Glass

Fandom: Card Captor Sakura

Date Finished: October 29th, 2003 (my 21st birthday! ;P)

Classification: Romance, Angst

Pairing: Eriol/Yue, Clow/Yue, Touya/Yukito, mild hints of Touya/Yue

Rating: NC-17

Note: Sequel to \'Love Is...\', but can be read independently.



Glass

By Elsewhere

elsewherecw@shaw.ca



All other information in Part One.



Part Two:



Glossary:

aa - yeah

To-ya - an alternate romanization and pronunciation of Touya\'s name---Yuki\'s affectionate nickname for Touya



*****

Even like this

I\'m staying close

To you

You\'re so confused and puzzled

You\'ve been alone for too long

*****



At the sound of a soft footfall behind him, Eriol finally allowed his eyes to open, letting out a quiet sigh of contentment as he lifted his face towards the sun. His fingers were closed with a strange gentleness around a cherry blossom, retrieved from the ground beneath his feet. Seeing the green of the park littered with the soft pink of the flowers gave him almost as much pleasure as feeling the sun on his pale skin, but even more than this, the presence of friends created in him a sense of comfort that he didn\'t often attain.



Even if he hadn\'t heard the soft sound of the moon guardian\'s feet against the grass and flower petals, Eriol would have felt Yue\'s approach. Though Eriol now possessed only half of Clow Read\'s power, he nonetheless responded instinctively to the pulse of magic emitted by Clow\'s second guardian; he would have felt it even if he had held none of Clow\'s magic at all, simply by virtue of being of Clow\'s bloodline.



\"Thank you, Yue-san,\" Eriol began, slowly rising from the bench he\'d been sitting on and turning around. \"I was hoping you would be willing to speak to me this...\"



His voice choked off abruptly, so abruptly that Yue\'s eyes narrowed slightly in surprise. For a moment Eriol could only stare dumbly, despite his best intentions to get back his voice. He felt like a hard knot had risen in his throat, closing off all chance of vocalization.



Yue stood only a few metres away from him, and the picture he presented was what held Eriol momentarily spellbound. Admittedly, Eriol had not seen Yue more than a handful of times in his life, but he had until this point thought himself entirely aware of Yue\'s ethereal beauty. But this...



Yue stood, for once, without his arms crossed or a hand haughtily pressed to his hip. Instead, he stood entirely straight, almost stiffly, as though unable to relax. His bare feet made only the slightest sound when he took a step through the carpet of sakura blossoms, but the tail end of his luminous curtain of silvery-white hair, trailing along the ground behind him, brushed more audibly against the flower petals, picking up several along the way. As usual, Yue was dressed in flowing robes of brilliant white, accented here and there by lavender that matched the purplish tint to his cold silver eyes. His robes, too, draped lightly behind him, raking the pink petals into a train behind his every step.



Eriol couldn\'t have said aloud how or why Yue appeared so much more stunning in this moment than any other. In his own mind, his thoughts were a jumble of impressions related to the accent of the sun off of the silken sheen of Yue\'s silver hair, the ethereal quality of the light shower of sakura petals around Yue as he walked, and the glint of curiosity held deep within Yue\'s cold, hard eyes. The single sakura blossom held carefully, almost reverently, between Yue\'s slender fingers revealed that Yue\'s thoughts took a somewhat different turn than what the icy look in his eyes might have suggested.



Yue, Eriol knew, was as adept at concealing his true feelings as Eriol himself, and if he expected to converse with Yue, he imagined that he would have to rely on his instinctive sense of Yue\'s real emotions, provided to him by the sense of empathy inherent in his recognition of Yue\'s magic. Of course, this advantage was two-fold...he knew that given time, Yue would come to know Eriol\'s feelings just as well as Eriol hoped to learn Yue\'s.



Eriol was happy to make that sacrifice if it allowed him a chance to come to know the beautiful and mysterious creature who had held Eriol\'s ancestor so captivated.



Several moments had passed, and although Eriol\'s slightly gaping mouth had fallen closed, he still hadn\'t spoken, not trusting himself to try. The look in Yue\'s eyes had long since shifted from curiosity to a vague hint of discomfort.



