Evangelion Ressurection: Hell on Earth

Shinji Ikari, aged seventeen, had graduated before turning eighteen. Just two months earlier he had graduated from high school, and everything was looking bright, now it was June the fifth and he was lying stretched out on his bed, the SDAT playing music in his ear as his arms folded behind his head. Already he was bordering on sleep, his eyes half closed and the darkness having closed in about him. Just a few moments more, he had to stay awake just a little longer.

His eyes had closed fully, and the instant he closed them the door to his room slammed open and he was sitting bolt-upright in his bed looking to the doorway wide-eyed. The light blinded his eyes which were already accustomed to the darkness of the room, but it was the trio of shapes that stood in the doorway that he could only see a vague outline of. Finally Misato\'s voice broke the silence, and he had to remove one of the earbuds to his SDAT to hear what was said.

\"Happy birthday Shinji!\"

\"Alles Gute Zum Geburtstag, dummkopf!\"

Shinji rolled over and threw the pillow over his head, trying to drown out their voices. His cheeks had flushed pink in the moment and already they had seen him and had joined in a chorus of laughter at the boy\'s embarrassment. Already he was grumbling into the sheets of his sleeping mat, \"Why does this always happen to me?\"

Misato moved acrossed the room, intent on grabbing ahold of the blanket Shinji was hiding under and yanked it away, only to reveal the teenager quite nude below the covers. Asuka\'s eyes widened as she spun away, \"You.... PERVERT! Sleeping in the nude Shinji!\" Asuka peeked over her shoulder to stare at him for a moment while Shinji fought frantically for the blanket held in Misato\'s hand. That look in Asuka\'s eyes caused him to pause, almost like he was prey being stalked by the predator. Asuka had finally turned back and moved across the room towards him feeling so insignificant under that hungry gaze, that was until he heard something that seemed quite distant. His eyes snapped open as he shot up, his hands instantly coming to his chest to find himself fully clothed and a knocking on his door across the room.

Sunlight was already streaming into the bedroom, and he rubbed the palms of his hands into his eyes as he got to his feet moving at a half stumble towards the doorway which slid open to reveal Asuka of all people standing there. She looked at him for a few moments almost like she was going to say something, then abruptly changed her mind as she saw the front part of his pajama pants tented up. A shreik and a sharp slap across the cheek later she stormed away muttering a stream of curses in German, but one of them came out Japanese and he understood that at least, \"Answering the door like that?! What the hell was that pervert doing in there..... I don\'t want to know!\"

Shinji sighed and slid the door closed as he lumbered towards the dresser of clothes, and debated what he wanted to wear. Today was his birthday after all, the clothes he finally decided on were a pair of blue jeans with a black shirt, and he slipped off to the bathroom trying to avoid the gaze of Asuka who would certainly have told Misato of how he answered the door. That alone would earn him a week of ridicule by Misato, but he could only hope they wouldn\'t start today.

Soon after Shinji was standing in a nice hot shower, his eyes closed as he tried to clear his mind of the dream he\'d had. It wasn\'t helping matters that whenever he tried to put it out of his mind, some part of him actually worked on fantasizing a little bit more of the dream. In one version Asuka had kissed him, in another she had slapped him, and in yet a third she had undressed right there and proceeded to \"properly\" wish him a happy birthday with onlookers.

Shinji couldn\'t stand it any longer, he flipped off the shower in a disgusted manner. He\'d never thought like this, sure he\'d been a bit of a pervert, but he had never really fantasized about Asuka. It wasn\'t until she had asked for the second button of his school uniform, a Japanese tradition wherein female students asked people they liked for some sort of momento, that he\'d started thinking like this. Taking a few moments to towel off and dress he exited the bathroom, taking his pajamas and setting them on the top of his dresser before he went into the kitchen intent on cooking breakfast.

