Internal Revenue Service

What Ever You Do
Don’t Step on My Blue Suede Shoes
6 months later…

Yukino sat at her seat in the Gray Kitten, blushing furiously. Her friends giggled around her and pointed in the direction of the flower-man who had just given her an arrangement. He was a little strange, but he was also very handsome. The arrangement sat in front of her at the table, it seemed slightly off, but she had never really been good at, or all that interested in ikebana. And the flowers were really rather pretty and smelled nice, and he really was quite handsome.

“Yukino-chaaaan! You didn’t tell us your boyfriend was a flower man!” Akiko shouted.

Yukino blushed even more. “No, no…” she giggled. “This bar is really new, but it is really cool, don’t you think?” she asked, desperately trying to change the subject.

“It is,” Miya answered dreamily, staring in the direction of the proprietors. The two men who ran the bar were currently singing a song, and in English too! The blonde owner was swinging his hips in an embarrassing way, and if Yukino didn’t know better she could’ve sworn he’d winked at her! She blushed even harder and had another sip of her fruity drink. The orange haired man had gotten it for her, saying he knew ‘exactly want she would want’ and it had been perfect!

“Ain’t nothing but a hound dog!” the duo shouted, dancing together! How suggestive they were! Yukino giggled. This place was definitely getting pretty popular for as new as it was. It was probably how handsome all of the men were, she thought. Even the weird flower man!

“He’s here all the time,” Akiko informed them. “I came here with my big sister last week, it was sooo fun! This really nice boy… I think he said his name was Hid… Hidaki, or something like that, he told us about the flower man. Apparently he just showed up one day with this wheelbarrow and starting giving out flower arrangements. He sells them too! I guess Yoji-san and Schuldig-san, those are the owners...”

“Schuldig-san? What a weird name!” Miya interrupted.

“I know. Anyway I guess they keep trying to kick him out, but he keeps coming back. All of the girls love him, so the owners can’t make him go away!”

Yukino giggled as the owners finished their song and started walking towards their table? What? They were coming over here? Yukino blushed, the blonde one *was* winking at her.

“Such a lovely woman to be bestowed with Aya-san’s blessing,” he breathed to her in a silken voice.

(For those who are interested: Schu was well aware that this was a ‘too drunk not to slur my words’ voice, and was disgusted by the way Yukino interpreted this voice. He desperately wanted to see Yohji choke while flirting with one of their female customers. But he had gotten this girl drunk enough that she probably wouldn’t be that one. That was probably okay, he’d gotten a big tip from her. He smirked, inwardly and outwardly, he *always* got a big tip. Telepathy was more useful in this line of work than he’d originally anticipated. He supposed Brad could’ve told him.)

Yukino blushed some more. “No, no,” she stammered, finishing her drink, scooting over in her seat, as the blonde was leaning in to smile at her. He was good looking too. Thought not as good looking as his friend, with his beautiful green eyes and luxurious copper hair. She wondered briefly where that thought had come from, she generally preferred blondes.

“Ah, but you are very pretty, miss?”

“Eh, Tanaka Yukino,” she giggled.

“Yukino-san, eh?” he mused. “What a pretty name. It is lovely to see you again, Akiko-san! And you brought such pretty friends!”

The girls giggled and blushed even more brightly.

(For those who are interested: Schu was getting fairly bored with this, watching Yohji flirt had its appeal… but only for so long. Also, he couldn’t leave Farfarello at the bar much longer…things tended to get messy that way and he really needed to use the bathroom. Plus, even though Yohji was inclined towards anything that moved, Schu preferred men. And the boy singing right now was entirely more attractive and interesting than the girls Yohji was “charming”. Schu sent him nice thoughts as he walked toward the back, to the employee restroom. Where had Aya gone anyway? That’s why Yohji had gone to see the girl, to figure out what she had done to get his ‘Death Flowers’ as Omi and Nagi had been calling them. Flower arrangements meaning things like “You have to die by falling on some tacks while on fire” or as Yohji had said this one meant “Please slip on a pool of your own entrails and suffocate in a vat of kool-aid” He still didn’t know how daisies and daffodils managed to say things so graphically, but he trusted his Pookums, he *had* been the florist and Aya was very good at flower-language. Aya’s rush out of the bathroom startled him. It was too bad he never could read his mind, though… the one time he had tried recently he’d had that Henry the 8th song stuck in his head for days! He got to the bathroom and was amused as he ran into Brad, Brad tended to avoid the bar on weeknights… well any nights really. Didn’t he need to talk to him about something?)

Yukino moved her hands around her glass as the orange-red-not the blonde one left quietly. “She must not have told you, I’m Yohji, I run the bar with …” Yohji glanced at the other man who was walking way, “eh, my friend. Do you know why Aya-san chose to bless you?”

“Oh, is that the flower man! He’s so cool!” Akiko shouted. “Where is he anyway?”

“He just put up another poster! He’s going to do a blood drive! Are all of those orphans on the wall his?” Miya asked quietly.

“Yes, they are. All of the charities on the walls are Aya-san’s.”

“How cool! And he even gave you flowers after you made fun of the charities, Yukino!” Akiko shouted loudly.

“Ah… that would be why you were blessed pretty one! Aya always appreciates those who notice his charitable work,” Yohji-san said, smiling. “Well, please come again! I have a bar to be surrounded by beautiful women who are over 18!”

Yukino didn’t think she could blush anymore, and she was wrong. Yohji-san was so cool! She wanted to come back to this bar tomorrow night!

(For those who are interested: Schu remembered why he had to talk to Brad on his way out of the restroom. Sure enough, Brad had known Schu needed to talk to him and was standing at the bar, looking amused as Farfarello poured someone a drink. Before he could even start, Brad, of course had an answer. “On two conditions, “I want to watch you and Yohji sometime, and I want you to get me a date with Aya.” Schu groaned and went back to the bar.)

Later that night….

“So, he said we have to get him a date with Aya and let him watch us sometime.”

Yohji groaned and started wiping the peanut butter off his chest, and arms, and legs and floor. “Well the second part is easy enough, I don’t mind and you don’t mind.”

“Aren’t *I* the mind reader?”

“I hope so.”

Schu was blushing at the thoughts Yohji was sending in his direction. Yohji smirked, making Schu blush was a triumph. And the peanut butter was becoming increasingly more sticky and uncomfortable.

“Besides, even if I can’t ready your mind, we were in those videos that one time… okay, those four times.”

Schu smiled, those had been a whole lot of fun. Maybe Brad would let them tape him watching. “But getting Aya to go on a date with Brad? Not possible. And he already told me I can’t use telepathy to force him. It has to be of ‘his own free will’ blah, blah, blah.”

“Well, I suppose we can do it ourselves then.”

“Yeah, really. How hard can the taxes be?”

Stay tuned: In the next chapter, smut abounds! Who will reign as seme? Who\'s lube is this anyways? Next chapter:
You *Cannot* Put Chunky Peanut Butter There
Jailhouse Rock