Eriol closed his eyes for a moment, both to release Yue from the hold his eyes had taken on him, and to compose himself. In that moment of peace, against the darkness behind his eyelids, he could see as clearly as if it had been only days before and not years, the sight of Yue standing before him, tears shining in his eyes.



At the time, Eriol had answered Yue\'s demands for an answer by simply stating that he had felt it necessary...necessary to hide the piece of Clow Read that lived on within Eriol from the moon guardian\'s notice. It had been the truth, but it had been cruel, and at the time, Eriol had thought that to be a necessity as well. But even then, and certainly now, Eriol wished that he could have added something else...a confession that he didn\'t feel he was entitled to give.



/I never meant to hurt you...Yue.../



*****



Yue silently contemplated the young man standing across from him, his eyes finally relaxing their vigilance slightly, allowing a hint of his surprise and confusion to show. Although his gaze couldn\'t have strayed from the other man\'s lean form even if he had wished it to, he took the opportunity of Eriol\'s silence and closed eyes to study the magician more closely. It had been years since Yue had last seen Eriol, and at the time, Eriol had still held little resemblance to Yue\'s former master, except for the disconcerting familiarity of his smile. Now, several years later, Eriol still appeared distinct from Clow Read...and yet, if Yue slanted his gaze only slightly, he imagined he could see similarities...something about the line of Eriol\'s cheekbone, or the color of the soft eyelashes that rested against his cheeks. Or perhaps it was something in the way that Eriol pronounced Yue\'s name, softly and with a certain reverence, exactly as Clow had said it so many times, so long ago.



Yue blinked as he realized he was being spoken to again, and quickly composed his face into its usual mask as he lifted his eyes back from where they\'d fallen to study the sakura blossom held almost tenderly between Eriol\'s fingers, in the opposite hand from where Yue held his own flower. Yue again felt something within him freeze in a kind of deep shock when his eyes met Eriol\'s, and his surprise was only worse for the fact that, unlike before, Eriol\'s eyes remained unguarded for several moments. In those eyes, Yue was sure he could see something gentle and familiar, although the grace with which the dark color of Eriol\'s eyes conveyed his emotions was alien to Yue\'s experience. Within him, Yue felt Yuki waiting with his breath held, stunned by the depth of Yue\'s reaction. Briefly, Yue contemplated how he might try to explain, later, when he couldn\'t even understand it himself...



\"Please, Yue...come and sit down,\" Eriol said again, and Yue realized for the first time that not all of Yuki\'s confusion was inwardly directed. Eriol had spoken in English.



Yue nodded slightly and made his way slowly towards the bench Eriol indicated, being careful to avoid coming too close to the young magician as he moved. When Yue had gingerly taken a seat at one end of the bench, his eyes quickly turning away, Eriol settled himself on the other end of the bench, and Yue could feel the brush of Eriol\'s eyes as clearly as he could feel the heat of the sun.



\"Yue,\" Eriol said again, a bit breathlessly this time, and Yue closed his eyes, surprised again by how much Eriol\'s voice was like, and yet very much unlike, Clow\'s. \"I\'m glad you were willing to come and talk to me...I know that I\'ve avoided you in the past, and I wish to apologize for that.\"



Although Yue didn\'t turn to look at Eriol, after a few moments he allowed his chin to dip downwards slightly, a simple acknowledgment of Eriol\'s words. Silently, he was thinking that Eriol had not been the only one doing the avoiding.



\"Yue...\"



\"Why have you asked me here?\" Yue asked crisply, cutting Eriol off, and for a moment Eriol was silent, seeming taken aback. Yue watched Eriol\'s eyes widen slightly when Yue turned back, sharply meeting Eriol\'s startled gaze. \"I received the impression from the few times we\'ve spoken that you had no interest in the artefacts of your former life.\"



Although Yue felt no particular sense of discomfort due to the shift of his language and thoughts, his accent easily adapting to what had been his first language, he could feel Yuki spiraling further into a deep well of confusion the more he spoke. He wondered idly whether he would be able to relate what was happening to Yukito later...truthfully, he had no idea what was going on, and his impatience was the reason for his icy demeanor.