The fact that there was actually steam rolling out of the kitchen made Shinji blink as he entered to see Misato working over the stove. Instantly Shinji\'s stomach did a backflip, Misato was cooking and this wasn\'t instant food, for all those who thought there could be no worse fate than death they hadn\'t eaten Misato\'s \"home cooking.\" Misato looked up and grinned ear to ear while holding up a golden colored Yebisu can, \"G\'morning Shinji, I\'m cooking breakfast today so it\'ll be ready in a little bit. Oh, by the way, happy birthday. Asuka\'s already done your chores for the day, even though she complained to no end.\"

Shinji\'s jaw almost fell off his face at that point, the fact that Misato was trying to cook him a birthday breakfast from scratch touched him to the point that he was going to have to make some attempt at actually eating it, so as not to at least hurt her feelings.

At that point Asuka came tromping into the kitchen, her face red as she leveled an accusing finger at Shinji, \"Who the hell said you could have a birthday Shinji?! I sure as hell didn\'t and I blame you for me doing YOUR chores!\"

Shinji almost burst our laughing, of course Asuka would be upset that she had to do more than she wanted. However he kept it under control and mechanically answered, \"I\'m sorry Asuka..\"

Before the words were even out of his mouth she almost jumped across the table her hands trying to grab ahold of his throat and throttle him, \"Why you spineless... Gott verdammt.. baka. It\'s not your fault you have a birthday, so why are you apologizing? It just pisses me off that you can\'t be more like.. more like.. well more like a man!\" Without her hands ever closing around Shinji\'s throat she stomped towards the door, pausing long enough to give a malicious grin and make a comment to Misato, \"Do you realize what a pervert that boy is Misato? Just this morning when I tried to wake him up ever so nicely he had the nerve to answer the door in a, shall we say, excited state?\" That last jab in she left the room.

Shinji could feel the sensation rising in his ears and spreading across his face, he couldn\'t help the fact that he\'d awoken with an erection. The way Misato paused in drinking her beer, caused Shinji to try slinking out of the room. Misato set the can down and stated quite strongly, \"If you leave the room Shinji, I\'ll make sure to drag out the teasing on that for weeks. Besides, I won\'t give you the present I got you for your birthday if you try to sneak off either. No way you\'re using that as your excuse to get out of eating my cooking!\"

After the first chopstick full of rice and miso soup Shinji instantly wished he had just left the room and used that as an excuse not to come back. Thankfully though breakfast wasn\'t interrupted by Misato\'s constant heckling, she actually seemed like she wanted to laugh about it rather than make fun about it. Shinji found the few minutes he had with Misato enjoyable, at least until Asuka joined them with a breakfast that consisted of food bought from the local convenience store, she wasn\'t taking the chance on Misato\'s cooking.

When everyone had finished their breakfast, Misato looked at Asuka and cleared her throat before she began to clear the dishes. Shinji looked from the elder woman to the fiery tempered younger one, and wondered what was going on. Certainly it could be no good, that was to say the least.

\"Asuka don\'t you have something you wanted to ask Shinji about?\"

Asuka looked shocked by the words, almost like she wasn\'t going to say a single word to Shinji. However she glared at Misato for a few moments then switched her gaze to Shinji, \"Why would I ask this pervert something like that?\"

\"Asuka, you told me you were desperate just last night. Now tell me what\'s changed since then?\"

Now it was Asuka\'s turn to get red faced and embarrassed as she looked at Shinji, loathe as she was to admit defeat there was no way in weaseling her way out of this one. A deal was a deal, and she had made a pact with the Devil incarnate in Misato Katsuragi.

\"Nothing... Err.. uh.. Shinji. How would you like to go to dinner tonight? Hikari\'s going on a date with Toji, and well she asked me to come along. Much as I hate to admit it, I\'m going to feel like you do Shinji, a constant third wheel.\"

Shinji couldn\'t help but contain his laughter at this point, he was beginning to see already what Asuka\'s little problem was. Hikari had proposed a double date, but Asuka hadn\'t been able to find a guy to go with her. The only problem was, that she had waited until the day of the double date to actually try finding someone. That left her with only one recourse, Shinji was forced to be the one she asked out.

