snapped. I closed my eyes, flinching at his tone. Of course he would be angry, and now he could finally vent his anger. “You didn't want anyone to know that you were... were...”

He couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence, and so it just hung in the air. I could think of nothing to say as all his words were true. If it were at all possible, I would continue to visit my Master's bedroom until he turned me away. I had realized that it didn't matter to me if he was officially courting another, or even if he was married. If he still wanted me, I would go to him.

“But it wasn't just you was it?” Jadeite asked, more to himself really. His voice had calmed considerably. I was holding my breath, as if I were on trial, awaiting my sentencing. He knew what his duties required him to do as well as I did. As much as I wanted to, I would not beg. I would not make this any more difficult for him than it already was. What I didn't realize was just how painful this was for him.

“I'm jealous.”

My head snapped up and I starred at him in shock. I wondered for a moment if I had heard him correctly. “Jadeite...”

He shook his head. “I don't mean that I want to do... what you do with him, it's just...” he paused for a moment to gather his thoughts. “I always thought that I was the closest to our Master.”

I felt horrible at that moment. I hadn't even thought about Jadeite's more personal relationship with our Master. He would feel hurt that he had not been told about what was going on. Jadeite and the Master were more like brothers after all.

“I think you still are,” I offered. “The Master and I, we... we don't talk as you do.” I tried to phrase it as delicately as I could. Jadeite was obviously incredibly uncomfortable with discussing the details of what went on between the two of us.

He nodded silently, understanding what I was saying, but still pained just the same. After a few moments, he asked the question that I had been wanting to ask. “So, what happens now?”

What do I say? I can't tell him to continue to keep it a secret, as much as I wanted to. No, I had to explain his options to him, and the consequences of each. “Speaking as one of the Shitennou, you should go to Kunzite and tell him what you know.”

“What?”

“That is your duty.”

“Is that what you want?”

I shook me head and then stood, as if this would somehow prove my point. “What I want has nothing to do with this. You are one of the Shitennou and you know that one of your fellow guardians has knowingly been engaging in an activity that could directly effect the Master in a negative way.” Gods, I sounded like Kunzite.

“And if I decided to keep the secret?”

My expression softened. He was probably never planning on telling anyone. “Then it would be no different from what I am doing.”

He understood this, and yet still seemed that he was willing to risk his own position for me. “Then can I ask one thing of you?”

“What is it?”

“That you tell no one that I know as well?” He emphasized 'no one'. He specifically meant the Master, and even though I did want to inform him that I knew who had seen us, I could agree to this.

“Jadeite?” I asked when he turned to leave. He paused and waited for me to continue. “Why are you protecting me?”

“Because, you are both happier this way, “ he replied, looking at me breifly over his shoulder before walking out of the room.

That was the last time either of us spoke on the issue. He continued to pretend that he knew nothing, and when the time came, I told no one that he had known.