\"That\'s not true, Yue,\" Eriol said quietly after a moment, closing his eyes briefly before he got to his feet, taking a few small steps away, his hands slowly dropping to fold at the small of his back. Yue\'s eyes again fell to the pale blossom held precariously between Eriol\'s first and second fingers.



Yue waited for a moment in silence, expecting Eriol to say more, but when the silence lingered on, a harsh and cold sound in his ears, he decided to press his advance further.



\"Eriol Hiiragizawa.\"



It was the first time he had ever spoken the name, and he felt the same strange sensation of nervousness flutter through him as he watched Eriol\'s shoulders straighten in the brief instant before Eriol turned back, his eyes wide open this time, bright and shimmering with something that Yue couldn\'t identify.



\"What is it you want from me?\" Yue asked, following Eriol\'s example and slowly rising to his feet. Eriol\'s eyes followed Yue\'s down the line of his arm as Yue gently dropped the sakura blossom he had held, letting it crumple to the bench.



Again, Eriol seemed strangely stricken, a note of something almost like panic flickering across his dark eyes.



\"Yue...I...\" He paused, closing his eyes again to compose himself. When he opened them, his confidence seemed to have returned. \"All I want is...to get to know you.\"



Yue had opened his mouth, prepared to retort, but Eriol\'s words, and the soft tone they had been spoken in, stopped him entirely short.



\"If I may,\" Eriol continued, voice lowering and rasping fractionally, as though he couldn\'t quite catch his breath. His eyes seemed to pierce Yue\'s skin, and with the sense of someone who has grown unaccustomed to his own body, Yue slowly became aware of the steady, hard beat of his own heart. He had never stopped to think about it...he hadn\'t had to think about his own body for so long that now it felt strange, to be aware of this sensation, so slow and even...and quickening oddly as he met Eriol\'s eyes.



\"You meant so much to Clow Read,\" Eriol said, his quiet voice resonating strangely in Yue\'s ears, integrating itself into the pace of Yue\'s heartbeat. \"You and Cerberus. I feel...I feel that I should get to know you, both of you.\"



Whatever strange sensation had overtaken Yue faded away as swiftly as it had appeared, and Yue\'s eyes narrowed. The resentment in his eyes seemed to surprise Eriol, who blinked as though he didn\'t understand.



\"I am no duty of yours,\" Yue said, his voice lowered to a harsh murmur. The usually-feline slits of his pupils had narrowed, impossibly, until all Eriol could see was the cool silver of Yue\'s irises. Yue turned and started to walk away, at twice the speed he had approached with. The words he tossed over his shoulder were deliberately harsh. \"Don\'t concern yourself over me, Hiiragizawa Eriol.\"



For a moment Yue was sure he wouldn\'t be followed...even from so far ahead he could sense the stunned silence that had overtaken the other man. But then he felt something strange, nothing more than a whisper of breath to the right of his shoulder, and abruptly his hand was being clutched in a gentle, yet somehow commanding grip.



\"Yue,\" Eriol said, and this time there was a note of pleading in his soft tone that was enough to make Yue turn his head, surprised. His surprise quickly became shock, a shock that pulsed deep through his heart like electricity, when he realized that he was standing only a few inches from Eriol, and because their heights were much the same, he could feel the slight puff of Eriol\'s breath against his lips as the other man prepared to speak again.



\"You misunderstand me,\" Eriol said, his eyes softening when he saw the stark surprise that crossed Yue\'s face despite himself. \"Please, let me say it in different words. My memories...the memories given me by my ancestor...they provide me with a sense of wonder towards the two guardians who provided Clow not only with the protection he required, but also with what he needed so much more...companionship. But those memories are no longer enough. Yue...I\'ll freely admit that I\'m curious. I want to get to know you, for myself...and as I am now, I want you to know me. Please...I don\'t want you to think of me as cold. If you give me some time...I feel confident that I can convince you that my intentions were never to...\"



Finally, in a long stream of words that Yue had begun to think might never end, Eriol paused, blinking once, now looking a little surprised at himself. His eyes flickered downwards, focusing on where his fingers were still curled lightly around Yue\'s. In that moment, he meant to let go, to relax his grip, but his hand wasn\'t willing to obey him; instead, his fingers slid more firmly around Yue\'s, intertwining slightly until his palm was lightly brushing the back of Yue\'s hand.