\"So the high and mighty Asuka Langley Sohryu was forced to ask \'little old pervert\' Shinji on a double date so that she doesn\'t look like a complete idiot because she couldn\'t find anyone else? Well, seeing as how I\'m just a third wheel all the time Asuka.. no.\"

Misato had actually busied herself with trying to do the dishes, until Shinji actually turned Asuka down. Her eyes widened a bit, she had thought that from all the talks she had with Shinji while Asuka was off with friends, that he had some sort of feelings for the fiery red-head. She couldn\'t have been wrong in that, but the way Shinji had just attacked Asuka it wasn\'t like him. Then again ever since he\'d been forced to watch as his Eva brutally destroyed Toji\'s at the hands of the dummy plug, Shinji had become more aggressive than before, and was finally letting loose his true feelings.

\"NO?! You\'re turning down a once in a lifetime chance at a date with me Shinji?! You...\"

Shinji abruptly stood up, his right hand clenched at his side shaking violently. Asuka had really managed to piss him off that morning, \"Listen you self-absorbed, egotistical pain in the ass... Just because you think you\'re top of the pecking order doesn\'t mean that everyone has to bow down just to kiss your ass. I don\'t care what you say, you treat me like my father... like I\'m nothing more than a speck of dirt beneath your notice. I\'m not just going to take that lying down, you hear me Asuka?\"

Shinji spun on his heel and stormed out of not just the kitchen, but the apartment at that. His anger on the rise as he bypassed the elevator and instead stomped down the steps. Some time later he found himself sitting in the spot where he had nearly crushed Suzuhara and Aida with those few short years ago, during his battle with Shamshel. As angry as he was at Asuka for treating him like dirt, something did hurt inside him as he sat there staring out over the city that for the past two years had been safe from Angel attacks.

The cellular phone that Misato had given him chimed in his pocket and he looked at the display when it read that Toji of all people was calling. Shinji hesitantly answered the phone wondering just how much of a head of steam Toji had, after all Shinji had probably ruined his date with Hikari.

\"Hello?\"

\"Hey Shinji.. I just heard from Hikari what happened with Asuka this morning. What a bummer man, but I must say she had it coming after all this time.\" Shinji paused, Suzuhara actually seemed happy for some reason.

\"I\'m sorry I ruined your date with Hikari tonight Toji.\"

\"Not at all, Hikari and I are still going out.. and I guess Asuka\'s supposed to be coming too, it seems like she found someone to go with us. It\'s like she wasn\'t even phased by you blowing up at her man.\"

\"Huh, would you mind running that by me again? Asuka has already found someone else to go, who?!\"

\"Of all the people you won\'t believe this.. Aida. Kensuke is supposed to be going with us.\"

\"Ke.. Kensuke?! How the hell could he betray me like that?\"

\"Earth to Shinji, hello.. You told Asuka, in not so nice terms, that she didn\'t have a snowball\'s chance in hell. Besides, ever since he started selling pictures of her back in high school he\'s even grown out of his military phase. Lately all he\'s talked about is Asuka this, and Asuka that. It\'s like he\'s got a crush on her I tell you.\"

Shinji fell silent at Toji\'s words. Despite the fact that he actually had feelings for Asuka, Kensuke had pounced on Asuka\'s invitation to dinner. Something inside Shinji stirred as he growled, it should be him going to dinner with Asuka, Toji, and Hikari. Instead he had chosen the wrong time to suddenly grow a backbone and speak what was on his mind. Almost mechanically he said into the phone, \"Goodbye Toji, I\'ve got something I have to do now.\"

\"Uh yeah... I better get going too Hikari\'s going to be wondering where I\'m at if I don\'t leave now..\"

Without further thinking of what he was doing Shinji turned the phone off and stuffed it in his pocket, Misato would be gone to work, he\'d gone off on his own like this before. By the time he got back, Shinji hoped at least, Asuka would be gone on the date so that he wouldn\'t have to worry about seeing her either. The walk back was a slow one however, and when he got back Asuka had already returned from dinner, which is all it was.