He was aware of the way Yue\'s breathing had grown uneven, hitching slightly as he stared at Eriol, his eyes wide.



\"...It was never my intention to hurt you,\" Eriol finished finally, hesitantly lifting his eyes again to meet Yue\'s. He had expected to find anger there, but instead he saw something else, something vaguely familiar, something that made his heart pound firmly once, as though reminding him of its presence. His voice was now little more than a whisper, and he hoped to god that Yue believed in his sincerity; he didn\'t know how to be any more honest than this.



\"Yue...\" he began again, faltering when Yue closed his eyes and turned away. He caught his breath, something he hadn\'t expected shattering within him as Yue carefully retrieved his hand.



\"Yes,\" Yue said softly, voice muffled behind the hair that had draped over his shoulder and across his face.



\"Yes?\" Eriol repeated, brow furrowing slightly in his confusion.



\"You asked if I would give you some of my time,\" Yue said simply. His voice was quiet, almost hesitant. His hand had dropped back to his side, fisting slightly. \"I will.\"



\"Ah...\" For a moment, Eriol wasn\'t sure how to respond. In the end, he decided he could only do Yue the courtesy of stating himself just as plainly as Yue had. \"Thank you, Yue. I...I\'m going to be in Japan for some time, in the house I purchased the last time I was here. I...would be honored if you would join me for tea, at your convenience.\"



\"Fine,\" Yue answered, after a slight pause. He heard Eriol\'s breath catch, but he didn\'t wait to hear what Eriol might have said...he began to walk again, though this time he moved more slowly as he walked away. He didn\'t say goodbye; it wasn\'t a word he was comfortable with, and he had a feeling that Eriol wouldn\'t have appreciated it either.



He was only halfway back across the park when he finally felt a stirring within him, the recognizable sensation of Yuki\'s consciousness separating itself from the stream of his own.



Yue... Yuki said, with a touch of hesitance. I may not speak English, but...that sounded like an apology.



\"Aa,\" Yue replied, noncommittally, but his voice was soft.



Yue waited in silence for several moments as he walked, acutely aware of the question that would be coming in the next few moments.



Yue... Yuki murmured finally, in his gentlest tone. I know he hurt you very much...but do you think you will be able to forgive him?



\"No,\" Yue said quietly, and he heard Yuki catch his breath, surprised by his curtness. \"There\'s no reason to forgive him.\"



But...Yue... Yuki began, but Yue cut him off.



\"He is not the one who hurt me,\" Yue breathed, and he felt Yuki\'s shock course through him. \"And the fact that I was hurt...is not Clow\'s fault either.\"



The thought remained unspoken, but it appeared to Yuki as clearly as though the pain had been his own.



/I died inside the day he left me.../



Yue was keenly aware of the depth of sorrow that filled Yuki as the thought sank fully into his own awareness.



Yue... Yuki whispered, sounding near tears.



The force of Yuki\'s emotion over his own was the last that Yue could take; he stopped walking abruptly, turning to the nearest tree and reaching out a hand to press against the bark, trying to keep himself upright as he closed his eyes, bringing up a hand to cover his face.



\"Everything dies...that\'s what he told me. \'Everything dies, Yue...even you\',\" Yue whispered, both to himself and to his silent companion. \"For a long time, I wished...I wished that I could.\"



\"Yue.\"



This time the voice was clearly not Yuki\'s, and not only because it existed outside of Yue\'s own head. He turned quickly, opening his eyes, and for a moment he looked vaguely panicked when he saw the gentle concern in Touya\'s gaze.



\"To-ya...\" Yue breathed, straightening, and Touya watched as Yue tried to compose his face into its usual impassive mask. But despite himself, the effort backfired, and instead, Yue\'s face crumpled slightly, reflecting the sorrow pressing deeply into his soul, touching places he\'d tried to close off long before.



Touya didn\'t bother to speak, or to wonder about whether he was welcomed by Yue the same way he would have been by Yuki; he didn\'t even seem to think as he took the few steps forward and lifted his hands, pulling Yue gently towards him. His arms didn\'t hesitate to wrap themselves tightly around Yue, enfolding him in a warm embrace, and he closed his eyes when he felt Yue respond, at first hesitantly, his own arms snaking up behind Touya\'s back until his hands were clutching Touya\'s shoulders, pulling him closer.



\"Yue,\" he murmured, as though the sound of the name itself could soothe Yue. Touya\'s hands gently stroked Yue\'s back, trying to calm the slight shudders that ran through his slender body, and when Touya felt the warmth of moisture against his neck, his caresses only grew gentler.



Yue said nothing...he didn\'t need or want to say anything, and he certainly didn\'t need to speak aloud for Touya to be aware of his gratitude...to be held, to be touched, again. It had been so long since he\'d allowed anyone that close, and he hadn\'t intended to change...but something about his encounter with Eriol had altered something within him, shattered something he\'d thought he\'d long since placed under control.



Gods...it hurt so badly...to feel again...



*****



\"Oh...I...I\'m sorry!\"



Touya lifted his head from where it had been resting lightly against the top of Yuki\'s head. More slowly, Yuki raised his head from Touya\'s shoulder and lifted a hand to wipe away his tears before putting his glasses back on and turning to look at the intruder.



\"Yukito-san,\" Sakura whispered as she took a step closer, spying the tear tracks down his cheeks. \"A...are you all right...?\"



Strangely, Yuki felt some warmth return to his limbs, the numbness receding, when he saw the bright concern in Sakura\'s brilliant green eyes.



\"Yes...I\'m fine, Sakura-chan,\" Yuki answered, a slight, genuine smile brightening the sorrowful expression on his face. \"Thank you.\"



Sakura hesitated, looking as though she wanted to say something more, but when she saw the look in Touya\'s eyes, she closed her mouth and simply nodded, forcing herself to smile.



Glancing up to offer Touya a gentle smile, Yuki stepped away and moved towards Sakura, reaching out a hand towards her. She took it with only a moment\'s hesitation, her smile broadening when he gently squeezed her fingers.



\"I hope this day has been as happy as you hoped, Sakura-chan,\" Yuki said softly, smiling his brightest smile down at her, and she responded as she always had, beaming like the newly risen sun.



\"It has,\" she answered, and just as he guided her away from the trees, out into the sunlight, she lifted her head and waved to her new husband, standing a few feet away. He waved back and smiled, much more warmly than he was once capable of. \"It has, Yukito-san...thank you. This day has been better than I could have ever hoped.\"



\"I\'m glad,\" Yuki said, and Sakura glanced at him in surprise which quickly turned to delight when he again squeezed her hand. All traces of sadness were gone from his face now; all she could see was his familiar, brilliant smile. \"I\'m glad.\"



*****



With a quiet sigh, Clow closed his book and reached up to take off his pince-nez before running a hand wearily over his face. Something felt strange tonight...something about the heat of the fire, usually so comforting, was bothering him. He felt a cold sweat rising on his cheeks and frowned. He replaced his spectacles and peered at the fire, as though it might somehow be at fault. Idly, he wondered if he might be coming down with something...even great magicians occasionally catch colds, he reminded himself, and he decided to pass it off with a slight smile. He would cross that bridge when he came to it.



\"Hey, Clow...\" a familiar voice hailed him from the hall, and he lifted his head, smiling automatically when he saw the bright-eyed face of his sun guardian poking through the open doorway. \"Have you seen Yue?\"



Clow\'s eyes reopened to regard Cerberus, and as he looked closer, he gradually became aware of some slight sense of unease about the great beast, as though he had witnessed something disturbing. He could feel Cerberus\' discomfiture flickering along the magical connection that always existed between Clow and his guardians.



\"No, I haven\'t seen him...why?\"



\"I...\" Cerberus hesitated, his eyes dropping to the floor as though he was ashamed. Clow\'s smile slowly faded, his expression becoming curious. \"I told him something I probably shouldn\'t have.\"



\"Oh?\" Clow\'s voice was as patient as always, holding no concern, but this only seemed to disquiet Cerberus more.



\"I told him...that everything dies,\" Cerberus said, his voice falling to a hesitant whisper.



Clow blinked, brow furrowing slightly in confusion.



\"But...Cerberus...Yue is quite aware of the reality of death.\"



Cerberus closed his eyes, hanging his head.