As he walked in the doorway Asuka was immediately standing in front of him, aparently seething about his earlier refusal to go out with her. Shinji tried to get by her form which was blocking the entryway. Finally she managed to speak the words that were boiling inside of her, \"Shinji, who the hell do you think you are?! You can\'t talk to me like that you spineless coward... running off after you said it before I could tell you what I think of you... you.. fucking bastard!\"

Shinji stood by passively, he let Asuka go off but he wasn\'t angry like he thought he would be. His eyes stared straight ahead and he moved once again to go by her and again she foiled his attempt. \"Don\'t go thinking that just because you told me off that for one second you\'re a man, you\'ve got some nerve...\"

Shinji had had enough of Asuka\'s words at that point, and gripped her shoulders before he shoved her against the wall a bit harder than he had intended. He wasn\'t angry at her, or even at Kensuke for accepting her, he was angry at himself and like a blind and wounded animal he was lashing out at the nearest thing. With Asuka prevented from impeding his movement he went into his bedroom and within minutes reemerged with a duffle slung over his shoulder.

\"Just like you... Shinji the coward running away when people come down on him! Do you have any idea how lucky you are to be alive Shinji, cause I sure as hell am mad enough to kill you at this moment!\"

For a few moments he stopped and looked at Asuka sadly, his eyes rimmed with tears as he tried to speak, but words couldn\'t form. What would she know of how he felt at that moment? She was too busy putting herself on a pedestal to really understand the feelings of others. Finally Shinji did find his voice, but it had no edge it was full of repressed emotions as if it had all fled to him in that very instant.

\"Asuka.. I really do feel sorry for you. Always spending too much time making yourself sound so unafraid of anything to notice what\'s really going on around you. You fought with Eva 02 so that you could make a name for yourself. You call me a coward by deciding when it\'s time to move on with my life? Then so be it, I\'m just a coward. Sometimes it takes a person willing to let go of something to prove just how strong they really are. I\'m not running from you or anyone else..\"

\"You say you\'re not a coward, and yet you gave up fighting the Angels not once but twice.. Your berserk Eva almost killed Toji, it was you that crushed Kaowru just like a coward. Do whatever you want Shinji, because I personally don\'t care about what you have to say any more.\"

Shinji didn\'t bite back the retort this time, he didn\'t sugar coat his words any more. It seemed that the only way to get through to Asuka was with a strong showing, and that\'s what he needed right now, \"Yes my Eva almost killed Toji, it\'s because of ME he\'s just now learning to walk again. It\'s because of me he\'s lived the last couple of years in a wheelchair! It\'s because I\'ve got a conscience that tells me what my father did was wrong in ordering me to destroy Unit 03! You go on talking about me piloting my Eva and doing things in it that would make people afraid... yes I was the one that put the Eva in a place to do those things, or prevent them. Unlike someone like you who lost their ability to sychronize with the Eva because she was too absorbed in her own pity to care about the real reason we needed the Evas in the first place!\"

With the words torn from his mouth Shinji turned his back on her, and walked out the door letting it close behind him.


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\"So you see Misato, I felt I had no choice but to leave. I had feelings, and I still do have feelings, for Asuka. I did what I thought was the right thing to do at the time, let her be angry at me and show her that she could do things outside of my shadow. She was always comparing herself to me, and calling me a coward because that was how she viewed me. Maybe to the way she was raised, yes I was a coward and probably still am. However I think I can now see things clearly now.\"

Misato had listened in with great interest to the telling of Shinji\'s story, only occasionally sipping the tea she had made. Without fail she had listened to the entire thing without interrupting him, and she could actually sympathize with Shinji a little bit.

\"Tell me then Shinji.. Why did you run away? You say you were trying to prove there\'s strength in solitude, but we both know that\'s a big load of bullshit. You say you were trying to do what you felt was best for you and for Asuka, this time I think it\'s a load of bullshit. What\'s at the core of all this Shinji, I know you had some other reason for leaving like you did.\"

Shinji\'s mouth gaped open for a few moments as he listened. Misato had actually grown smarter and wiser in the few years he\'d been away. He hadn\'t expected her to see through the excuse he had given her, but she had and he felt there was no choice but to tell Misato the truth of the matter.

\"You\'re right I didn\'t leave because it was \'for the best\' of either me or Asuka. I left because I had to know for myself if it was possible... if it was possible that I really was a coward. Let me ask you this, would a coward come back knowing full well what awaited him here? Would a coward carry a renewed passion to fight for humanity, even if it wasn\'t as a warrior to protect them? Tell me Misato.. do you think I\'m a coward?\"