\"You might think so, but...he isn\'t. Not really. He thinks he knows that things die, but he\'s never noticed that...even the things he loves die. He\'s never really noticed...so...\"



Cerberus fell silent, now staring resolutely at the carpet, as though he expected to be punished.



\"Is that so?\"



Clow\'s voice, when it came, was so soft that Cerberus lifted his head in surprise, staring into the room at his master, who now sat stiff-backed in his chair, his eyes focused on something out the window.



Cerberus held his breath for a moment, and flinched slightly when he heard the soft sound of Clow\'s sigh.



\"It\'s all right, Cerberus,\" Clow murmured, his eyes closed, as usual, as he slowly got to his feet. \"I\'ll take care of Yue. Go ahead...go to bed.\"



\"But...\" Cerberus began, but his voice dropped away when Clow lifted a hand and smiled warmly.



\"It\'s all right,\" Clow said again, in his kindest tone, and Cerberus swallowed hard, but nodded and turned away, slowly making his way towards his room.



Clow waited several moments, until the sound of Cerberus\' paws padding on the hardwood floor faded away. Then, glancing once more out the window, Clow started to make his way through the huge house, stopping only once to retrieve a blanket before making his way to the front door.



It had begun to snow lightly, fat, delicate white flakes floating out of the purple-tinged evening sky to lay themselves gently against the grass. Clow watched the snowflakes fall, paying them the same attention he would give to an important book, thinking that each of them was precious. Every time one of them fell to the grass and dissolved away, he felt a slight pang of sadness.



When he had created Cerberus and Yue, he had imbued in them, through his magic, all of the most important emotions of his life. These feelings had created the core that was needed to breathe life into a new soul. Despite himself, Clow had been unable to hold back the more unpleasant of his emotions, and they too had been passed on to his creations. Yue in particular had inherited his master\'s tendency towards melancholia, and more than once, Clow had felt keenly the sorrow of having to look upon Yue\'s beautiful face and watch it be overtaken by sadness.



Clow slowly let out his breath as he completed the short walk to the gardens and stepped through the gate, only to catch it again when his eyes came to rest on Yue. The moon guardian was kneeling on the ground at the other end of the gardens, his head lowered, wings slumped with disappointment, allowing the snow to gather in the silvery strands of Yue\'s hair.



Yue stiffened at first when he felt the touch of a familiar hand against the top of his head, as though he hadn\'t expected to be interrupted even though he surely must have felt his master\'s presence. Then, slowly, he lifted his head and looked up at Clow, his eyes bright, shimmering with unshed tears.



\"Clow...\" he whispered, a pitiful, desolate whisper that trailed into silence as Yue closed his eyes and leaned into Clow\'s touch.



\"Yue,\" Clow whispered back, crouching beside Yue, ignoring the way his robes draped in the freshly fallen snow. Yue flinched slightly, obviously trying to keep from crying, and pressed closer to Clow\'s hand as Clow slowly stroked his fingers through the fine strands of Yue\'s hair.



\"What is it?\" Clow asked, allowing his concern into his voice.



Yue didn\'t answer except to hold up his hand, but his fingers were tightly clenched, so Clow couldn\'t see what he was holding. Clow\'s hand fell from Yue\'s head, his fingers slowly working apart Yue\'s grip until his palm was uncovered, revealing what Yue clutched so firmly: the withered remains of a white rose, moist from the snow. Clow gasped quietly, not because of the rose, but because of the blood leaking slowly from the numerous cuts on Yue\'s palm and fingers. He had been holding the rose so tightly that the thorns had cut him. He must have noticed, but it wasn\'t enough to make him let go.



\"Yue...\" Clow began, confusion evident in his soft tone as he closed his fingers around the injured hand, his fingertips gently stroking Yue\'s, releasing more of the tension in the rigid digits.



\"They died,\" Yue said, in a quiet, deadened version of his usual dulcet tones. His free hand waved wearily, indicating the rose garden before him, all of the blooms that had been so beautiful only a few short days before now fallen into disarray, taken by the first wintry chill. \"Cerberus was right...they died. I didn\'t think that...\"



\"Yue...\" Clow said again, and this time his voice was made breathless by his own sympathy. Of course...of course if Clow was so heavily affected by small things like this, little realizations of the realities of a life made cold by the knowledge of death...then of course Yue would feel those things just as keenly. And Yue hadn\'t had as many years to become used to the shock of feeling his heart go cold every time one of these small realizations reached it.



Clow\'s hand was back in Yue\'s hair, stroking gently, and he watched in silence as Yue finally let the tears fall, trickling slowly down his cheeks, almost lost amidst the moisture from the snow. The look in Yue\'s eyes was so lost...recently it had been harder and harder for Clow to realize that in many ways, Yue was still a child, incapable of understanding so many things that, to Clow, seemed natural. It was Clow\'s duty to teach Yue about these many small truths, but every time he had to speak another truth that made Yue\'s eyes cloud with sorrow, he felt another part of himself withering.



\"I...\" Yue reached up a hand, blindly wiping away his tears as though trying to stop them, but they kept coming, despite himself. \"You made them, for me...to make me happy, you said. You made them, and they were beautiful...\"



\"Yue...\" Clow hesitated briefly, then made his way around Yue until he was kneeling in front of the smaller creature, his hands gently lifting Yue\'s, fingers stroking calmly until Yue\'s fingers finally relaxed, and the dead rose fell away. As the petals dropped to the ground, lost in the light dusting of snow, Yue\'s eyes fell shut and he let out a shuddering breath, dropping his head.



\"Yue, this is no failure of yours. You loved them...they gave you pleasure...and because of that, it\'s sad that they had to die. But everything dies, Yue...even the things you love. It\'s not something you can help.\"



For a moment Yue was silent, and when his voice came, it was nothing but a harsh whisper, sounding betrayed. Like Clow, he was fully aware that this wasn\'t entirely about flowers; it was also about the painful transition of epiphany, something that Yue experienced with what to him was a terrible regularity. He still had so much to learn, and it seemed to him that for every joyful revelation, the next would be that much more painful. The things he loved would die...did that mean that he would be left alone, someday? Alone, without any of what he loved most to comfort him?



\"Why?\" he rasped, dropping his head further, until he was almost bent double, his breath puffing out clouds of steam over his own and Clow\'s hands. \"Why!?\"



\"There is no reason, Yue,\" Clow said in his gentlest, most sympathetic tone, a voice that usually soothed Yue. Tonight it only made him taste ashes in his mouth. \"This is simply something that we have to accept.\"



\"I don\'t want to accept it!\" Yue shouted, lifting his head swiftly and opening blazing eyes to glare at his creator. \"I won\'t accept it! Everything...everything I love...\"



His voice choked off again, and his expression softened as abruptly as it had angered. For a moment he looked as though he might say something else, but when his mouth opened, it was only to let out an odd little sound, something between a shuddering breath and a muffled sob. He quickly pulled his hands out of Clow\'s gentle grip and, with a single flap of his great wings, he lifted off the ground and turned, intent on running away. He stopped, closing his eyes again, desperation building in him, when he felt Clow\'s hand close firmly around his, holding him in place.



\"Yue,\" Clow said, in another familiar tone, both firm and gentle at the same time. \"Yue, please...look at me.\"



Yue didn\'t obey the request, but he did settle back to the ground, his bare feet resting lightly in the snow as he fluttered and folded his wings.



\"Everything I love...\" he whispered again. He sounded so desolate, so...broken...Clow caught his breath, closing his eyes briefly against the flash of his own pain. More than anything, he hated to hurt Yue, but at times like this, there was no other choice. \"Does that mean...\"



Clow\'s eyes opened again, staring at the slumped line of Yue\'s shoulders as Yue spoke, his voice soft, disbelieving.



\"Does that mean that you, too, will die?\" As he said it, Yue slowly turned around, lifting his head, hesitantly meeting Clow\'s gaze. The moment his eyes met Clow\'s and he saw the sorrow resting deep within their dark color, Yue felt his heart stop. \"Clow...\"



There it was again...such a broken whisper...



Clow cleared his throat quietly, preparing to speak again, lifting a hand to cup Yue\'s cheek as he looked into Yue\'s bright, sorrowful eyes. Filled with tears, Yue\'s eyes were even more beautiful than usual, the drops illuminating the brilliant silver.



Clow\'s voice died in his throat, surprise making his eyes widen, when Yue\'s look of despair suddenly faded into a look of determination.



\"No!\" he shouted, reaching up to slap Clow\'s hand aside as he launched himself forward, his lips colliding clumsily with Clow\'s. At first Clow hesitated slightly, tasting the salt of Yue\'s tears on his lips, but then he let his hands come to rest on Yue\'s shoulders, caressing gently even as his tongue lightly stroked Yue\'s lips, seeking entrance.



Yue moaned softly and opened his mouth under the press of Clow\'s lips, and Yue\'s weight seemed to leave him slowly, his body pressing closer to Clow\'s, as Clow\'s tongue gently explored Yue\'s mouth, caressing familiar territory, tasting the familiar, sweet flavor. Yue\'s hands were clutching Clow\'s neck tightly enough that his nails were raking marks into the skin, but Clow didn\'t mind; he knew it couldn\'t last.



\"No...I won\'t let you go...\" Yue whispered hoarsely as he finally broke the kiss, breathing harshly. He closed his eyes and leaned closer, his arms folding around Clow\'s neck as he pressed his face into Clow\'s shoulder. \"Please...don\'t go...\"



Clow sighed quietly, closing his eyes, briefly exerting a bit of magic to summon the blanket he had left lying on the ground. When it rested in his hands, he wrapped it gently around Yue\'s shoulders, resting it lightly in the groove where Yue\'s wings met the skin of his back.



\"Please...\" Yue whispered brokenly, his strength leaving him bit by bit as he clutched onto Clow. \"Please...\"



\"Yue,\" Clow murmured, and for a moment he twisted his body oddly in Yue\'s grip, relaxing when he finally managed to lift Yue, one arm under his back and one under his knees. He cradled Yue gently to his chest, smiling slightly when he felt Yue\'s breath slowly evening where it puffed out over the skin of Clow\'s neck. Yue\'s arms remained tightly wrapped around Clow\'s neck, refusing to let go, even as he slowly drifted to sleep the closer Clow came to the house, his steps slow and even.



Yue still didn\'t wake even as Clow reached his bedroom and gently laid Yue on his bed, carefully arranging Yue\'s wings so that he wasn\'t lying on them uncomfortably before he tucked Yue in. He let out another quiet sigh as he dropped to sit next to Yue, his hand reaching out to brush a few of the strands of hair that usually tumbled over Yue\'s forehead to one side, revealing Yue\'s eyes, closed in sleep. But his slumber wasn\'t peaceful; he was frowning slightly. Clow\'s fingertips ran over the lines in Yue\'s pale forehead, gently smoothing them away.



\"I\'m sorry, Yue,\" Clow whispered as he looked down at the sleeping creature, more beautiful than ever in the moonlight. \"Someday I will leave you...I can\'t help it...I would stay with you if I could, Yue...



\"I\'m sorry...\"



*****



Yuki shot upright, his hands reaching to clutch onto something, anything, as his eyes flew open. One hand had twisted itself into the sheets, but the other had hit something hard that shifted under his touch.



\"Mm...Yuki?\" Touya asked sleepily as he rolled over and touched Yuki\'s hand where it clutched at his arm. He quickly blinked the sleep out of his eyes when he saw the way Yuki was breathing hard and fast, his skin pale and coated with sweat.



\"Yuki...\" Touya whispered, sitting up and placing his hands on Yuki\'s shoulders. \"What\'s wrong?\"



He waited as patiently as he could while Yuki fought to catch his breath, finally swallowing and slowly forcing himself to relax, leaning back against Touya. Touya wrapped his arms around Yuki, pressing him to his chest, and dropped his head to brush a gentle kiss over the top of Yuki\'s head.



\"I...I don\'t know,\" Yuki breathed finally, closing his eyes. \"It wasn\'t my dream.\"



Yuki\'s voice was so quiet, so unlike its usual cheerful tone...Touya glanced down at Yuki, his worry increasing.



\"Yuki...?\"



Yuki didn\'t reply, and his eyes remained closed, but the frown on his face made his concern clear. But Touya couldn\'t feel it, couldn\'t hear what Yuki could hear, what made Yuki feel so confused, so hopeless...



Yue was crying.



*****



END PART TWO